The Art of Getting Lit Laid

[Hornymwtxn]

If there is one thing I have learned, it's that listening is absolutely key. Learn about the person. Get to know the way they they think. Be empathetic to them. Make a deeper connection. The attraction will come if you give valid attention.

I am a really good listener. Rememberer not so much

Ba dum tss

But yes that is probably top of list on building a strong connection.

Thanks for voicing it as I don't think it can be overstated.

 

[IrreverendBoob]

All I can say is that the only thing that has ever worked for me is not trying to get sexting, roleplay, or anything of the sort. Its not a 100% formula, and I've had a lot more conversations that simply stayed that - conversations. But the rare exception that has developed into something more erotic has always done so when I did not try to make it into that. Getting to know someone and building a rapport, mixed with a little casual flirting, can be surprisingly fruitful.

 

[mellowyellows]

I’m sure one of the keys to getting lit laid is to just be around Lit. This could kinda be my shortfall.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

I’m sure one of the keys to getting lit laid is to just be around Lit. This could kinda be my shortfall.

For me lit is where I initially met my online friends so it is a special place for me.

We usually take it off platform just for the easier and quicker messaging with notifications capabilities instead of constantly having to refresh the lit page.

But you still need lit to meet the people. Imo

 

[Hornymwtxn]

All I can say is that the only thing that has ever worked for me is not trying to get sexting, roleplay, or anything of the sort. Its not a 100% formula, and I've had a lot more conversations that simply stayed that - conversations. But the rare exception that has developed into something more erotic has always done so when I did not try to make it into that. Getting to know someone and building a rapport, mixed with a little casual flirting, can be surprisingly fruitful.

I am still learning how to just let it flow without worrying about tje destination.

I suffer with that in real life too.
It seems I am always looking forward and not being able to just live in the current moment and enjoy right now.

But I am way better at it now.

Thanks for sharing what has worked for you!

 

[Carmina24]

Why We Started This Thread

Hornymwtxn and I first crossed paths in the Sexless Marriage thread. What struck us was how many Litsters - ourselves included - have known this season of life, whether we are still in it or carry it as part of our past.

It was in those honest, vulnerable exchanges that the seed for this thread was planted. Despite its outrageous name, our intent is simple: to create a space where chance meetings can spark something meaningful. Where loneliness softens, desire is honored, and connection can blossom into something magical.

Here are four posts I shared in the Sexless Marriage thread. I hope they strike a chord with you, the way those conversations struck one with me.
- Where the Bed Grows Quiet
- The Silence Between Skin
- The Hunger that Hunts Us
- We Are the Phoenixes

 

[Carmina24]

Where the Bed Grows Quiet

There is a silence in some marriages that no one warns you about.
Not the silence of anger, or betrayal, or even indifference.
It is the hush that falls when love is still present, but touch has gone missing.

Nights stretch long. You can hear your own breath, your own pulse. Sometimes, you feel like a ghost in your own life - half of a duet that no longer sings.

We read your words here, and we feel the weight of them. The loneliness that settles between the sheets. The quiet ache of reaching for warmth that never comes.

For those of you living in this silence:
What do you wish your partner knew about the way it feels?
What is the sentence you whisper into the dark that no one has ever heard?

We are listening.
Maybe, if we can share the unspoken,
the quiet will begin to break.

 

[Carmina24]

The Silence Between Skin

We don’t talk enough about the loneliness of being touched less in a world that touches everything but you.

We don’t talk about what it does to your soul when the person who once undressed you with a single glance now looks right through you.

We don’t talk about the nights you lie beside someone and still feel entirely alone.

Sexless marriage.

It’s not just about the act - it’s about the silence. The hollow ache of being undesired. The part of you that slowly stops reaching, stops hoping, stops existing in the way you used to.

And yet - here, in this place called Lit - we find others.

People who know. People who feel.

Writers who give language to what we’ve buried. Readers who understand the sharp edge of longing. Strangers who say, I see you, and mean it in a way that matters more than we can explain.

Sometimes it’s a comment. Sometimes a story. Sometimes a wicked flirt that makes you smile again - for the first time in weeks.

Here, our thoughts are not “too much.”
Here, desire is not shameful.
Here, our imagination doesn’t rot - it blooms.

Lit has become more than an escape. It’s a reclamation. Of pleasure. Of connection. Of the parts of us we thought were gone.

So if you're reading this and feeling that same quiet despair - know this:

You are not the only one who has forgotten what it feels like to be wanted.
And you are not the only one learning to feel alive again through words, mischief, and the magic of being seen.

And if we're lucky - just maybe - we’ll find someone here who doesn’t just understand the loneliness… but knows how to touch it away.

 

[IrreverendBoob]

Where the Bed Grows Quiet

There is a silence in some marriages that no one warns you about.
Not the silence of anger, or betrayal, or even indifference.
It is the hush that falls when love is still present, but touch has gone missing.

Nights stretch long. You can hear your own breath, your own pulse. Sometimes, you feel like a ghost in your own life - half of a duet that no longer sings.

We read your words here, and we feel the weight of them. The loneliness that settles between the sheets. The quiet ache of reaching for warmth that never comes.

For those of you living in this silence:
What do you wish your partner knew about the way it feels?
What is the sentence you whisper into the dark that no one has ever heard?

We are listening.
Maybe, if we can share the unspoken,
the quiet will begin to break.

I've been there, myself; in the end, that silence grew and grew, eventually a gulf which we couldn't bridge. Love? Yes, but no longer intimate, no longer romantic. In the end, the only answer for she and I was to go our separate ways in the hopes that we could both find happiness and passion again. If we had to look elsewhere for that, we loved one another enough to still wish each other the best, and to create the space we both needed to find a spark once more.

 

[Carmina24]

The Hunger That Hunts Us

When touch becomes a memory.
When the nights grow long with nothing but the heat we refuse to unleash.
When our skin aches for collision.
When desire stalks us in the dark, whispering all the things we do not say aloud.

We told ourselves we could starve it.
Chain it. Bury it under duty and routine.
But hunger does not die - it sharpens.
It waits like a predator in the grass, muscles coiled, teeth bared.

And then we came here - in Lit.
To a place where words strip us bare without mercy.
Where glances bite, and sentences bruise in the sweetest way.
Where we remember - we are still dangerous.
Still alive.
Still capable of ruin.

Maybe we will never taste it at home.
But here, at least, we are not tamed.

 

[Carmina24]

We may have been starved… but we learned to set ourselves on fire.

We Are the Phoenixes

The world may see only what we lack.
The beds that stay cold.
The hands we have not felt in years.
The silence where touch should be.

But we know the truth.
We are not diminished by absence.
We are not made smaller because one person forgot how to hold us.

We are the heat we carry in our own bones.
We are the words that set each other on fire here.
We are the rise after ruin — the blaze after the ash.

Here, in Lit, we remind each other:
We are not defined by the hands that failed to reach for us.
We are defined by the way we burn anyway.
By the way we keep rising, again and again — beautiful, fierce, and unbroken.

Let us rise together.
From the beds that stayed cold.
From the nights that swallowed our touch.
From the silence that tried to make us small.

Burn bright. Burn proud.
Let the fire in our bones speak louder than the hands that failed to hold us.
Let every ember find another until we are an inferno.

Burn until the dark remembers our names.
Until it bows to the heat we’ve become.
Until every shadow knows —
we are still here, still fierce, and we will never be tamed.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Why We Started This Thread

Hornymwtxn and I first crossed paths in the Sexless Marriage thread. What struck us was how many Litsters - ourselves included - have known this season of life, whether we are still in it or carry it as part of our past.

It was in those honest, vulnerable exchanges that the seed for this thread was planted. Despite its outrageous name, our intent is simple: to create a space where chance meetings can spark something meaningful. Where loneliness softens, desire is honored, and connection can blossom into something magical.

Here are three posts I shared in the Sexless Marriage thread. I hope they strike a chord with you, the way those conversations struck one with me.
- Where the Bed Grows Quiet
- The Silence Between Skin

I immediately connected with Carmina even before I even knew I would pm her.

I loved her way with words and offering of support and encouragement for those traveling the same path that we have both been down and have suffered from.

Her beacon of hope throwing light into the darkness like lighthouses guiding ships in the night.

 

[IrreverendBoob]

We may have been starved… but we learned to set ourselves on fire.

We Are the Phoenixes

The world may see only what we lack.
The beds that stay cold.
The hands we have not felt in years.
The silence where touch should be.

But we know the truth.
We are not diminished by absence.
We are not made smaller because one person forgot how to hold us.

We are the heat we carry in our own bones.
We are the words that set each other on fire here.
We are the rise after ruin — the blaze after the ash.

Here, in Lit, we remind each other:
We are not defined by the hands that failed to reach for us.
We are defined by the way we burn anyway.
By the way we keep rising, again and again — beautiful, fierce, and unbroken.

Let us rise together.
From the beds that stayed cold.
From the nights that swallowed our touch.
From the silence that tried to make us small.

Burn bright. Burn proud.
Let the fire in our bones speak louder than the hands that failed to hold us.
Let every ember find another until we are an inferno.

Burn until the dark remembers our names.
Until it bows to the heat we’ve become.
Until every shadow knows —
we are still here, still fierce, and we will never be tamed.

You are very gifted in your way with words, managing to get equal parts poetic and visceral, and powerful in both respects. You wrote of never being tamed, and I suspect that the same will hold true of your words. Its not just your heart, your body and your mind which resist any and all efforts to tame you, but your words will remain just as wild and passionate, if not growing stronger as you continue to express yourself. (Not that the implication of room for growth is a criticism, by any means - you're already a far better writer than I; but all of us, in any art, always find room to grow with new inspiration, ongoing efforts, and random bursts of mental, emotional and experiential chaos that unlock things we'd never before imagined.)

I immediately connected with Carmina even before I even knew I would pm her.

I loved her way with words and offering of support and encouragement for those traveling the same path that we have both been down and have suffered from.

Her beacon of hope throwing light into the darkness like lighthouses guiding ships in the night.

My thanks to both of you for what you've created; there's a sort of nobility and beauty in the creation of such spaces.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

You are very gifted in your way with words, managing to get equal parts poetic and visceral, and powerful in both respects. You wrote of never being tamed, and I suspect that the same will hold true of your words. Its not just your heart, your body and your mind which resist any and all efforts to tame you, but your words will remain just as wild and passionate, if not growing stronger as you continue to express yourself. (Not that the implication of room for growth is a criticism, by any means - you're already a far better writer than I; but all of us, in any art, always find room to grow with new inspiration, ongoing efforts, and random bursts of mental, emotional and experiential chaos that unlock things we'd never before imagined.)

My thanks to both of you for what you've created; there's a sort of nobility and beauty in the creation of such spaces.

Thank you for your kind, powerful heartfelt words!

 

[SadieGirl06]

Daily

 

[IrreverendBoob]

Daily

Is that your recommended frequency for getting laid? Or am I just absolutely oblivious to context I should be catching here?

 

[HotwifeBrooksideKC]

Where are all the boys at?

 

[IrreverendBoob]

Where are all the boys at?

At 44, I don't know that I'm what you're referring to as a "boy", but its a word with varying connotations and I don't know which you mean. But, all speculation aside, I'm a male; man, boy, guy - whichever word one may wish to apply.

 

[SadieGirl06]

Is that your recommended frequency for getting laid? Or am I just absolutely oblivious to context I should be catching here?

Nevermind

 

[HotwifeBrooksideKC]

At 44, I don't know that I'm what you're referring to as a "boy", but its a word with varying connotations and I don't know which you mean. But, all speculation aside, I'm a male; man, boy, guy - whichever word one may wish to apply.

 

[Carmina24]

You are very gifted in your way with words, managing to get equal parts poetic and visceral, and powerful in both respects. You wrote of never being tamed, and I suspect that the same will hold true of your words. Its not just your heart, your body and your mind which resist any and all efforts to tame you, but your words will remain just as wild and passionate, if not growing stronger as you continue to express yourself. (Not that the implication of room for growth is a criticism, by any means - you're already a far better writer than I; but all of us, in any art, always find room to grow with new inspiration, ongoing efforts, and random bursts of mental, emotional and experiential chaos that unlock things we'd never before imagined.)

My thanks to both of you for what you've created; there's a sort of nobility and beauty in the creation of such spaces.

@IrreverendBoob
Your words mean more than I can say. I don’t mind being called untamed - in fact, I cherish it. If my words carry a little wildness, it’s only because they are born of truth and fire. In real life, I’m shy - but here in Lit, I am free to run untamed. And yes, I hope my words keep growing stronger, shaped by chaos, laughter, and the ache of living. That growth is part of the joy - we keep stretching into places we’ve never gone before. Thank you for this kindness.

 

[AllAmericanMale]

At 44, I don't know that I'm what you're referring to as a "boy", but its a word with varying connotations and I don't know which you mean. But, all speculation aside, I'm a male; man, boy, guy - whichever word one may wish to apply.

Ouch. I don't think you're on the right path my friend. IMHO.

 

[IrreverendBoob]

Ouch. I don't think you're on the right path my friend. IMHO.

When you're not concerned about where a path leads, there is no right or wrong path. I have no destination in mind, so I'm not so concerned about if there even IS a path.

 

[AllAmericanMale]

When you're not concerned about where a path leads, there is no right or wrong path. I have no destination in mind, so I'm not so concerned about if there even IS a path.

 

[seekingAlpha]

I have found that you can definitely develop a sense of chemistry through someone's posts and comments in the forums. Occasionally there is a post or comment that just reaches out to at a different level, and you feel an instant connection. I think the key is to be honest, direct, and very sexual when deemed appropriate relative to the theme of the discussion. I have gotten "lit laid" by reaching out to some amazing women where their forum posts caused instant chemistry with me as well as women reaching out to me where my posts and comments inspired instant chemistry with them. I also think being a BDSM practitioner helps since we tend to categorize our kinks, have mostly defined roles, and are very clear about what we enjoy doing as well as what we are interested in.