When keeping it real goes wrong.

[OffNSFW]

Some authors, and a lot of readers, seem mainly interested in erotic fiction that hews to the contrivances we expect from pornography. Me too, sometimes, but there are times when I draw from real life experiences, including ones that are not so idealized. I figure, if it's up to me, why regurgitate all the usual cliches that everyone else uses?

Presently, I'm writing a story in which the two leads have sex, but much of it isn't great. In fact, the first time goes pretty poorly. I know it's not as hot as two people intuitively coming together and having marathon sex while swinging from a chandelier, but it feels more in touch with real human experiences to me. Eventually, we're all going to have something go wrong, and this is supposed to be a story about plausibly real people, not porn stars.

My question is, is it pointless? I know I'm expressing myself honestly through the writing, but readers may not accept it if the sex in the sex story isn't quite what they had in mind. In fact, I already had a previous story ("Gift Givers") get a negative remark because the first sex scene stops in the middle after everything goes wrong.

 

[Comshaw]

Writing is a very personal thing. We pour a lot of who we are into the story. If it were me I'd ask myself a few question: Is it relevant to the story as a whole? What I mean is does it tie into the story, explain something, a situation later in the tale? How do I feel about that particular thing in the story? Do I consider it to be essential to the tale? If I were concerned about turning off the readers, I would also ask how they would receive that section of the story. We all want and look for different things from our audiences.

No matter how good a story you write or how you feel about it, you're still going to get some comments that don't like some or all of it. I would say follow your gut. As the author you know what you are trying to impart to the reader. Do it and to hell with the few troglodites that troll you.

Comshaw

 

[iwatchus]

I have written several sex scenes that go poorly, usually comically bad enough that the characters laugh at themselves. Laughter can be very erotic, too.

My main two characters in my original series try to have sex in the shower porn style. But he is no he-man and she is not a dainty little thing and the whole thing goes horribly wrong. They have a good laugh and finish each other off in a non-spectacular fashion. They joke about it occasionally for the rest of the series. I thought it made it feel real. No one complained. But I would be hesitant to make it be the only sex in a story.

 

[Britva415]

My question is, is it pointless?

Let's unpack this.

Clearly you're asking "is it pointless to readers." And the answer is "not everyone."

You have to answer for yourself whether it's pointless to you and whether it depends on what readers think.

I for one like "keeping it real" stories.

 

[FrancesScott]

My question is, is it pointless? I know I'm expressing myself honestly through the writing, but readers may not accept it if the sex in the sex story isn't quite what they had in mind.

I’ve had a wide variety of feedback - here and elsewhere - around ‘real’ elements like strangers using condoms when they first hook up, or people worrying about STIs. Some readers feel things like this make the story more relatable. Others find it off putting and just want a fantasy where people who know nothing about each other are having bareback anal within minutes of meeting. There is a place for both of course.

I write pure fantasy sometimes, it can be liberating, but I prefer to resonate with reality most of the time. I try to have my characters act as [sometimes exaggerated versions of] regular people, not pornstars. To have real life concerns and motivations.

 

[SyleusSnow]

It's not pointless. Some (most?) readers want quick fantasies to get off to. Others want longer, plausible tales with developed characters and a plot with ups and downs.

I try to write the latter and sometimes succeed. Readers seem to appreciate the effort and the believability, but not all.

There are several stories where the character's first encounter goes wrong. A full enemies-to-lovers trope is also popular. A gradual "getting to know each other" and "getting better together" story can be a rewarding read and hot as hell.

I won't say "write what you like and the readers will follow" -- this is an erotica site after all Readers expect hot sex to happen in the story eventually. Don't be afraid to portray unsatisfying encounters, especially first ones. That's usually how it goes in real life.

 

[NotWise]

Were I to write that, and I've come close, I'd use the failures to build tension and make sure the readers got a payoff before the end of the story.

 

[Bamagan]

I expect most of the people reading this site are coming here for fantasies of one kind or another. Unless a person is rich enough to surround themselves with a cadre of liars, they probably get enough reality in their daily lives that they don't want too much of it intruding into their entertainment. I think it's best used sparingly, like salt. A dash or a pinch here and there can bring out the flavor of the improbable parts, and some have a high tolerance for it, but it can ruin the dish if it's just dumped there.

 

[THBGato]

I've written stories that acknowledged that early on in the relationship the sex was not very good (my most recent Clara and the Solar system is one such story, but I do this in Pygmalion 3.0 too). I felt that this added to the realism yet I didn't describe this sex in much detail - instead the key sex scenes in both stories take place significantly after the main couple have got together, by which point they have learnt to be better at.

But then I mostly write lesbian sex stories, so obviously the sex is always amazing because everyone involved can find the clitoris without a map and a torch, and nobody needs to worry about premature ejaculation.

 

[Bamagan]

I've written stories that acknowledged that early on in the relationship the sex was not very good (my most recent Clara and the Solar system is one such story, but I do this in Pygmalion 3.0 too). I felt that this added to the realism yet I didn't describe this sex in much detail - instead the key sex scenes in both stories take place significantly after the main couple have got together, by which point they have learnt to be better at.

But then I mostly write lesbian sex stories, so obviously the sex is always amazing because everyone involved can find the clitoris without a map and a torch, and nobody needs to worry about premature ejaculation.

Yes, torches and vaginas are rarely a good combination.

 

[FrancesScott]

But then I mostly write lesbian sex stories, so obviously the sex is always amazing because everyone involved can find the clitoris without a map and a torch, and nobody needs to worry about premature ejaculation.

If writing realistically, you also have less need to build in a refractory period than in hetero (and I assume gay male). Seriously, I’ve never met a guy who couldn’t find my clit. They may then have not known what to do with it of course…

 

[FrancesScott]

Yes, torches and vaginas are rarely a good combination.

Possible transatlantic confusion?

 

[THBGato]

Seriously, I’ve never met a guy who couldn’t find my clit.

Wouldn't know, but I believe you! I wasn't really being serious anyway.

 

[Bamagan]

Possible transatlantic confusion?

Fair. An electric torch/flashlight has possibilities.

 

[FrancesScott]

Wouldn't know, but I believe you! I wasn't really being serious anyway.

I know

 

[TheLobster]

Fair. An electric torch/flashlight has possibilities.

Depending on the exact shape, I believe a British torch could be very successfully used on a vagina.



Indeed, it could likely still be used for its primary purpose of emitting light, all at the same time!

 

[Bramblethorn]

Eventually, we're all going to have something go wrong, and this is supposed to be a story about plausibly real people, not porn stars.

My question is, is it pointless? I know I'm expressing myself honestly through the writing, but readers may not accept it if the sex in the sex story isn't quite what they had in mind. In fact, I already had a previous story ("Gift Givers") get a negative remark because the first sex scene stops in the middle after everything goes wrong.

Can't please everybody, but for myself I find those scenes where something goes wrong much more interesting than yet another "they had sex and it was perfect every time" piece. I remember a delightful one from @Kumquatqueen where an orgy gets derailed when one of the participants spots something worrisome on the ceiling. (They make up for it later!)

I've written a few scenes where sex gets interrupted for one reason or another. One of them happened because I realised I had a lot of scenes where people negotiate consent, but then the answer always turned out to be "yes". Asking for consent is meaningless if "yes" is the only possible answer, so I wrote a scene where the answer is "no" because the domme fucked up and pushed a button she shouldn't have pushed.

I had another scene that was meant to be a threesome, but when I got to it I wasn't feeling it; it just seemed out of character that the third would say yes to the offer, given how she felt about the other two. So instead I went with what seemed right for the character, had her mostly turn down the threesome. (She watches but doesn't participate.) That one actually won a Best Sex Scene award, so I gather it worked for at least a few people out there.

 

[MrHereWriting]

Some authors, and a lot of readers, seem mainly interested in erotic fiction that hews to the contrivances we expect from pornography. Me too, sometimes, but there are times when I draw from real life experiences, including ones that are not so idealized. I figure, if it's up to me, why regurgitate all the usual cliches that everyone else uses?

Presently, I'm writing a story in which the two leads have sex, but much of it isn't great. In fact, the first time goes pretty poorly. I know it's not as hot as two people intuitively coming together and having marathon sex while swinging from a chandelier, but it feels more in touch with real human experiences to me. Eventually, we're all going to have something go wrong, and this is supposed to be a story about plausibly real people, not porn stars.

My question is, is it pointless? I know I'm expressing myself honestly through the writing, but readers may not accept it if the sex in the sex story isn't quite what they had in mind. In fact, I already had a previous story ("Gift Givers") get a negative remark because the first sex scene stops in the middle after everything goes wrong.

Just because this is a fantasy site doesn't mean every story has to be about fantastic sex.

Edit: Reminds me of Dave Chappelle, When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Can't please everybody, but for myself I find those scenes where something goes wrong much more interesting than yet another "they had sex and it was perfect every time" piece. I remember a delightful one from @Kumquatqueen where an orgy gets derailed when one of the participants spots something worrisome on the ceiling. (They make up for it later!)

I just read my name and 'derailed when one of the participants spots something worrisome on the ceiling. (They make up for it later!)' and thought 'hey, that time my girlfriend remarked that we'd actually had a successful date for once and the roof hadn't fallen in, and I looked up and noticed that actually a huge amount of the ceiling had, wasn't actually an orgy! Just me and her!'

Then I realised you were talking about a story of mine, not my life! (Sex Swing Satisfaction has MC in a sex club but he's also a fire safety engineer... it's more about how many men can one guy fuck in a Valentine's story!)

I like reading real sex, so it's not always perfect when I write it, especially first time. One young woman has panic attacks when trying to have penetrative sex with her first boyfriend. A guy coughs and chokes when trying to give his first blow job, (on a dildo) after mistaking a female customer for a man in the dim light (his night gets better). Some BDSM equipment breaks. A woman playing with a guy for the first time cries 'stop' and is jolted out of subspace because he does. Sometimes sex is just pleasant and gets you thinking about next time.

I also like subverting expectations. Currently working on a story where a guy is persuaded to try BDSM for the first time. But unlike most stories, the conclusion is he's not actually into it

 

[Cagivagurl]

Some authors, and a lot of readers, seem mainly interested in erotic fiction that hews to the contrivances we expect from pornography. Me too, sometimes, but there are times when I draw from real life experiences, including ones that are not so idealized. I figure, if it's up to me, why regurgitate all the usual cliches that everyone else uses?

Presently, I'm writing a story in which the two leads have sex, but much of it isn't great. In fact, the first time goes pretty poorly. I know it's not as hot as two people intuitively coming together and having marathon sex while swinging from a chandelier, but it feels more in touch with real human experiences to me. Eventually, we're all going to have something go wrong, and this is supposed to be a story about plausibly real people, not porn stars.

My question is, is it pointless? I know I'm expressing myself honestly through the writing, but readers may not accept it if the sex in the sex story isn't quite what they had in mind. In fact, I already had a previous story ("Gift Givers") get a negative remark because the first sex scene stops in the middle after everything goes wrong.

Write what feels good for you. There is always an audience.
A story about relationships rather than a description of fabulous sex wins hands down in my case.
I seek out stories revolving around interpersonal connections, the love hate, like dislike.
It is the heart of most stories in here.
My preferences push me towards stories that at least hint at reality... Plausible... Rich dialogue, flawed characters...

So long as you enjoy writing it. How could it possibly be pointless???

Cagivagurl

 

[designatedvictim]

My question is, is it pointless?

I don't think so, at all.

Despite how we all want things to go, sometimes things go wrong.

My latest had the first full sex scene where the guy was ending a kinda-long dry spell. Once he was mounted, he went a little obsessive. Grabbed hold of her and rolled her onto her back so he could be on top. During the... transition... he slipped out. Got really frustrated. Once on top, he basically tried to jam it into her - and missed.

Both got hurt, both yelped in pain, but he rallied, properly aligned himself, then went back to business.

Afterward, he apologizes, asked if she was OK.

"I'll live," she let out with a sigh. "If nothing else, it woke me up."

She looked at me again and added, in a mildly chiding tone, "Please don't do that again. That hurt."

It didn't dominate the scene, but it did feel like it could go like that. It didn't ruin anything, but it wasn't ignored, either.

No readers commented on it.

(And, in case anyone is wondering, no, she wasn't asleep. It was just a sunrise coupling.)

 

[SinclairGroupLLP]

My question is, is it pointless? I know I'm expressing myself honestly through the writing, but readers may not accept it if the sex in the sex story isn't quite what they had in mind. In fact, I already had a previous story ("Gift Givers") get a negative remark because the first sex scene stops in the middle after everything goes wrong.

No. In fact, I think it can be better because it’s more relatable. Yes, we watch porn to get off. And yes sometimes you;red just in the mood for a quick stroker. But there are times when I want to settle in, read a good story that has a plot and characters I can like and identify with.

Who hasn’t had a bad sexual experience? To me, that helps make the stories realistic. Even if the premise is completely implausible, throwing in some regular, real people sexual experiences can help to ground the story.

In my series, I’ve tried to do that. I’ve had guys not able to get it up for a variety of reasons. I did one chapter recently where every sex scene was interrupted at one point by a phone call, and in a few the POV character never got off. I’ve had scenes where there was sex but neither partner got off, or only one did, leaving the other frustrated or unhappy. In the end, that stuff can be just as hot and add just as much to a story as marathon sex with a dozen orgasms a piece.

At least, that’s my take.

 

[MrStill]

Agreed that we write what we write. In my just published first time story Record Everything uh spoiler coming up, the couple don't quite get to The First Time. The story seems to have gone down okay regardless.