When degradation doesn't feel good

[liqueur]

This thread is for people like myself who have a degradation fetish.

Have you ever indulged in degrading behavior, whether it was self-degradation or degradation by another, and walked away from the experience not feeling good? What made the difference? Why does a kink that has felt good many times in the past suddenly feel bad?

If you have experienced this, has it been a one-time thing? Or has it killed the kink for you?

 

[kneelingagain]

some partners could really play with me and twist me or manipulate the situation and the dynamic, it was so very amazing

but others were more focused on what they wanted and sometimes it felt more abusive

 

[BillyWalrus]

I think it depends what you mean by degradation? Some of it can be described as teasing which is just in fun and some of it can be mean spirited.

My girlfriend likes to tease me (and I tease her too) but it's in a friendly or loving way. She just likes to make me laugh but all the same, I am her sub.

 

[Britva415]

Boundaries are important.

I don't have this fetish, and I wouldn't be too interested in playing with someone who did, but, like any other kink, people still have to be on the same page.

I imagine that degradation that is within boundaries is fun but degradation which crosses boundaries would feel very icky.

So, you've got to talk about boundaries and make sure everyone's on the same page.

 

[liqueur]

Okay. I didn't want to get too specific, because I wanted to hear about other people's experiences more than talk about my own. But a little more detail—

I am unpartnered, and because of the comparative remoteness of my location, people I play with are rarely conversant in BDSM concepts like “boundaries.” And, if they’re aware of my degradation kink at all, they understand it only on the most rudimentary and instinctive level. So the degradation I seek is purely personal. No one else is aware of my “game”, or consciously participating in it.

But I see no reason why what I'm encountering couldn't also apply to others who are playing intentionally with intentional partners. Because I'm not talking about crossing boundaries. I'm talking about discovering after the fact that some behaviors that you thought would be not only okay but arousing — aren't. I'm talking about intentional behaviors that afterwards leave you feeling like shit about yourself.

 

[leftwantingmore]

Okay. I didn't want to get too specific, because I wanted to hear about other people's experiences more than talk about my own. But a little more detail—

I am unpartnered, and because of the comparative remoteness of my location, people I play with are rarely conversant in BDSM concepts like “boundaries.” And, if they’re aware of my degradation kink at all, they understand it only on the most rudimentary and instinctive level. So the degradation I seek is purely personal. No one else is aware of my “game”, or consciously participating in it.

But I see no reason why what I'm encountering couldn't also apply to others who are playing intentionally with intentional partners. Because I'm not talking about crossing boundaries. I'm talking about discovering after the fact that some behaviors that you thought would be not only okay but arousing — aren't. I'm talking about intentional behaviors that afterwards leave you feeling like shit about yourself.

While I do not have a degradation kink or a humiliation kink, I find this thread and this post in particular very insightful. It helps me to understand other peoples kinks, feelings and desires. Thanks for posting.