How do you handle negative feedback and Kink pushback from readers?

[Oralexplorer]

I've offered refunds too...Kind of feels freeing. And no one has actually ever said yes to the offer.

IMHO why should you offer a refund ? you've put in the time and the effort, value your time and your effort. They are free to cancel their subscription, i mean we've all been disappointed with movies or performances because it didn't meet expectations do we get a refund or demand one at the box office.
Unless the criticism is constructive and offer a solution that's workable then it might be worth considering it even if it hurts a bit, for everything else you know everyone is a critic and everyone also has an asshole.

 

[Britva415]

why should you offer a refund ?

To rub their noses in it, since they didn't pay anything in the first place yet they seem to feel entitled to demanding something different.

 

[Oralexplorer]

To rub their noses in it, since they didn't pay anything in the first place yet they seem to feel entitled to demanding something different.

Think OP is referring to subscribers on her Pateron ... but if they are getting it for free, they can take a very long walk on an extremely short pier.

 

[Britva415]

Think OP is referring to subscribers on her Pateron

Ah, I see, so that's why you asked her and not @ElectricBlue (who was the OP who first brought up refunds)

 

[ElectricBlue]

Ah, I see, so that's why you asked her and not @ElectricBlue (who was the OP who first brought up refunds)

My refunds are always piss takes, for those Lit readers who want their money back because they didn't like the story I wrote. Wasn't talking about real refunds!

 

[Britva415]

My refunds are always piss takes, for those Lit readers who want their money back because they didn't like the story I wrote. Wasn't talking about real refunds!

which is pretty much exactly what you said at the time

Believe me, I get it

 

[Underrick]

First of all, I'm old school and believe if you have nothing positive to say, don't say it. The only negative comment I have made is if a story is too short or not detailed. I ask if they can expand further on their topic. If I start reading a story and for some reason I don't care for it, I just move on to the next.
I have received a few negative comments on my works here and they are never true or helpful critiques. Usually 3 or 4 words calling it rubbish or some such.
And they are always posted anonymously - so no chance for a discussion about what they did not like.
I am totally open to sincere, helpful criticism, as I'm sure most of the writers are, but I've yet to receive any. If you have something to say about my writing, please say it. But just calling it garbage without justification says more about you than my work. And posting anonymously is just cowardice. So I just ignore it and keep writing what I like and appreciate all the positive feedback I receive.

 

[Melody_Lightdraft2]

Hi All, I’m just putting this out there because I’m genuinely curious how others navigate strong negative feedback, and people insisting that you should write their kinks and not other kinks.

I write mostly in the Interracial/cheating/cuckolding space, obviously a genre with lots of strong feelings. With all genres, there are lots of sub genres and kinks within it, and lately, I’ve been exploring some newer angles (for me) like introducing male bi-curious themes and female-led humiliation into evolving couples relationship dynamic. And honestly? I’ve really enjoyed writing it, it surprised me how naturally it came. But it’s also brought on a big wave of feedback, and not all of it’s been easy to sit with.

Some readers have said it’s the hottest stuff I’ve written and they want more of it. Others have made it clear they’re done with my work because of those kinks and have cancelled their subscriptions as a result.

I’ve always said to them all, that the core of my writing is about female sexual awakening within the interracial genre... that’s what excites me and where I live. And it will always be my main focus over time. But I do want to bring variety into the genre, not write the same story on repeat. Still…I’d be lying if I said the pushback doesn’t mess with my confidence. I’m not new to feedback, but I’m finding it harder to stay centred lately, knowing that no matter what I write there is going to be a vocal wave pushing back against it. Having to constantly defend why I wrote something or justify mixing it up kinda kills the fun. And now I know when I don't write the new stuff, those who enjoy that aspect are going to be annoyed also.

So I guess my question is:
How do you handle criticism when it’s not just “I didn’t like this,” but “You shouldn’t have written this kink, you should stick to this kink”?
Do you factor in reader preferences when deciding what to write next? Or just follow your gut and accept that some people will drop off?

I am someone who is probably far too oversensitive at times, so that doesn't help. I also like interacting with subscribers. So being active and interacting, and also overly sensitive and a people pleaser is proving to be a terrible combination

Would love to hear how others cope. I'm not looking for polished advice, just honest perspective from people who’ve been there.

Thanks

It's your story, and it's easy to get into a rut. You cannot please everyone, and not all will follow.

 

[Andreas_Kreuz]

How about feeling honoured? You you managed to step on someone's toes sufficiently to evoke a reaction. And if they write aggressively then they are assholes anyway. So a bad comment from a bad person is good.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

In the immortal words of the greatest TV dad of all time, bar none .....

"Bluh BlAH Blah!"

-Al Bundy.

 

[MiaBabe23]

I agree with what the majority have said here; it’s your writing, your true fans will stay, and a pen name does sound a good option if you really feel the comments are bothering you

I personally nonetheless do take note of negative feedback, unless it’s just rude or demanding
If - hopefully when! - I get a following, I would feel interested to know why someone who so enjoyed one thing, is strongly put off by another - did my style change? Is the voice as strong, or different? Is the underlying ethos still as vivid?
Not to change it to suit them, but to understand my own writing, and my followers’ responses

But that said - I suspect here you’re falling victim to people who take the interracial themes as some kind of social commentary, and either take offense or feel obliged to virtue signal, depending on their politics

Either way - keep writing what you enjoy!

 

[Small_Island]

If I were selling my work (either through Amazon or a subscription like Patreon) and saw myself drifting from what THE READERS think are my core themes, I would consider making a new pen name and publishing the new stuff there. I'd let my list know about it and do whatever I can to make subscribing to both painless and no more expensive than what they'd been paying.

Pen names are like brands. When you've done a lot of work to establish a brand in the public consciousness, trying to expand the brand to cover something new is always tough and rarely works as well as managers hope it will. Creating a new brand is usually more successful.

When I read the OP's comments about Subscribers and (apparently real) Refund offers, I leapt to the same answer as TheRedLantern. Why shoot yourself in the retail foot when you can just wear different brands on each foot? (or something like that ;-) )
And you can also do the same thing here on Literotica to give yourself room to experiment with different topics or styles if you're worred about blowback against your main body of work.
But in the end, for the free stuff anyway, if a commenter says my One was for daring to...(fill in their complaint here)... but not because the writing itself was shitty; I let it go, no story should please everyone.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I delete it.

Yes but once in a great while - like every two years or three years - some critic will be right. It took me a year to find one such a negative comment again, which I found by chance. And even thought he wasn't exactly polite (I think it was indeed a male), it struck me the second time that he may have had a point. As an experiment, I tried to write a new version with his suggestions. And yeah, it had the missing piece that made it far better than the original. I removed the old story and submitted the new one with a different title. And it eventually it grew into a whole group of series and stories that have been quite successful.

As for the OP's question of how to usually handle these complaints: You can try to answer if you have something to say. You can just ignore them otherwise. I only delete those that are nonsensical or off-topic.

 

[APilgrimSquare]

I’ve only written one piece for Loving Wives and it was a 750-word entry, but it’s the only time I’ve encountered meaningful pushback, commenters telling me what to do instead. For me, I write to share the stories in my head, the things that occur to me, the ideas I fixate on. I hope others like what I write, of course, but I’m not fundamentally writing for a specific audience.

Criticism of plot development, characterization, style? Love that. Ruminate on it. Incorporate it. Criticism of the piece not just totally being something else instead, something the reader prefers? Ignored.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Hi All, I’m just putting this out there because I’m genuinely curious how others navigate strong negative feedback, and people insisting that you should write their kinks and not other kinks.

I write mostly in the Interracial/cheating/cuckolding space, obviously a genre with lots of strong feelings. With all genres, there are lots of sub genres and kinks within it, and lately, I’ve been exploring some newer angles (for me) like introducing male bi-curious themes and female-led humiliation into evolving couples relationship dynamic. And honestly? I’ve really enjoyed writing it, it surprised me how naturally it came. But it’s also brought on a big wave of feedback, and not all of it’s been easy to sit with.

Some readers have said it’s the hottest stuff I’ve written and they want more of it. Others have made it clear they’re done with my work because of those kinks and have cancelled their subscriptions as a result.

I’ve always said to them all, that the core of my writing is about female sexual awakening within the interracial genre... that’s what excites me and where I live. And it will always be my main focus over time. But I do want to bring variety into the genre, not write the same story on repeat. Still…I’d be lying if I said the pushback doesn’t mess with my confidence. I’m not new to feedback, but I’m finding it harder to stay centred lately, knowing that no matter what I write there is going to be a vocal wave pushing back against it. Having to constantly defend why I wrote something or justify mixing it up kinda kills the fun. And now I know when I don't write the new stuff, those who enjoy that aspect are going to be annoyed also.

So I guess my question is:
How do you handle criticism when it’s not just “I didn’t like this,” but “You shouldn’t have written this kink, you should stick to this kink”?
Do you factor in reader preferences when deciding what to write next? Or just follow your gut and accept that some people will drop off?

I am someone who is probably far too oversensitive at times, so that doesn't help. I also like interacting with subscribers. So being active and interacting, and also overly sensitive and a people pleaser is proving to be a terrible combination

Would love to hear how others cope. I'm not looking for polished advice, just honest perspective from people who’ve been there.

Thanks

I had a mentor once tell me, "Shelby, your opinion of me is none of my business. It just not my garbage."
The point being that what others say about you or me, their opinions on what we do, or write, is just that; their opinion.

It not our garbage so why would we care? Why would we stoop to pick it up and carry it around?

Now, this attitude is a lot easier to say than do, but I find the more I work at it, the more successful I become and the easier my life gets.

It's especially true when they criticize our work, our stories. I hope you write for yourself, from your heart. If you do, the only thing that mattes is what you think about your work. Of course, there can be gold in the biggest pile of dung, so I do always read every comment. I am just very careful what I keep and what I leave behind. If something helps you, makes you better, keep it, otherwise, leave it for someone else, or no one else to pick up.

 

[BillyWalrus]

Hi All, I’m just putting this out there because I’m genuinely curious how others navigate strong negative feedback, and people insisting that you should write their kinks and not other kinks.

I write mostly in the Interracial/cheating/cuckolding space, obviously a genre with lots of strong feelings. With all genres, there are lots of sub genres and kinks within it, and lately, I’ve been exploring some newer angles (for me) like introducing male bi-curious themes and female-led humiliation into evolving couples relationship dynamic. And honestly? I’ve really enjoyed writing it, it surprised me how naturally it came. But it’s also brought on a big wave of feedback, and not all of it’s been easy to sit with.

Some readers have said it’s the hottest stuff I’ve written and they want more of it. Others have made it clear they’re done with my work because of those kinks and have cancelled their subscriptions as a result.

I’ve always said to them all, that the core of my writing is about female sexual awakening within the interracial genre... that’s what excites me and where I live. And it will always be my main focus over time. But I do want to bring variety into the genre, not write the same story on repeat. Still…I’d be lying if I said the pushback doesn’t mess with my confidence. I’m not new to feedback, but I’m finding it harder to stay centred lately, knowing that no matter what I write there is going to be a vocal wave pushing back against it. Having to constantly defend why I wrote something or justify mixing it up kinda kills the fun. And now I know when I don't write the new stuff, those who enjoy that aspect are going to be annoyed also.

So I guess my question is:
How do you handle criticism when it’s not just “I didn’t like this,” but “You shouldn’t have written this kink, you should stick to this kink”?
Do you factor in reader preferences when deciding what to write next? Or just follow your gut and accept that some people will drop off?

I am someone who is probably far too oversensitive at times, so that doesn't help. I also like interacting with subscribers. So being active and interacting, and also overly sensitive and a people pleaser is proving to be a terrible combination

Would love to hear how others cope. I'm not looking for polished advice, just honest perspective from people who’ve been there.

Thanks

My stories are very unique to my own personal experience and I write them for myself. If anyone else enjoys them, that's wonderful because I doubt they will find any other stories on Lit with my particular kink. Most people are not into it but that's fine. Each to his or her own!

 

[OddLove]

I turned off Anonymous feedback because I found all the 'backseat co-writers' won't bother commenting without the extra layer of anonymity.

Which is probably because they have stories they're also sensitive about and they don't want you seeing their work.

It might not be the correct solution for you despite it being the correct solution for me, but just thought I'd share that in case you wanna give it a try for a couple weeks or something. You might be surprised by the results.

 

[DeMont]

Hi All, I’m just putting this out there because I’m genuinely curious how others navigate strong negative feedback, and people insisting that you should write their kinks and not other kinks.

I write mostly in the Interracial/cheating/cuckolding space, obviously a genre with lots of strong feelings. With all genres, there are lots of sub genres and kinks within it, and lately, I’ve been exploring some newer angles (for me) like introducing male bi-curious themes and female-led humiliation into evolving couples relationship dynamic. And honestly? I’ve really enjoyed writing it, it surprised me how naturally it came. But it’s also brought on a big wave of feedback, and not all of it’s been easy to sit with.

Some readers have said it’s the hottest stuff I’ve written and they want more of it. Others have made it clear they’re done with my work because of those kinks and have cancelled their subscriptions as a result.

I’ve always said to them all, that the core of my writing is about female sexual awakening within the interracial genre... that’s what excites me and where I live. And it will always be my main focus over time. But I do want to bring variety into the genre, not write the same story on repeat. Still…I’d be lying if I said the pushback doesn’t mess with my confidence. I’m not new to feedback, but I’m finding it harder to stay centred lately, knowing that no matter what I write there is going to be a vocal wave pushing back against it. Having to constantly defend why I wrote something or justify mixing it up kinda kills the fun. And now I know when I don't write the new stuff, those who enjoy that aspect are going to be annoyed also.

So I guess my question is:
How do you handle criticism when it’s not just “I didn’t like this,” but “You shouldn’t have written this kink, you should stick to this kink”?
Do you factor in reader preferences when deciding what to write next? Or just follow your gut and accept that some people will drop off?

I am someone who is probably far too oversensitive at times, so that doesn't help. I also like interacting with subscribers. So being active and interacting, and also overly sensitive and a people pleaser is proving to be a terrible combination

Would love to hear how others cope. I'm not looking for polished advice, just honest perspective from people who’ve been there.

Thanks

@KaceyLoveington,
My dear Kacey, I have said this before in the odd post or two, write what YOU WANT to write. Write your stories, your way and that's it.
I have written several stories now and the "numbers" are up and down on each one, I received one comment, on my first story that simply read, "wtf?"

The point was it was my story, I WANTED it told my way and I had steeled myself for any feedback that came my way. I rarely respond to feedback on my stories unless someone leaves me a good feedback, an informative feedback or a suggestion. In that case I will always be polite enough to reply.

The fact is that, as our dear @Five_Inch_Heels intimated, the old saying goes, "You can please all of the people some of the time, you can please some of the people all of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time."

Write your story, your way and if people don't like it it's okay, they don't understand anyway.

Oh, one other thing, developing the hide of a rhinoceros also helps
Deepest respects,
D.

 

[bisissyhusband1]

In one instance, the feedback was accurate and I corrected my story to reflect reality. If the feedback is inaccurate, I usually reply to correct the inaccuracy. If it is just biased or trivial, I usually ignore it. My writing so far has been true life; so any misinterpretation is basically meaningless; it happened as told so I’m not going to change it to suit feedback.

 

[ChloeTzang]

Would love to hear how others cope. I'm not looking for polished advice, just honest perspective from people who’ve been there.

Thanks

Just create a couple of pennames and use a penname based on the theme - one for one, one for the other. You can always mention it in a comment at the top of every story and in your profile and that way readers who will read anything you write can find and track you on both - and the ones that don't won't (hopefully) drop you. Be explicit about it up front and it shouldn't be an issue.

If you gave stories like that now. and it sounds like you do, you can always move them to the appropriate penname - maybe Laurel could do it for you or maybe you'd have to delete and resubmit, not sure.

I have a 2nd penname I have done a few storirs under that are completely different to most of my stories. Works for me

 

[MK_Whimsy]

One time I took negative feedback as a cue that my story was miscategorized. Unfortunately I could never really figure out which category it belonged in.

 

[DeMont]

One time I took negative feedback as a cue that my story was miscategorized. Unfortunately I could never really figure out which category it belonged in.

@MK_Whimsy,
I tend to put tags to my submissions that cover every-thing that turns up in the story and then let the owners/editors decide where it belongs. You can never have too many tags I say...
Respectfully,
D

 

[Kumquatqueen]

@MK_Whimsy,
I tend to put tags to my submissions that cover every-thing that turns up in the story and then let the owners/editors decide where it belongs. You can never have too many tags I say...
Respectfully,
D

Unfortunately you can only have 10 tags on Lit, which is generally plenty for vanilla stories but once you start getting kinky, you can run out of space.

My instinctive response to any complaints about kinks is to go "You think that was too filthy? You ain't seen nothing yet!" I haven't had many - it's usually pretty obvious from the start when there's going to be niche content.

 

[UnexpectedLuggage]

I mostly ignore it.

If someone leaves feedback with useful criticism (like I fucked up and changed a name halfway through, or had lots of spelling mistakes because I was too lost in my own thoughts while writing) then I take that into consideration.

If someone leaves feedback saying I should have done this or that with my story and characters to fit their personal kink, I roll my eyes and move on.

 

[iwatchus]

I got pushback from someone about my story from last week, which was my first BDSM categorized story. The main character was a dominatrix as her side job and the storyline is about trying to live in two worlds for her. The story includes descriptions of four sessions with Mistress Natasha. The first one is the only one that featured spanking. My commenter complained that the story did not have enough spanking. I guess between including the tag and starting the story off with a spanking scene, he felt misled.

I don't mind a little bit of spanking, but a little bit goes a long way in my book (and in my stories).