Coming out 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

[Zrosey]

Happy coming out day to those on the queer spectrum
October is also history month for any that like to keep track of this kinda stuff

https://thehomoculture.com/national-coming-out-day-october-11-why-it-matters/

 

[Zrosey]

I'll def never forget coming out! Some of my really close friends knew long before I put it out there for all to see, I mean I was pretty flaming.....queer
The way I did it was by posting a awesome little clip of art. The piece is so sweet, it shows a woman emerging from the tired body of a guy.
I really felt it! It expressed how I had been feeling so well.

Life hasn't necessarily been easy since living my true life, family has cut me off, many people I was on talking terms with just quit even looking at me, but even with all that I would never go back!
If you do come out, I hope you have someone in your life to smile with you and help support you!

 

[Ciceri]

I'll def never forget coming out! Some of my really close friends knew long before I put it out there for all to see, I mean I was pretty flaming.....queer
The way I did it was by posting a awesome little clip of art. The piece is so sweet, it shows a woman emerging from the tired body of a guy.
I really felt it! It expressed how I had been feeling so well.

Life hasn't necessarily been easy since living my true life, family has cut me off, many people I was on talking terms with just quit even looking at me, but even with all that I would never go back!
If you do come out, I hope you have someone in your life to smile with you and help support you!

I’m sorry those people aren’t accepting of you. Embrace the ones who are. I haven’t come out because there aren’t many in my circle and I’m not confident any one of them would stand by me.

 

[Wag_that_tail86]

I’m sorry those people aren’t accepting of you. Embrace the ones who are. I haven’t come out because there aren’t many in my circle and I’m not confident any one of them would stand by me.

I hope you find people who accept you...you should be able to live life on your terms.

I'll def never forget coming out! Some of my really close friends knew long before I put it out there for all to see, I mean I was pretty flaming.....queer
The way I did it was by posting a awesome little clip of art. The piece is so sweet, it shows a woman emerging from the tired body of a guy.
I really felt it! It expressed how I had been feeling so well.

Life hasn't necessarily been easy since living my true life, family has cut me off, many people I was on talking terms with just quit even looking at me, but even with all that I would never go back!
If you do come out, I hope you have someone in your life to smile with you and help support you!

This is beautiful but it makes me sad too, sad that people are rejected just for being themselves.

Hugs to you both.

 

[Zrosey]

I’m sorry those people aren’t accepting of you. Embrace the ones who are. I haven’t come out because there aren’t many in my circle and I’m not confident any one of them would stand by me.

I kinda had an idea of the ones in my life that would reject me after outing myself, but for me it was something I had to do for myself and no one else.
I was surprised both ways, some that accepted me, and others that didn't.

Coming out is highly personal and it is up to each of us how or when, and even if we come out.
Whatever you choose, the best to you!

 

[coati]

If you do come out, I hope you have someone in your life to smile with you and help support you!

You are that kind of person, and you bring joy to this forum.

 

[Ciceri]

It's a little odd... I thought I would have come out in college though I wasn't sure of anything. Other boys called me sissy all the way through school and I had all the feminine qualities of a gay boy. Even my grandfather called me a sissy once. It was no secret in our household I wore my mom's lingerie. She once found her panties under my pillow and confronted me. She asked, "Do you prefer girls' clothes? Should I buy you panties and a dress?" I shook my head in shame but inside I was screaming "YES!!" Maybe that led to my secrecy. The shame still hangs over me to this day.

 

[stickygirl]

My mother noticed early on - probably before I did. She never made a big deal of it ( to me at least ) and that was her way of giving me an escape route if I later changed my mind.
I think being autistic meant I was used to masking my true self, so I could pretend to be a boy all day, provided I could decompress as me at home. I fully transitioned when I went to Uni, so I made new friends there. I have an uncle who is a total dick and is still tapping his foot, waiting for me to detransition so he can crow "I told you so". You can't choose your family.

 

[Zrosey]

You are that kind of person, and you bring joy to this forum.

Thank you so much @coati, I like to think I'm mostly a happy person and hopefully some of that spills out to others

 

[Zrosey]

It's a little odd... I thought I would have come out in college though I wasn't sure of anything. Other boys called me sissy all the way through school and I had all the feminine qualities of a gay boy. Even my grandfather called me a sissy once. It was no secret in our household I wore my mom's lingerie. She once found her panties under my pillow and confronted me. She asked, "Do you prefer girls' clothes? Should I buy you panties and a dress?" I shook my head in shame but inside I was screaming "YES!!" Maybe that led to my secrecy. The shame still hangs over me to this day.

I can relate to the clothes thing. I was probably about 12-14 yo and I would make skirts out of pieces of fabric I took from my mom's sewing stuff.
I would go out where no one would find me and put together outfits I did.
OMG! I would love to see pictures of some of that now, but at the time I would have been scared to death if someone had pics of me dressing up!

 

[Zrosey]

My mother noticed early on - probably before I did. She never made a big deal of it ( to me at least ) and that was her way of giving me an escape route if I later changed my mind.

I think your mom must be a pretty awesome mom!
Now looking back I do wonder how my mom might have reacted. I def know it would have been bad stuff if my dad found out, but now I like to imagine my mom as supportive.
However it happens, it is amazing and so welcome finding others that stand with us!

 

[coati]

Thank you so much @coati, I like to think I'm mostly a happy person and hopefully some of that spills out to others

Your kindness does spill out to others.

Especially these days, trans and queer people are being treated as scapegoats by control freaks who are creating so much unnecessary conflict in society. I appreciate that this particular enclave of posters has some of the most honest, considerate, and forthcoming individuals on the Lit forums.

It's a very welcoming corner of the Lit forums.

 

[ericalauren]

I'm partially closeted as asexual and nonbinary. Bleh.

 

[Zrosey]

I'm partially closeted as asexual and nonbinary. Bleh.

And if this works for you, that's what matters!

 

[Ciceri]

I can relate to the clothes thing. I was probably about 12-14 yo and I would make skirts out of pieces of fabric I took from my mom's sewing stuff.
I would go out where no one would find me and put together outfits I did.
OMG! I would love to see pictures of some of that now, but at the time I would have been scared to death if someone had pics of me dressing up!

A passenger in our carpool left a paper bag in my mom's car. I'm the only one who noticed and brought that bag to my room. It contained red tights and a pair of her panties. You can guess what I wore to bed that night. I was in heaven. I cut the legs off the tights to make a little skirt. I wish I'd had better sewing skills. The edge needed to be finished. But the idea was there. There were times my parents would leave for the entire day and I'd dress up in my mom's clothes. I got good at makeup. I remember filling water balloons to wear her bra. Did you ever go outside dressed up? I gathered the nerve to walk around my block. Very exciting

 

[Zrosey]

I got good at makeup. I remember filling water balloons to wear her bra. Did you ever go outside dressed up? I gathered the nerve to walk around my block. Very exciting

I totally get the "very exciting" part,but it played out different for me.
I had never tried makeup until after I started my transition. Oh.... actually I did do, or a friend did some eye liner on me back in high school.
Anyways I still don't feel confident doing makeup and would love to go somewhere to learn.
The time I did eye liner was so much fun, but I got called out for it by a teacher, it didn't end very well...
All the times I would dress femme before I started transitioning I pretty much hid out because I was terrified of being seen!
Now though, I almost always am wearing some femme clothing, often my top, because the weather here can be pretty brutal I rarely wear skirts and few cis women do either.
Where I grew up there would not have been lots of acceptance for me. I still live here and it still isn't the best, but I have some friends that are awesome so that helps.

 

[ClockworkCourtesan]

I never really came out, I just was. I'm pretty fluid in my life, results of a super strict conservative upbringing, I am more spur of the moment and I don't plan anything. Terrible at makeup, my outfits are an eclectic mix of disaster due to being colorblind. And my mannerisms just don't fit any societal norms. I wouldn't have it any other way

 

[coati]

I never really came out, I just was. I'm pretty fluid in my life, results of a super strict conservative upbringing, I am more spur of the moment and I don't plan anything. Terrible at makeup, my outfits are an eclectic mix of disaster due to being colorblind. And my mannerisms just don't fit any societal norms. I wouldn't have it any other way

A great thing about the feminist movement is it helped to demolish the dress code for women.

Men are mostly still catching up on their liberation from dress codes. Still lots of social pressure there.

Most non-binary folks I know wear whatever they want.

 

[Zrosey]

I never really came out, I just was. I'm pretty fluid in my life, results of a super strict conservative upbringing, I am more spur of the moment and I don't plan anything. Terrible at makeup, my outfits are an eclectic mix of disaster due to being colorblind. And my mannerisms just don't fit any societal norms. I wouldn't have it any other way

So much here I can relate to!
The strict conservative upbringing (although that was mostly my dad, mom was pretty open an accepting)
Spur of the moment soul as well...
And yeah wild and weird outfits are not uncommon for me too

You sound like someone I'd get a long with!

 

[stickygirl]

"This whole world is wild at heart and weird on top" ... wise words from dear departed David Lynch.

Clothes weren't a motivation for me to transition. I know they can be for many folks, but I think wearing them coincides with the age of raging puberty hormones. I grew up in a female household, so being a girl was quite normal to me along with the clothes - they weren't a token of my gender.

I wear summer dresses and skirts when the occasion arises and I love having that choice, but my lifestyle means that jeans are more appropriate. You can still wear cute tops and be feminine in jeans and besides, a whole generation of women fought to make pants legal!

 

[coati]

I wear summer dresses and skirts when the occasion arises and I love having that choice, but my lifestyle means that jeans are more appropriate. You can still wear cute tops and be feminine in jeans and besides, a whole generation of women fought to make pants legal!

Wearing pants can be more a matter of body shape than gender. If you find yourself tightening your belt all day long to keep your pants up, then maybe bifurcating your body with a tourniquet is not the way to go. Suspenders can help if you carry a lot of stuff in your pockets. Some suspenders look sort of cool.

However, in desert regions, full button-down kaftan robe-type wear makes a lot of sense to shield your body from the sun. It feels like hanging out naked under a shade tent-- very sensual during oppressively hot days. These light robes are regularly worn by everyone on the gender spectrum, and they can have plenty of pocket space for your cell phone, wallet, and other "essentials".

When i was a kid, all the illustrations I saw of Jesus had me wondering if he had pockets inside his robe and what he might keep in his pockets. I was easily distracted on Sundays in church.

 

[Zrosey]

Clothes weren't a motivation for me to transition

Clothes were def not a motivation for my transition either. Mostly for me it was survival! I think back to how I was before and it is scary just remembering the depression and hopeless feelings.
As everyone's experience is different coming out / transitioning I am thankful for the joy and happiness I've found now.
I only wish this for everyone!

Still...clothes are so much fun now I was just shopping this morning for hiking skirts and it makes me bubbly with excitement looking at stuff!

 

[Zrosey]

"This whole world is wild at heart and weird on top" ... wise words from dear departed David Lynch.

Just to say how much I love this quote!

 

[stickygirl]

Just to say how much I love this quote!

You should try to catch the film... Wild at Heart - it's full of great one liners, and fun.
"You got me hotter than Georgia asphalt"

The SU film unit showed it when I was at Sheffield

 

[stickygirl]

Clothes were def not a motivation for my transition either. Mostly for me I am pretty sure it was survival! I think back to how I was before and it is scary just remembering the depression and hopeless feelings.
As everyone's experience is different coming out / transitioning I am thankful for the joy and happiness I've found now.
I only wish this for everyone!

Still...clothes are so much fun now I was just shopping this morning for hiking skirts and it makes me bubbly with excitement looking at stuff!

It used to be a challenge people once issued - that trans women were men with a fetish for underwear. Thankfully things have moved on because of course now we go through HRT and surgeries to gain access to women's restrooms to assault them.
I like the sound of hiking skirts!