What made you laugh today? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Melodi24]

My parrot said "hooker". I wanted to laugh but we do not react when the parrots say curse words. So, I held it in.

If I had one it would probably say "Shhh, I'm counting" I've seen you're a crocheter too, hello fellow "hooker"

 

[ShowMeYourSmile]

Reading the ramblings of a miserable and undeniably simplistic minded individual. May god bless you with the hatred you continue to spew…

 

[dontneedone]

I was talking to a guy I was planning on seeing tonight. I asked what he'd like to do, and he said matter of factly, "Well, I'd like to fuck your brains out, figuratively speaking."

Inquiring minds want to know: Did he end up sort of doing it literally?

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Nothing

Edited to say a video someone sent me. Made me laugh and giggle for nearly 5 minutes.

 

[cocokittysurprise]

A battle of wits in my inbox.

 

[Sundayschild]

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

A coworker called me and I made him snort.

 

[~Elizabeth~]

View attachment 2553763

Not me. I always tested high.

 

[Sundayschild]

Not me. I always tested high.

Like - high? High-high?

That explains the scores then

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Like - high? High-high?

That explains the scores then

Top 10 percentile.

 

[Sundayschild]

Top 10 percentile.

Ahh - but 90% of the population don't even make it that high. Shocking.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Like - high? High-high?

That explains the scores then

I knew a kid back in high school that was straight A student and a pot head. He'd smoke up before tests and still ace the damn things, just took him a little longer. Fucker!

 

[~Elizabeth~]

The cat jumping when my daughter passed gas near him.

 

[Solsurfer]

The latest episode of Kill Tony comedy podcast/show on YouTube.

 

[ericalauren]

My friend and I were discussing how folks with green eyes are allegedly more likely to be abducted by extraterrestrials. He asked me how I felt about that (because I have green eyes). I replied by saying, Beam me up, Scotty. His laughing made me laugh.

 

[Sundayschild]

My friend and I were discussing how folks with green eyes are allegedly more likely to be abducted by extraterrestrials. He asked me how I felt about that (because I have green eyes). I replied by saying, Beam me up, Scotty. His laughing made me laugh.

Ever seen Big Trouble in Little China?

 

[cheekygirl75]

My friend and I were discussing how folks with green eyes are allegedly more likely to be abducted by extraterrestrials. He asked me how I felt about that (because I have green eyes). I replied by saying, Beam me up, Scotty. His laughing made me laugh.

Hmmm, I have green eyes! Never knew this was a risk

 

[cocokittysurprise]

Ever seen Big Trouble in Little China?

Literally one of my favorite movies of all time.
"It's your old friend Jack Burton here..."

 

[Sundayschild]

Literally one of my favorite movies of all time.
"It's your old friend Jack Burton here..."

It might be my favourite film

 

[cocokittysurprise]

It might be my favourite film

I don't blame you; it's classic 80s camp, and I love it.

 

[LordofDargaardkeep]

I knew a kid back in high school that was straight A student and a pot head. He'd smoke up before tests and still ace the damn things, just took him a little longer. Fucker!

Dude I didnt know we went to high school together.. Lets smoke this joint and catch up

 

[LatinaCarmen1980]

The silliness in my last Teams call for the week.

 

[SimplyMsT]

Being called ...

Boo Boo Kitty Fuck

 

[OldDirtyAltGuy]

Being called ...

Boo Boo Kitty Fuck

Wtf?

 

[Girly_girl]

I haven’t laughed today