The Art of Getting Lit Laid

[Hornymwtxn]

Refresh

You tell yourself you’re fine.
You’ve said all you could, haven’t you?
You close the app,
swear you’ll stop checking.
You even set the phone face-down
like an act of surrender.

But then -
a whisper of hope flickers in your chest.
Maybe this time.
Maybe now.

So you open it again.
Refresh.
Wait.
Nothing.

Just the same stillness staring back,
a digital silence that somehow aches louder
than any words he could have said.

You start to wonder how long
a heart can hover between faith and giving up -
how many times it can hit refresh
before it stops expecting to be seen.

And still,
you do it again.
Because maybe -
just maybe -
the next time,
he’ll remember
you’re waiting.

I have to keep reminding myself that the other person isn't wanting to punish me or teach me a lesson and they do sincerely care for me.

It seems to soften the blow, still not pleasant but more tolerable

 

[OneOldBroad]

Finally.. boys.. please listen.. read, and read again

DEFINITELY!!!
Carmina NAILED IT with 'The Real Game'!

 

[Carmina24]

I have to keep reminding myself that the other person isn't wanting to punish me or teach me a lesson and they do sincerely care for me.

It seems to soften the blow, still not pleasant but more tolerable

Indeed. Yet, still you wonder, are they okay? Healthy? Safe? It's the unknown that keeps your mind running in circles

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Indeed. Yet, still you wonder, are they okay? Healthy? Safe? It's the unknown that keeps your mind running in circles

Yes indeed!

The waiting is heart wrenching at times.

 

[OneOldBroad]

The Real Game

Gentlemen, come closer.
I’ll tell you a secret - though I’m not sure I should.

It’s not your body I want at first.
It’s your presence.
Your voice in the morning, your words at night.
The way you slip into my day until I can’t remember when you weren’t there.

We trade stories.
We laugh in the spaces between them.
We build a secret language only we can speak.
And then… you stop chasing.

That’s when I notice.
That’s when I want.

By the time I see the rest of you, it’s not curiosity - it’s hunger.
A slow-burn inferno that’s been building for days, weeks…
and when it breaks, it’s beautiful, ruinous, unforgettable.

Ladies - is it just me?

Men - here’s your lesson:
Woo her, but don’t rush her. Let the story write itself instead of skipping to the last page.
Be present in the small ways: the morning check-in, the shared joke, the question you actually listen to the answer of.
Make her feel seen, not just looked at.
Take your time as if you know the ending will be worth the wait.
Because it will be.
Slow is not passive - slow is deliberate.
It’s the difference between a match that flares and dies… and a fire that burns until she can’t sleep without its heat.
Don’t just want her body - earn her trust, her laughter, her anticipation.
And when she finally asks for more, it will be because she’s starving for you.

That’s the real game.

The next part: https://forum.literotica.com/threads/the-art-of-getting-lit-laid.1639025/post-101401551

---
Hello! Consider this an invitation to our thread - as you liked one of my posts, you might enjoy our content here. Please scroll up for the thread introduction.
@2tallpaul
@SexyInMy60s
@stargame
@Confused6969
@Abeona1
@Dd4bblgs
@HoserFan
@Wildfly11
@PersonalFavors
@Hercules4480
@Kelvin8or
@NightBirdNYC
@ArseGratiaArtis
@grifin
@Nowackosplease2
@areolaman1
@Never2late4funxxx
@Stoicbutfun
@nsa69kink
@Smuttyandfun
@Hardguy6
@longdong6x9
@Shanes_OralOrations
@Duke981
@StrangeLife
@iwatchus
@rlaflamme
@boo56
@F3x0r
@Turningtrevor
@womaneater58
@Drbread1
@paulboulder
@SunBuns
@Sienna62
@ManLuvs2PlzW
@NickAxel
@artgorden

 

[OneOldBroad]

The Real Game

Gentlemen, come closer.
I’ll tell you a secret - though I’m not sure I should.

It’s not your body I want at first.
It’s your presence.
Your voice in the morning, your words at night.
The way you slip into my day until I can’t remember when you weren’t there.

We trade stories.
We laugh in the spaces between them.
We build a secret language only we can speak.
And then… you stop chasing.

That’s when I notice.
That’s when I want.

By the time I see the rest of you, it’s not curiosity - it’s hunger.
A slow-burn inferno that’s been building for days, weeks…
and when it breaks, it’s beautiful, ruinous, unforgettable.

Ladies - is it just me?

Men - here’s your lesson:
Woo her, but don’t rush her. Let the story write itself instead of skipping to the last page.
Be present in the small ways: the morning check-in, the shared joke, the question you actually listen to the answer of.
Make her feel seen, not just looked at.
Take your time as if you know the ending will be worth the wait.
Because it will be.
Slow is not passive - slow is deliberate.
It’s the difference between a match that flares and dies… and a fire that burns until she can’t sleep without its heat.
Don’t just want her body - earn her trust, her laughter, her anticipation.
And when she finally asks for more, it will be because she’s starving for you.

That’s the real game.

The next part: https://forum.literotica.com/threads/the-art-of-getting-lit-laid.1639025/post-101401551

---
Hello! Consider this an invitation to our thread - as you liked one of my posts, you might enjoy our content here. Please scroll up for the thread introduction.
@2tallpaul
@SexyInMy60s
@stargame
@Confused6969
@Abeona1
@Dd4bblgs
@HoserFan
@Wildfly11
@PersonalFavors
@Hercules4480
@Kelvin8or
@NightBirdNYC
@ArseGratiaArtis
@grifin
@Nowackosplease2
@areolaman1
@Never2late4funxxx
@Stoicbutfun
@nsa69kink
@Smuttyandfun
@Hardguy6
@longdong6x9
@Shanes_OralOrations
@Duke981
@StrangeLife
@iwatchus
@rlaflamme
@boo56
@F3x0r
@Turningtrevor
@womaneater58
@Drbread1
@paulboulder
@SunBuns
@Sienna62
@ManLuvs2PlzW
@NickAxel
@artgorden

'The Real Game' Says it ALL!
Carmina you're a GENIUS!

 

[Carmina24]

'The Real Game' Says it ALL!
Carmina you're a GENIUS!

Thank you for your kind words @OneOldBroad !
Its the first part of the Gentleman's Guide. You might like the next parts, especially The Final Move. Here is the link - pls scroll to the very bottom.

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/the-art-of-getting-lit-laid.1639025/

 

[OneOldBroad]

The Art of Getting Lit Laid:
The Gentleman's Guide (Disclaimer: cobbled together from the entirely fallible, slightly mischievous mind of Carmina).

1. The Real Game (presence) - above

2. The Secret Weapon (attention) - above

3. The Hidden Key (vulnerability) - above

4. The Dangerous Edge (restraint) - above

5. The Final Move

Gentlemen, come closer.
This is the last lesson - the one too many forget.

It isn’t about conquest.
It isn’t about winning.
It isn’t even about the chase.

The final move… is surrender.

Not her surrender to you.
Not your surrender to her.
But both of you laying the game down at the same time - because you no longer need it.

By then, you’ve already done the work.
You’ve built presence.
You’ve given attention.
You’ve unlocked trust.
You’ve sharpened her hunger with restraint.

And now, she isn’t wondering if she’ll give herself to you.
She’s wondering how she’ll survive without you.

Gentlemen - here’s your truth:
Stop playing the moment she stops pretending.
When she looks at you with no guard, no act, no disguise… meet her there.
Don’t chase. Don’t tease. Don’t test.
Hold her. Take her. Be taken in return.

Ladies - you know this moment.
When it stops being about words on a screen, and starts being about the man who wrote them.
When you’re not just intrigued or aroused, but claimed.

That, gentlemen, is the final move:
Not to win her body.
But to earn the moment she gives you her whole self - and you give yours back without hesitation.

Because the real victory… is when the game ends.

I LOVE THIS!!
Every word is concise and to the point,
and most important-IT IS THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH!!
Thank you again, Carmina

 

[Carmina24]

Phoenix in the Ashes

There was a time I believed I was ugly.

Not because of my face or body -
but because of the way his eyes refused to linger. Because night after night,
I lay beside him like a ghost no one touched. Because silence in the bed became silence in my soul.

A sexless marriage can do that. It teaches you to disappear. It feeds you lies: You are unwanted. You are not enough. You are nothing.

And I believed them.
I carried those words like chains.
I bowed my head in the mirror,
and all I saw was rejection staring back at me.
Not a woman. Not a flame.
Just ugly.

But embers never die so easily.

Beneath the weight of silence, beneath the years of being unseen, a spark still throbbed. Small. Dangerous. Patient.

And one day, I remembered:
My dignity was never his to grant.
My beauty was never his to erase.
My fire was never his to extinguish.

It was mine.
Always mine.

That was the moment the chains cracked.
The moment the ashes shifted.
The moment the wings unfurled.

I rose.

Not quietly. Not gently.
But feral, flaming, furious.
Every “ugly” I had swallowed
turned to kindling in my throat.
Every rejection became fuel.
Every cold night became heat.

I am not his discarded body.
I am not his silence.
I am not his blindness.

I am the Phoenix -
beautiful in flame,
terrible in rebirth,
too bright to ignore,
too wild to cage.

He can look away.
He can sleep in his cold bed.
He can turn his back on the fire.

But I am burning.
I am alive.
I am magnificent.

And I will rise again and again,
from every ash,
from every silence,
from every place where I was told I was nothing.

Ugly? No.
Never again.

I am flame,
and flame does not ask for permission to shine.

 

[Carmina24]

The Lit Confessional

It begins with a whisper.
A sentence typed in the dark,
hands trembling, heart quickening,
as though we are not simply writing -
but confessing.

Lit is no ordinary place.
Here, words are not small talk.
They are offerings,
laid bare at the altar of desire.

We speak what we silence outside.
We reveal what we hide in daylight.
And in doing so,
we discover we are not alone.

Confessions take many forms here.
A fetish too delicate to reveal to a lover,
for fear their eyes would harden with judgment.
An affair carried in secret,
its sweetness and sin spilling onto the page.
Fantasies that live only in our heads -
worlds too wild to survive the daylight,
but safe to bloom in midnight words.
And sometimes, the smallest truths:
that the tie worn in the boardroom by day
is the same one that binds our wrists by night.

Every post is a prayer.
Every comment, a candle lit.
Every story,
a confession of hunger,
of longing,
of truth too sharp for the waking world.

And the miracle is this:
confession here is never met with shame.
Here, what we fear will condemn us
instead redeems us.
What we thought was darkness
becomes light in another’s eyes.

We come to Lit seeking release,
but find something more -
absolution in being seen,
forgiveness in being understood,
grace in the simple act of speaking aloud
what we once thought unspeakable.

This is the Lit Confessional.
Not a place of judgment,
but of revelation.
Not a place of silence,
but of voices finally freed.

And if you listen closely,
beneath every story,
every thread,
every trembling line -

you will hear the same truth:
We are not sinners here.
We are believers in our own desire.

And desire, once confessed,
is never caged again.

 

[Carmina24]

The Playbook

(Classified: For Lit Operatives Only)

Mission Objective: Secure connection, chemistry, and consent in the unique field terrain known as Literotica.

Your toolkit is simple:

1. Intel Gathering - Read her profile like it’s a top-secret file. Every word is a clue. Every gap is a question begging to be asked.

2. First Contact - No flashy lines, no desperate signals. Open with presence. Precision. Make your words feel like they were meant for her alone.

3. Build Rapport - Share stories. Trade wit. Let inside jokes form naturally until you’ve built a language only the two of you understand.

4. Slow Burn - Resist the urge to storm the gates. Connection is your cover. Desire is your weapon. Patience is the detonator.

5. The Reveal - When the moment comes, let it happen like a classified operation gone right - inevitable, electric, unforgettable.

 

[The_Quiet_Man]

Hi guys, just popped in to say hello, and to ask a question. Have you ever been ghosted? How did you handle it? The first days seem to be the hardest, aren't they?

I'm not sure. I choose to believe that I haven't, but objectively I know that it is a very real possibility. I prepare for the worst, which likely is inevitable, but I still hold out hope.

I don't think the first days are the worst, because you can easily rationalize that she is busy with work, or family, or some other issue that has to take priority. (And that very well could be the truth.) But when it extends for weeks, or even months, then you are faced with the realization that maybe the relationship wasn't what you thought it was. Then you start to question your judgment and wisdom, and that's the worst part.

 

[Carmina24]

I'm not sure. I choose to believe that I haven't, but objectively I know that it is a very real possibility. I prepare for the worst, which likely is inevitable, but I still hold out hope.

I don't think the first days are the worst, because you can easily rationalize that she is busy with work, or family, or some other issue that has to take priority. (And that very well could be the truth.) But when it extends for weeks, or even months, then you are faced with the realization that maybe the relationship wasn't what you thought it was. Then you start to question your judgment and wisdom, and that's the worst part.

Oh my, I haven't even considered getting to the weeks or months...

 

[Carmina24]

The Fisherman

The sea is his companion,
and his adversary.
She pulls at him with her restless hands,
tests him with storms,
and marks his skin with salt and sun.

Through long hours he labors,
setting traps, hauling nets,
fingers cut by rope,
back bent to the mercy of the tide.
Danger walks beside him -
in sudden winds, in waves that rise too high,
in nights when the stars hide their light.

Among shrimps and crabs,
he pulls from the deep what the sea allows.
But once, the ocean gave him something rarer.
Me, he says.

And when he tells me
that I am the catch that changed the story of his sea,
I believe him -
for I see it in the way his eyes soften,
in the way his hands hold me
as if I am the one thing
that will never slip away.

He is the Fisherman -
enduring, steadfast, true.
And I am the harbor
he never knew he’d find.

A Small Request from Me

You all know I tend to bring my personal chaos here - insomnia, caffeine highs, and all -
but tonight feels a little heavier on the heart.

Someone very dear to me, and a familiar name in our corner of Lit, has been silent for a few days now.
If you can spare a quiet moment, please send a prayer, a kind thought,
or even just a little light toward The Fisherman -
for his health, his safety, and calm seas around him.
May he feel every bit of care that crosses the ocean for him.

One prayer is like one lit candle… and if we all say a prayer,
we may light enough candles for him to find his way back to shore.

Thank you, my friends, for holding space with me tonight.

 

[Finger8]

Hi guys, just popped in to say hello, and to ask a question. Have you ever been ghosted? How did you handle it? The first days seem to be the hardest, aren't they?

Ghosting can be a bit of a shock to the system, as you don't really expect it. Things may seem to be flowing along fine and then just nothing. In the end, unless there was some kind of catalyst or conflict, often just short attention spans could be the culprit. Remember, it is a reflection of them, not you. I think impatience could also be a factor. If they are not getting what they want out of the conversation (without you even knowing what that is), some just move on without a word. I am not a model chat person by any means, but even if my responses are minimal, I always try and respond, even if I am inconsistent with my visits. I get that it can be a perplexing situation, as ultimately it leads you to wonder if you did something, but really I think you can chalk it up to them and their own issues.

 

[jacfox]

Phoenix in the Ashes

There was a time I believed I was ugly.

Not because of my face or body -
but because of the way his eyes refused to linger. Because night after night,
I lay beside him like a ghost no one touched. Because silence in the bed became silence in my soul.

A sexless marriage can do that. It teaches you to disappear. It feeds you lies: You are unwanted. You are not enough. You are nothing.

And I believed them.
I carried those words like chains.
I bowed my head in the mirror,
and all I saw was rejection staring back at me.
Not a woman. Not a flame.
Just ugly.

But embers never die so easily.

Beneath the weight of silence, beneath the years of being unseen, a spark still throbbed. Small. Dangerous. Patient.

And one day, I remembered:
My dignity was never his to grant.
My beauty was never his to erase.
My fire was never his to extinguish.

It was mine.
Always mine.

That was the moment the chains cracked.
The moment the ashes shifted.
The moment the wings unfurled.

I rose.

Not quietly. Not gently.
But feral, flaming, furious.
Every “ugly” I had swallowed
turned to kindling in my throat.
Every rejection became fuel.
Every cold night became heat.

I am not his discarded body.
I am not his silence.
I am not his blindness.

I am the Phoenix -
beautiful in flame,
terrible in rebirth,
too bright to ignore,
too wild to cage.

He can look away.
He can sleep in his cold bed.
He can turn his back on the fire.

But I am burning.
I am alive.
I am magnificent.

And I will rise again and again,
from every ash,
from every silence,
from every place where I was told I was nothing.

Ugly? No.
Never again.

I am flame,
and flame does not ask for permission to shine.

Heartaching and beautiful

 

[jacfox]

The Lit Confessional

It begins with a whisper.
A sentence typed in the dark,
hands trembling, heart quickening,
as though we are not simply writing -
but confessing.

Lit is no ordinary place.
Here, words are not small talk.
They are offerings,
laid bare at the altar of desire.

We speak what we silence outside.
We reveal what we hide in daylight.
And in doing so,
we discover we are not alone.

Confessions take many forms here.
A fetish too delicate to reveal to a lover,
for fear their eyes would harden with judgment.
An affair carried in secret,
its sweetness and sin spilling onto the page.
Fantasies that live only in our heads -
worlds too wild to survive the daylight,
but safe to bloom in midnight words.
And sometimes, the smallest truths:
that the tie worn in the boardroom by day
is the same one that binds our wrists by night.

Every post is a prayer.
Every comment, a candle lit.
Every story,
a confession of hunger,
of longing,
of truth too sharp for the waking world.

And the miracle is this:
confession here is never met with shame.
Here, what we fear will condemn us
instead redeems us.
What we thought was darkness
becomes light in another’s eyes.

We come to Lit seeking release,
but find something more -
absolution in being seen,
forgiveness in being understood,
grace in the simple act of speaking aloud
what we once thought unspeakable.

This is the Lit Confessional.
Not a place of judgment,
but of revelation.
Not a place of silence,
but of voices finally freed.

And if you listen closely,
beneath every story,
every thread,
every trembling line -

you will hear the same truth:
We are not sinners here.
We are believers in our own desire.

And desire, once confessed,
is never caged again.

So good! Some wonderful lines, and nails the message

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Those we care about the most are often the most exposed to our least desirable traits.

Jealousy, anger, greed, hate, envy, impatience, lethargy, ambiguity, gluttony, apathy etc

Yet they remain steadfast in their unwavering support because they also need and desire someone who they can trust to be able let their guard down, relax and not worry about the consequences of revealing their own least desirable traits.

Many, maybe even most, will never find their soul mate but it is vital you continue searching and hoping that someone somewhere out there is looking for the same thing and maybe your paths will cross in the near future.

I wish all good luck in their search

 

[Carmina24]

Floating an Idea: The Lantern Network

Hi friends, I wanted to share a thought that’s been sitting with me lately.

We all know that silence here on Lit can mean many things - life happens, people get busy, or sometimes… something unexpected happens in real life. Behind every screen is a real person - someone with a heartbeat, a story, and people who might worry if they suddenly go quiet.

So I’ve been thinking: what if there were a gentle, voluntary way for people who want it to have a "check-in buddy" - someone who could discreetly reach out if they go silent for a few days?

Before anything else, ask yourself this question:
Is there someone in Lit who, if they suddenly went silent - and you had no way of reaching out - would make you inconsolable?

If yes, then maybe this kind of quiet safety net would make sense for some of us.

I imagine it would be very private, based purely on trust, and only for those who want that kind of peace of mind. The idea isn’t to monitor anyone - it’s simply to make sure that if someone’s absence isn’t by choice, there’s at least one light looking out for them.

If something like that were ever set up, I think it would need:
Careful choice of who’s involved - only someone you deeply trust.
Absolute discretion and consent.
The ability to withdraw anytime.

I’m not organizing anything - just floating the idea to see what everyone thinks.
Would something like this feel comforting, or too personal for our space? Again, this is purely voluntary.

Curious to hear your thoughts.

- Mistress Mischief Maker

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Floating an Idea: The Lantern Network

Hi friends, I wanted to share a thought that’s been sitting with me lately.

We all know that silence here on Lit can mean many things - life happens, people get busy, or sometimes… something unexpected happens in real life. Behind every screen is a real person - someone with a heartbeat, a story, and people who might worry if they suddenly go quiet.

So I’ve been thinking: what if there were a gentle, voluntary way for people who want it to have a "check-in buddy" - someone who could discreetly reach out if they go silent for a few days?

Before anything else, ask yourself this question:
Is there someone in Lit who, if they suddenly went silent - and you had no way of reaching out - would make you inconsolable?

If yes, then maybe this kind of quiet safety net would make sense for some of us.

I imagine it would be very private, based purely on trust, and only for those who want that kind of peace of mind. The idea isn’t to monitor anyone - it’s simply to make sure that if someone’s absence isn’t by choice, there’s at least one light looking out for them.

If something like that were ever set up, I think it would need:
Careful choice of who’s involved - only someone you deeply trust.
Absolute discretion and consent.
The ability to withdraw anytime.

I’m not organizing anything - just floating the idea to see what everyone thinks.
Would something like this feel comforting, or too personal for our space? Again, this is purely voluntary.

Curious to hear your thoughts.

- Mistress Mischief Maker

Yes it is a good idea to have multiple ways to contact each other.

Do not rely upon lit staying up forever. I use Signal mostly as my backup contact method. I have used email in the past also. I also have discord and telegram and Google chat but Signal is by far the best IMO.

Meet people on lit, connect via Signal, and then lit becomes the backup method.

But yes I do need to figure out a way to let my online friends get information on my status if I become incapacitated or worse.

I am active every day on lit and on Signal so a multi day absence would have them worrying and I don't want that.

 

[subdudeme13]

I am a bit older than the average Lit person. I have friends in "real life" I cannot get in touch with, fellows I served with in the AF. There are also people I see now several times a week that I do not have contact information but I know them by their first name and chat with them daily. All this is to say I think a Latern Network is a great idea. The implimentation would require thought and planning and I imagine the idea we are talking about here would be for Lit and the online environs.

Now where did I put my dog tags?

 

[Carmina24]

A Small Request from Me

You all know I tend to bring my personal chaos here - insomnia, caffeine highs, and all -
but tonight feels a little heavier on the heart.

Someone very dear to me, and a familiar name in our corner of Lit, has been silent for a few days now.
If you can spare a quiet moment, please send a prayer, a kind thought,
or even just a little light toward The Fisherman -
for his health, his safety, and calm seas around him.
May he feel every bit of care that crosses the ocean for him.

One prayer is like one lit candle… and if we all say a prayer,
we may light enough candles for him to find his way back to shore.

Thank you, my friends, for holding space with me tonight.

Friends, The Fisherman is in the hospital, which was why we didn't have contact for a few days.
May I request if you can say a short prayer for his speedy recovery, or send healing intentions his way? I appreciate all of you.

 

[Carmina24]

Floating an Idea: The Lantern Network

Hi friends, I wanted to share a thought that’s been sitting with me lately.

We all know that silence here on Lit can mean many things - life happens, people get busy, or sometimes… something unexpected happens in real life. Behind every screen is a real person - someone with a heartbeat, a story, and people who might worry if they suddenly go quiet.

So I’ve been thinking: what if there were a gentle, voluntary way for people who want it to have a "check-in buddy" - someone who could discreetly reach out if they go silent for a few days?

Before anything else, ask yourself this question:
Is there someone in Lit who, if they suddenly went silent - and you had no way of reaching out - would make you inconsolable?

If yes, then maybe this kind of quiet safety net would make sense for some of us.

I imagine it would be very private, based purely on trust, and only for those who want that kind of peace of mind. The idea isn’t to monitor anyone - it’s simply to make sure that if someone’s absence isn’t by choice, there’s at least one light looking out for them.

If something like that were ever set up, I think it would need:
Careful choice of who’s involved - only someone you deeply trust.
Absolute discretion and consent.
The ability to withdraw anytime.

I’m not organizing anything - just floating the idea to see what everyone thinks.
Would something like this feel comforting, or too personal for our space? Again, this is purely voluntary.

Curious to hear your thoughts.

- Mistress Mischief Maker

Why the Lantern Network Was Born

Some of you have seen me mention the Lantern Network above.
I wanted to share how it came to be.

A few days ago, The Fisherman - someone very dear to me - went silent. There was no way to reach him beyond Lit. No number, no email, no real-life contact at all. I didn’t know if he’d left, if he was hurt, or if he’d ever read another message from me again.

After days of searching and hoping, I found out he had been hospitalized and is still confined. He’s safe now and getting the care he needs - but those days of silence were some of the hardest I’ve known.

That’s why I floated the idea of the Lantern Network: a quiet, private way for each of us to have at least one trusted person who can hold light for us if something unexpected happens.
You never know when a storm will hit -when illness, travel, or even real-life responsibilities might suddenly cut a line of communication.

For those whose Lit relationships require discretion - especially when one or both are attached - this can still be done with care and privacy.

If you’re thinking of setting up a similar arrangement, and want guidance on how to do it safely and respectfully, I’d be happy to help. No one should have to go through days or weeks of not knowing if someone they care about is okay.

Let’s keep the lights on for each other.

 

[Shygentleman2]

Hi guys, just popped in to say hello, and to ask a question. Have you ever been ghosted? How did you handle it? The first days seem to be the hardest, aren't they?

The ghosting piece is weird to me. I get that many/most of these relationships aren't permanent. Maybe it's just me but common courtesy is to say goodbye.
There was one that stands out to me...we talked for months. Shared our hopes and dreams. We were intimate for most of the time. And one day there were no responses from her. I, of course was worried that she was OK. Sent a "hi" message for a couple of days. Still no response. Decided to drop my attempts after a week. A month later I decided to put myself out there again. I came across her profile by accident. She posted that she was looking again. The day of her post was the day she stopped responding to me...sigh...so much for her caring. Apparently she was fine. She had just discarded me without a care in the world. Or a spine to just say goodbye

 

[jacfox]

The ghosting piece is weird to me. I get that many/most of these relationships aren't permanent. Maybe it's just me but common courtesy is to say goodbye.
There was one that stands out to me...we talked for months. Shared our hopes and dreams. We were intimate for most of the time. And one day there were no responses from her. I, of course was worried that she was OK. Sent a "hi" message for a couple of days. Still no response. Decided to drop my attempts after a week. A month later I decided to put myself out there again. I came across her profile by accident. She posted that she was looking again. The day of her post was the day she stopped responding to me...sigh...so much for her caring. Apparently she was fine. She had just discarded me without a care in the world. Or a spine to just say goodbye

It is gutless, for sure. The only thing you can say is that someone that superficial isn't worth your grief, though at first you of course have no way of knowing!