When a new scene 'ruins' the background you've set up.

[designatedvictim]

When a new scene 'ruins' the background you've set up and which should you jump.

I'm in the middle of a new piece with the basic contrivance of 'recent college grad takes a trip to the US Southwest to visit his older sister and wasn't warned ahead of time that she and her roommate live in a small clothing-optional community'

I think that encapsulates the starting point.

He isn't into that, he's much more body-conscious than the sister and is only slowly worked around toward trying it out.

As will shock no one, this type of scenario leads to sexy-time with cute roommate where, for all intents and purposes, the sister is a catalyst and participant in a threesome.

During the first encounter, further into the story, the brother certainly played with her, but didn't intend to cross any Rubicons. The next day they discus the issues and more formal boundaries are established, should anything else happen.

“As far as potential future consideration must be, I have to say, first and foremost, where I’m concerned: until further notice, no penetration…”

I looked at her, a bit afraid. “Did I…” I began.

“Someone slipped a finger into me,” she said. “Happened more than a few times, too. I’m not sure which of you it was. Honestly, I really wasn’t keeping tabs on you two at the time.”

“Might even have been both of you. Probably was. I thought it felt different – tighter – at times. Rie has short, slim, dainty fingers. You? Not so much.

The whole idea was that they were trying not to go too far. That's already been worked into several following scenes.

Then I started working on the scene where he finally takes the plunge and gets naked with her.

They do a road trip to a large tourist trap about four hours north of where she lives. To keep it from being one really long day of driving, she plans to camp overnight on a large, isolated property one of her coworkers had taken her to years ago and had prepped ahead of time for them.

She intends the overnight to be his moment to get naked outdoors with her. He knows this is her intention, but still has his doubts.

I heard a small smile in the shadow’s voice. “Nice. You did it. Thank you.”

She stepped closer to me, taking my hands in hers, hopped up on her toes and kissed my cheek.

“Now, I have something for you. My small gift to reward you for agreeing to go bare,” Jo said quietly

She dropped back off of her toes, took a step back, and spread her arms to her sides.

In a voice barely above a whisper, she said “Undress me.”

So, I started the scene and it hit me that this is where they ought to cross into being lovers.

It is the classic setup where the two get past their inhibitions and make sweet, sweet love under the stars.

I haven't decided yet if they do become lovers, its one of the optional end scenarios I have available.

For context, he's been living with them through the first week of his visit and both women have been nude the whole time, at home.

My issue now is that there are several ways to do this scene:

1) They get naked, cut to them sitting under the stars without having any sex, naked in front of a camp fire and he steps over into being naked with her and her roommate.

2) They get naked, they get a little playful with no actual sex, cut to them sitting naked under the stars in front of a camp fire, leaving it ambiguous that they did the deed, and he steps over into being naked with her and her roommate.

3) They get naked, she mounts him, making sweet, sweet love under the stars, cut to them sitting naked in front of a camp fire, and he steps over into being naked with her and her roommate.

The problem, for me, is that I'd intended version 1 from the start. But when I went to insert this back-filled scene, it struck me as the perfect place to use version 3.

Everything else downstream already written has the underlying assumption of version 1.

My question really isn't which way should I jump, but more how do you resolve this when it happens.

Going with version 1, which struck me as having really erotic potential, might come across as bait & switch, instead of an anticipatory tease, with the readers.

Going with version 2 and its ambiguity, would require some fixing downstream.

Going with version 3 would require major rewrites of the characters' thoughts and motivations downstream.

This sounds like an issue that would crop up frequently with others.

Comments?

 

[YmaOHyd]

When this happens to me -- and it happens regularly -- I DM @PennyThompson and argue with her until I decide she's right.

More seriously, most of the moments in my work, at least, that sing to me are moments I didn't intend. When you discover something about a scene that feels intuitively right, I think it's usually better go with it rather than try to stick to a preconceived plan. If version 3 feels right, then either you have to rewrite everything downstream... or you have a story where version 3 is the story and nothing downstream needs to happen. The best-laid schemes o' mice and men gang aft agley and all that.

 

[PennyThompson]

When this happens to me -- and it happens regularly -- I DM @PennyThompson and argue with her until I decide she's right.

this feels like some kind of kink, but i'm not sure what kind...

 

[TheWritingGroup]

Nudists (naturists) I know make a big point about how nudity is not sexual.

--Annie

 

[Voboy]

This kind of shit happens to me routinely, OP. I just go with it. If it works, cool; if it doesn't, I scrap the whole thing and it's on to the next story.

It's called "being a pantser."

 

[YmaOHyd]

I'm much more of a planner, and it still happens. The thing is, the background exists to serve the story, not the other way around. If the background doesn't fit the story, jettison the background, not the story.

One thing I really struggle with is spending too much time telling stories around the edges of what I actually want to do. I like that part of the process. Character design is more interesting to me than narrative. Sometimes I need to make myself just get to the damn point. So: does that outdoor scene, as nice as it is, need to happen in this story? Are you telling a story about naturism, nudity and body positivity? Are you telling a brother/sister love story? What are you actually trying to do here? Because maybe what's happening is that you've written a nice brother/sister story, and you should go post that, and then you should start work on a separate naturism/nudism story.

 

[ConsiderateBeast]

You can't ignore story when it happens.

 

[designatedvictim]

Nudists (naturists) I know make a big point about how nudity is not sexual.

--Annie

You're completely correct.

But... don't nudists also engage in sex?

 

[TheWritingGroup]

You're completely correct.

But... don't nudists also engage in sex?

No. And that's why my parents never had sex and I don't exist.

--Annie

 

[designatedvictim]

When this happens to me -- and it happens regularly -- I DM @PennyThompson and argue with her until I decide she's right.

More seriously, most of the moments in my work, at least, that sing to me are moments I didn't intend. When you discover something about a scene that feels intuitively right, I think it's usually better go with it rather than try to stick to a preconceived plan. If version 3 feels right, then either you have to rewrite everything downstream... or you have a story where version 3 is the story and nothing downstream needs to happen. The best-laid schemes o' mice and men gang aft agley and all that.

That's pretty much why I'm asking. It does feel right to have the scene go full-incest, but I hadn't intended to commit to it so early. It's only at the 4K-word point of a 13.5K WIP (although there's some more intervening material to go).

I'm wavering, but still thinking Scenario 1. I'm kind of attached to a brief scene after he does his nude-reveal in front of the roommate and the sister pulls a nasty prank on them both. (Here, he's still kind of pissed at the sister's prank - he's semi-sulking on the couch, with the seat back between himself and the two slightly older women sitting at the kitchen island discussing him as if he wasn't there.)

I glared at her for one fulminating moment, “You know I have to work myself up to this. I’m not ready to go outside with witnesses.”

Rie looked at Jo for a moment, “Didn’t you tell me that he went starkers outside under God’s Own Sky and His Infinite Works this Friday night?”

I snorted from my hidey-hole.

“There was only one alleged witness at the crime scene,” I said. “One uncorroborated alleged witness, I might add.”

“Yes, there was only one alleged witness,” Jo said. “No others who could testify that he was rock hard the whole time. It was almost embarrassingly rigid. I’m surprised that he could even think at all with all the blood flow issues. I think I might have bruises on my back from where it kept pressing against me while we sat in front of the fire.”

Is nothing sacred to her?

I pulled myself up again to glare at Jo over the back rest. “You promised me you wouldn’t mention that! How can I ever trust you again?”

 

[YmaOHyd]

That's pretty much why I'm asking. It does feel right to have the scene go full-incest, but I hadn't intended to commit to it so early. It's only at the 4K-word point of a 13.5K WIP (although there's some more intervening material to go).

So can the campfire scene stand alone? Can you get to the point you want to go some other way? Find a different way to get into scenario one that keeps more rigid boundaries to allow the plot to progress the way you want, and use the scene you wrote as the backbone of a different work. That's an option.

I think you're trying to serve too many masters here: it's a body discovery story, and a nudism story, and a taboo story. And what you seem to want to do is run it specifically in that order, where the taboo aspect is the endgame. So once you bring that onto the page, the plot is kind of over.

 

[Milo_Grigsby]

OP, I have to agree with some of the other responses. I go with what feels right, regardless of my "plan" for the story. Sometimes it turns our great, and other times not so much. In the latter situation I need to back away from the story and figure out what I wanted it to be. I will say that nothing is more frustrating when characters come to life (figuratively of course - I'm ok, honest ) and do unexpected things or expected things sooner that you planned.

 

[designatedvictim]

So can the campfire scene stand alone? Can you get to the point you want to go some other way? Find a different way to get into scenario one that keeps more rigid boundaries to allow the plot to progress the way you want, and use the scene you wrote as the backbone of a different work. That's an option.

I think you're trying to serve too many masters here: it's a body discovery story, and a nudism story, and a taboo story. And what you seem to want to do is run it specifically in that order, where the taboo aspect is the endgame. So once you bring that onto the page, the plot is kind of over.

It probably can.

When I put the scene together, it just flowed.

Upon reading what I'd written, I got smacked my the thought that her quiet "Undress me" changed the scene from someone coaxing someone to get naked to what felt more like a full-on seduction.

I loved it.

I'm sure I could re-write that transition and get away with it.

Never considered the 'body discovery' angle, actually. Neither is a virgin. He has no qualms about being naked with one special person, just not in groups or in a less unregulated setting. When they sleep together later (platonically) he admits as much to her as they naked-snuggle inside a sleeping bag. He actually warns her that her approach might fail because there's only one other party, where she expected it to be a way to ease him along.

The first day, when he realizes the situation he's been pitchforked into, she says:

“No… face it, any way you slice it, we both grew up prudes,” she said. “No one in our family would have dreamt of undressing in front of anyone else, even at home.

“A lot of that got worn away while I was living in the dorms at school.

“The two of us shared a room at the dorm, majored the same, interviewed and got hired at the same multi-national.

Never really thought of the nudism thing, either. Although Naked Days at home are not infrequent, it's not a lifestyle for me.

I'm slighting it here, but it was a short-hand mechanism to get to the skin without more lead-up.

 

[Z_TheWriter]

How I've dealt with this has depended on how I felt about the change in the overall story, not just the one scene.

Does this new direction spark new ideas about other things that should be changed, and if I do this here and this happens at this time instead, that's probably actually better?
Then probably this is the way to go.

Does this new direction make me dread having to go over everything else with a fine tooth comb, slaving to figure out how to make everything fit together?
Maybe one scene isn't worth that - can I make it work within the original framework or maybe just cut it?

In the second case, maybe the scene can be put in another place instead, or maybe it can be saved and reworked for a different story.

 

[onehitwanda]

this feels like some kind of kink, but i'm not sure what kind...

It's a Penny Far Thing.

Don't worry I'm leaving okay, sheesh.

 

[TheLobster]

this feels like some kind of kink, but i'm not sure what kind...

I do that with a rubber duck at work. The duck usually wins.