Comments that leave you shaking your head

[PennyThompson]

I guess I'm a lonely person in that regard.

i still like you even if i think you're wrong

i also don't think it's something worth arguing about too strongly, it's just a difference in author philosophy exacerbated by the limitations of the platform. And something that may be remedied if and when the new story cards interface is released!

 

[Fatdog25]

I asked if there was a way BEFORE you opened the story. That is once you are on the story page already.

As I said on the previous post, almost no reader is going to click on something else when they can just start reading.

If the new story cards ever become generally available where you see tags BEFORE opening the story, tags become much more interesting.

There is, after a fashion.

Tags are available from the story cards on the author's list of works on their profile page. Since brand new stories don't appear on that list until the following day(s), you won't see them for those stories. For everything else, if the author included them, they should be there.

Open any story (yours or someone else's). I did this from my Works page.
Click/tap on the "A" (font options).
Story card options are down toward the bottom.
Choose "Expanded."
When you open your profile page, you should see the tags for each story available.

This feature was in beta for quite a while. When Manu did the update, it reset my setting and that's how I figured out how to do this.

EDIT: I did check a chapter of a current series and the tags did not appear on the author's work page, although they were included in the story.

 

[iwatchus]

I had had those for a while and then they went away again. Thanks for the tip!

I still want them on the new stories in the category page, which was my most common way of finding stories as a reader.

These days I mostly read stories from author's I follow or ones I see recommended in AH.

 

[NuclearFairy]

I guess I'm a lonely person in that regard.

No I do it too, have since the third time I was reading a story that had no hints at girl on girl, only to bam have girl on girl. I've been checking the tags since reading ever since.

 

[NuclearFairy]

No I do it too, have since the third time I was reading a story that had no hints at girl on girl, only to bam have girl on girl. I've been checking the tags since reading ever since.

To clarify, I don't dislike lesbian stories, but when I'm good and aroused and then it suddenly switches to a kind of sex I can't get off to and pretty much stays there... I'd rather spend my alone time with something that will keep the focus at least for the most part on something I can get off to. So I learned early to look at the tags.

 

[Actingup]

Thank you! If you like it, and like Scout, several of my earlier stories also feature them. They're all fairly stand-alone, but they do have continuity between them!

@designatedvictim there's also a Scout story here if you're collecting the complete set. One of the awkward things about multi-author collaborations is that it's hard for a character to slip into somebody else's story and have that as part of their development arc.

Although, I guess it could also be argued that a feature of the current setup is that a character can slip into another story and not be tracked by the readers! Let Scout choose whether they want to highlight the adventure on their LinkedIn profile...

(Incidentally, I've decided not to feature my stories on my LinkedIn profile...)

 

[PennyThompson]

@designatedvictim there's also a Scout story here if you're collecting the complete set. One of the awkward things about multi-author collaborations is that it's hard for a character to slip into somebody else's story and have that as part of their development arc.

Although, I guess it could also be argued that a feature of the current setup is that a character can slip into another story and not be tracked by the readers! Let Scout choose whether they want to highlight the adventure on their LinkedIn profile...

(Incidentally, I've decided not to feature my stories on my LinkedIn profile...)

What happens at LitCon stays at LitCon! Especially when @EmilyMiller turns the conference hotel into a demonic pocket dimension and turns me into an existentially confused author/character...

 

[designatedvictim]

@designatedvictim there's also a Scout story here if you're collecting the complete set. One of the awkward things about multi-author collaborations is that it's hard for a character to slip into somebody else's story and have that as part of their development arc.

Although, I guess it could also be argued that a feature of the current setup is that a character can slip into another story and not be tracked by the readers! Let Scout choose whether they want to highlight the adventure on their LinkedIn profile...

(Incidentally, I've decided not to feature my stories on my LinkedIn profile...)

I haven't started my collection yet (other than Opposite). But I plan to.

I laughed out loud at 'like I've touched a petite blonde t*******a'

 

[EmilyMiller]

What happens at LitCon stays at LitCon! Especially when @EmilyMiller turns the conference hotel into a demonic pocket dimension and turns me into an existentially confused author/character...

Moi ?

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Ok, here's the deal with disclaimers.

If you're writing porn, they're fine because porn readers want to know exactly what they're about to read to make sure that it matches their kinks/fantasies as close as possible. They don't want your story, they want you to recite their kink back to them, so spoilers are good. So tell them up front what exactly what they will be getting and you will score well because that's what the pre-amble is for and that is what porn is for - to score well.

If you're writing an actual story, don't use a disclaimer. There are people out there who genuinely want to read your story and those people don't want a spoiler. The title, description and tags will be good enough. These readers will know by the first page or two whether they want to continue. Don't worry about it. If you put a disclaimer, you risk spoiling. This is also just protecting the score, not much more than that, because what you are doing is filtering out the porn readers. Why would you do this? Don't kid yourself that it's some sort of a service to them. That's a lie that your ego tells you. It's you worried about them damaging your score.

There is nothing more pretentious than a disclaimer at the top of a story. This is different than a back cover blurb which you could put at the top, but NOBODY does that. I've never seen one. it's always a disclaimer. Here are some examples and you can see the difference.

This one is what I wrote for a blurb for my work in progress, since it will be a 7 chapter series there is a spot for a series blurb.

When the ugly duckling Tara has been picked on and tormented for years, there is only one thing for her to do once the butterfly emerges from the cocoon: get revenge. Four nasty girls, Kylie, Paige, Lacy and Beth - the intimidating clique of royalty at 'Hardon High' - have four boyfriends, Wade, Mario, Trey and Dallas, and Tara has a bullseye scope set on each one as she and her new terror twin friend Cheye break all the rules to wreak havoc among the school's social order - because they can.

This lets the reader know generally what the story is about and even it's tone, but gives no spoilers. This is good. We would like to see stuff like this but ... we never ever see stuff like this at the top of a story.

Instead we see stuff like this.

Thank you for clicking on my story. This story contains elements of BDSM, anal and group sex including some male-on-male and a character who is bi-polar. If any of this bothers you, click the back button now. I put a lot of sweat into this. Please enjoy.

This is 100% protecting the score. What's worse, it's so fucking pretentious. It's a terrible first impression. All of those warnings can just be in tags. Also, it's super defensive. What the writer is saying is. "I want to choose who reads this but I can't so if you're going to downvote me, fuck off right now! If you don't agree with me, you're not good enough to read my work!" Could the writer's nose be any higher in the air? Then the remark about the writer's effort is such an eyeroll. We don't care. We're just going to read it (or not). When we go to the movies do we say, "it wasn't very good but hey, they had no budget and an amateur cast, so yay thumbs up!" No, we say, "points for trying with low budget but I can't really recommend this poorly made movie." This comment is trying cultivate a better score. It says, "Don't judge me ... unless you like it, then judge me good all you like!" It also says, "There might be flaws in this but you should like it anyway because I worked hard, so reward my effort!" So it's apologizing for any flaws up front. This writer is not writing this story primarily for our enjoyment. This writer is writing primarily for our approval. Oh, we should be so fucking grateful! (eyeroll) That's a disappointment right off the top and we haven't even read a word of the story yet.

So any way that you look at it, these disclaimers are just a means to protect the score, rarely anything barely more than that.

Cue the responses, well I write disclaimers and mine aren't about any of that at all. Oh, yes they are.

I've hung out with chefs, truckers, musicians, you name it. Writers have the biggest egos, hands down. Even bigger than the musicians. I'm just sayin'.

 

[YmaOHyd]

 

[PennyThompson]

Ok, here's the deal with disclaimers.

If you're writing porn, they're fine because porn readers want to know exactly what they're about to read to make sure that it matches their kinks/fantasies as close as possible. They don't want your story, they want you to recite their kink back to them, so spoilers are good. So tell them up front what exactly what they will be getting and you will score well because that's what the pre-amble is for and that is what porn is for - to score well.

If you're writing an actual story, don't use a disclaimer. There are people out there who genuinely want to read your story and those people don't want a spoiler. The title, description and tags will be good enough. These readers will know by the first page or two whether they want to continue. Don't worry about it. If you put a disclaimer, you risk spoiling. This is also just protecting the score, not much more than that, because what you are doing is filtering out the porn readers. Why would you do this? Don't kid yourself that it's some sort of a service to them. That's a lie that your ego tells you. It's you worried about them damaging your score.

There is nothing more pretentious than a disclaimer at the top of a story. This is different than a back cover blurb which you could put at the top, but NOBODY does that. I've never seen one. it's always a disclaimer. Here are some examples and you can see the difference.

This one is what I wrote for a blurb for my work in progress, since it will be a 7 chapter series there is a spot for a series blurb.

When the ugly duckling Tara has been picked on and tormented for years, there is only one thing for her to do once the butterfly emerges from the cocoon: get revenge. Four nasty girls, Kylie, Paige, Lacy and Beth - the intimidating clique of royalty at 'Hardon High' - have four boyfriends, Wade, Mario, Trey and Dallas, and Tara has a bullseye scope set on each one as she and her new terror twin friend Cheye break all the rules to wreak havoc among the school's social order - because they can.

This lets the reader know generally what the story is about and even it's tone, but gives no spoilers. This is good. We would like to see stuff like this but ... we never ever see stuff like this at the top of a story.

Instead we see stuff like this.

Thank you for clicking on my story. This story contains elements of BDSM, anal and group sex including some male-on-male and a character who is bi-polar. If any of this bothers you, click the back button now. I put a lot of sweat into this. Please enjoy.

This is 100% protecting the score. What's worse, it's so fucking pretentious. It's a terrible first impression. All of those warnings can just be in tags. Also, it's super defensive. What the writer is saying is. "I want to choose who reads this but I can't so if you're going to downvote me, fuck off right now! If you don't agree with me, you're not good enough to read my work!" Could the writer's nose be any higher in the air? Then the remark about the writer's effort is such an eyeroll. We don't care. We're just going to read it (or not). When we go to the movies do we say, "it wasn't very good but hey, they had no budget and an amateur cast, so yay thumbs up!" No, we say, "points for trying with low budget but I can't really recommend this poorly made movie." This comment is trying cultivate a better score. It says, "Don't judge me ... unless you like it, then judge me good all you like!" It also says, "There might be flaws in this but you should like it anyway because I worked hard, so reward my effort!" So it's apologizing for any flaws up front. This writer is not writing this story primarily for our enjoyment. This writer is writing primarily for our approval. Oh, we should be so fucking grateful! (eyeroll) That's a disappointment right off the top and we haven't even read a word of the story yet.

So any way that you look at it, these disclaimers are just a means to protect the score, rarely anything barely more than that.

Cue the responses, well I write disclaimers and mine aren't about any of that at all. Oh, yes they are.

I've hung out with chefs, truckers, musicians, you name it. Writers have the biggest egos, hands down. Even bigger than the musicians. I'm just sayin'.

i was so close to writing a big ol' response... but then i remembered that I already did this back in my first month of posting on AH, accidentally started a big fight, discovered how fraught the opinions on this issue were, and eventually figured out a solution that I was happy with and continue using to this day

 

[dirk2024]

This one is what I wrote for a blurb for my work in progress, since it will be a 7 chapter series there is a spot for a series blurb.

When the ugly duckling Tara has been picked on and tormented for years, there is only one thing for her to do once the butterfly emerges from the cocoon: get revenge. Four nasty girls, Kylie, Paige, Lacy and Beth - the intimidating clique of royalty at 'Hardon High' - have four boyfriends, Wade, Mario, Trey and Dallas, and Tara has a bullseye scope set on each one as she and her new terror twin friend Cheye break all the rules to wreak havoc among the school's social order - because they can.

This lets the reader know generally what the story is about and even it's tone, but gives no spoilers. This is good. We would like to see stuff like this but ... we never ever see stuff like this at the top of a story.

I like this. It's essentially an extended tagline, which has received complaints in here that the current 60 character limit is too small.

 

[YmaOHyd]

I like this. It's essentially an extended tagline, which has received complaints in here that the current 60 character limit is too small.

It's only possible using the Series option, and it only makes sense for series or chaptered stories. The reason we don't see it at the top of stories is that there's very little point in writing a back-cover blurb for a short story (which is why short story anthologies don't have them). The point of the disclaimer is to tell people what they're buying at the pornography store, because for all the pretenses we have as writers -- and I have a lot of 'em and a big ol' fuckin' ego to boot -- we are peddling our wares here at Laurel and Manu's Porno Hut. If you want to sell not-pornography, you need to be very clear with your audience that your product may not be what they're here to consume.

 

[dirk2024]

It's only possible using the Series option, and it only makes sense for series or chaptered stories. The reason we don't see it at the top of stories is that there's very little point in writing a back-cover blurb for a ten-thousand-word short story (which is why short story anthologies don't have them). The point of the disclaimer is to tell people what they're buying at the pornography store, because for all the pretenses we have as writers -- and I have a lot of 'em and a big ol' fuckin' ego to boot -- we are peddling our wares here at Laurel and Manu's Porno Hut. If you want to sell not-pornography, you need to be very clear with your audience that your product may not be what they're here to consume.

It could sit in place of a disclaimer.

 

[YmaOHyd]

It could sit in place of a disclaimer.

The two serve different functions; they're not interchangeable.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I like this. It's essentially an extended tagline, which has received complaints in here that the current 60 character limit is too small.

That's exactly what it is because yes the tagline 60 chars is far too small. We're not asking for a bible, just you know, 200-300 char. No big whoop. But we can't have it.

It's only possible using the Series option, and it only makes sense for series or chaptered stories.

Why would it not make sense for a 15-20k standalone story?

The reason we don't see it at the top of stories is that there's very little point in writing a back-cover blurb for a short story (which is why short story anthologies don't have them).

Not true. The reason that we don't have them is because writers never think to put them in.

The point of the disclaimer is to tell people what they're buying at the pornography store, because for all the pretenses we have as writers -- and I have a lot of 'em and a big ol' fuckin' ego to boot -- we are peddling our wares here at Laurel and Manu's Porno Hut. If you want to sell not-pornography, you need to be very clear with your audience that your product may not be what they're here to consume.

Exactly. To protect the score and the comments. But know that a disclaimer is different than a blurb. Disclaimers are everywhere but blurbs don't seem to exist.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

The two serve different functions; they're not interchangeable.

Agree 100%.

 

[Katie_Mae]

...exacerbated by the limitations of the platform.

I've started writing/reading on a different site, and it's really made apparent how limiting lit's platform is in some ways.
Eg on this platform a story is a story, and it can contain chapters, but it shows as a single story. You get a blurb (which can show up prior to you clicking on a story, unlike here where it's buried), you get story and chapter notes, where people often put things like disclaimers or explanations etc, you get tags and separate content warnings.

There's no ratings in the way lit has, so stories don't get scores as such. But it really helps connect readers with the story they want to read (eg, because there's separate tag functions, you can search for the kind of story you want, while excluding stories with certain content warnings from your result)

Most of the stats are viewable only to the author and, unlike the rating system here, are actually useful (eg views vs completed reads, reader demographics etc)

The features aren't perfect by any means, and I'm not suggesting all of them are necessary here, but it did prompt me to think just how limiting the features here can be. Especially for long stories.

 

[iwatchus]

(Incidentally, I've decided not to feature my stories on my LinkedIn profile...)

But you might have gotten your dream job earlier! Think of all the new friends you could meet at your new job!

(Including maybe a long discussion with HR)

 

[Publius68]

My only GS story features a threesome and it has scored 4.8, so I’d say three is enough.

>2 = Group.

 

[TheLobster]

(Including maybe a long discussion with HR)

"Sir, our company values explicitly include the Oxford comma. Please rectify your wanton disregard of this principle immediately."

 

[calmlikeabomb]

I got this on one The First Mating. I appreciate the sentiment, but.... Huh?

Trance-like in its incantations to move, to thrust, to possess. Very powerful. Desire incarnate, desire fulfilled for now, til the need rises up again

 

[calmlikeabomb]

His "lol" really makes it the perfect confidently incorrect example.

Ask him if he knows the correct ignition timing be on a 1955 Chevy Belair with a 327 engine and a 4-barrel carb.

I understood that reference.jpeg

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I'm always stunned when an 'expert' reader 'corrects' a detail in your piece which you know is a fact.

From one tale involving some aspects of a car:

Great story, just that a 1973 Porsche 911 doesn’t have a timing chain. Lol

And of course, anyone who's worked on this car knows it not only has one, but two of them (and they're outrageously long.)

Off topic but when the plot bunnies strike...