Soma's Steamy Reviews

[Soma99]

Did you know that Netflix has "tags" on their shows- kinda like on the stories here. Well one of those tags is "Steamy"- this means a show has some sex in it, often times with a kinda Cinemax vibe to it.

I've been thinking about doing a review of some of these shows, or trying to make a watch along group.... I don't know, but tonight the correct set up hit me. I'm gonna review some show I found with the tag while extremely high. Sooooo the edibles are going and I'm ready for the first review.

 

[Soma99]

I'm gonna start this journy (and by journy I mean possibly this one show and then pass out and not remember I did this) with the first episiode of the shoe "SHE"

I'm going to do the dubs English because I don't think I can give my thoughts on this show while reading subtities.

From my understanding its a cop show about a woman who goes undercover as a hooker. Lets see how this goes:


OK - coming back to edit this- at the 23 minute mark of the episode their are some acts that don't feel fully consensual. Please avoid anything further if that is a not for you.

 

[Soma99]

ok first thing I notice is even though I turned the dubbing on the subtitles are also still on and now my tv seems very complicated and I might need to lay down and hope this problem fixes itself. I'm off to a good start and I think there is a guy picking out a hooker.

 

[Soma99]

OK OK OK - I concentrated really hard and got the captions off. OK- the dubbing is very bad and this show is reallllllllllly aggressive- nothing subtle at all.

OK 10 minutes in and we have our first plot twist- the undercover cop is being taken to a place other than where the prostition sting was supposed to happen (is "sting" the right word, that sounds like something my grandfather would say when he was taking about hookers. He wasn't right in the head, dont worry)

I Thinks shes on her own now- gonna have to play by HER OWN RULES

 

[30bandits]

i think your watching porn clips threads were better...i mean, so far, this one is off to a rough start soma.

 

[Soma99]

i think your watching porn clips threads were better...i mean, so far, this one is off to a rough start soma.

a little more steammmmmmm would be appreciated.

 

[Soma99]

ok so the middle ten minutes is flash back to how this got set up- totally unnecessary - but we are back in the present and our hero looks very nervous.

 

[Soma99]

ok..... well that was a TV show that I watched. It was not good. I'm sure it's not good. I think it's a bit rapey..... ummmmm might i watch another?...... I don't know- maybe.

OK- so maybe I'll do like a rating of some thing for these shows. 1 to 10 scale

Production Value: 4

Plot- 3

Sexy? 2

Overall: 3

I still might see what they do going forward. Or I'll realize that was horrible and never think about it again.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

This is like Joe Bob Briggs only I don’t actually have to watch the crappy media! Woohoo.

 

[Shanes_OralOrations]

Every once in a while I go through a phase where I try to watch steamy or artsy sex movies that are trying to be porn and high brow at the same time. There have a been a few I've enjoyed, but most of the time my dick says "fuck this, let's go watch some real porn," which I then do, make a nice big sticky mess and give up the "almost porn" stuff again for a while.

 

[Soma99]

Every once in a while I go through a phase where I try to watch steamy or artsy sex movies that are trying to be porn and high brow at the same time. There have a been a few I've enjoyed, but most of the time my dick says "fuck this, let's go watch some real porn," which I then do, make a nice big sticky mess and give up the "almost porn" stuff again for a while.

Ya I get that- I guess I should have been a little clearer on what I’m looking for here

(suggestions welcome- I have no self control so I pay for basically every streaming service - I think I might pay for two Disney subscriptions somehow)

I’m looking for something easy for my THC riddled brain to follow while also perking me up with a bunch of sex when I start lose focus. Unintentionally funny is also a plus.

Anyways- not tonight but I will for sure try something else soon

 

[Soma99]

SHOW NUMBER TWO!!!!!!!

THE HUNTING WIVES


(I have watched 4 episodes and will be spoiling that far into the show from here on out- the next post will give a summary of the sex and plot without spoilers)

Holy shit this show is dumb and wildly offensive in so many ways. It feels mocking of conservative southerners (which doesn’t bother me) it’s truly bizarre in how it portrays female characters decision making skills, the male characters are the flattest most one dimensional characters to ever exist, it’s weirdly focused on middle aged adults having sexual desires for characters that are explicitly 18 years old (not high school, not students, not young…. EXACTLY 18)

That said I’m gonna watch every second of this show.

It’s very close to the best thing I have watched this year but it could EASILY be argued it’s the worst thing I have ever seen. I do not even get who this show is for (other than my horny ass)

Greg Abbot- Texas governor- is mentioned by name, but the orange Cheeto is not. So it almost feels like a throw back to when republicans were just shitty people and not overt Nazi’s which is somehow nice.

Anyways, the sex is border line non stop but kinda also in a retro ish style where the only nudity is woman’s breasts and butts, most shows now try to do a little equal opportunity nudity and throw a dick in every once in awhile, but not here. Also every female character is bi-sexual but zero male characters are anything but straight cis macho dudes.

I mean the plot is so dumb that I wish there wasn’t one. Just let me hang with these deviants without any stakes.

I know I’m being negative- but this show is incredibly entertaining- I just can’t explain why. I think it’s soooooooooo outside reality that your brain knows to just turn off and that lets my fun parts decide that they like all the taboo sex.

DETAILED SPOILER OF A SCENE AT THE END OF EPISODE 4

I have not even mentioned the….. the ….. I don’t even know what to call the part where the reverend’s wife goes into the bathroom as her EXACTLY 18 YEAR OLD SON is getting out of the shower and she VERY CLEARLY looks at his cock.

Non spoiler summary in next post with ratings for this show:

 

[Soma99]

THE HUNTING WIVES by the numbers:

(1-10 scale, 10 being the best)

This score is just for episodes 1-4

Production value 10/10- show looks gorgeous

Sex 10/10 - maybe some day some show will come around with even more sex scenes or even hotter ones, but outside of actual pornography this is pretty much as good as it gets

Plot 2/10 ( I mean come on to all of it)

Overall 9/10 I hate to admit that I’m disappointed each time an episode ends.


I will for sure be imaging this show- I’m a bit busy this weekend but probably next week I will review the final 4 episodes

 

[Pad_Foot]

I want to know what you think of Episode 7

Perhaps the steamiest series I’ve seen
Well then there’s “Sense8”

 

[Soma99]

I want to know what you think of Episode 7

Perhaps the steamiest series I’ve seen
Well then there’s “Sense8”

I will let you know!

 

[Soma99]

THE HUNTING WIVES by the numbers:

this is just for episodes 5-8

Production value 10/10 still

Sex 6/10 - one very good scene but it really slows down

Plot- 1/10 the “plot” was super annoying

Overall 7/10 - this turned out not to be the best thing ever - once they try to make you care about the plot it bogs down. I never considered quitting it though

Suggestions for the next show are welcome!

Also- I watched the last half lime right after my previous post but forgot to come back and post this- I am AGGRESSIVELY high right now though and somehow that reminded me

 

[MedicalMuse]

THE HUNTING WIVES by the numbers:

this is just for episodes 5-8

Production value 10/10 still

Sex 6/10 - one very good scene but it really slows down

Plot- 1/10 the “plot” was super annoying

Overall 7/10 - this turned out not to be the best thing ever - once they try to make you care about the plot it bogs down. I never considered quitting it though

Suggestions for the next show are welcome!

Also- I watched the last half lime right after my previous post but forgot to come back and post this- I am AGGRESSIVELY high right now though and somehow that reminded me

Can you explain “aggressively high”? I’m intrigued

 

[Soma99]

Can you explain “aggressively high”? I’m intrigued

I took the wrong edible…… my dog is freaking me out. He’s asleep I think. Still freaking me out.

I’ll be ok. I mean I know no one is worried but I’ll be ok. I’m just going to keeping saying I’ll be ok…. I’ll be ok

 

[MedicalMuse]

I took the wrong edible…… my dog is freaking me out. He’s asleep I think. Still freaking me out.

I’ll be ok. I mean I know no one is worried but I’ll be ok. I’m just going to keeping saying I’ll be ok…. I’ll be ok

Drink some water.
I know it’s not like drinking alcohol, but it’ll give you something to focus on.

 

[Soma99]

Drink some water.
I know it’s not like drinking alcohol, but it’ll give you something to focus on.

im eating dried pineapple bits like a little squirrel- the tineist little bites I can so each piece last long time

Just to be clear- I bought these to take and get fucked out of my mind- I just didn’t mean to do it in a work night

I love this actually

Other than the dog who’s for sure faking sleep while he plots against me - he’s 12 though and doesn’t really have teeth anymore and weighs 11 pounds so I’m pretty sure I’ll win

 

[MedicalMuse]

im eating dried pineapple bits like a little squirrel- the tineist little bites I can so each piece last long time

Dried tidbits.

Just to be clear- I bought these to take and get fucked out of my mind- I just didn’t mean to do it in a work night

Oy.

I love this actually

Other than the dog who’s for sure faking sleep while he plots against me - he’s 12 though and doesn’t really have teeth anymore and weighs 11 pounds so I’m pretty sure I’ll win

I think you’re right, but let’s not go looking for a fight, okay?

 

[openmindedmnyc]

Other than the dog who’s for sure faking sleep while he plots against me - he’s 12 though and doesn’t really have teeth anymore and weighs 11 pounds so I’m pretty sure I’ll win

that’s what he wants you to think.

 

[MedicalMuse]

that’s what he wants you to think.

Stop that.

 

[Jaws82]

I once accidentally consumed 300mg in one go…for my first time..

 

[MedicalMuse]

I once accidentally consumed 300mg in one go…for my first time..

You’re a big boy, but goddamn. How long did it take to wear off