Older Male Seeking Female Friends Who Can Tolerate "Dad Jokes"

[Deadbed1968]

Two goldfish are in a tank. One fish turns to the other and says “ do you know how to drive this thing?”

 

[Lichen2CU]

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

True story!

 

[Lichen2CU]

My girlfriend poked me in both eyes!! I stopped seeing her

Good call!

 

[Lichen2CU]

So here’s a mom joke.

Science teacher: “When is the boiling point reached?”
Student: “When my mother sees my report card!”

 

[Lichen2CU]

What’s red and smells like blue paint?


Red Paint. <rim shot>

Of course!!

 

[Lichen2CU]

Two goldfish are in a tank. One fish turns to the other and says “ do you know how to drive this thing?”

... Good one.

 

[Lichen2CU]

Me too.
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite. But they are a solid #2

Much better than a "runny #2",,,

 

[Lichen2CU]

What's the best food to eat when in a swamp?

 

[Lichen2CU]

Marshed Potatoes...

 

[Lichen2CU]

When is a cucumber the sickest?

 

[Lichen2CU]

When it's a pukel.

 

[Bigbobnc]

Ok got a new one hopefully

No matter how hard you push an envelope it’s still stationary…….

 

[Wouldlovetoo]

Wouldlovetoo... A pleasure to meet you as well!

Nice meeting you, you do make me laugh and smile. I've always been a fan of dad jokes. They tickle my funny bone or is that my humerous.

 

[Wouldlovetoo]

wouldlovetoo??? Are you still enjoying the jokes or have you moved on to less puny places?

Sorry I had to go call from my daughter, she beats out lit Everytime.

 

[Lichen2CU]

Ok got a new one hopefully

No matter how hard you push an envelope it’s still stationary…….

So true...

 

[Lichen2CU]

Nice meeting you, you do make me laugh and smile. I've always been a fan of dad jokes. They tickle my funny bone or is that my humerous.

I see what you did there... slipping in a "Dad Joke"...

 

[Lichen2CU]

Sorry I had to go call from my daughter, she beats out lit Everytime.

Of course!!! RT/family always first...

 

[Deadbed1968]

A friend said to me “What rhymes with orange”

I said “No it doesn’t”…

 

[Deadbed1968]

As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said


“One really would have been enough”…

 

[Lichen2CU]

As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said


“One really would have been enough”…

Good ones!

 

[Lichen2CU]

How do you spit in straight line?

(Use a drooler...)

 

[Dstorage]

Where do you weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow.

 

[Draven1442]

How do you measure a chili pepper?


Give it weigh now, give it a weigh now

 

[Liberia]

Wow! You've got a LOT on your plate. Fostering AND doing a Ph.D. Oh my.... I did a Ph.D. in my 20s - but that was a long time ago. What, if I may ask, is your area of study. I was a biologist

I find biology super fascinating and am willing to learn a lot from you, but I do some kind of data science with large datasets, it is a mixture of computer science and humanities.

 

[Lichen2CU]

Where do you weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow.

Dang! Somebody may have to explain this one to me...