Clerihew Crazy

[Politruk]

Captain James Tiberius Kirk
Is a piece of work
When no hot humanoid greenskinned alien babes are in range of the transporter
He'll do a horta!

 

[_Land]

Gwyneth Paltrow
Sells sage and scented yoni alto.
But light her candle the wrong damn way,
And it’s court dates and a cleanse for days.

 

[melimelissa]

Elon Musk
Will space crashes mean he's soon gone
To join those, in tatty T-shirt clothes fired by DOGE:
The cake-less masses

 

[Angeline]

They call him Mr. President
He's no ordinary Joe
Democracy's end feels imminent
Like a bad reality show

 

[Tzara]

Karl Marx,
whose bites are much milder than barks,
wrote the masterwork Das Kapital
(which induces more sleep than amobarbital).

 

[SpicyBean99]

Sigmund Freud

Was famously annoyed
When dreams of cigars
Were taken too far.

 

[SpicyBean99]

Dorian Gray

Refused to go grey.
He blamed bad lighting,
Not decades of blighting.

 

[_Land]

They call him Mr. President
He's no ordinary Joe
Democracy's end feels imminent
Like a bad reality show

Donald Trump, all bluster and bray,
Thinks hairspray holds truth in place each day.
He built gold towers with egoed flair—
But facts, like taxes, vanish in air.

 

[_Land]

Elon Musk bought Twitter for sport,
Then fired the staff with a snort.
He dreams of Mars and man-made moons—
While Earth burns down in Teslafumes.

 

[_Land]

Jeff Bezos, bold capitalist czar,
Rode on rockets to escape HR.
While workers pee in warehouse jars,
He counts his billions among the stars.

 

[_Land]

Oprah Winfrey, spiritual host,
Gave out cars and humblebragged most.
But healing comes with a price tag too—
Self-love, now sold in Book Club blue.

 

[_Land]

Taylor Swift, with heartbreak in hand,
Spins exes into a touring brand.
A song, a scarf, a subtle sting—
She’ll shake it off, and sell the ring.

 

[_Land]

J.K. Rowling, once beloved sage,
Now tweets like Voldemort backstage.
She conjured magic, bold and free—
Then canceled herself with wizardry.

 

[Angeline]

Guitarist Rick Derringer
a near forgotten rock character
is recently, sadly, gone
but Sloopy still hangs on

 

[42BelowsBack]

Hail Marry! That beautiful arm of Tom Brady
could have made a good looking lady!

Even blitzed, his legs doing splits, a Brady pass
made a crashing, defensive end, into a fat ass!

 

[Angeline]

Sir Ringo Starr turned 85
One of two Beatles still alive
And old Sir Paul is 83
How'd this happen to them...and me?!

 

[42BelowsBack]

Liz Taylor loved & lived with supreme irreverence
8xs in diamonds she graced the altar of severance

Liz married all her sexy imperfections with indifference
her life was oft enjoyed with big diamond magnificence

 

[Angeline]

Not Afraid of Virginia Woolf

Liz and Dick were La Scandale
Some said she was his downfall
Why should it matter what we think
In truth she met him drink for drink

 

[Tzara]

Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
liked a pumpernickel bagel
with a scallion schmear laid on as logically thick
as the unresolved dialectic.

 

[Angeline]

Not a Clerihew But Heartfelt Nonetheless

A scallion schmear is the best
on a rye bagel well-dressed
with tomato, lox, a few capers.
Oy such bliss I get the vapors!

 

[_Land]

Bill Clinton was smitten,
Monica once bit him.
Trump—full of fraud and sin—
Paid Stormy to piss on his grin.

 

[_Land]

Not a Clerihew But Heartfelt Nonetheless

A scallion schmear is the best
on a rye bagel well-dressed
with tomato, lox, a few capers.
Oy such bliss I get the vapors!

If you look at scallion as a person it's certainly a clerihew

BTW: this is required eating when I travel to NYC

 

[Angeline]

Jeffrey Epstein's dead,
dispatched by a bedspread...
at least that's what they say,
but his ghost ain't goin away.

 

[_Land]

Jeffrey Epstein's dead,
dispatched by a bedspread...
at least that's what they say,
but his ghost ain't goin away.

Ghislaine Maxwell kept score,
of the rich men and their whores.
Now she sits in prison gray,
counting secrets she won’t say.

 

[_Land]

The House reps stand at the door,
pretending they’re keeping score
but the velvet rope they guard each day
lets pedophiles in… if they pay.