Aquelle
Poetry in the raw
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2025
- Posts
- 283
Awwww blushing
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Awwww blushing
I can’t write for shit
No inspiration
And afraid to start
I stay away
Feeling non poetic
Where did all my good ideas go?
September seems so far away
When poems fell outta my head
FF to the present
An occasional line here or there
Nuthin great
And no grand idea
Just writing raw
In the white box at the bottom of the thread
I stare At it
Unhappy
Change a few things
Fuck it
I press “post reply”
Profoundly unhappy
Well, syllables separate phonemes,6. Thou shalt count syllables and stresses in endless struggle and misunderstanding unless thy name is Tzara.
Very polite. Free versers can’t write them.Free versers despise them—
When women write poems on fucking3. If thou be woman and write about fucking, men shalt be drawn to thee. They shalt buzz like bees unto pollen. If thou be male and write of fucking? Fugeddaboutit.
I particularly liked this poem, which seems to me to feature more of the characteristics of traditional haiku than just the 5-7-5 syllable structure. There is a clear seasonal reference (kigo) and, effectively the equivalent of a cut word (kireji) at the end of line two (this might be made more emphatic by adding a dash to the end of the line. The imagery is natural (e.g. no metaphor) and although there is the hint of rhyme with leaves/breeze, that isn't so obvious as to be especially distracting.autumn's fallen leaves
red and gold swirl in the breeze
movement without life
Many thanksI particularly liked this poem, which seems to me to feature more of the characteristics of traditional haiku than just the 5-7-5 syllable structure. There is a clear seasonal reference (kigo) and, effectively the equivalent of a cut word (kireji) at the end of line two (this might be made more emphatic by adding a dash to the end of the line. The imagery is natural (e.g. no metaphor) and although there is the hint of rhyme with leaves/breeze, that isn't so obvious as to be especially distracting.
All in all, I think a pretty good example of the form.