Looking for Feedback/Constructive Criticism on my stories.

[MidnightLothario]

Hello, I'm a fairly new author, with seven stories published so far. Unfortunately I can't seem to get a lot of traction here. Like anyone else, I'd like to be successful, a novelist eventually. So I'd greatly appreciate any and all feedback and/or constructive criticism concerning my stories. Thank You.

 

[SyleusSnow]

Help potential readers out... include a link to your stories.

 

[AlinaX]

I just read the first few paragraphs of Thistles in the Garden and, honestly, it’s so convoluted I lost the will to continue.

I get the desire to be atmospheric, but… this is extreme.

 

[MidnightLothario]

Help potential readers out... include a link to your stories.

https://www.literotica.com/my/#/works/stories/published

Hope that works. I am such a n00b.

 

[MidnightLothario]

I just read the first few paragraphs of Thistles in the Garden and, honestly, it’s so convoluted I lost the will to continue.

I get the desire to be atmospheric, but… this is extreme.

Thank You. I am trying too be a better author. Might I suggest you try Tear You Apart.

I can, work at dialing back the atmosphere.

 

[WCSGarland]

https://www.literotica.com/my/#/works/stories/published

Hope that works. I am such a n00b.

That will only bring anybody to their own works.

 

[Voyeurkenneth]

https://www.literotica.com/my/#/works/stories/published

Hope that works. I am such a n00b.

You’ve gotta grab the url for your story. The one you shared goes straight to a user’s control panel.

 

[MidnightLothario]

That will only bring anybody to their own works.

Well, just go to the search bar and enter my name under members. I am not sure what else to do.

My stories are called "The Thorns In Our Hearts", "Thistles In The Garden", "Deep In The Forest", and "Tear You Apart"

 

[WCSGarland]

All you have to do is click on the title of the story you want reviewed from your control panel and grab the url from the page it brings you to. Easy peasy.

 

[MidnightLothario]

You’ve gotta grab the url for your story. The one you shared goes straight to a user’s control panel.

I don't know how.

https://www.literotica.com/s/tear-you-apart-1

That work?

 

[MidnightLothario]

All you have to do is click on the title of the story you want reviewed from your control panel and grab the url from the page it brings you to. Easy peasy.

Got it, Thanks. Read any?

 

[AlinaX]

https://www.literotica.com/my/#/works/stories/published

Hope that works. I am such a n00b.

btw, the link you're looking for is:
https://www.literotica.com/authors/MidnightLothario/works/stories

You can add this to your signature on the forum side.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Thank You. I am trying too be a better author. Might I suggest you try Tear You Apart.

I can, work at dialing back the atmosphere.

You don't really need to dial back the atmosphere, it suits the story. What you do need to do is pay more attention to your edit - you've got a bunch of avoidable typos, words missing, silly mistakes. Nothing diabolical, but enough to draw attention to the need for a better edit.

Your enthusiasm for your story shows through, though, which for me, made up for the newbie errors.

Coincidentally, my latest work in progress has a similar theme, although it's a female vampire and a male victim, although he doesn't (quite) know it yet. So it was interesting to read another take on the genre.

I gave you a five, for enthusiasm.

 

[MidnightLothario]

You don't really need to dial back the atmosphere, it suits the story. What you do need to do is pay more attention to your edit - you've got a bunch of avoidable typos, words missing, silly mistakes. Nothing diabolical, but enough to draw attention to the need for a better edit.

Your enthusiasm for your story shows through, though, which for me, made up for the newbie errors.

Coincidentally, my latest work in progress has a similar theme, although it's a female vampire and a male victim, although he doesn't (quite) know it yet. So it was interesting to read another take on the genre.

I gave you a five, for enthusiasm.

Thank You so very much. I can work on the editing. I need to work harder, on that aspect.

The positive feedback about the content made my day, I have several more stories in the works right now. I will check your work out as well.

 

[StillStunned]

Thank You so very much. I can work on the editing. I need to work harder, on that aspect.

You might find this thread useful: Self-editing for authors.

 

[MidnightLothario]

You might find this thread useful: Self-editing for authors.

I appreciate it. I think I may have ticked the editors off a bit as of late, lol.