A place to discuss the craft of writing: tricks, philosophies, styles

[SkyBubble]

Can I ask about something specific? Alliteration. I know you can overdo it, and it becomes distracting. But do any other authors like using it? I’m a decidedly dedicated devotee.

A good, clever alliteration can be fun on occasion.

 

[SkyBubble]

Plotting doesn't come naturally to me, so I spend quite a bit of my non-writing time thinking about how to improve it.

Read the beginning; know your ending. Ask yourself "How did we get here?"

 

[StillStunned]

Rad the beginning; know your ending. Ask yourself "How did we get here?"

I'm a pantser. I write to find out the ending. If I know beforehand, I lose the motivation to write it.

What plotting I do takes place midway, when the foundations are in place and I have some idea where the story's going. I rewrite what I have and carry those lines forward towards the end. Elsewhere I've compared it to shaping pottery: you go back and forth, moulding the story until it's aesthetically pleasing.

 

[Publius68]

A good, clever alliteration can be fun on occasion.

If you use alliteration, you have to have a very good reason, or… just commit to the bit and use it evenly throughout the story as a stylistic choice. (Warning: Advanced difficulty)
Accidental alliteration, or indulging that one phrase once that just seems way too good to pass up, always derails the reader.

Just my opinion.

 

[StillStunned]

If you use alliteration, you have to have a very good reason, or… just commit to the bit and use it evenly throughout the story as a stylistic choice. (Warning: Advanced difficulty)
Accidental alliteration, or indulging that one phrase once that just seems way too good to pass up, always derails the reader.

Just my opinion.

I use alliteration to emphasise words or sounds. Even if the reader isn't reading the story aloud, repeated sounds will stand out and draw their attention. It's a useful tool for fixing the reader's eye on whatever you want them to notice.

If a dog walks on "padding paws", it reinforces the image because the reader can almost hear it walking. The antihero's "darkest deeds" will stick in the reader's mind where his "shameful acts" won't. A "smooth smile" has a very different ring to it than an "easy smile".

 

[Publius68]

Two word alliterations weren’t really my focus in my comment. Those come to me easily, and work just as you said.

But as soon as you hit three words or more, you are hanging a lantern on it for the reader.

 

[SkyBubble]

I use alliteration to emphasise words or sounds. Even if the reader isn't reading the story aloud, repeated sounds will stand out and draw their attention. It's a useful tool for fixing the reader's eye on whatever you want them to notice.

In the right circumstances, it can be effective in prose; it's even more effective in poetry.

 

[SkyBubble]

You should do all the “side work” that you need to keep things organized. I have used family tree charts, chronologies, etc. to help keep track of things. If they are helpful, use them.

I wrote the first meeting of the main couple in my most current story. It's briefly referenced in the story, but obviously 99% of it won't fit. But it's a good exercise. It helped me understand my characters better.

 

[SkyBubble]

If a dog walks on "padding paws", it reinforces the image because the reader can almost hear it walking. The antihero's "darkest deeds" will stick in the reader's mind where his "shameful acts" won't. A "smooth smile" has a very different ring to it than an "easy smile".

For another example, you might describe the leaves in an autumn scene as swaying, swinging, swishing, getting that sound of the wind blowing them into the sentence.

 

[Nynah]

@onehitwanda 's latest definitely belongs in here: https://literotica.com/s/painting-with-soft-brush-strokes

Lovely bit of insight into the process of one of AH's preeminent wordsmiths. Recommended reading for anyone who wants to learn how the right words and phrasings can improve your story.

 

[StillStunned]

I stumbled upon an old thread of mine about crafting paragraphs: The IKEA paragraph (note that this has nothing to do with the trope of IKEA sex). If you make it past the bit about the 750-word challenge, there's some useful back and forth.

 

[AG31]

I stumbled upon an old thread of mine about crafting paragraphs: The IKEA paragraph (note that this has nothing to do with the trope of IKEA sex). If you make it past the bit about the 750-word challenge, there's some useful back and forth.

Thanks for that. I recommend it to those who missed it.

 

[SmilingLez]

My first story was published today. I am a poet, so dialogue is not part of my repertoire. Too many times I've tried to craft a story with dialogue (unsuccessfully). Finally, I found a workaround. Only two lines of dialogue.

 

[MelissaBaby]

My first story was published today. I am a poet, so dialogue is not part of my repertoire. Too many times I've tried to craft a story with dialogue (unsuccessfully). Finally, I found a workaround. Only two lines of dialogue.

Are you hoping to learn to write dialogue or for ways to do workarounds?

 

[SmilingLez]

Are you hoping to learn to write dialogue or for ways to do workarounds?

I want to be able to craft dialogue that doesn't bore. I am asking myself the question, "How can I create 'living breathing' dialogue as well as the feelings experienced by the characters when engaged in dialogue?". My first short story accomplished bringing my internal dialogue front and center. Next step bringing a 'not me' character's dialogue to the same standard.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I just read Fragment-First Love, and thought it was lovely. I really enjoyed your unique voice.

It is appropriately titled. It's a fragment, a vignette, not fully a story. And you're right, without mastering dialogue, it would be difficult to write a fuller piece of work. I suspect, from what I just read, you can do so without compromising your style.

I believe the key to writing effective dialogue is to create fully fleshed out characters. My motto is "Cultivate Empathy". Understand your characters thoroughly, know their personalities, their backgrounds. Who they are determines how they speak. Class, education, profession all have a part in determining their vocabulary and syntax.

Are they the kind of person who is thoughtful and chooses their words with care, or are they impulsive, prone to blurting things out? Is their voice casual or formal, emotional or clinical? Are they serious minded or lighthearted? Do their words express desire? Mask trauma? Reflect doubt or faith? Surety or ambivalence?

If you can answer those questions about your characters, you will know how they speak and their voices will ring true to the reader.

 

[SmilingLez]

I just read Fragment-First Love, and thought it was lovely. I really enjoyed your unique voice.

It is appropriately titled. It's a fragment, a vignette, not fully a story. And you're right, without mastering dialogue, it would be difficult to write a fuller piece of work. I suspect, from what I just read, you can do so without compromising your style.

I believe the key to writing effective dialogue is to create fully fleshed out characters. My motto is "Cultivate Empathy". Understand your characters thoroughly, know their personalities, their backgrounds. Who they are determines how they speak. Class, education, profession all have a part in determining their vocabulary and syntax.

Are they the kind of person who is thoughtful and chooses their words with care, or are they impulsive, prone to blurting things out? Is their voice casual or formal, emotional or clinical? Are they serious minded or lighthearted? Do their words express desire? Mask trauma? Reflect doubt or faith? Surety or ambivalence?

If you can answer those questions about your characters, you will know how they speak and their voices will ring true to the reader.

So many thanks. My main problem with dialogue is how to convey the emotions behind the thought. For example " I want us to be together forever, be my wife", Shawn whispers, her heart full. Is 'heart full' enough? This is where/why dialogue bores me, there is 'bread but no meat'.

 

[NuclearFairy]

So many thanks. My main problem with dialogue is how to convey the emotions behind the thought. For example " I want us to be together forever, be my wife", Shawn whispers, her heart full. Is 'heart full' enough? This is where/why dialogue bores me, there is 'bread but no meat'.

Well, if you wanted it to be more poetic, you could write something like, "her heart swelling with sensation/emotion." But yeah, I personally think "heart full." works.

 

[SmilingLez]

Well, if you wanted it to be more poetic, you could write something like, "her heart swelling with sensation/emotion." But yeah, I personally think "heart full." works.

thank you

 

[MelissaBaby]

So many thanks. My main problem with dialogue is how to convey the emotions behind the thought. For example " I want us to be together forever, be my wife", Shawn whispers, her heart full. Is 'heart full' enough? This is where/why dialogue bores me, there is 'bread but no meat'.

So make a sandwich.

"I want us to be together forever," Shawn whispered tenderly, "Be my wife."

 

[BeneathHerBraid]

I have a personal writing theory. I developed this on my own. I am probably not the first person to think this way, but I didn’t copy anyone else when I got there. The first part of my theory is that “Everything is a tool.” Word choice, grammar, sentence structure, character design, plot. Racist characters. Slutshaming. Second person narrative. Writing out dialog vs narrating a conversation. Slang. All tools. No tool is useless, but some of them are less universally applicable than others. Some are extremely nuanced. Some tools work better in a given circumstance than other, similar tools. Learning how to use a tool is just as important as learning when to use a tool.

The second part came many years later. I started thinking about what tools are used for, and I realized that the thing I was making, the thing I cared the most about, was the memory my stories would leave in readers minds, and not the story itself. A story is, in digital form or printed, pointless unless someone reads it and takes it in. Thinks about it after, whether that's minutes or years after.

I love your view of craft elements as “tools,” and the reminder that when to use them matters as much as how. I’d love to be able to use descriptive language, not just to show a scene but to create a lingering sensory memory — jasmine on skin, linen moving in a breeze, the weight of a glance. Something that can be built through these recurring details, designed to stay with the reader long after the chapter ends.

 

[SmilingLez]

So make a sandwich.

"I want us to be together forever," Shawn whispered tenderly, "Be my wife."

in my prose, the line would be "Shawn offered forever, heart pounding, and the air waited for her answer." Don't know if appropriate for a short story

 

[MelissaBaby]

in my prose, the line would be "Shawn offered forever, heart pounding, and the air waited for her answer." Don't know if appropriate for a short story

That's a lovely line, but it isn't dialogue. Perhaps the most common axiom for good writing is "show, don't tell." Try thinking cinematically.

 

[SmilingLez]

That's a lovely line, but it isn't dialogue. Perhaps the most common axiom for good writing is "show, don't tell." Try thinking cinematically.

thank you again.

 

[MelissaBaby]

thank you again.

You are welcome. But please, if any advice I, or anyone else, gives you is antithetical to your vision of what or how you want to write, be true to yourself.