How do I tell my wife I’m bisexual?

[KinkStevens]

Honesty

Ok, thats fine. Doesn’t make sense to me, but thats fine too. I view honesty in this setting as a response. If she ASK you, and you want to be honest, then tell her the truth. But volunteering something that you do not plan on doing, that may cause more problems than solutions just seems silly. Seems like its eating you up to tell her. Idk you, but it still seems like you want some action to follow. Why not tell her you’re attracted to every beautiful woman you pass? “Honey, you’re enough, and I’m not going to fuck her, but I’m really attracted to that woman’s tits and ass” Are you willing to do that to?

 

[KinkStevens]

I’m convinced, you want her to say “Oh honey, go out and suck dick until your little gay heart is content”

Be honest with yourself first then reconsider if it makes sense to tell her.

You have a hope or expectations of her response

 

[leftwantingmore]

I have had my honesty be accepted and understood, only to have that knowledge used to degrade, demean and humiliate me by her. I have also had my honesty accepted, understood and my feelings respected. And never any pain inflicted.
It takes two to be kind and respectful to each other.
If you have that, please cherish it.

 

[leftwantingmore]

Ok, thats fine. Doesn’t make sense to me, but thats fine too. I view honesty in this setting as a response. If she ASK you, and you want to be honest, then tell her the truth. But volunteering something that you do not plan on doing, that may cause more problems than solutions just seems silly. Seems like its eating you up to tell her. Idk you, but it still seems like you want some action to follow. Why not tell her you’re attracted to every beautiful woman you pass? “Honey, you’re enough, and I’m not going to fuck her, but I’m really attracted to that woman’s tits and ass” Are you willing to do that to?

Exactly....
Like I said. Honesty has risks. You take your chances.

 

[KinkStevens]

Exactly....
Like I said. Honesty has risks. You take your chances.

Yup. Its tough wanting to get fucked and drink cum and that meddling wife wouldn’t approve. Drats.

 

[Fistboy]

I’m convinced, you want her to say “Oh honey, go out and suck dick until your little gay heart is content”

Be honest with yourself first then reconsider if it makes sense to tell her.

You have a hope or expectations of her response

You’re right, you don’t know me, how about you leave the analysis until we meet.

 

[Burstplayer]

It's tough to process for most women and loving wives. I'm glad I told mine, when she asked, cause she started to know, (the enthusiasm during pegging was the dead giveaway), but don't expect miracles or even understanding if you do tell her. The best case might be that she doesn't flip out and leave you, which I was afraid of, and thankfully didn't happen. Let her process it and slowly find the ground rules for play that she's comfortable with. In my case , it's just pegging, no guys, which really doesn't work for me..., but I now know the limitations and where she's at with it and that's better than the closet...

 

[KinkStevens]

You’re right, you don’t know me, how about you leave the analysis until we meet.

Hey you posted. If you don’t want engagement then don’t. I hope you’re HONEST later when you post about her letting you out to play.

 

[Fistboy]

Hey you posted. If you don’t want engagement then don’t. I hope you’re HONEST later when you post about her letting you out to play.

You were being judgmental about what YOU THINK I want, not being honest. As I said, you don’t know me, stop projecting.

 

[Rob_Royale]

"Hey babe? Remember that tall guy from the company picnic?"
"Not really. There were a lot of people there."
"Okay, well that was Don, the west coast sales guy. He told me yesterday that he came out as bi-sexual to his wife. Apparently she didn't take it well."

This sort of approach might feel her out on how she might respond. Because she's going to instinctively put herself in Don's wife's shoes.

 

[Fistboy]

"Hey babe? Remember that tall guy from the company picnic?"
"Not really. There were a lot of people there."
"Okay, well that was Don, the west coast sales guy. He told me yesterday that he came out as bi-sexual to his wife. Apparently she didn't take it well."

This sort of approach might feel her out on how she might respond. Because she's going to instinctively put herself in Don's wife's shoes.

Should’ve tried that.

 

[TallOne]

I just can't imagine hiding that part of yourself from your partner in life. Should be able to discuss fantasies even if never acted on and be accepted for who you are. If she thinks the mere idea is disgusting and would leave you over it, she's obviously not the right partner for you.

 

[leftwantingmore]

I just can't imagine hiding that part of yourself from your partner in life. Should be able to discuss fantasies even if never acted on and be accepted for who you are. If she thinks the mere idea is disgusting and would leave you over it, she's obviously not the right partner for you.

Absolutely! This is 100%. This a reflection of where your relationship really is. How respectful and stable your relationship is. Well stated.

 

[TallOne]

Absolutely! This is 100%. This a reflection of where your relationship really is. How respectful and stable your relationship is. Well stated.

Yeah, ideally something that you figure out before marriage. But certainly understand life isn't ideal. But if there's some attribute of yours that your spouse is disgusted by to the point they would leave...would just cross that bridge sooner rather than later. Certainly better off coming in an honest conversation or pillow talk than her finding your porn, online activity like posts here, cheating or what not.

 

[leftwantingmore]

It is the honest exchange of questions and answers that make and keep a good solid relationship.
I consider that common sense. But, let us be honest. You can not teach common sense. Anything is better than "the closet ilfe". That will eat you up from the inside out.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Thank you for your feedback. For various reasons I feel very lost at the moment, and during a conversation about it she asked me a question that made it easier to tell her im bisexual, or at least think I am. She took it a lot better than I thought she would, and even said she'd "known" for years, longer than me. I told her I don't want to act on it and she asked me to be honest if that changes. I told her I'm curious what it would be like but that's as far as it goes ATM.

Honestly, that's about as good a responce as you could have expected. Congrats on getting it out in the open. That must be a weight off your shoulders.

 

[Britva415]

Honesty is good.

But it seems like there was more at stake - didn't you say that the two of you talked about you actually finding a guy to play with? And that after you two talked about that, her attitude toward sex with you changed (no more pegging, for example)?

That's beyond just coming out for honesty's sake.

So, regarding the other poster who was talking about this whole thing in terms of "is she enough" - how did it go from simply coming out of the closet to talking about extramarital sex?

 

[Fistboy]

Honesty is good.

But it seems like there was more at stake - didn't you say that the two of you talked about you actually finding a guy to play with? And that after you two talked about that, her attitude toward sex with you changed (no more pegging, for example)?

That's beyond just coming out for honesty's sake.

So, regarding the other poster who was talking about this whole thing in terms of "is she enough" - how did it go from simply coming out of the closet to talking about extramarital sex?

That wasn’t me

 

[charlie069]

It's tough to process for most women and loving wives. I'm glad I told mine, when she asked, cause she started to know, (the enthusiasm during pegging was the dead giveaway), but don't expect miracles or even understanding if you do tell her. The best case might be that she doesn't flip out and leave you, which I was afraid of, and thankfully didn't happen. Let her process it and slowly find the ground rules for play that she's comfortable with. In my case , it's just pegging, no guys, which really doesn't work for me..., but I now know the limitations and where she's at with it and that's better than the closet...

I envy you. I would love to be able to tell my wife. We don't even have sex anymore and the last few years she has become less accepting of even watching TV /films with sexual content. Porn is a complete no no. As for pegging gtfooh.