Feedback on my story

[al55]

Hi all,

Can anyone comment on my latest story?

https://www.literotica.com/s/summer-job-18

 

[Gamblnluck]

First I looked at end to see if you allowed comments. Then I saw it was in sci-fi which is why I did not see it when it had a 4 star rating. (I watch ratings to help choose what I read.) The very last lines caught my eye and saw something I probably would not like.
I write a lot of non-consent/reluctance and read a lot as well. One thing I absolutely hate even in fiction is the idea of no hope. To seal the fate permanently. I've seen pony, hucow etc that were permanent or started in that direction and I avoid them.
In my slave stories, I make sure there is one thing always offered. HOPE. The idea that all is not lost and there is an end to the suffering. Telling the girl she will do nothing would get a simple reaction. She'd be a pretty thing to see but a dangerous thing to approach. The first thing she'd do is grab whover she could and drown them. The second would be to commit suicide. Nobody'd ever look for her? Her family totally abandoned her. So why bother living and enduring?

Others will of course see it in a different fashion as I'm sure you do since you wrote it.

 

[al55]

Thanks! Anyone else have any feedback?

 

[filthytrancendence]

Thanks! Anyone else have any feedback?

I can put it on my reading list if you like, since it appears you're still looking. Will probably be a week or more before I get to it, though.

 

[al55]

Thank you