Sexless Marriages

[Abeona1]

I initiate everything too sadly

I get rebuked all the time.

 

[OldSoldier96]

I am in a sexless relationship, I fancy him, he smells great and the best kisser. And we laugh a lot.
He doesn't like being touched, always telling me to get off him.
If I didn't make a move he won't.
I was a late developer in my teens, found the wrong person. Single parent next 20yrs.
Aged 40 went mad for 5 yrs. Promiscuous.
Then with my now partner, who I actually hated for 15 yrs, been together 15yrs. Should have seen the red flag when he was more interested in his shed roof than me in his bed.
He won't talk about it, gets angry. Think some is a defence mechanism.
He isn't interested in anything I say or do.
He bought some pills and sold them on.
Our body shape may hinder, but I love doggie. And it's not even the sex, it's the skin to skin, the caressing.
He says I've put weight on, his a barrel.
He doesn't like how I dress or walk around the house, barely covered.
His love language is food. I love food.
He cooked himself a breakfast the other day and didn't ask or do me one. He couldn't understand why I got upset. It was that I didn't get a meal, but that he doesn't even want to do that for me.
He then started criticising me about the home.
Not only am I his flat mate, but housekeeper as well
Have had a few really tempting offers lately. But is it really worth it.
I AM DRIVING MYSELF MAD.
Any opinions?
Sorry if too much, really am at end of my tether

Tbh this can happen to anyone and a lot of people regardless of how you think you look physically. I’m in a sexless marriage and I feel at times tricked.

 

[Deepdesrp]

Wow, I can’t believe I found this thread and so many people just like me! 45 with a crazy sex drive and a husband that isn’t interested in me at all. I just want to be needed and craved by someone. I’ve had so many conversations with him about it and he is not interested in me at all. I’ve gained some weight recently due to some health issues and I feel like he doesn’t find me attractive. We are roommates, living under the same roof and not having a real relationship. 21 years of marriage so it’s hard to walk away.

Its difficult when your former lover (in my case my wife) decides to throw in the towel and not bother with the passion in life anymore. Difficult to understand when there is so much more to enjoy as a couple. She has also put some weight on but I enjoy the curves - still the same person I met but now not interested so know what you are talking about. We have a great family and home so yes difficult just to walk away.

 

[Deepdesrp]

Wow almost the same situation. She has gained weight, I still find her extremely sexy and attractive, but she "does not see herself how I see her". So it does not matter what I need and want. Plain old vanilla sex would be amazing at this point. Sigh.

Wow yes I can relate to this I find my wife still turns me on in our 50's but she isn't interested in that sort of relationship..

 

[Deepdesrp]

I get that the whole time from my wife. While it's not a sexless marriage. Any time I touch her leg in bed she thinks all I want to do is fuck her. While I gladly would, I am absolutely seeking a connection with her. Not just and getting my dick wet.

With you there - love the intimacy - making out all that good stuff

 

[sassylassy12]

From what I can tell after being here awhile and chatting to others, we make up the majority in here!! It always amazes me how so many of us in our 40’s & 50’s eventually find ourselves in this situation

You’re in the right place!

I am a 64 year old female and I haven't been sexually active with my husband for over 5 years now. God, I want some fun.

 

[MountainMan406]

I am a 64 year old female and I haven't been sexually active with my husband for over 5 years now. God, I want some fun.

With an intro like that you inbox will be filled in not time.

 

[hyperxguy]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

I have this problem too.

 

[hyperxguy]

I am a 64 year old female and I haven't been sexually active with my husband for over 5 years now. God, I want some fun.

You sound like me with my asexual wife.

 

[Bulldog88]

I just love when my wife will spend the day teasing, then just go to bed and get mad at me for trying to cash in on all her playfulness that she did. So I roll over and open up the hub. Story of my life

 

[ned63]

I am a 64 year old female and I haven't been sexually active with my husband for over 5 years now. God, I want some fun.

Sorry to hear that Sassy, Lets talk and see what we like that others around us don't know mmm DM me

 

[Coconutty70]

I am in a sexless relationship, I fancy him, he smells great and the best kisser. And we laugh a lot.
He doesn't like being touched, always telling me to get off him.
If I didn't make a move he won't.
I was a late developer in my teens, found the wrong person. Single parent next 20yrs.
Aged 40 went mad for 5 yrs. Promiscuous.
Then with my now partner, who I actually hated for 15 yrs, been together 15yrs. Should have seen the red flag when he was more interested in his shed roof than me in his bed.
He won't talk about it, gets angry. Think some is a defence mechanism.
He isn't interested in anything I say or do.
He bought some pills and sold them on.
Our body shape may hinder, but I love doggie. And it's not even the sex, it's the skin to skin, the caressing.
He says I've put weight on, his a barrel.
He doesn't like how I dress or walk around the house, barely covered.
His love language is food. I love food.
He cooked himself a breakfast the other day and didn't ask or do me one. He couldn't understand why I got upset. It was that I didn't get a meal, but that he doesn't even want to do that for me.
He then started criticising me about the home.
Not only am I his flat mate, but housekeeper as well
Have had a few really tempting offers lately. But is it really worth it.
I AM DRIVING MYSELF MAD.
Any opinions?
Sorry if too much, really am at end of my tether

This sounds like it’s not just about a sexless relationship, but about love and sharing; wanting hang out together? It’s one thing to be made to feel undesired (undesirable even?) but another to be criticised. It sounds like you’re not driving yourself mad… you’re being driven mad. The way people treat you does not define you. It’s a tendency of humans to turn inwards and blame oneself when situations become uncomfortably stuck and it’s hard to extract oneself. If you feel tempted then what is it that you feel you would lose? And what on the other hand do you feel is an opportunity to gain for yourself?

This came up in my feed yesterday. It may be relevant for this whole thread, but I remembered it as I read your post.

I hope you will find the happiness you deserve.

 

[Volk359]

I am a 64 year old female and I haven't been sexually active with my husband for over 5 years now. God, I want some fun.

A pity you don’t live closer, I’m sure we could work something out to help each other.

 

[Abeona1]

This sounds like it’s not just about a sexless relationship, but about love and sharing; wanting hang out together? It’s one thing to be made to feel undesired (undesirable even?) but another to be criticised. It sounds like you’re not driving yourself mad… you’re being driven mad. The way people treat you does not define you. It’s a tendency of humans to turn inwards and blame oneself when situations become uncomfortably stuck and it’s hard to extract oneself. If you feel tempted then what is it that you feel you would lose? And what on the other hand do you feel is an opportunity to gain for yourself?

This came up in my feed yesterday. It may be relevant for this whole thread, but I remembered it as I read your post.

I hope you will find the happiness you deserve.

Thank you so much for your time.
About being able to recover from anything really hit home. Thanks again.

 

[SensualKat78]

Wise words. There are always routes through... and there will be one for me and my partner too, and hopefully the other posters on this thread. It will take time and some figuring out because separation would be so extremely difficult to navigate for my partner, that I would prefer peace of mind to ensure she is supported while she adjusts away from her dependency on me in many different ways. If the shoe was on the other foot and I was dependent on her, I probably would have left by now as I am a very independent type of person. The opposite is true of my partner. We shall see. Thank you again.

Each person has their own journey...

 

[Robbo694u]

I am a 64 year old female and I haven't been sexually active with my husband for over 5 years now. God, I want some fun.

There's always fun to be found, it just depends what kind of fun is needed

 

[darkantx6669]

Wow, I can’t believe I found this thread and so many people just like me! 45 with a crazy sex drive and a husband that isn’t interested in me at all. I just want to be needed and craved by someone. I’ve had so many conversations with him about it and he is not interested in me at all. I’ve gained some weight recently due to some health issues and I feel like he doesn’t find me attractive. We are roommates, living under the same roof and not having a real relationship. 21 years of marriage so it’s hard to walk away.

I know what you're feeling. I'm 48 and my wife is the same about me. She's not interested. I too am looking for someone to have conversations with...

 

[Carmina24]

The Silence Between Skin

We don’t talk enough about the loneliness of being touched less in a world that touches everything but you.

We don’t talk about what it does to your soul when the person who once undressed you with a single glance now looks right through you.

We don’t talk about the nights you lie beside someone and still feel entirely alone.

Sexless marriage.

It’s not just about the act - it’s about the silence. The hollow ache of being undesired. The part of you that slowly stops reaching, stops hoping, stops existing in the way you used to.

And yet - here, in this place called Lit - we find others.

People who know. People who feel.

Writers who give language to what we’ve buried. Readers who understand the sharp edge of longing. Strangers who say, I see you, and mean it in a way that matters more than we can explain.

Sometimes it’s a comment. Sometimes a story. Sometimes a wicked flirt that makes you smile again - for the first time in weeks.

Here, our thoughts are not “too much.”
Here, desire is not shameful.
Here, our imagination doesn’t rot - it blooms.

Lit has become more than an escape. It’s a reclamation. Of pleasure. Of connection. Of the parts of us we thought were gone.

So if you're reading this and feeling that same quiet despair - know this:

You are not the only one who has forgotten what it feels like to be wanted.
And you are not the only one learning to feel alive again through words, mischief, and the magic of being seen.

And if we're lucky - just maybe - we’ll find someone here who doesn’t just understand the loneliness… but knows how to touch it away.

 

[Tweedledude]

The Silence Between Skin

We don’t talk enough about the loneliness of being touched less in a world that touches everything but you.

We don’t talk about what it does to your soul when the person who once undressed you with a single glance now looks right through you.

We don’t talk about the nights you lie beside someone and still feel entirely alone.

Sexless marriage.

It’s not just about the act - it’s about the silence. The hollow ache of being undesired. The part of you that slowly stops reaching, stops hoping, stops existing in the way you used to.

And yet - here, in this place called Lit - we find others.

People who know. People who feel.

Writers who give language to what we’ve buried. Readers who understand the sharp edge of longing. Strangers who say, I see you, and mean it in a way that matters more than we can explain.

Sometimes it’s a comment. Sometimes a story. Sometimes a wicked flirt that makes you smile again - for the first time in weeks.

Here, our thoughts are not “too much.”
Here, desire is not shameful.
Here, our imagination doesn’t rot - it blooms.

Lit has become more than an escape. It’s a reclamation. Of pleasure. Of connection. Of the parts of us we thought were gone.

So if you're reading this and feeling that same quiet despair - know this:

You are not the only one who has forgotten what it feels like to be wanted.
And you are not the only one learning to feel alive again through words, mischief, and the magic of being seen.

And if we're lucky - just maybe - we’ll find someone here who doesn’t just understand the loneliness… but knows how to touch it away.

An amazingly artistic poet. Wow

 

[Carmina24]

An amazingly artistic poet. Wow

You're too kind. Thank you.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

An amazingly artistic poet. Wow

You should read her first story

 

[masterslave00]

The Silence Between Skin

We don’t talk enough about the loneliness of being touched less in a world that touches everything but you.

We don’t talk about what it does to your soul when the person who once undressed you with a single glance now looks right through you.

We don’t talk about the nights you lie beside someone and still feel entirely alone.

Sexless marriage.

It’s not just about the act - it’s about the silence. The hollow ache of being undesired. The part of you that slowly stops reaching, stops hoping, stops existing in the way you used to.

And yet - here, in this place called Lit - we find others.

People who know. People who feel.

Writers who give language to what we’ve buried. Readers who understand the sharp edge of longing. Strangers who say, I see you, and mean it in a way that matters more than we can explain.

Sometimes it’s a comment. Sometimes a story. Sometimes a wicked flirt that makes you smile again - for the first time in weeks.

Here, our thoughts are not “too much.”
Here, desire is not shameful.
Here, our imagination doesn’t rot - it blooms.

Lit has become more than an escape. It’s a reclamation. Of pleasure. Of connection. Of the parts of us we thought were gone.

So if you're reading this and feeling that same quiet despair - know this:

You are not the only one who has forgotten what it feels like to be wanted.
And you are not the only one learning to feel alive again through words, mischief, and the magic of being seen.

And if we're lucky - just maybe - we’ll find someone here who doesn’t just understand the loneliness… but knows how to touch it away.

 

[Carmina24]

Advice for All of Us on Lit
Because sometimes, what someone needs isn't sex - it's to feel seen.

It’s easy to forget, in a place like this, that there’s a real person behind the screen. A person with longing. A person with history. A person who might be carrying silence heavier than words can hold.

I’ve come to realize that many who reach out - especially those in sexless marriages - aren’t just here for sin or flirtation. They’re here because they ache to be touched - not just physically, but emotionally. They want to be seen. Heard. Chosen. Even for a moment.

So when someone messages you, pause before you dismiss or judge.

There might be desperation in their tone - but also vulnerability.
There might be innuendo - but also hope.
There might be a sexual request - but underneath, a human asking, “Am I still desirable? Am I still worth connection?”

And maybe your reply doesn’t have to be an invitation.
Maybe it can be a kindness. A boundary held with gentleness. A reminder that they’re not invisible.

Here on Lit, we play, we tease, we write - but we also carry each other, sometimes without even knowing.

So let’s be mindful. Let’s be kind.
Let’s remember: every message is a heartbeat trying not to disappear.

 

[darkantx6669]

The Silence Between Skin

We don’t talk enough about the loneliness of being touched less in a world that touches everything but you.

We don’t talk about what it does to your soul when the person who once undressed you with a single glance now looks right through you.

We don’t talk about the nights you lie beside someone and still feel entirely alone.

Sexless marriage.

It’s not just about the act - it’s about the silence. The hollow ache of being undesired. The part of you that slowly stops reaching, stops hoping, stops existing in the way you used to.

And yet - here, in this place called Lit - we find others.

People who know. People who feel.

Writers who give language to what we’ve buried. Readers who understand the sharp edge of longing. Strangers who say, I see you, and mean it in a way that matters more than we can explain.

Sometimes it’s a comment. Sometimes a story. Sometimes a wicked flirt that makes you smile again - for the first time in weeks.

Here, our thoughts are not “too much.”
Here, desire is not shameful.
Here, our imagination doesn’t rot - it blooms.

Lit has become more than an escape. It’s a reclamation. Of pleasure. Of connection. Of the parts of us we thought were gone.

So if you're reading this and feeling that same quiet despair - know this:

You are not the only one who has forgotten what it feels like to be wanted.
And you are not the only one learning to feel alive again through words, mischief, and the magic of being seen.

And if we're lucky - just maybe - we’ll find someone here who doesn’t just understand the loneliness… but knows how to touch it away.

That was amazing. That really hits hard. Thank you for posting this...

 

[Tweedledude]

Advice for All of Us on Lit
Because sometimes, what someone needs isn't sex - it's to feel seen.

It’s easy to forget, in a place like this, that there’s a real person behind the screen. A person with longing. A person with history. A person who might be carrying silence heavier than words can hold.

I’ve come to realize that many who reach out - especially those in sexless marriages - aren’t just here for sin or flirtation. They’re here because they ache to be touched - not just physically, but emotionally. They want to be seen. Heard. Chosen. Even for a moment.

So when someone messages you, pause before you dismiss or judge.

There might be desperation in their tone - but also vulnerability.
There might be innuendo - but also hope.
There might be a sexual request - but underneath, a human asking, “Am I still desirable? Am I still worth connection?”

And maybe your reply doesn’t have to be an invitation.
Maybe it can be a kindness. A boundary held with gentleness. A reminder that they’re not invisible.

Here on Lit, we play, we tease, we write - but we also carry each other, sometimes without even knowing.

So let’s be mindful. Let’s be kind.
Let’s remember: every message is a heartbeat trying not to disappear.

You so well said. I wonder why people get into that mindset that leads to this kind of sad desperation. I have asked some people have you read a book on relationships? Have you gone to a symposium? Have you actually done anything that would cause you to think to question to wonder if you are doing enough. Strangely in almost 100 percent of the situations where I’ve asked the answer is no I’ve done none of those things. So I’m left wondering why they would think anything would change. I asked my SO those questions and the answer was no. I knew that before i asked. Then one day driving to the gym to meet my trainer i thought wow why wouldn’t ya hire a relationship coach ? We get a piano teacher to learn to play the piano. We hire trainer to improve our physical performance. We’re go to a physiologist to improve our thinking. Why not a relationship coach? So asking my SO the answer was a resounding no not interested. I have since given myself permission to enjoy life in every situation. It’s hard to do it’s hard to maintain we are all filled with this idea that allot of life’s experiences are shared with that one individual. Well all i can say is go and do. It’s sure a struggle it’s a change of an entire life’s mind set but why not. If both partners are not willing to lean into the relationship then one is left to fall on one’s face. It’s truly time for us to stand on our own two feet and enjoy the people that come and go in and out of our lives.