The Art of Getting Lit Laid

[Hornymwtxn]

Thank you for this thread, very insightfull.. One question, are all woman the same? Some might just want a quick roleplay and not interested in small talk...

Thank you for participating!

Not all women are alike, just like not all men are alike.

Some of my successful private messages have started off hot and heavy then developed into a friendship. Some of those have ended after that initial house of fire.

Still others have started very slowly and build and intensify over time.

Like @BDA73 said there is no right or wrong way and each has it's own rhythm.

 

[Finger8]

My experience with messaging is limited. I've spent a bit more time in the chat rooms, but I also approach the two differently. The chats often lean towards more of an immediacy in the moment and don't always lead to a continued exploration. There is also the benefit of themes to guide one into what might be their particular flavor in that moment.

Messaging to me provides a better chance to develop a friendship connection, to get to unravel the layers without a rush to the finish line. In both, I try to appeal to what might be indicated in their profiles and adapt accordingly. Not an expert, by any means. Just trying to navigate just like everyone else.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Another thing I do when searching for a new person to PM with...

Look at the people who have emoji reacted to a post. Read their profile and recent posts and see if they are someone that interests you.

 

[Finger8]

That makes sense. If they like what you like, could be a possibility.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

That makes sense. If they like what you like, could be a possibility.

Yes they may be hesitant to post a public comment on a thread or they are just the shy type.

 

[devilsanus]

It's the patience it takes for a man to let you get to that point, that is a rare thing. By the time I'm asking for a pic from you, my body is in flames

*furiously taking notes...

 

[firefox27eros]

Authenticity matters! Knowing yourself is critical,

I absolutely agree, if I don't know what are my love languages, what are my priorities, what do I like and what I doesn't who else will figure out how can connect to me and how will I feel being loved?

being at comfort with yourself is important.

If we can't love ourselves how can we be able to love someone else even how can we expect someone else will know how to love us?

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Since I am retired with a lot of time on my hands, and do lack patience, I have to remind myself all the time to stop expecting immediate or quick responses as most other people have a way more hectic fast paced lifestyle than my situation.

Also there are some huge time zone differences that must be taken into consideration.

Once I know the locale of a person I put that location into my clock app on the phone. Keeps me from having to do math, and that is a very good thing lol

 

[Biglibido99]

Because this is a non visual site, it has some pluses and some negatives. Pros are that it attracts fewer fakes, hiding behind porn images supposed to be them. Cons is that it means you have to portray yourself with words which interest in your profile & not everyone is good at doing that - me included.
But yes, we all want connection, to be valued for who we are, to be seen and understood.
Giving that to the other person in mutual respect is where the connection deepens and becomes addictive

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Because this is a non visual site, it has some pluses and some negatives. Pros are that it attracts fewer fakes, hiding behind porn images supposed to be them. Cons is that it means you have to portray yourself with words which interest in your profile & not everyone is good at doing that - me included.
But yes, we all want connection, to be valued for who we are, to be seen and understood.
Giving that to the other person in mutual respect is where the connection deepens and becomes addictive

Yes and deciding when or if to take a lit PM to a different platform that allows pic sharing is always a touchy subject.

When to suggest it? How to suggest it? I certainly have fumbled that many times

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Another thing I have had success with is getting in touch with new members of the litverse.

Make a good first impression of yourself and of lit too. I fondly remember the person who first welcomed me to lit and appreciate it to this day!

The literotic personals board is a good place to find them.
https://forum.literotica.com/forums/literotica-personals.13/

 

[Biglibido99]

Yes and deciding when or if to take a lit PM to a different platform that allows pic sharing is always a touchy subject.

When to suggest it? How to suggest it? I certainly have fumbled that many times

I actually like connecting with someone which ignores any visual aspect, it means we're connecting through our personality, not because we look hot.

This is refreshingly different to real world where visual impression can make or break an initial connection and it makes us realise just what assumptions we make based on visuals.

But, yes, going to visual is a natural desire after having formed a strong bond.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

I actually like connecting with someone which ignores any visual aspect, it means we're connecting through our personality, not because we look hot.

This is refreshingly different to real world where visual impression can make or break an initial connection and it makes us realise just what assumptions we make based on visuals.

But, yes, going to visual is a natural desire after having formed a strong bond.

So true.

Our biases based on appearances is shockingly powerful, a leftover instinct from our lizard brains.

While I think it is impossible to eliminate our biases it is critically important to recognize them and takes steps to minimize them

 

[Carmina24]

You know what I think makes all the difference? A thoughtful profile.

It’s not just a list of facts - it’s your voice, your tone, the little sparks that show someone who you are. For me, reading someone’s profile is like meeting their eyes for the first time… that moment where you wonder if there’s a connection waiting to be found.

And just as much, I love when someone takes the time to read mine - like we’ve shared that first look and silently asked, “Could there be more?”

 

[Hornymwtxn]

You know what I think makes all the difference? A thoughtful profile.

It’s not just a list of facts - it’s your voice, your tone, the little sparks that show someone who you are. For me, reading someone’s profile is like meeting their eyes for the first time… that moment where you wonder if there’s a connection waiting to be found.

And just as much, I love when someone takes the time to read mine - like we’ve shared that first look and silently asked, “Could there be more?”

And that reminds me I need to finish reading your stories that you have published here on lit.

 

[LatinaCarmen1980]

The Real Game

Gentlemen, come closer.
I’ll tell you a secret - though I’m not sure I should.

It’s not your body I want at first.
It’s your presence.
Your voice in the morning, your words at night.
The way you slip into my day until I can’t remember when you weren’t there.

We trade stories.
We laugh in the spaces between them.
We build a secret language only we can speak.
And then… you stop chasing.

That’s when I notice.
That’s when I want.

By the time I see the rest of you, it’s not curiosity - it’s hunger.
A slow-burn inferno that’s been building for days, weeks…
and when it breaks, it’s beautiful, ruinous, unforgettable.

Ladies - is it just me?

Men - here’s your lesson:
Woo her, but don’t rush her. Let the story write itself instead of skipping to the last page.
Be present in the small ways: the morning check-in, the shared joke, the question you actually listen to the answer of.
Make her feel seen, not just looked at.
Take your time as if you know the ending will be worth the wait.
Because it will be.
Slow is not passive - slow is deliberate.
It’s the difference between a match that flares and dies… and a fire that burns until she can’t sleep without its heat.
Don’t just want her body - earn her trust, her laughter, her anticipation.
And when she finally asks for more, it will be because she’s starving for you.

That’s the real game.

This. This. This.

Seriously... Have your fun but remember this!

 

[Biglibido99]

You know what I think makes all the difference? A thoughtful profile.

It’s not just a list of facts - it’s your voice, your tone, the little sparks that show someone who you are. For me, reading someone’s profile is like meeting their eyes for the first time… that moment where you wonder if there’s a connection waiting to be found.

And just as much, I love when someone takes the time to read mine - like we’ve shared that first look and silently asked, “Could there be more?”

That reminds me - I must work on mine

 

[Biglibido99]

Jesus, it's hard to find where to edit one's profile - but I stumbled across it eventually

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Jesus, it's hard to find where to edit one's profile - but I stumbled across it eventually

I have only updated mine once.
I think my current one is still good

 

[MissRadiant]

Since I am retired with a lot of time on my hands, and do lack patience, I have to remind myself all the time to stop expecting immediate or quick responses as most other people have a way more hectic fast paced lifestyle than my situation.

Hello, thank you for the invite of the thread, appreciate it.

Patience....I don't expect immediate or quick responses in truth bc real life happens. I come to lit to have fun, keep it a positive distraction. So I have learned to let the word patience come into take your time....why the rush?

 

[Carmina24]

Your Words

In this space, your words are everything.
They are your face — the one I can’t stop staring at.
They are your hands — gripping, steering, leaving marks burned into memory.
They are your eyes — locking on mine, holding me there like a challenge.

They are your truth.
They are your soul.
Every line you give me is a glimpse beneath your skin, revealing more than you meant to - or exactly what you wanted me to see.

Here, your words don’t just guide - they claim. They pull me forward, step by step, until I’m deep inside the world you’ve built… unwilling to leave, because I need to know where the next sentence takes me.

 

[TemptmeTameme]

The Real Game

Gentlemen, come closer.
I’ll tell you a secret - though I’m not sure I should.

It’s not your body I want at first.
It’s your presence.
Your voice in the morning, your words at night.
The way you slip into my day until I can’t remember when you weren’t there.

We trade stories.
We laugh in the spaces between them.
We build a secret language only we can speak.
And then… you stop chasing.

That’s when I notice.
That’s when I want.

By the time I see the rest of you, it’s not curiosity - it’s hunger.
A slow-burn inferno that’s been building for days, weeks…
and when it breaks, it’s beautiful, ruinous, unforgettable.

Ladies - is it just me?

Men - here’s your lesson:
Woo her, but don’t rush her. Let the story write itself instead of skipping to the last page.
Be present in the small ways: the morning check-in, the shared joke, the question you actually listen to the answer of.
Make her feel seen, not just looked at.
Take your time as if you know the ending will be worth the wait.
Because it will be.
Slow is not passive - slow is deliberate.
It’s the difference between a match that flares and dies… and a fire that burns until she can’t sleep without its heat.
Don’t just want her body - earn her trust, her laughter, her anticipation.
And when she finally asks for more, it will be because she’s starving for you.

That’s the real game.

This. 10000000000000000000000%

 

[The_Quiet_Man]

The Real Game

Gentlemen, come closer.
I’ll tell you a secret - though I’m not sure I should.

It’s not your body I want at first.
It’s your presence.
Your voice in the morning, your words at night.
The way you slip into my day until I can’t remember when you weren’t there.

We trade stories.
We laugh in the spaces between them.
We build a secret language only we can speak.
And then… you stop chasing.

That’s when I notice.
That’s when I want.

By the time I see the rest of you, it’s not curiosity - it’s hunger.
A slow-burn inferno that’s been building for days, weeks…
and when it breaks, it’s beautiful, ruinous, unforgettable.

Ladies - is it just me?

Men - here’s your lesson:
Woo her, but don’t rush her. Let the story write itself instead of skipping to the last page.
Be present in the small ways: the morning check-in, the shared joke, the question you actually listen to the answer of.
Make her feel seen, not just looked at.
Take your time as if you know the ending will be worth the wait.
Because it will be.
Slow is not passive - slow is deliberate.
It’s the difference between a match that flares and dies… and a fire that burns until she can’t sleep without its heat.
Don’t just want her body - earn her trust, her laughter, her anticipation.
And when she finally asks for more, it will be because she’s starving for you.

That’s the real game.

Carmina,

You speak words of wisdom for all to see, and I shall do my best to follow them in my connection. It is so true, and surprisingly simple, yet so difficult at the same time.

Speaking as a male representative, he has to understand the give and take -- just how a simple word at the right time makes all the difference. Don't push too hard -- that can be the difficult part. But...ladies, believe in him; he is trying to take his time. He has to understand that there are other things in her life that fills her day -- but it is reassuring to know that she welcomes his affection, even in the smallest ways, as we build toward a deeper and more intimate relationship.

 

[BarbieDoll1982]

That makes sense. If they like what you like, could be a possibility.

Facts

 

[Biggalute]

@Hornymwtxn @Carmina24 I love the idea and purpose of this thread and have enjoyed reading all the posts.

I came to Lit to read smut and then began writing it. I wasn't looking for a connection and didn't join the forums for a number of years and even then it was more for a laugh and a way to waste a bit of time than anything else.

Also I was very skeptical of online relationships and couldn't imagine how people could get so involved.

But I was wrong and have been very fortunate to meet someone very special.

My advice and insight, should anyone want them, would be to be honest and open, (even more important online as we're missing many of the other cues that guide us in real life interactions)

Make the effort to chat and write more than just one sentence, even if you think you've nothing to say-just ramble, it's what we do with people and how we get to know each other and how we become friends and hopefully more