My first bomb

[Rob_Royale]

And it's in I/T of all places. I've had others that didn't do well, but those can be chalked up to 750 words and LW.
The plan was to do an unabashed slutty stepmom story. Her affairs are discovered and she's blackmailed by her stepsons friend.
Part 1 barely made it over the red H mark and took nearly a year to get there. Part two is being received poorly, not even reaching the four star mark. Clearly, I have erred somewhere. I thought it was a fun conclusion.

If anyone has some time to give me a review, I'd appreciate it.
Evelyn Ensnared Ch. 01 - 9100 words
Evelyn Ensnared Ch. 02 - 8900 words

 

[lovecraft68]

Without even looking I can tell you some issues

Step Mom is seen as a cop out among taboo purists and there are a lot of those.

Next, the step mom is screwing the son's best friend, and the 'mom should only be with the son' faction will now be displeased.

Blackmail isn't always well received there either. I/T crowd tends to like their stories to be either somewhat romantic or affectionate or fun stroke, getting into forcing someone to do something for whatever reason is a another sketchy box to tick.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Without even looking I can tell you some issues

Step Mom is seen as a cop out among taboo purists and there are a lot of those.

Next, the step mom is screwing the son's best friend, and the 'mom should only be with the son' faction will now be displeased.

Blackmail isn't always well received there either. I/T crowd tends to like their stories to be either somewhat romantic or affectionate or fun stroke, getting into forcing someone to do something for whatever reason is a another sketchy box to tick.

I was just trying do something a little different than the status quo. Step-mom fit the story better as I wanted both parents to have a history. Thanks.

 

[Andreas_Kreuz]

I was just trying do something a little different than the status quo.

Remember Coca Cola trying to taste differently?

 

[dirk2024]

If anyone has some time to give me a review, I'd appreciate it.
Evelyn Ensnared Ch. 01 - 9100 words
Evelyn Ensnared Ch. 02 - 8900 words

I read both of them yesterday. It was a little bit of a chance for me as I'm not normally a fan of blackmail and as @lovecraft68 pointed out, not a fan of a son's friend tapping his (step)mom. But I have enjoyed other stories you've written so I went for it. I will admit as I read the story I did look forward (hope) that the son's friend would eventually crash and burn.

The problem for me now is, how to comment on this without mentioning plot spoilers. I'll try to be vague for the others. You can DM me if you have any specific questions.

First off, how the story in Ch2 ended made what was at first painful for me worth it.

Second, the inclusion of the young woman in the story was great. The arc from where she started when introduced to the story to her ultimate interaction with the FMC was perfect.

The sex scenes were great.

The quality of the writing was fine, something I personally still struggle with in my stories, so I can't really comment there.

I don't have an issue with the "step" relationship, it just tweaks the dynamic. In fact, I wrote a story about step siblings myself. So that was fine for me.


Frankly, I'm a little surpised that ch2 is doing poorly in the ratings. It only has one positive comment (and no negative comments) so far. So its too soon to judge there. I gave both 5 stars.