The AH Coffee Shop and Reading Room 09

What is the lowest-stakes half-baked theory people believe?
It's not exactly lowest stakes but it's definitely half-baked.

I have a belief, or more like a nagging suspicion, that the fact that United States lags behind other developed countries by many metrics (life expectancy, mental health, driving safety, etc.) is related to how the dwellings there are built.

By and large, American homes are low quality compared to European ones. Bricks are rarely used; the bulk of house construction is wooden layers filled with mineral wool; windows are typically single-glazed and don't use rubber around their frames; front doors often have large glass panes; and so on. All of this ricketiness creates a subconscious feeling of inadequate protection from the elements outside.

These low-quality construction materials also don't provide enough privacy, and as a result sound leakage from neighbors is extremely widespread (to the point that it, and the expectation of it, is part of pop-culture). The noise levels are also exacerbated by the active nature of heating used (HVAC), which turns on and off at unpredictable times, and this adds to the constantly varying levels of noise in most American houses.

Those two factors -- sense of inadequate protection and shifting levels of noise associated with invasion on privacy -- leads to constant, low-level stress that negatively affects other areas of people's life. They get sick more, they drive less safely and cause more accidents, the strain has detrimental effects on their mental health, etc. These aren't the sole or even main causes, of course, but they definitely contribute.
 
What is the lowest-stakes half-baked theory people believe? I have two. One is that most American microbrewed IPAs have the overhopped flavor profiles they do because so many of the people running them are high all the time and need the overstrength flavors to feel something.
A lot of people feel like they're not proper grown ups even late into life. The reason is that our idea of what a grown up is was formed when we were like 2. When our parents were literally magical gods who could do anything.

As we got older, we learned that our parents weren't magical. The subconscious idea of what it means to be a grown up, a functional human, is still partially stuck back at 2-year-old-looking-at-gods mode though. So we feel inadequate to that idea.

Worry less, everyone is winging it, no one has it totally figured out. The ones who think they do are either delusional, or have discovered that figuring it out means realizing you don't need to. We live on a spinning orb revolving around a huge fireball, we need to breathe a toxic corrosive gas to live, we worry mostly about abstract numbers or pieces of green paper. Nothing makes sense - that's being a human.

Or so I believe.

Not that I've managed to stop worrying about it myself... Yet
 
I see now why that 100 vote threshold is so important. Now that I know what the leaderboards are, I see how the category I'm in puts pressure on my score that I can feel. Once I hit 100 votes in First Time, it would be tough for the score to go above 4.85.

I think I learned more from this Holiday contest than anything else I've done so far.
 
Achy but alive so I guess I can't complain. I'll be making an appointment to get another gel shot tomorrow when the office opens. My blood pressure is trending down now that I'm off the Meloxicam. It's a good thing I have my writing to keep me going.

There's a fresh pot of coffee brewing and the teapot is hot. @sirhugs - There is a pot of hot chocolate on the back burner keeping warm. There's whipped cream and mini-marshmallows if you want to amend it. There are donuts and cute Christmas sugar cookies (wreaths, Christmas trees, snowmen, etc.) on the counter. There's still some cornbread. Don't forget the Jameson is in the cupboard next to the 'fridge.

I'll be over in the corner working on my story. I see there are presents starting to show up under the tree. I saw one for @MillieDynamite that looks suspiciously like a bottle wrapped up with a bow on it ...
 
Hit a brick wall. I just finished a gentle scene with the FMC teaching a newcomer the sapphic ways, "Is this like learning how to dance?" despite pressure from an authority-figure male to perform for him. Yet when the next scene comes for the young woman in her first time with the kind and caring MMC she was pining for... I'm stuck.

I'll give it a rest. Finishing this one isn't under any deadline, there are two ahead of in the series, anyway.
 
The Christmas tree is decorated in time for us to go into a not-Christmassy warming trend. I'm watching the weather projections because I want it to hold through early next Monday when I'm scheduled to take my truck into the dealer for too much deferred maintenance.
 
Ugh I am so not ready for Christmas season. I'm not Scrooge or anything but I'm not Christian, don't have a lot of money, and I'm on shaky ground with most of my extended family.

So its like...here's a whole month+ dedicated to a religious holiday you dont celebrate! But you can still feel pressured to spend too much money on gifts for people and pretend its a secular holiday! Also we will give you extra time off - so people you dont actually like can guilt trip you into not traveling to come see them! And if you do go see them they will continue to treat you poorly in the same ways they always do, and then blame YOU for ruining the holiday get together if you get mad!

Its just...not my thing.
 
Ugh I am so not ready for Christmas season. I'm not Scrooge or anything but I'm not Christian, don't have a lot of money, and I'm on shaky ground with most of my extended family.

So its like...here's a whole month+ dedicated to a religious holiday you dont celebrate! But you can still feel pressured to spend too much money on gifts for people and pretend its a secular holiday! Also we will give you extra time off - so people you dont actually like can guilt trip you into not traveling to come see them! And if you do go see them they will continue to treat you poorly in the same ways they always do, and then blame YOU for ruining the holiday get together if you get mad!

Its just...not my thing.
What would the downsides of going fully no contact with these people be?
 
It's not exactly lowest stakes but it's definitely half-baked.

I have a belief, or more like a nagging suspicion, that the fact that United States lags behind other developed countries by many metrics (life expectancy, mental health, driving safety, etc.) is related to how the dwellings there are built.

By and large, American homes are low quality compared to European ones. Bricks are rarely used; the bulk of house construction is wooden layers filled with mineral wool; windows are typically single-glazed and don't use rubber around their frames; front doors often have large glass panes; and so on. All of this ricketiness creates a subconscious feeling of inadequate protection from the elements outside.

These low-quality construction materials also don't provide enough privacy, and as a result sound leakage from neighbors is extremely widespread (to the point that it, and the expectation of it, is part of pop-culture). The noise levels are also exacerbated by the active nature of heating used (HVAC), which turns on and off at unpredictable times, and this adds to the constantly varying levels of noise in most American houses.

Those two factors -- sense of inadequate protection and shifting levels of noise associated with invasion on privacy -- leads to constant, low-level stress that negatively affects other areas of people's life. They get sick more, they drive less safely and cause more accidents, the strain has detrimental effects on their mental health, etc. These aren't the sole or even main causes, of course, but they definitely contribute.
This comment wins this morning's pompous ass award. 🤣
Congratulations.
 
My walls are a foot thick. 8" concrete block plus 3" of foam core insulation, plus vinyl siding outside and drywall inside.

Windows are double pane thermal with Low-E coatings.

Yes, it's close to 70 years old and I've added a lot of that since I got here.


Most new construction homes now use 2x6" (at least) walls plus insulation and finishes with double or triple pane thermal windows.
 
Here's my low-stakes conspiracy theory that I fully, 100% believe and am way too invested in: in 60 BC Cicero lied about the order of the speeches he'd given in 63, the year of his consulship, and that deliberately incorrect sequencing has permeated Latin and rhetoric education and Roman history for the last two thousand years, with actual consequences for the way we view Cicero, Cato the Younger and Julius Caesar.
 
So its like...here's a whole month+ dedicated to a religious holiday you dont celebrate!

My wife and I are here to commiserate with you about the total takeover of 10+% of the calendar by the end-of-year holiday season and its trappings. We have to set aside things we like and/or need to do because of traffic, crowds, events, and whatever, all in the name of whatever everybody's distortion of the occurrence of the winter solstice means to them.

Difference 'tween us and you is we have no family to speak of. No pressure to do anything or be anywhere, just annoyance that all the restaurants including the Chinese eateries in our area are closed for the day.

Confessional footnote - as an orchestral musician, Christmas concerts are a fact-of-life, and to some, justify our existence. This next week I have to schlep percussion equipment between venues in the wake of three concerts, of which I'm only a participant in one. I have worked hard to reduce this from committing to four each season. One more interpretation of Jingle Bells or Carol of the Bells and I think I'm going to go mad. I take considerable solace in having performed this:

 
Sadly I watched the camera on the side taking pounding, die in a fiery inferno. All white smoke and steam, a flash of molten red, and after, Transmission Lost. The sun was still shinning there when it happened but it was dark here. Sometime between 7:00 or 7:30.
No, pretty fucking HOT! ...sheesh...

I look at major eruptions like that as the earth turning itself inside out. Anybody wanna take bets on how long before the camera gets eaten by it?
 
What would the downsides of going fully no contact with these people be?
I've considered it.
My mom has early onset dementia and my sister has cut off contact with her. I'm basically biding my time until she forgets who I am.
Not sure what to do about sis - she's a conservative Catholic, so lets just say she and I...don't have much in common. But she also just had a baby. I hate to pass the feud along to another generation.
 
I've considered it.
My mom has early onset dementia and my sister has cut off contact with her. I'm basically biding my time until she forgets who I am.
Not sure what to do about sis - she's a conservative Catholic, so lets just say she and I...don't have much in common. But she also just had a baby. I hate to pass the feud along to another generation.
Well, I know some people with toxic family don't cut off contact so that they can be a safe space for younger relatives. If that's not a consideration for you, then it might be time to think about what's best for you and those living with you.

Also, low contact is a thing as well.

Either way, try to make it your choice, don't let them guilt you into stuff, and if you can leave when it becomes too much.
 
Ugh I am so not ready for Christmas season. I'm not Scrooge or anything but I'm not Christian, don't have a lot of money, and I'm on shaky ground with most of my extended family.

So its like...here's a whole month+ dedicated to a religious holiday you dont celebrate! But you can still feel pressured to spend too much money on gifts for people and pretend its a secular holiday! Also we will give you extra time off - so people you dont actually like can guilt trip you into not traveling to come see them! And if you do go see them they will continue to treat you poorly in the same ways they always do, and then blame YOU for ruining the holiday get together if you get mad!

Its just...not my thing.
Not mine either. Now that I don't drive, I don't see/hear as much of the holiday stuff. I do wonder why so many people go wild buying gifts they can't afford for people who won't appreciate them. Let's just skip over to the middle of January.
 
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