Is depression caused by suppressed anger?

[brioche]

Both of my grandmothers were diagnosed with depression. I ended up getting it. I have anxiety disorder and my dad has a different form too. It has been shown that depression is caused by decreased neurotransmitters in the brain, esp. serotonin and norepinephrine.

In addition, MRIs have revealed that children living in a household with at least one parent with anxiety have some of the physical changes of the brain that occur with anxiety disorders.

As with so many other things, it seems to me that depression comes from a combination of nature and nurture. If you don't have the predisposition, you won't get it, but if you do have it, once the right environmental stressors come to bear on you, it'll happen.

The best way to deal with it is therapy and meds in concert. However, for those of you who will not see your doctor, I recommend "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by Dr. David Burns. It gives a sort of DYI cognitive behavioural therapy. I have other reading lists for anxiety and perfectionism and such, but we're talking depression here.

Oh and therapy - you don't need to stay in it. I currently see a therapist once every six months. If the clinic feels I need more, or a brush-up, and I agree, I go. Otherwise I'm free as a bird.
brioche

Edited to add: yes, I am also one who will be on meds for the rest of my life. It's a hard idea to adjust to. But you do it because you have to. And yes, only another depressive can truly understand.

 

[SkyyAngel]

"only another depressive can truly understand."

Second that!

Like when I was suicidal... I ended up "understanding" what that's all about. It's not about not being able to handle life... or being a coward. It's about control... you're entire life is spinning out of control and it seems like whether you live or die is the only think you can control....

 

[Pure]

brioche,

i think you've gotten some fine answers on this thread. several say that depression has multiple causes, and i agree. one thing that might be clarified, however, is that the 'causes' or explanations are not necessarily in competition with each other. for example, it may be that in some cases emotional abuse in childhood causes later depression. but that doesn't mean that 'low serotonin' or 'chemical inbalance' is NOT present. nor, just because the cause might be 'abuse' does it mean that treating the chemical inbalance is useless. (or, to put it another way; i don't agree that because it's caused by abuse, you must spend five years talking about the abuse to relieve your sympton.)

the only point i'd add by way of emphasis, is that the 'anger' theory points to the problem of frustration--perhaps knowing where you want to go, but finding the barriers insuperable or impossible. i think that many depressed people are in 'dead ends'-- jobs, marriages, etc.; they know of no way out, and that (regardless whether we talk anger, despair, sadness--whatever feeling) causes their depression.

in what way? they lose capacity to act. they feel paralyzed. all reasonable suggestions are rejected. that is what being 'depressed' is, even if a person does not feel anything. the point of any cognitive therapy is to help the person get a better view of things. to realize alternatives. to undertake the simple tasks that would help improve things; to do what can be done. and accept that that's all that can be done (e.g., if confined to a wheel chair indefinitely).

 

[FurryFury]

Yes, feeling hopeless and helpless is when I know I'm depressed.

Yes like many people I have a long history of suppressing anger and there was some abuse.

No I don't want to talk about it forever either or take drugs for it.

Fury

 

[pupper]

Why wouldn't they use Adderall to cure seratonin,and dopamine.I have adult add,
I am not hyperactive,but a 30mg adderrall a day keeps me on task(instead of sometimes procrastinating about things)I can fel in the short time the dr has had me on them,I can feel a mood elevating feeling,and I tend to be on target in everything I do.It helps me with keeping all by business dealing on target and I can actually keep everything in order.I may not have depression,but I can't keep shit straight,or I couldn't keep shit straight without them at the level of business that I do.I am constantly on the phone or nextel radio most of the day,or meeting with someone in a business deal,where I used to tend to let my mind wander.If folks with a chemical imbalance needed an elevated level of dopamine or seretonin why wouldn't a low level adderall say 10mg extended release for all day.I am on the 30xr.I have add so the amphetemine does not make me speedy,but I feel a definate elevated mood.I have been able to eat right I have steadily lose weight,and quit smoking.My cholesterol was ar 290 a year ago,now I am at 155 total cholesterol.I lost thirty pounds before the adderall I still eat regular meals,it helps me with my ability not to over eat.I am sleeping better(I used to binge eat at night)I sleep through the night.But I wonder if adderall would help folks with depression or anxiety,or would it make it worse?I have never been really depressed for more than a day or two(at any point in my 43 years),I have no problems in social situations.I can get in front of a large room of people 350-500,and actually get a little anxious speaking to smaller groups of say 12-15 because the setting is more intimate when addressing a small group.so I have never been depressed like my wife gets sometimes and it builds over a period of a week or so and is also usually with pms time but can last into her cycle so it can effect her when she ovulates and just before she starts her period, when she usually "gets as horny as a three dick billygoat"at these two times usually.

 

[Undomiel]

Could it be that you may be angry that your friend was taken and you weren't? Or angry that they left you?

Just saying is all.... I mean, I know I've felt that way about death in my life. Please don't take any offense. I'm seriously not intending any.

None taken I was angry for a time, at the doctors for not saving her. But that was more of a phase than anything else. It seems to me its more caused by utter hopelessness and sadness.

 

[pupper]

Un,I am very sorry to hear of your loss.I hope the best for you in the future and hope and pray that you can move beyond your depression.I could not fathom the loss of my wife,she is such a part of me,that a part of me would die.

 

[Undomiel]

Thank you. It was a few years ago and though I have accepted it, I still get pretty upset. It changed my whole life. She should be 21 this Friday.

 

[brioche]

Why wouldn't they use Adderall to cure seratonin,and dopamine.I have adult add,
I am not hyperactive,but a 30mg adderrall a day keeps me on task(instead of sometimes procrastinating about things)I can fel in the short time the dr has had me on them,I can feel a mood elevating feeling,and I tend to be on target in everything I do.It helps me with keeping all by business dealing on target and I can actually keep everything in order.I may not have depression,but I can't keep shit straight,or I couldn't keep shit straight without them at the level of business that I do.I am constantly on the phone or nextel radio most of the day,or meeting with someone in a business deal,where I used to tend to let my mind wander.If folks with a chemical imbalance needed an elevated level of dopamine or seretonin why wouldn't a low level adderall say 10mg extended release for all day.I am on the 30xr.I have add so the amphetemine does not make me speedy,but I feel a definate elevated mood.I have been able to eat right I have steadily lose weight,and quit smoking.My cholesterol was ar 290 a year ago,now I am at 155 total cholesterol.I lost thirty pounds before the adderall I still eat regular meals,it helps me with my ability not to over eat.I am sleeping better(I used to binge eat at night)I sleep through the night.But I wonder if adderall would help folks with depression or anxiety,or would it make it worse?I have never been really depressed for more than a day or two(at any point in my 43 years),I have no problems in social situations.I can get in front of a large room of people 350-500,and actually get a little anxious speaking to smaller groups of say 12-15 because the setting is more intimate when addressing a small group.so I have never been depressed like my wife gets sometimes and it builds over a period of a week or so and is also usually with pms time but can last into her cycle so it can effect her when she ovulates and just before she starts her period, when she usually "gets as horny as a three dick billygoat"at these two times usually.

Well, pupper, perhaps Adderall would work for some people, but the issue of meds and the brain is very complex. Everyone's brain is different, and that is why there are so many different meds out there. It took ten years for me to find an anti-depressant I tolerated. There are also anti-depressants which are contraindicated for those with anxiety - they increase anxiety levels in some people, and can make you feel like you are simultaneously getting better and going insane. My response to this was to gain a pound a week.

The brain is such a complex organ that no one truly understands it, and it is my personal opinion that our experiences have something to do with how we tolerate different drugs, because they shape us. But my point is, there is no cookie cutter drug that will help everyone.

 

[christian1971]

Just talked about that Thurs

Just talked about this in group therapy on thursday, about types of depression and anger. Yes they are links between anger and depression, that they can go hand and hand in how you feel.

 

[Pyro Paul]

Depression is not caused by anger, but rather depression also spikes anger in its wake. often so close or so strong that in most extream cases its belived that the Anger is what is causing the depression.

most depression is caused by a negitive motion or lack their of a positive emotion and the idea that you are being either unnessarly handed that negetive or are not recieving your justly due postive emotion.

This feeling tends to lead to anger in spite of. (death of friends/family members. the are no longer there to spend time with and be close with, that causes depression, you also hate them because They are not there or hate yourself because you miss them so)

Anger and depression usualy go hand in hand because anger is your minds Natural way to deal with depression, as it is used to deal with alot of other problems. people be mean to us, we become angry at them. much like a natural defence mechnisim.

Now, Anger CAN cause depression but it is usualy a rare case of how anger causes depression. Anger is usualy an emotion you have towards some one for being better or wosre than you, in cases that you are angry at some oen for being better than you, if they constantly are better than you then you will slide into depression. if you watch anime. or if you just want something to help you understand it, Neon Genises: Evangelion is an 26 ep. anime that goes through all the forms of depression and relience (although some more sutble than others) the form of Anger leading to depression is represented by Asuka, because the Main charicter keeps being better than her and her anger for him makes her sad.

 

[littleroundman]

Actually, the original question was:

"is depression caused by suppressed anger"

And the answer is a resounding yes, especially if you substitute the terms internalised or anger turned inward for suppressed

In many ways the group of symptoms commonly lumped together as "depression" are almost paradoxical in how they interrelate. For example, depression can be situational, e.g. as the direct result of something that's happening now like a relationship breakup, death or job loss. It can also be the result of accumulated stresses, e.g. long term abuse, poverty or a succession of adverse events. Or, it can be a combination of both. It can also have a genetic base, so that seemingly innocuous events, or,indeed nothing apparently visible, can trigger a bout.

So it is with the relationship between anger and depression, nothing is clear cut.

For example, in some people who have suffered childhood abuse, it is not so much the abuse itself that causes anger in adult life, but the coping mechanism the child implements to protect itself misfiring in later life.

A child living in terror very quickly learns protective strategies to enable it to survive the abusive situation. If asking for basic needs provokes a hostile reaction, the child quickly learns other methods of getting what it needs. Many children in such situations learn to preempt abuse by becoming perfectionists so as to avoid criticism. They may take on domestic responsibilities far beyond normal levels, cooking, cleaning, watching over siblings etc. And a great many of them blame themselves for the abuse, after all, to a child, adults, particularly parents, can do no wrong, so, to them, it must be my fault.

Now, while these strategies are necessary to survive the abuse in childhood, they are not necessarily helpful in later life, and often lead to internalised anger and then depression.

Seeking perfection in everything you do may seem like an admirable quality, but when it becomes a necessity in adulthood, it will invariably lead to nasty side effects. Read some biographies of well known high achieving depressives such as Winston Churchill and Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame, and you'll see exactly how deleterious to mental health it becomes. Both of them, at times, resented greatly the very perfectionism that others admired. And both of them came to realise the drive toward perfection was rooted in their childhood need to avoid criticism.

Children in such situations often transfer their domestic responsibility into adulthood aften become unwilling "caretakers" for others. While not, in itself, a bad thing, couple it with a learned fear of voicing unhappiness, and you have an adult who outwardly is doing "everything" for "everybody" else, but inwardly is seething at the unfairness of constantly having to put others needs before their own. This learned survival technique can be so ingrained that the person will even refuse help and claim to be enjoying themselves, even though internally, the anger generated is destroying them via depression. Many people in such situations will seek out needy partners to fulfill their adopted personae, then spend the rest of their life resenting the hell out of their partner, turning the resentment inward, and destroying themselves in the process via the resulting depression.

And, it almost goes without saying that a child who considers itself responsible for their parents abusive behaviour and carries the internal message "I'm flawed, I'm responsible, I have no right to ask for better, I'm not OK" and the inwardly directed anger that accompanies such thoughts forward into adult life can often suffer the depressive consequences.

Similar flawed internalising can often be seen manifesting itself in anorexia, self harm and in victims of childhood abuse who seem to seem to willingly submit themselves to domestic violence in adulthood.

 

[Dsireme]

Depression with anger attacks

I was diganosed with clinical depression when I was a teenager (Fibro) but just found out lately that I have anger attacks with them. I would be mad for little reason, or no reason, throw stuff, had no control what I was doing.

We have finally found the right meds and it rarely happens now. I still get angry of course but never close to the degree I did before.

I actually have a Yahoo group for this. http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Anger_Attacks_from_Depression/

It has been quiet for a while but we get new members every once and awhile. If you need to get something off your chest, you can there.

 

[JustSkye]

bumping because this is a great thread

 

[CountryBoy20]

Id like to add a little to this thread.
I guess you could say anger does have something to do with my depression and anxiety. I too suffered some abuse from my father, even though I do love him very much still. My dad is a very anxious and depressed person himself, and was VERY hard on me growing up. He never really hit me, just verbal abuse. Like, for a long time every day he would come home from work and just start ripping into me, screaming as loud as he could, like sometimes it was over something like forgetting to shut the back door when I came home, or accidentally spilling a drink etc. then he would go to his bedroom, and slam the door shut. And when he yelled, he had that look in his eyes like he was about to kill me. most of the time he had to find a reason to yell at me. Everyday I lived in fear of him. This caused me to withdraw socially. Because of this, I got picked on some, mostly because I never had a chance to learn to stand up for myself. This caused me to become even more depressed. So yea, I was very angry at the time, but my fear of my father and low self esteem kept me from letting that out, except for a few times when the stress got too extreme and I would flip out on someone so bad, I'd be hyperventilating and tearing up after. But I get more and more assertive and confident every day ever since I started going to therapy a few years back. Havn't went in a very long time though, about a year probably.

Also, someone on here said that "you cant understand depression if you havnt experienced it".
That is very true. I've had people tell me "Quit feeling sorry for yourself" or "Just stop worrying so much" or "Just start opening up to people more"
If only it was that easy.

 

[JustSkye]

Id like to add a little to this thread.
I guess you could say anger does have something to do with my depression and anxiety. I too suffered some abuse from my father, even though I do love him very much still. My dad is a very anxious and depressed person himself, and was VERY hard on me growing up. He never really hit me, just verbal abuse. Like, for a long time every day he would come home from work and just start ripping into me, screaming as loud as he could, like sometimes it was over something like forgetting to shut the back door when I came home, or accidentally spilling a drink etc. then he would go to his bedroom, and slam the door shut. And when he yelled, he had that look in his eyes like he was about to kill me. most of the time he had to find a reason to yell at me. Everyday I lived in fear of him. This caused me to withdraw socially. Because of this, I got picked on some, mostly because I never had a chance to learn to stand up for myself. This caused me to become even more depressed. So yea, I was very angry at the time, but my fear of my father and low self esteem kept me from letting that out, except for a few times when the stress got too extreme and I would flip out on someone so bad, I'd be hyperventilating and tearing up after. But I get more and more assertive and confident every day ever since I started going to therapy a few years back. Havn't went in a very long time though, about a year probably.

Also, someone on here said that "you cant understand depression if you havnt experienced it".
That is very true. I've had people tell me "Quit feeling sorry for yourself" or "Just stop worrying so much" or "Just start opening up to people more"
If only it was that easy.

{{{{{CountryBoy20}}}}} I hope you find some solace in the threads here about depression and anxiety and make a few dear friends as well.
And welcome to Lit.

 

[Dsireme]

Id like to add a little to this thread.
I guess you could say anger does have something to do with my depression and anxiety. I too suffered some abuse from my father, even though I do love him very much still. My dad is a very anxious and depressed person himself, and was VERY hard on me growing up. He never really hit me, just verbal abuse. Like, for a long time every day he would come home from work and just start ripping into me, screaming as loud as he could, like sometimes it was over something like forgetting to shut the back door when I came home, or accidentally spilling a drink etc. then he would go to his bedroom, and slam the door shut. And when he yelled, he had that look in his eyes like he was about to kill me. most of the time he had to find a reason to yell at me. Everyday I lived in fear of him. This caused me to withdraw socially. Because of this, I got picked on some, mostly because I never had a chance to learn to stand up for myself. This caused me to become even more depressed. So yea, I was very angry at the time, but my fear of my father and low self esteem kept me from letting that out, except for a few times when the stress got too extreme and I would flip out on someone so bad, I'd be hyperventilating and tearing up after. But I get more and more assertive and confident every day ever since I started going to therapy a few years back. Havn't went in a very long time though, about a year probably.

Also, someone on here said that "you cant understand depression if you havnt experienced it".
That is very true. I've had people tell me "Quit feeling sorry for yourself" or "Just stop worrying so much" or "Just start opening up to people more"
If only it was that easy.

I am so sorry this has happened to you in your life. My depression is mostly from a chemical problem from my Fibro and a smaller amount of bad things in my life. I can't even imagine what you went through. I have wonderful parents and actually I am the one that put them through hell because of my depression. My Mom says now that I am older that I have made up for it 10 times over already.

I am glad to hear you are seeing someone. Being mental it is easier to work out, but I am NOT saying it is easy because it is not.

And you are very right about the "you can't understand depression if you haven't experienced it." And everyone was different depression and you don't always understand a different kind that you don't have. I have brother that are Bi-Polar and I have no clue what they are going through.

I have been suicidal since the age of 14. I say have because I believe that you never, for a lack of words, get cured. There are the people that do it once and I don't really consider them suicidal, more just desperate and just don't know what to do. I have cut my arms and stomach up trying to get the pain out. I have over dosed and tried to drink myself to death.

There has only been 1 time in my life that I actually came close. I really don't want to die. I had an old boyfriend that killed himself 23 years ago and I think that keeps me from doing it more. But suicide is addicting. It is just so easy when things are so bad to just take a bunch of pills or cut yourself instead of trying to deal with it or realize that things will get better.

In the last 5 years I think I have tried twice. Always pills because I can throw them up. I got smart about cutting myself because that hurts for days afterwards and is very hard to hide. When I do try, I want to die and I don't. I want it to go all away but I am afraid of what happens if I do. And I don't want my son growing up with out his mother.

Sorry I dumped all this out. I guess I am hoping that someone will read it that is the same way and see that they are not alone. There are people that understand and are going through the same thing.

Again, I am very sorry you had to go through that, no one should ever have to deal with that, but there is nothing you can do about it now except try and heal from it and make sure you don't do it to anyone else and can live your life happy.

Big Hug

 

[skylonda]

Is this really the place?

brioche,
i think that many depressed people are in 'dead ends'-- jobs, marriages, etc.; they know of no way out, and that (regardless whether we talk anger, despair, sadness--whatever feeling) causes their depression.

in what way? they lose capacity to act. they feel paralyzed. all reasonable suggestions are rejected. that is what being 'depressed' is, even if a person does not feel anything. the point of any cognitive therapy is to help the person get a better view of things. to realize alternatives. to undertake the simple tasks that would help improve things; to do what can be done. and accept that that's all that can be done (e.g., if confined to a wheel chair indefinitely).

Actually, the original question was:

"is depression caused by suppressed anger"

And the answer is a resounding yes, especially if you substitute the terms internalised or anger turned inward for suppressed

In many ways the group of symptoms commonly lumped together as "depression" are almost paradoxical in how they interrelate. For example, depression can be situational, e.g. as the direct result of something that's happening now like a relationship breakup, death or job loss. It can also be the result of accumulated stresses, e.g. long term abuse, poverty or a succession of adverse events. Or, it can be a combination of both. It can also have a genetic base, so that seemingly innocuous events, or,indeed nothing apparently visible, can trigger a bout.

So it is with the relationship between anger and depression, nothing is clear cut.

For example, in some people who have suffered childhood abuse, it is not so much the abuse itself that causes anger in adult life, but the coping mechanism the child implements to protect itself misfiring in later life.

A child living in terror very quickly learns protective strategies to enable it to survive the abusive situation. If asking for basic needs provokes a hostile reaction, the child quickly learns other methods of getting what it needs. Many children in such situations learn to preempt abuse by becoming perfectionists so as to avoid criticism. They may take on domestic responsibilities far beyond normal levels, cooking, cleaning, watching over siblings etc. And a great many of them blame themselves for the abuse, after all, to a child, adults, particularly parents, can do no wrong, so, to them, it must be my fault.

Now, while these strategies are necessary to survive the abuse in childhood, they are not necessarily helpful in later life, and often lead to internalised anger and then depression.

Seeking perfection in everything you do may seem like an admirable quality, but when it becomes a necessity in adulthood, it will invariably lead to nasty side effects. Read some biographies of well known high achieving depressives such as Winston Churchill and Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame, and you'll see exactly how deleterious to mental health it becomes. Both of them, at times, resented greatly the very perfectionism that others admired. And both of them came to realise the drive toward perfection was rooted in their childhood need to avoid criticism.

Children in such situations often transfer their domestic responsibility into adulthood aften become unwilling "caretakers" for others. While not, in itself, a bad thing, couple it with a learned fear of voicing unhappiness, and you have an adult who outwardly is doing "everything" for "everybody" else, but inwardly is seething at the unfairness of constantly having to put others needs before their own. This learned survival technique can be so ingrained that the person will even refuse help and claim to be enjoying themselves, even though internally, the anger generated is destroying them via depression. Many people in such situations will seek out needy partners to fulfill their adopted personae, then spend the rest of their life resenting the hell out of their partner, turning the resentment inward, and destroying themselves in the process via the resulting depression.

And, it almost goes without saying that a child who considers itself responsible for their parents abusive behaviour and carries the internal message "I'm flawed, I'm responsible, I have no right to ask for better, I'm not OK" and the inwardly directed anger that accompanies such thoughts forward into adult life can often suffer the depressive consequences.

Similar flawed internalising can often be seen manifesting itself in anorexia, self harm and in victims of childhood abuse who seem to seem to willingly submit themselves to domestic violence in adulthood.

Please excuse my bucket of cold water, but I am new here to the forums. Is Literotica really the place to be discussing so serious a topic? I am wondering the same about the nightmares thread and others I have run across.

Both topics cover a huge amount of ground. You can't even begin to talk intelligently about someone's depression until you find what kind you are talking about. Eskimos have 20 different words for snow, but we only have one for feeling bad - depression. Are you depressed because you got a door ding today, the loss of a loved one or a buried childhood trauma?

With that out of the way - I like Pure's point of dealing with depression by changing your thinking. That would work for many people, changing negative self talk. You are what you think. Unfortunately, that's not the case with me.

Littleroundman's point about childhood coping strategies sounds like he is describing me. That's very well what could have happened in my life. Why haven't I ever heard this from a therapist?

I have always felt something in my childhood is deeply affecting me to this day. I have no memory of anything traumatic. My only clues are life long screaming nightmare's and depression. I have spent long years of intensive self examination and deeply explored spirituality. I have had a feeling I need to excise whatever it may be and drag it screaming into the light. But I have finally given up.

The times I have sought therapy, they tell me it is better to leave buried things buried. They just want to give me drugs. I sit in the office for 45 minutes and have nothing to say since I can't talk about THAT. This is supposed to be helping me.

And I am two years into a mysterious illness, I have little quality of life and no one can figure that out either. The doctors all want take the easy way out and label me mental and send me on my way.

I really didn't mean to go on like this, but since I did, there it is. So what's my point? Just sharing I guess. I have no help to offer. Perhaps depression is just my cross to bear in this life and that's the point of it all.

But I really would rather come to Literotica for a little sexual fantasy fun.

Please.

 

[Quoll]

Please excuse my bucket of cold water, but I am new here to the forums. Is Literotica really the place to be discussing so serious a topic? I am wondering the same about the nightmares thread and others I have run across.

Both topics cover a huge amount of ground. You can't even begin to talk intelligently about someone's depression until you find what kind you are talking about. Eskimos have 20 different words for snow, but we only have one for feeling bad - depression. Are you depressed because you got a door ding today, the loss of a loved one or a buried childhood trauma?

With that out of the way - I like Pure's point of dealing with depression by changing your thinking. That would work for many people, changing negative self talk. You are what you think. Unfortunately, that's not the case with me.

Littleroundman's point about childhood coping strategies sounds like he is describing me. That's very well what could have happened in my life. Why haven't I ever heard this from a therapist?

I have always felt something in my childhood is deeply affecting me to this day. I have no memory of anything traumatic. My only clues are life long screaming nightmare's and depression. I have spent long years of intensive self examination and deeply explored spirituality. I have had a feeling I need to excise whatever it may be and drag it screaming into the light. But I have finally given up.

The times I have sought therapy, they tell me it is better to leave buried things buried. They just want to give me drugs. I sit in the office for 45 minutes and have nothing to say since I can't talk about THAT. This is supposed to be helping me.

And I am two years into a mysterious illness, I have little quality of life and no one can figure that out either. The doctors all want take the easy way out and label me mental and send me on my way.

I really didn't mean to go on like this, but since I did, there it is. So what's my point? Just sharing I guess. I have no help to offer. Perhaps depression is just my cross to bear in this life and that's the point of it all.

But I really would rather come to Literotica for a little sexual fantasy fun.

Please.

It turns out that yes Lit is the place, yes to some it's just a "porn" board and there's certainly plenty of that around.

To others it is a community of friends, a storehouse of knowledge, a place to talk about pretty much anything* without being censored.

Sometimes people need to unload in a place with like minded people, (like you did) it's nice to know that you will be understood.

I understand your doubts, I had them too when I first joined, if you are still here in a few months it would be great to know your impressions of the place then *resistance is futile*.

If you look in the HT Cafe forum you will see a lot of different things being discussed, several self help threads, and even some sex talk.

Gil started the Abuse thread to help one person, to say that it has exceeded expectations is an understatement.

One thread that contains a lot of information and support on depression anxiety etc is in the HT Cafe, you may find some interesting stuff in it.


Welcome to lit.

*Within the rules of course.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Please excuse my bucket of cold water, but I am new here to the forums. Is Literotica really the place to be discussing so serious a topic? I am wondering the same about the nightmares thread and others I have run across.

Nobody here pretends to be an expert on anything. Lit is a community though and anywhere you have found friendship, you will eventually share problems you are having. One of the best and most valuable things about the thoughts shared and advice given here, is that people always get a broad range of opinions and responses. Many find that more enlightening than a single opinion from any one person, no matter how qualified they may be to comment.

Both topics cover a huge amount of ground. You can't even begin to talk intelligently about someone's depression until you find what kind you are talking about. Eskimos have 20 different words for snow, but we only have one for feeling bad - depression. Are you depressed because you got a door ding today, the loss of a loved one or a buried childhood trauma?

Nobody seeks advice here and expects to have all their problems solved. There is something to be said though, for having a place where one can talk, question and vent if necessary, in total anonymity and know that everything is superlatively confidential as a result.

Lit is predominantly about sex but sex, relationships and general emotional wellbeing all overlap. When a person is in a relationship, any kind of trauma or depression impacts negatively on the relationship in some way and the intimacy and sexual contact between them suffers accordingly. People come here with complex issues that they wouldn't dream of taking to a friend or relative and we all talk and share anything positive that we can. Granted, every forum has its trolls and morons but by and large, we are all adults with varying levels of knowledge and experience, some of which may be relevant to the thread starter.

With that out of the way - I like Pure's point of dealing with depression by changing your thinking. That would work for many people, changing negative self talk. You are what you think. Unfortunately, that's not the case with me.

Littleroundman's point about childhood coping strategies sounds like he is describing me. That's very well what could have happened in my life. Why haven't I ever heard this from a therapist?

Even on this one thread, you have read and gleaned something useful and valuable to you. That's all we ever do here. You take what is relevant to your situation and discard the rest.

I have always felt something in my childhood is deeply affecting me to this day. I have no memory of anything traumatic. My only clues are life long screaming nightmare's and depression. I have spent long years of intensive self examination and deeply explored spirituality. I have had a feeling I need to excise whatever it may be and drag it screaming into the light. But I have finally given up.

The times I have sought therapy, they tell me it is better to leave buried things buried. They just want to give me drugs. I sit in the office for 45 minutes and have nothing to say since I can't talk about THAT. This is supposed to be helping me.

And I am two years into a mysterious illness, I have little quality of life and no one can figure that out either. The doctors all want take the easy way out and label me mental and send me on my way.

I really didn't mean to go on like this, but since I did, there it is. So what's my point? Just sharing I guess. I have no help to offer. Perhaps depression is just my cross to bear in this life and that's the point of it all.

I'm sorry to hear that. It does sound like you are not getting the kind of therapy you need. Therapy is a highly personal thing and when people suggest seeking help or indicate that they plan to get professional counselling of any kind, we always say that the chances of meeting a therapist you connect with and want to open up to right off the bat are slim. There's nothing wrong with shopping around and talking to different people until you find the right one for you to build trust with and eventually open up to.

But I really would rather come to Literotica for a little sexual fantasy fun.

Please.

That's your choice and you're entitled to your preference but equally, you chose to post here knowing that people would respond. If you just want light hearted sexual chat then it's not difficult to avoid threads like these. You chose to dig up and old one and draw attention to it while simultaneously talking about your own problems and saying that talking on a site like this about depression is a bad idea.

We're all adults. We all have choices. Lit has a minimum of censorship and is passionately devoted to free speech. There is no way of preventing people from talking about their mental, emotional or other problems here. The choice you have is whether to read along and maybe share any insight you have, or leave these threads alone and go your merry way looking for light hearted banter.

 

[SusyQ]

I feel that correct diet,exercise,and talking about the situation helps more that pills.Pills mask the problem they do not fix it.I am just trying to understand for my wifes sake as I have not experienced anything that I could not snap out of in a timely manner.

While diet, exercise and talk therapy can all be helpful, many people with major depression need medication, at least for a little while. I completely disagree with you that "pills mask the problem." Most antidepressants work by increasing the amount of available serotonin in the brain. Serotonin is a chemical that is necessary for nerve impulses to be transmitted through the brain. Lower levels of serotonin are associated with depression -- although there's something of a chicken/egg debate about causation, raising available serotonin helps with depression in the majority of cases.

If what you said was true, that pills mask the problem and just make people artificially happy, then taking higher doses of antidepressants would make people happier than lower doses, right? But that doesn't happen -- instead, people develop something called serotonin syndrome, which makes them feel terrible.

Antidepressants aren't like cocaine (that's a different neurotransmitter). They're designed to address a deficiency in the brain that's already present. It's like a diabetic taking insulin to make up for the fact that his body doesn't make enough. If your wife was a diabetic, yes, diet, exercise and decreasing her stress level would definitely help her condition. However, in most cases, it wouldn't get rid of the diabetes all together.

You said you'd never experienced anything like this before. I think it's great that you're trying to understand it and be supportive. You may want to rethink your stance on medication, though. If your wife needs it, she needs it, and all the talking in the world isn't going to change that. What often happens is that people take the meds for a short period of time, which allows them to benefit from the talk therapy, and then are able to stop.

 

[SusyQ]

Why wouldn't they use Adderall to cure seratonin,and dopamine.I have adult add,
I am not hyperactive,but a 30mg adderrall a day keeps me on task(instead of sometimes procrastinating about things)I can fel in the short time the dr has had me on them,I can feel a mood elevating feeling,and I tend to be on target in everything I do.It helps me with keeping all by business dealing on target and I can actually keep everything in order.I may not have depression,but I can't keep shit straight,or I couldn't keep shit straight without them at the level of business that I do.I am constantly on the phone or nextel radio most of the day,or meeting with someone in a business deal,where I used to tend to let my mind wander.If folks with a chemical imbalance needed an elevated level of dopamine or seretonin why wouldn't a low level adderall say 10mg extended release for all day.I am on the 30xr.I have add so the amphetemine does not make me speedy,but I feel a definate elevated mood.I have been able to eat right I have steadily lose weight,and quit smoking.My cholesterol was ar 290 a year ago,now I am at 155 total cholesterol.I lost thirty pounds before the adderall I still eat regular meals,it helps me with my ability not to over eat.I am sleeping better(I used to binge eat at night)I sleep through the night.But I wonder if adderall would help folks with depression or anxiety,or would it make it worse?I have never been really depressed for more than a day or two(at any point in my 43 years),I have no problems in social situations.I can get in front of a large room of people 350-500,and actually get a little anxious speaking to smaller groups of say 12-15 because the setting is more intimate when addressing a small group.so I have never been depressed like my wife gets sometimes and it builds over a period of a week or so and is also usually with pms time but can last into her cycle so it can effect her when she ovulates and just before she starts her period, when she usually "gets as horny as a three dick billygoat"at these two times usually.

Adderall will absolutely make anxiety worse. It works on dopamine (that different neurotransmitter I mentioned above in regard to cocaine). For you, because your brain doesn't make enough dopamine, it works great without making you speedy or giving you a huge drop off afterward. For someone whose brain does make enough dopamine, they might feel better right away (that's why people use coke and meth) but the end result would be increased anxiety and depression.

If someone doesn't have ADD but takes Adderall on a regular basis, they'll develop a tolerance to it and have to keep increasing the dose to feel the same. This can happen really quickly and, eventually, their brain makes much less dopamine itself to try and even things out. So dependence is a real danger. I take Adderall, too, but I can go days without it (I don't much like to take it, actually) if I'm willing to go back to being disorganized, which is another sign that Adderall is an appropriate medication for me. I know people who've taken Adderall for inappropriate reasons (to feel good, to stay awake longer, to be more productive) and they've all gotten to the point where they HAD to have it to feel even decent.

That having been said, Adderall is sometimes used to treat depression in elderly people when nothing else has worked or other medications can't be used. For younger people, though, it's like trying to hammer with a wrench -- ya, you may get the nail in, but there's a much better and safer tool to get the job done.