Giving massage as a practice

[Martles]

I retired from my career job earlier this year and wanted to do something which engaged my tactile skills and desire to help people in special, possibly intimate ways. I’ve been interested in, given and benefited from massages for a few years and decided to enrol on a massage therapy course run by a small independent provider in the UK. They seemed committed to diversity when others I looked at didn’t encourage or accept men or older people!

Anyway I did a taster day which was practical, hands-on and had a mixed group in genders, ages, ethnicities & background which I enjoyed, everyone went away able to give massages to friends & family. I signed up for the diploma which is 5 weekends over 5 months, I’m 2 weekends in so far. The trainers are very knowledgeable, experienced and supportive. We learn practically by peer massage practice in class, and also by completing 50 practice massages outside class which is quite a high goal.

The course is very clear about professional masseurs not touching breasts or genitalia and not having sex with clients. This is fine but my clients (I’m giving the massage for free, at least during the course) mainly want sensual (all massage is sensual) erotic touching and happy endings….which I’m usually happy to give. So my reports for the course may have to be a bit selective….

Anyway I’m learning a lot, giving an increasing number of massages, improving my skills & getting really good feedback from my clients, who are mainly 50+ and gay/bi/TV guys as well as family members. I haven’t decided on my post-course plan other than to develop my own practice and work mainly with older people, who mostly have conditions which can benefit from massage, and often have never experienced it.

Do you think massage should be asexual or should we be free to choose?
My client for tomorrow wants ‘a gay massage and finish with being fucked’!

 

[Britva415]

Do you think massage should be asexual or should we be free to choose?

By “we” do you mean the masseur?

Of course you are free to choose NOT to agree to a sexual massage.

You are not free to choose to MAKE it sexual.

Consent goes both ways.

 

[Saint_Ann]

I only do sexual massages.

 

[birdy]

Massage therapy, as it's taught, licensed, and regulated in most states and countries, is a healthcare profession. It's rooted in anatomy, physiology, and trauma-informed care — not sexuality. As licensed massage therapists, we are held to strict ethical and legal guidelines, which clearly state that sexual activity with clients is not permitted and can result in loss of license, fines, or criminal charges.

That doesn't mean people can't choose to offer erotic or sensual touch — but those services are not covered under a massage therapy license. If someone wants to practice erotic bodywork, that’s a personal choice, but it must be done outside the scope of massage licensure and should never be confused with or hidden within therapeutic massage sessions.

Clients deserve a safe space for healing, and therapists deserve to work in an environment where their boundaries are respected. Most people seeking massage are not looking for sexual services — they’re seeking relief from pain, stress, trauma, or injury. Bringing sexual energy into that space without clear, mutual agreement is not only unethical — it’s potentially harmful and illegal.

If someone wants to offer erotic touch, it's far more ethical to advertise transparently within kink-aware or sex-positive communities, not through a therapeutic lens that clients trust to be nonsexual.

We can have freedom of choice — but that choice must come with transparency, respect, and responsibility.

Congratulations on your training! I've been a licensed massage therapist for 15 years and love it. If you have any questions about the practice I'm happy to chat!

 

[Britva415]

Massage therapy, as it's taught, licensed, and regulated in most states and countries, is a healthcare profession. It's rooted in anatomy, physiology, and trauma-informed care — not sexuality. As licensed massage therapists, we are held to strict ethical and legal guidelines, which clearly state that sexual activity with clients is not permitted and can result in loss of license, fines, or criminal charges.

That doesn't mean people can't choose to offer erotic or sensual touch — but those services are not covered under a massage therapy license. If someone wants to practice erotic bodywork, that’s a personal choice, but it must be done outside the scope of massage licensure and should never be confused with or hidden within therapeutic massage sessions.

Clients deserve a safe space for healing, and therapists deserve to work in an environment where their boundaries are respected. Most people seeking massage are not looking for sexual services — they’re seeking relief from pain, stress, trauma, or injury. Bringing sexual energy into that space without clear, mutual agreement is not only unethical — it’s potentially harmful and illegal.

If someone wants to offer erotic touch, it's far more ethical to advertise transparently within kink-aware or sex-positive communities, not through a therapeutic lens that clients trust to be nonsexual.

We can have freedom of choice — but that choice must come with transparency, respect, and responsibility.

Congratulations on your training! I've been a licensed massage therapist for 15 years and love it. If you have any questions about the practice I'm happy to chat!

That's a good representation of the provider side.

What would you say about clients who show up seeking it from licensed therapists?

What would you say about clients who maybe didn't show up seeking it, but, find the experience erotic and become aroused and libidinous mid-treatment?

 

[birdy]

That's a good representation of the provider side.

What would you say about clients who show up seeking it from licensed therapists?

What would you say about clients who maybe didn't show up seeking it, but, find the experience erotic and become aroused and libidinous mid-treatment?

As a licensed therapist I would tell them to leave, because I've done it before. If I don't feel threatened or uncomfortable with that person I'd tell them to seek out erotic touch with someone who advertises it and doesn't advertise themselves as a licensed massage therapist who offers therapeutic massage.

As a client if they came to me, as a licensed therapist, I would tell them that's out of my scope of practice and probably ask them to leave because that would make me really uncomfortable to work on them going forward.

There is nothing wrong with providing erotic touch, but transparency needs to be made if that is what you seek. Look for places that offer "full body relaxation" by people who don't advertise as licensed therapists. It's not worth losing my license to provide that kind of service to someone who decides they want that mid session.

 

[Britva415]

As a licensed therapist I would tell them to leave, because I've done it before. I'd also tell them to seek out erotic touch with someone who advertises it and doesn't advertise themselves as a licensed massage therapist who offers therapeutic massage.

As a client if they came to me, as a licensed therapist, I would tell them that's out of my scope of practice and probably ask them to leave because that would make me really uncomfortable to work on them going forward.

There is nothing wrong with providing erotic touch, but transparency needs to be made if that is what you seek. Look for places that offer "full body relaxation" by people who don't advertise as licensed therapists.

I was kind of asking what you might have thought of being in the shoes of the client and react from their point of view, but I get you.