Being autistic, adhd and random stuff

[PMarky2]

Absolutely. ADHD/OCD. A pain, but unique and sometimes comical. . Not gonna lie, can be a pain and extremely inconvenient, but still sometimes funny

Some times my wife tries to "correct" the way I do things. I then try to patiently explain to her that I find that the most comfortable way for me to do something and that to change the routine would be terribly disconcerting. Thankfully, she has accepted that I have my little ways, and changing them is not worth the hassle it causes us both. This is one area where being diagnosed has been helpful.

 

[stickygirl]

Some times my wife tries to "correct" the way I do things. I then try to patiently explain to her that I find that the most comfortable way for me to do something and that to change the routine would be terribly disconcerting. Thankfully, she has accepted that I have my little ways, and changing them is not worth the hassle it causes us both. This is one area where being diagnosed has been helpful.

I was lucky with one gf before I was diagnosed. We used to do a trip to the big supermarket on the edge of town, that has a car park you could land a plane on. I used to be on edge shopping anyway, but a few times when we got to the car park, it was almost full. I remember turning to her the first time to say "I'm sorry, I can't go in. Not when it's this full." and to her credit, she just said 'Yeah, okay. We can come back another time.'
That's the sort of simple accommodation we all need.

My nearest supermarket now has weird lighting and there's something about the aisles that freak me out. I very seldom go there, but my bf does if he's alone.

 

[Statius]

I was lucky with one gf before I was diagnosed. We used to do a trip to the big supermarket on the edge of town, that has a car park you could land a plane on. I used to be on edge shopping anyway, but a few times when we got to the car park, it was almost full. I remember turning to her the first time to say "I'm sorry, I can't go in. Not when it's this full." and to her credit, she just said 'Yeah, okay. We can come back another time.'
That's the sort of simple accommodation we all need.

My nearest supermarket now has weird lighting and there's something about the aisles that freak me out. I very seldom go there, but my bf does if he's alone.

Understanding is everything. The only one who ever has is the one I married. Amazing. She goes about it in such a quiet way it blows my mind.

 

[PMarky2]

Understanding is everything. The only one who ever has is the one I married. Amazing. She goes about it in such a quiet way it blows my mind.

I have favourite times for going to the supermarket. Between 9:30am and 10:30am is one because the after the school run crowd has gone, and the old folks have either been and gone, or not got there yet. The is another dead time in the afternoon but that is less reliable. Both of my regular supermarkets have recently reorganized their displays eliminating the middle cross aisle, which makes it much easier to get blocked in by "aisle hogs." This has not made the shopping experience any less stressful. The neighbourhood Walmart used to have a quiet hour in the morning, "for the convenience of those with sensory challenges" but that seems to have disappeared in the last re-jig.

 

[stickygirl]

There's nothing at all funny about echolalia and when I get such an eye-worm it drives me nuts. Apparently the repetition can be calming/regulating for some folks on the spectrum. It isn't an exclusively ASD thung and can be a symptom of a variety of conditions: anything from Tourettes to dementia.

Not quite the same thing, but today, when I was cleaning at home, I found myself replaying a conversation I'd had fifteen years ago. There's was no link between what I was doing and the previous convo, which was a friend asking me advice about breaking up with their SO. Someone once suggested that saying the words out loud can break the spell, but this was a five minute tableau and I can only recall the circumstance, not the script.

 

[stickygirl]

Here's a thing I've noticed and maybe it's an autie thing, maybe not? I came back from a week's vacation with a couple of medical problems ( eye infection, super bad chest - not covid ). Because it was the weekend I had to wait till this morning to drive to the surgery to boss my way into getting an appt.

As soon as I had that appt for 3pm ( amazing NHS ) I started to feel better. The stress of not-knowing if I could get seen, of having to be determined and being pushy about my wellbeing, uses up a lot of masking energy. I'm home now, with eyedrops and though I still have the nasty cough, I feel so relieved things are happening.

I suspect simply being ill and how it deregulates our life is a common issue for auties.

 

[PMarky2]

Here's a thing I've noticed and maybe it's an autie thing, maybe not? I came back from a week's vacation with a couple of medical problems ( eye infection, super bad chest - not covid ). Because it was the weekend I had to wait till this morning to drive to the surgery to boss my way into getting an appt.

As soon as I had that appt for 3pm ( amazing NHS ) I started to feel better. The stress of not-knowing if I could get seen, of having to be determined and being pushy about my wellbeing, uses up a lot of masking energy. I'm home now, with eyedrops and though I still have the nasty cough, I feel so relieved things are happening.

I suspect simply being ill and how it deregulates our life is a common issue for auties.

The last is certainly an issue. I am very dependent on a loose routine and when that gets disrupted I am all over the place, and feel "off" even when I am not sick.

 

[Strixaluco]

For me it's worse after the illness, trying to get my broken routines back to working order while still convalescent.

 

[PMarky2]

For me it's worse after the illness, trying to get my broken routines back to working order while still convalescent.

Yes - you are trying to clamber back into your routine, and you body keeps saying, "not yet, buddy!" It is rather disconcerting, and very frustrating because what bit of patience one has has gone out of the window with feeling crappy anyway.

Today is being a swine. I had a lengthy interview on Zoom this morning doing my academic thing, so that was an hour of trying not to look too Autie, always assuming that I know what Autie looks like apart from the reflection in the mirror and various other folks who are in 'the ASD Club.' Now my wife has announced that we need to go check out a printing firm because our old printer retired and sold up. I so much do not want to do that after yesterday, and being online this morning. I am not in the mood for strangers.

 

[Strixaluco]

Yes - you are trying to clamber back into your routine, and you body keeps saying, "not yet, buddy!" It is rather disconcerting, and very frustrating because what bit of patience one has has gone out of the window with feeling crappy anyway.

Not only that, but getting routines ever back to working order is a pain. Even when healthy. And damn do they get broken easily.

 

[stickygirl]

Pregnant women can now be blamed for causing autism according to the US Health Minister. Strange, because I'd assumed autism was caused by woke-ism and eating too many greens. I presume if it's alleged a woman has taken Tylenol then they can be charged with assault? I wonder if putting a UV lightbulb up your ass or drinking bleach might mitigate the effects?

 

[Strixaluco]

Pregnant women can now be blamed for causing autism according to the US Health Minister. Strange, because I'd assumed autism was caused by woke-ism and eating too many greens. I presume if it's alleged a woman has taken Tylenol then they can be charged with assault? I wonder if putting a UV lightbulb up your ass or drinking bleach might mitigate the effects?

And when high fever during early pregnant causes something else, I guess they will again be blaming the women...

 

[MrPimms]

Pleased to have found this thread!

After being recent diagnosed, it’s still a learning. I’ve always had my way of doing things that brings a degree of comfort, and whole new levels of discomfort when things are not right.

I feel awkward around people. Overwhelm in social situations happens all too often, then comes the inevitable withdraw.

 

[PMarky2]

Pregnant women can now be blamed for causing autism according to the US Health Minister. Strange, because I'd assumed autism was caused by woke-ism and eating too many greens. I presume if it's alleged a woman has taken Tylenol then they can be charged with assault? I wonder if putting a UV lightbulb up your ass or drinking bleach might mitigate the effects?

Given the Department of Health and Human Services track record I would say anyone who can think from A to B will regard this theory of bunk. However, given what the Department of Education has done for academic standards over the last forty year, how many people can think from A to B?

Sorry, I am letting my cynicism show, but then being ASD I am good at seeing patterns...

Dealing with the new printers did not prove to be too bad yesterday, and actually ended up being the most appealing part of a not very satisfactory day. There was even some entertainment in the form of Norfolk-Southern switching the exchange sidings down by the print shop.

 

[AchtungNight]

Didn’t that guy all the MAGA crowd mourned a couple days ago say autism was a superpower? I don’t like everything about it, but it’s who I am and has plenty of stuff worth respecting. I’m proud of who I am.

 

[stickygirl]

Pleased to have found this thread!

After being recent diagnosed, it’s still a learning. I’ve always had my way of doing things that brings a degree of comfort, and whole new levels of discomfort when things are not right.

I feel awkward around people. Overwhelm in social situations happens all too often, then comes the inevitable withdraw.

Most auties find it takes a few months to get used to a fresh diagnosis and what it 'means' to your life. Take things slowly, be kind to yourself and I hope like many folks, you'll be more at peace with yourself and the world.

 

[stickygirl]

Now that JFKRJnr ( three letter abbreviations suck ) I mean the man with the over-done steak face, not the woman with the pancake face and cigar... Yes him. Now he's found a cause for autism, is he going find the cause for dyslexia? Because that causes the US economy huge amounts of money bigly and is a terrible, terrible thing. I'm putting my money on indigestion tablets taken by pregnant women with heartburn: they should learn to tough it out.

 

[stickygirl]

One thing that a diagnosis hasn't helped is understanding people's ( subtle ) humour. I'll read some posts in threads over and over, trying to understand the humour while everyone else is posting . Very occasionally I'll asked someone to explain the joke I'm not getting, but usually I'll just nod blank-faced and say 'Oh. Right.'
It's even more frustrating when it's someone I admire and I want to learn from them.

 

[PMarky2]

One thing that a diagnosis hasn't helped is understanding people's ( subtle ) humour. I'll read some posts in threads over and over, trying to understand the humour while everyone else is posting . Very occasionally I'll asked someone to explain the joke I'm not getting, but usually I'll just nod blank-faced and say 'Oh. Right.'
It's even more frustrating when it's someone I admire and I want to learn from them.

Humour is a weird thing anyway. I tend to do best with comedians who highlight the absurd side of life, and I also enjoy puns and word-play provided it is not too subtle or ridiculous. Some shows just totally pass me by because the scriptwriters' sense of humour sits firmly in one of my blind-spots.

 

[stickygirl]

Humour is a weird thing anyway. I tend to do best with comedians who highlight the absurd side of life, and I also enjoy puns and word-play provided it is not too subtle or ridiculous. Some shows just totally pass me by because the scriptwriters' sense of humour sits firmly in one of my blind-spots.

I suspect it's the in-jokes that leave me cold - and Lit gives opportunity for them. I like to think I can be witty, but yeah some folks it's 'meh'.

 

[Statius]

I suspect it's the in-jokes that leave me cold - and Lit gives opportunity for them. I like to think I can be witty, but yeah some folks it's 'meh'.

Agreed. Seen many a post with 2 or 3 pple going back and forth laughing away, at what? I've moved on from many for that reason.

 

[Strixaluco]

One thing that a diagnosis hasn't helped is understanding people's ( subtle ) humour.

It just explains why you struggle with it...

 

[PMarky2]

Diagnosis for me provided a lot of answers in the 'ok, so that is probably why I do such-and-such' category. For some of the others, I now have a framework of reference to try to work out what is going on, especially as with both mild ASD and mild inattentive ADHD there is always a little bit of a civil war going on.

This past weekend was a case in point. I had to be social both Saturday and Sunday, and I knew both were coming but I was not prepared for how it turned out. The church men's breakfast had a small attendance, so I could not be a wall flower and had to carry far more of the conversation than usual. Sunday morning we had a large baptismal party in addition to the usual folks, and I was overwhelmed by the number of folks, and could not connect to my safe people because there were too many half-strangers around.

I have been amazed/appalled ever since I realized that I have to do it at how much energy I expend worrying about unknowns and trying to evolve coping strategies, or pace things so I do not burn out or meltdown. I always thought it was due to the fact that I was weird, bookish, and introverted, but a lot of it is traceable back to the ND party pack that I was issued with.

Today is not off to a good start. The milk was sour, so I am having to drink black coffee.

 

[Strixaluco]

I always thought it was due to the fact that I was weird, bookish, and introverted, but a lot of it is traceable back to the ND party pack that I was issued with.

Yes, as it's exhausting even for extroverted ND people too.

One reason why the classic personality tests don't work on us. "party or library" - well what kind of party, who's there, how many etc etc... And what library?

 

[PMarky2]

Yes, as it's exhausting even for extroverted ND people too.

One reason why the classic personality tests don't work on us. "party or library" - well what kind of party, who's there, how many etc etc... And what library?

EXACTLY!!!

Of course, I have always thought a sedate cocktail party in a good library might be a perfectly rational solution to that problem.