Making allowances at home

[Rob_Royale]

Until a year ago, I had a shift-work job that left me oodles of time to write. Then things changed and I was back to the Mon-Fri 9-5 and that all changed. As a married fella I struggled to get my creative time without neglecting my wife and our life together. I married a pretty smart gal and she began to see my frustrations and recognized them and made some suggestions.

My hobby room was also my computer room and it meant when we were both on the computer we were across the house from each other. So, an additional PC desk was bought for the bedroom where her PC is and my wife decided to get involved in PC games again. Something we had both given up as a time-sink.

Now, weekdays we each spend an hour before bed on our PCs, a few hours Saturday morning and then as we want on Sundays. The agreement has done wonders for both of us. She has missed her gaming and I my writing and now we do them within feet of each other and there's no neglect of each other or our lives.

Has anyone else made adjustments within the home to get your smut time and still maintain the peace between you?

 

[Erozetta]

My husband and I game together and sometimes he'll game while I write, but we're in the same room (ish, were within 10' of each other.)


I have two desks, one in the dining room, and one in my closet. The closet desk is for audio work and podcasting. Clothes make for good sound dampening it turns out.

The dining room is next to the living room, which is where my husband's desk is set up.

The one thing this hasn't fixed is my ability to completely fucking tune out anything not on my computer screen.

Not too long ago, I was apparently not responding to my real name, so he yelled, "Liz!" I responded and he got mad, lol. But, like, him saying my real name is normal and easily tuned out. Him calling me by my pen name causes a bit of a brain malfunction that says something unnatural has happened and I need to pay attention to whatever just happened that wasn't part of our normal.

Yeah, the tuning him out part I haven't found a solution for yet. But he knows I get highly focused on projects. He literally keeps putting ice water and cut up apples and such in front of me so I'll drink water and eat while writing.

 

[StillStunned]

My wife doesn't mind me writing, as long as it's sexy stuff that she'll enjoy when I read it to her. It's really one of the main reasons why I write erotica.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I write, he bugs me.
I blow him, he goes away.

(Serious answer: we often work very different shifts, so I get plenty of time)

 

[iwatchus]

Since we share an office at work as well, my SO and I see plenty of each other, so it's not really a problem. My SO has done some reading for me, not as much as I would have liked, but more so recently. They're relieved I have something to do moving into retirement. And not at all surprised by how obsessive I can be about it -- we have been together for 45 years and know each other very well by now.

By son and his partner mover back in with us this summer -- he's out of work currently and she's a college student, actually taking a class from me this semester. He knows about my writing but doesn't really want to think about one of his parents writing erotica and the other reading it. His partner would like to be a writer; she and I have had some good conversations about writing.

But I'm still working half time -- back to the grading salt mines for me.

 

[THBGato]

I'm lucky* in that my SO and I work together, so we spend a lot of time together. She's a writer too, so she understands. I use a PC ib the corner of the sitting room, so I'm still around when I'm writing.

*Initially, I accidentally typed "licky". Nearly didn't correct it as it's also true.

 

[MrPixel]

Sadly, my writing has become a point of friction. "All I ever see is the back of your head!" is the current catchphrase. I keep insisting that she pursue her hobbies... fuck - we have a 3000 square foot building for them... but she refuses to leave the house. Right now she's into the third hour of her usual "brief" nap, an everyday occurrence she blames on the dog for waking her up too early. I need to wake her up to get dressed for lunch.

Depression will do that.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Making allowances at home​

It’s nice to be in the same room, which is easy enough as I write on my phone. He does his photo editing, and I write. I also write when he is away on business.

 

[lovecraft68]

I think my wife and I are the only adults left that don't game.

Because I don't, I have plenty of time to create my own stuff and not get sucked down the rabbit hole of someone else's money making concept.

Time together is important, but when you are literally setting up a schedule of "okay now, when I do this, you do that, and every night we'll..." you lose all spontaneity and its as hollow as if you weren't spending time together. Well, we're in the same room while we ignore each other. That's not exactly what I'd call an allowance, but then again that word and marriage don't jive with me.

There's nights I do my thing, my wife does here and there's nights we spend a lot of time together, we don't plan either, we go by how we feel. Do we still understand what feelings are? I question that sometimes.

Blessed be the internet for destroying everything individual.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I think my wife and I are the only adults left that don't game.

I think the last time I played a game was Minesweeper that came with with Win 98.

Always hated 'gaming'.

 

[MrPixel]

I think the last time I played a game was Minesweeper that came with with Win 98.

Always hated 'gaming'.

Yeah. 'Bout the same here. I rolled my eyes at the RPG the guys would mess with on the TTY33's at school. I had other, more rewarding hobbies. "On your left is a door." Nah. I'll pass.

 

[iwatchus]

Yeah. 'Bout the same here. I rolled my eyes at the RPG the guys would mess with on the TTY33's at school. I had other, more rewarding hobbies. "On your left is a door." Nah. I'll pass.

That was one of the last games I played

 

[AG31]

Hubby knows nothing about my erotica world. After 55 years of marriage it would just be too hard to explain.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Jeez, you'd think people who write smutty stories in their free time might just be a tad less judgmental about other people's hobbies.

 

[dirk2024]

I think the last online game I played was Farmville.

I do most of my writing on my laptop in the living room. Usually my wife, who knows I'm writing, just not what, is reading or watching TV in the same room.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Jeez, you'd think people who write smutty stories in their free time might just be a tad less judgmental about other people's hobbies.

I know right? But that's life in the AH. You gotta take the bad with the good.

 

[iwatchus]

Jeez, you'd think people who write smutty stories in their free time might just be a tad less judgmental about other people's hobbies.

This is a serious question. What other hobby if being judged? The only thing I have seen discussed is gaming and several of us (including me) commented that we don't play. No disparaging comments at all that I noticed. Did I miss something?

 

[TheRedChamber]

This is a serious question. What other hobby if being judged? The only thing I have seen discussed is gaming and several of us (including me) commented that we don't play. No disparaging comments at all that I noticed. Did I miss something?

I think my wife and I are the only adults left that don't game.

Because I don't, I have plenty of time to create my own stuff and not get sucked down the rabbit hole of someone else's money making concept.

Always hated 'gaming'.

...I rolled my eyes...

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Those are us saying what we like or don't. Not crabbing on others for doing it.

 

[iwatchus]

I don;t like yogurt either. I'm not judging yogurt eaters when I say that. I think someone is being very defensive. It's okay for people not t like your hobby, isn't it?

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Yogurt is great half frozen with fruit added.

 

[TheRedChamber]

If I say...

I walked past the rugby pitch and rolled by my eyes at the grown men chasing a ball. I've always hated quote unquote rugby. It's outrageous how people make money from playing it professionally.

...then my attitude towards rugby is probably a little stronger than 'a very fine sport thats just not for me'

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

If you said that, I'd agree with you.



;~)

 

[VallesMarineris]

I write, he bugs me.
I blow him, he goes away.

(Serious answer: we often work very different shifts, so I get plenty of time)

You do realize, don't you, that you're training him to bug you?

But then, given the proclivities of your FMCs, that may be fine with you.

 

[iwatchus]

If I say...

I walked past the rugby pitch and rolled by my eyes at the grown men chasing a ball. I've always hated quote unquote rugby. It's outrageous how people make money from playing it professionally.

...then my attitude towards rugby is probably a little stronger than 'a very fine sport thats just not for me'

I will grant you the rolled eyes comment was being somewhat judgy. Also note that I was one of the teletype RPG players in a similar timeframe to the ones he was rolling his eyes at. So, if anyone here, that was directed at me. And it was a joke, not much different than someone here would say they rolled their eyes at the mommy sat in my lap crowd.

Us oldies don't really fully understand the gamers. That's largely generational divide. Kind of like tattoos. And piercings.