Healthy Clothing Sizes/Body Sizes

[SmilingLez]

I, fortunately, got out of the dating pool before they were a big thing. Is that....really all actually included in online dating profiles these days?

You are lucky. A woman that I met put on her profile that she was a few lbs overweight. It was closer to 50 lbs overweight. Hate liars

 

[vanmyers86]

Hmm. Your plot point kind of reminds me of David and Natalie in "Love, Actually." It seemed to be a running inside joke that people around them kept calling her fat, but David (Hugh Grant) and the audience (me, at least) were mystified as to how anyone could call such a trim woman "chubby." I figured at the time that maybe it was some subtle British humor that a mere American like me couldn't understand.
"Shallow Hal" was the opposite - a male character who kept seeing women's physical appearances as manifestations of their inner beauty - or lack thereof.
Might be some interesting watching as you let the concept marinate.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Sounds like a dating profile. Having been on bumble awhile, most women do not "match" their pics

Yeah - that’s exactly what she is filling in…

 

[SamanthaBehgs]

You are lucky. A woman that I met put on her profile that she was a few lbs overweight. It was closer to 50 lbs overweight. Hate liars

You know, on the one hand, I also hate liars. On the other - I also hate that weight is something that matters on a dating profile. Like, I understand it, I know attraction matters, I just wish it was more secondary than it is.

 

[SmilingLez]

You know, on the one hand, I also hate liars. On the other - I also hate that weight is something that matters on a dating profile. Like, I understand it, I know attraction matters, I just wish it was more secondary than it is.

I agree.

 

[SamanthaBehgs]

Hmm. Your plot point kind of reminds me of David and Natalie in "Love, Actually." It seemed to be a running inside joke that people around them kept calling her fat, but David (Hugh Grant) and the audience (me, at least) were mystified as to how anyone could call such a trim woman "chubby." I figured at the time that maybe it was some subtle British humor that a mere American like me couldn't understand.
"Shallow Hal" was the opposite - a male character who kept seeing women's physical appearances as manifestations of their inner beauty - or lack thereof.
Might be some interesting watching as you let the concept marinate.

I wish there was a scared react. I don't think I'm going to live up to (at least not in this story) the kinda awesome expectations you have here. I love the idea, I just don't know if I'm a good enough writer to really get it off the ground.

 

[NaughteeDragon]

Perhaps this requires more context. My FMC is out with a group of friends, a few of whom have just said that their SOs have told them they were too fat/ugly without makeup and my character is appalled, given their good looks, which is the only reason we're getting an exact description of anyone. I wanted to be able to describe the friends and then just have my character thinking of herself as "not as pretty as them" (an assertion that will later be contracted repeatedly by the MMC). Think praise kink, but first she has to feel bad by comparison. I won't be describing her and, I might steal your idea, Shelby (if that's okay?), as a way that the

For a scene like this I would have the FMC think of herself relatively, and I would use narrative language instead of dialogue.

When Janet heard what size dress Lisa wore, she despaired of ever considering herself beautiful. She hadn’t worn a dress that size since high school. Alice’s bra size made her feel tiny by comparison. It was no wonder she couldn’t catch and keep a man, these women outstripped her in every measurable way and their husbands still complained.

She thought if she had Maria’s long, thick black tresses or MeiLi’s striking eyes, perhaps she would be pretty enough. Maybe if she had Siobhan’s perfect smattering freckles on alabaster skin, or Tiatha’s ageless beauty.

But she had none of those, she was just Janet. The woman who had to spend 10 hours a week in the gym so that tonight’s drinks and cheesecake wouldn’t go straight to her ass. The woman who had to buy her bra’s at Victoria’s Secret so they would get enough lift for decent cleavage. The woman who spent hours watching makeup tutorials so that her makeup made her look natural. The woman who went to the spa once a month to make sure her nails and skin looked as good as they could. She would never be them, so effortlessly beautiful.


I would do it this way because it shows that she is not looking at the whole, she is focusing on details, and comparing her overall to the best of each of them. Additionally it shows that she does do the work so that other people can find her beautiful even if she does not see herself that way. A woman that values herself is always beautiful, even if only a few can appreciate it.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Perhaps this requires more context. My FMC is out with a group of friends, a few of whom have just said that their SOs have told them they were too fat/ugly without makeup and my character is appalled, given their good looks, which is the only reason we're getting an exact description of anyone. I wanted to be able to describe the friends and then just have my character thinking of herself as "not as pretty as them" (an assertion that will later be contracted repeatedly by the MMC). Think praise kink, but first she has to feel bad by comparison. I won't be describing her and, I might steal your idea, Shelby (if that's okay?), as a way that the MMC describes her aloud.

Compare her friends be reference not detail; Greg was crazy. Liz had bigger tits than me. They stood nice and firm on her voluptuous body. I should be so lucky. And Beth, what the hell was Dave talking about, sure she was thin, maybe a little too thin, but her legs and ass were toned from years of running. So what if all that time in the sun had aged her face, I'd have killed for a firm butt like hers. None of us were perfect, but they all had me beat in one way or another, too often more than just one. I was jealous of all of them.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I wish there was a scared react. I don't think I'm going to live up to (at least not in this story) the kinda awesome expectations you have here. I love the idea, I just don't know if I'm a good enough writer to really get it off the ground.

Try looking at it this way:

“She wore a skin-tight size 16 gown, which Harold found delightful.”

or

“Her lush figure, enfolded by her skin tight gown, had Harold drooling.”

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Try looking at it this way:

“She wore a skin-tight size 16 gown, which Harold found delightful.”

or

“Her lush figure, enfolded by her skin tight gown, had Harold drooling.”

This applies to a to more than women's physical characteristics. Sometimes intimate details matter, like describing in excruciating detail a trail of kisses and nibbles from a woman ear to her clit, including all the tasty stops along the way.(You still don't want to call out her perfect 36DDD tits)

But the more you let your readers fill in the gaps, the more invested they become in your story. There was a reason we never found out what was in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction. Tarantino wanted the audience to fill it in, make it their own in order to get them vested in the story. It works.

 

[TheLobster]

I also hate that weight is something that matters on a dating profile.

I don't think it was the weight that mattered. It was probably the fact she blatantly lied and thought she could somehow get away with it. That never bodes well for a relationship.

 

[SamanthaBehgs]

This applies to a to more than women's physical characteristics. Sometimes intimate details matter, like describing in excruciating detail a trail of kisses and nibbles from a woman ear to her clit, including all the tasty stops along the way.(You still don't want to call out her perfect 36DDD tits)

But the more you let your readers fill in the gaps, the more invested they become in your story. There was a reason we never found out what was in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction. Tarantino wanted the audience to fill it in, make it their own in order to get them vested in the story. It works.

I wish there was a pondering react. It goes against what I wrote (in my story) yesterday and although I know one doesn't have to take all advice one gets on the forums, I'm wondering if I'm writing something boring to everyone but me. Something to ponder in editing for sure - and to ask if I can accomplish what I'm trying to without this.

I don't think it was the weight that mattered. It was probably the fact she blatantly lied and thought she could somehow get away with it. That never bodes well for a relationship.

Oh I agree, that's why I started by saying I also hate liars. Like, I understood the why of it, but also just hated that it was even in the profile and mattered.

I hope it wasn't taken directly as a criticism of @SmilingLez and if it was, I'm tagging you now so that you can see my apology. I didn't mean it as an indictment of your decision - lying even about something you don't think should matter is still lying and I fully understand why it would be a turn off. I'm very sorry if it came off as critical.

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

Your plot point kind of reminds me of David and Natalie in "Love, Actually." It seemed to be a running inside joke that people around them kept calling her fat, but David (Hugh Grant) and the audience (me, at least) were mystified as to how anyone could call such a trim woman "chubby." I figured at the time that maybe it was some subtle British humor that a mere American like me couldn't understand.

Martine McCutcheon had previously had issues with her size and was uncomfortable with the references, whereas Richard Curtis found them amusing because, at the time, she was quite slim. 20 years on, Curtis now finds them uncomfortable whilst McCutcheon is able to laugh about them.

I'll also endorse the other posters' comments about sizing. Not only do UK/US/EU sizes vary, but so do M&S/Beckham/George.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I'll also endorse the other posters' comments about sizing. Not only do UK/US/EU sizes vary, but so do M&S/Beckham/George.

Even garments from the same manufacturer vary. I think someone decided that quality control was a drag on profit and fired that department.

Even exactly the same pair of pants, from exactly the same manufacturer, and allegedly exactly the same size, but in a different color, can fit totally differently. I order most of my basics online and I often end up ordering the sizes above and below my regular size and sending back whatever doesn’t fit.

 

[SmilingLez]

I wish there was a pondering react. It goes against what I wrote (in my story) yesterday and although I know one doesn't have to take all advice one gets on the forums, I'm wondering if I'm writing something boring to everyone but me. Something to ponder in editing for sure - and to ask if I can accomplish what I'm trying to without this.



Oh I agree, that's why I started by saying I also hate liars. Like, I understood the why of it, but also just hated that it was even in the profile and mattered.

I hope it wasn't taken directly as a criticism of @SmilingLez and if it was, I'm tagging you now so that you can see my apology. I didn't mean it as an indictment of your decision - lying even about something you don't think should matter is still lying and I fully understand why it would be a turn off. I'm very sorry if it came off as critical.

No offense taken. It was the continuation of the lie when we started texting. She could have very easily told me about her weight during our texting and all would have been fine. I had a similar situation with a woman who was older than her profile age. After texting she told me how old she really was. It wasn't an issue, we just didn't click in other areas (smoking)

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I wish there was a pondering react. It goes against what I wrote (in my story) yesterday and although I know one doesn't have to take all advice one gets on the forums, I'm wondering if I'm writing something boring to everyone but me. Something to ponder in editing for sure - and to ask if I can accomplish what I'm trying to without this

It's just advice and is worth exactly what you paid for it. Let it soak in and make it yours. Write what you write for you. Following your vision for your story should always trump what other people say. Listen to your muse, adn again, my suggesttion is just that. Good luck, and please post a like to your story in this thread when you get it published.

 

[SamanthaBehgs]

It's just advice and is worth exactly what you paid for it. Let it soak in and make it yours. Write what you write for you. Following your vision for your story should always trump what other people say. Listen to your muse, adn again, my suggesttion is just that. Good luck, and please post a like to your story in this thread when you get it published.

Thank you so much but please know, it's worth more than I paid for it. Even if I end up not making changes as a result, just hearing and having something to ponder over in the editing is valuable, like you said.

And I will try to remember to post the link. It's going to be in a two part series and I want to finish both parts before publishing either, so it will take me quite a bit, I think.

No offense taken. It was the continuation of the lie when we started texting. She could have very easily told me about her weight during our texting and all would have been fine. I had a similar situation with a woman who was older than her profile age. After texting she told me how old she really was. It wasn't an issue, we just didn't click in other areas (smoking)

That is such a relief. Thank you for letting me know. I think I'd be single the rest of my days if I had to wade through all of that. I'm too socially awkward and anxious for putting myself out like that anymore (I stumbled accidentally into my relationship with my husband while we were still in college).

Even exactly the same pair of pants, from exactly the same manufacturer, and allegedly exactly the same size, but in a different color, can fit totally differently.

Dang, so true. I've run into this more times than I can remember. Just...didn't think of it when writing.

 

[NaughteeDragon]

I'm wondering if I'm writing something boring to everyone but me. Something to ponder in editing for sure - and to ask if I can accomplish what I'm trying to without this.

Small moments that illustrate an important character detail are only boring if the trait is unimportant or unnecessarily repetitive. You had mentioned that she has something like a praise kink, but only if she is feeling down about herself. To really illustrate that I think you need to do it twice. In one scene the praise happens and it doesn't mean much because she feels pretty good about herself. Then she has scene that leaves her questioning herself worth, then the kink surfaces again to great affect. Put the two scenes fairly close together, but not adjacent, and you have something that becomes a defining characteristic.

 

[alohadave]

Even exactly the same pair of pants, from exactly the same manufacturer, and allegedly exactly the same size, but in a different color, can fit totally differently.

Black jeans are almost always smaller/fit tighter than blue jeans, IME.

 

[SamanthaBehgs]

Black jeans are almost always smaller/fit tighter than blue jeans, IME.

Unless they are dark blue, then all bets are off and they've dyed your legs. Or is that just me?

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Unless they are dark blue, then all bets are off and they've dyed your legs. Or is that just me?

Color doesn't seem to matter, but the fit of mine seems to be linked to my bathroom scale for some reason. Maybe Bluetooth...

 

[EmilyMiller]

Black jeans are almost always smaller/fit tighter than blue jeans, IME.

Khaki and white and plum pants in the same style / size, all different.

 

[SamanthaBehgs]

Color doesn't seem to matter, but the fit of mine seems to be linked to my bathroom scale for some reason. Maybe Bluetooth...

I think these scales are out to get us and have learned to sew.

 

[crookedletter]

It is a little nuts that we have all these standardized units of measurement around, yet clothes/shoes manufacturers insist on using their own, completely arbitrary, sizes.

Say what you will about Imperial -- and I for one won't argue -- but at least you can trust an inch to be an inch.

 

[TheLobster]

at least you can trust an inch to be an inch.

"You serious?" Her eyebrows rose in exasperation. "You're really gonna tell me that this is eight inches...?"