Cheesy lines you have written that amuse the Hell out of you

[EmilyMiller]

In a Taboo-adjacent story I’m working on for Dark Fairytales (no actual blood relatives involved - rather the new husband of a young woman’s step-mother, because of… reasons) I ended up writing:

I seemed to be taking to my femme fatale role like a fuck to daughter.

And I’m still grinning.

 

[StillStunned]

I came up with one today that I really want to use in a story. "Some days you're the demon, some days you're the tormented soul screaming into the infinite blackness."

 

[MrPixel]

Oh, I have cheesy lines everywhere. It's a fact o' life when writing dialog with humor undertones.

"You knew the job was dangerous when you took it!" is one of my favorites. From a scene where the FMC pantsed the MMC in the hardware store is one such occurrence.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

"I want you to savor the taste of my salty nuts."

"Isn't this kind of juvenile?"

"Maybe. I've waited a year to say that line. It sounded better in my head than it does in my ears."

Men. They're never fully grown.

 

[HordHolm]

Not a line I've written (or used, I have to stress), but I had a friend who pulled in a rock club with the immortal line:

"Would you like to come back to my love palace?"

She snorted cider and black out of her nose through laughter, then said yes.

 

[NotWise]

Maggie to Allen in The Orgasm Game:

"Penetrate my mind and fertilize me with your seminal ideas. They'll gestate, and I'll present you with a plan."

 

[TheLobster]

From my recent Summer Lovin' entry:

She evidently loved the sun only a little more than she loved dick -- and, if anyone asked me, I would readily confirm she was getting heaps of vitamin D from either source.

 

[iwatchus]

My current WIP, a ridiculous comedy, is full of awful lines, puns, and jokes.

 

[EmilyMiller]

My current WIP, a ridiculous comedy, is full of awful lines, puns, and jokes.

We need examples…

 

[StillStunned]

The female character in my cyberpunk story for the Born to Run challenge is called Bette Noire.

 

[Djmac1031]

I came up with one today that I really want to use in a story. "Some days you're the demon, some days you're the tormented soul screaming into the infinite blackness."

That sounds like a line that would fit in my Cozbi stories

 

[Djmac1031]

I dunno if it's cheesy, but it amused the hell out of me when i wrote it.

The setting: Cozbi the She-Demon is about to fuck an inexperienced God (aka Alpha) doggie style:

***

Alpha moved into position behind me. I anticipated his thrust but instead, he paused, hesitant.

"Which hole was it again, my love?"

I couldn't help but giggle. "The pink one, hun. Although if you want the brown one, that's fine, but we're gonna need some lube first."

 

[cdstefi]

I don't think it's cheesy as much as devastatingly witty, but in response to some thread somewhere about some practice or other I wasn't into, this popped into my head:

If it's going to be a bone of contention, my boner isn't going to be in contention.

I was ridiculously amused with myself. It's practically Oscar fucking Wilde.

 

[Djmac1031]

If it's going to be a bone of contention, my boner isn't going to be in contention.

that's actually pretty clever. I love good wordplay.

 

[Djmac1031]

I seemed to be taking to my femme fatale role like a fuck to daughter.

I am embarrassed to admit how long it took me to get this...

 

[StillStunned]

That sounds like a line that would fit in my Cozbi stories

Feel free to use it.

 

[SmilingLez]

I had written my prose 'NaN' for the AI human connection challenge. (https://www.literotica.com/p/nan-2) I wasn't happy with one line which was "Few bars". It had to do with a network connection. So I took a walk in our local park. As I was sitting on a bench, I noticed a chihuahua vigorously humping a woman's leg and the owner was yelling "Bad WiFi. Bad WiFi". I giggled and then I knew that was the perfect line.

 

[iwatchus]

We need examples…

The story started as a joke in the coffee house. All of the characters except two (Danielle Foussard, granddaughter of a character in To Catch A Thief and the real life Princess Stephanie) are either characters from stories here are parodies of author's here, focusing on the people involved in the original joke.

I originally described it as Thomas Crown retold in the style of Rocky Horror with a taste of The Little Mischief Theater. It is also gaining a bit of a flavor of Airplane! in its sophistication of humor.

Probably the worst joke in the whole story so far -- but I am still adding more so there is not a floor yet. Danielle Foussard and Hyunna Song are discussing a restaurant in Monte Carlo during their plane flight to Paris.

“Will we go there?”

“Certainement! It is one of the reasons we are coming.”

“I thought we were coming because our hands were in each other’s pussies.”

 

[THBGato]

In my story "what a difference a day makes" two newly minted lesbians are using a double-ended strap-on for the first time, and the one wearing it cums really quickly, squirting as she does:

"Marama, babe, did you just prematurely ejaculate?" she giggles.

"I swear, it's never happened to me before," I say.

"I thought being with a woman would mean I wouldn't have to put up with this sort of thing."

 

[TiberiusPrime]

We need examples…

We need the completed story!

 

[crookedletter]

I am embarrassed to admit how long it took me to get this...

You kinda have to read out loud. Took me a minute too.

 

[EmilyMiller]

You kinda have to read out loud. Took me a minute too.

It’s not quite a Spoonerism, but a partial one.

 

[Melody_Lightdraft2]

Let’s get it out of the way before anyone gets their bridle in a twist, my horsefriend and I are both of age and intimacy is consensual. Yes, he is, “hung like a horse.”
The number of times I hear that old joke, sometimes I think it’s jealousy. What is not in any doubt is that Connor of the Wild Mountain herd is an attentive lover, and handsome with it.

Female human character, and an Anthropomorphic Stallion.

 

[dirk2024]

I wrote a short BDSM story. For some reason I wanted to flirt with Shakespeare. The story ends with:


His cock was hard again, raging for action as he watched his wife twitch on the sawhorse, bindings still holding her in place. As Romeo laid his crown down upon her rosebud, one last question came to his mind.

To lube or not to lube?

 

[EmilyMiller]

I wrote a short BDSM story. For some reason I wanted to flirt with Shakespeare. The story ends with:


His cock was hard again, raging for action as he watched his wife twitch on the sawhorse, bindings still holding her in place. As Romeo laid his crown down upon her rosebud, one last question came to his mind.

To lube or not to lube?

The Bard has become a dynamo