The Un-Isolated Un-Blurt Thread

[TwinkleStars]

Magic Penis:

A businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, ' Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except... The Magic Penis!'

The husband said, 'The what'?

The man repeated, 'The Magic Penis,' and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo.

The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo!'

The man then pointed to the door and said, ' Magic Penis, door!'

The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding away at the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much so, that a crack began to form down the middle. Then the man said, 'Magic Penis, return to box!' and the penis stopped and returned to the box.

The husband bought it and took it home to his wife.

After the husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Magic Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said 'Magic Penis, my vagina.'

The penis shot to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off so she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the closest hospital.

On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A Police Officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.

Gasping and twitching, the woman said, 'I haven't had anything to drink officer. You see, I've got this Magic Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me.'

The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and replied, 'Yeah right... Magic Penis, my ass...!!!!!!!!!!'

The rest, as they say, is history...

 

[TwinkleStars]

Did you hear about the woman who dressed up as a police officer for Halloween?
She told her boyfriend he was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed, but after two minutes the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

 

[TwinkleStars]

 

[TwinkleStars]

 

[TwinkleStars]

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[TwinkleStars]

 

[TwinkleStars]

How to get family to finally show up for the holidays.

Thanksgiving Divorce

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."​

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[TwinkleStars]

To ignore or not ignore.

Are you weak because you have used ignore? Are you a stronger mentally because you haven't used ignore? If the option is available and you value your way of life, do you ignore or don't hit ignore?

I really want to hit ignore on anything I deem not worth my time because the option is available. If it is not then I do my best to avoid it or simply ignore it mentally.

Do I do what's right for me? Fucking take it up the ass? What makes someone mentally, emotionally and intellectually strong online? Using the ignore/block feature or not using it?

 

[butters]

To ignore or not ignore.

Are you weak because you have used ignore? Are you a stronger mentally because you haven't used ignore? If the option is available and you value your way of life, do you ignore or don't hit ignore?

I really want to hit ignore on anything I deem not worth my time because the option is available. If it is not then I do my best to avoid it or simply ignore it mentally.

Do I do what's right for me? Fucking take it up the ass? What makes someone mentally, emotionally and intellectually strong online? Using the ignore/block feature or not using it?

well, guess I can't make the call about it being stronger to not ignore... all I know is I give the fools so much rope and then, when simply the act of seeing them post is a waste of my limited time, the ignore button comes to bear. Both of us have been here many years, Twinkle, and know the fools I speak of and just how repetitive they become over time. When they have zero to offer me in getting me to think about what they've posted, then to read them is a waste. I'd sooner be reading more interesting minds, nicer people, kinder souls, more intellectually witty posters. Plus it gives me wrist ache keep having to scroll past masses and masses of those fuckers I don't read, so I dunno about 'strength' but it certainly suits my mental well-being

you gotta do what keeps your head happiest.

 

[TwinkleStars]

well, guess I can't make the call about it being stronger to not ignore... all I know is I give the fools so much rope and then, when simply the act of seeing them post is a waste of my limited time, the ignore button comes to bear. Both of us have been here many years, Twinkle, and know the fools I speak of and just how repetitive they become over time. When they have zero to offer me in getting me to think about what they've posted, then to read them is a waste. I'd sooner be reading more interesting minds, nicer people, kinder souls, more intellectually witty posters. Plus it gives me wrist ache keep having to scroll past masses and masses of those fuckers I don't read, so I dunno about 'strength' but it certainly suits my mental well-being

you gotta do what keeps your head happiest.

I should have added 'in general' in there. Not just lit, the whole of the internet.

Thanks buttersmybaconbutt

 

[Noor]

To ignore or not ignore.

Are you weak because you have used ignore? Are you a stronger mentally because you haven't used ignore? If the option is available and you value your way of life, do you ignore or don't hit ignore?

I really want to hit ignore on anything I deem not worth my time because the option is available. If it is not then I do my best to avoid it or simply ignore it mentally.

Do I do what's right for me? Fucking take it up the ass? What makes someone mentally, emotionally and intellectually strong online? Using the ignore/block feature or not using it?

Do what’s right for you.

 

[xXxplorher]

why was the initial "blurt-thread" isolated?

 

[xXxplorher]

PS: *qweef*

 

[TwinkleStars]

why was the initial "blurt-thread" isolated?

Don't know. This is my thread.

 

[TwinkleStars]

Do what’s right for you.

Thank you, Noor.

 

[questquilya]

Ignore is neither strength nor weakness. For me, it is survival and agency. I don't use it that much though. How about you?

 

[TwinkleStars]

Ignore is neither strength nor weakness. For me, it is survival and agency. I don't use it that much though. How about you?

On here I don't need to.

 

[TwinkleStars]

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[TwinkleStars]