Non-erotic poetry (that is, Poetry)

[Angeline]

No no...this is the kind of feedback I needed! Thank you!

I did wish to keep a distant speaker, like an observer who watches, and like everyone else, goes about their day. but yes, I see that perhaps, the fact that he noti ces it, sets him apart..

Thank you, something to keep wotking on. This will help me find my voice again!

I'm glad it helped!

 

[42BelowsBack]

. And that gets to my second point, what I think is really missing. I feel like something personal about the narrator, something that clarifies *why* this frail flower struggling to endure in an unlikely environment is so important to him. I feel like making that connection, putting the humanity into the poem, would be really good. To me it's beautiful writing but without the personal connection it ultimately feels sterile.

In my big assed opinion…

(Acknowledging this is a draft. Not a finished poem). I agree with Angeline in the sense that a serious poem should read like it matters to the poet (so says Star Wars Conan).

Having said that, I use Lit forums to post explorations of voice. I love reading poems like this. Nothing beats seeing the explorations of a theme.

Now for the promised Big Assed opinion… … consistency composes a poem.

 

[42BelowsBack]

On Porn Poems

A summary of porn poems; I fuck like this, I fuck you like that.

 

[42BelowsBack]

On Porn Poems that matter to the poet.

Mouth Melting Moments
Irish ice cream loving sun,
those twin views are ice,
sweat, trickling diamonds

@ThatIrishGirl
my eyes come
tongue tribute
you in a poem.

Thanks @SpermFactory for sharing your effusiveness. I think all would agree, it’s the act of composing porn poems that really matters.

 

[SpermFactory]

On Porn Poems that matter to the poet.

Mouth Melting Moments
Irish ice cream loving sun,
those twin views are ice,
sweat, trickling diamonds

@ThatIrishGirl
my eyes come
tongue tribute
you in a poem.

Thanks @SpermFactory for sharing your effusiveness. I think all would agree, it’s the act of composing porn poems that really matters.

TY I see your Big Assed opinion and share my Bigger Assed opinion:

I the motion in these lines:

There is a flower, pressed from skyward impulse,
curling down in the iron daylight—

And, question whether it works too hard? Please be advised I agree with myself.

 

[42BelowsBack]

On feedback

These three things I know to be self evident, read, write, receive and give feedback.

Steven King once a aspiring author drove a nail into his bedroom wall. To impale all his rejection letters. Similarly, I enjoy writing rejection letters to my rejections letters.

Every word in a poem should put in work especially titles. Especially important in poems like Fragment with Petal and Pavement. Is there space for the title to unlock the stylistically clever word smithery? A title acting as a key?

I subscribe to the idea; a well wrought poem is entirely consistent in theme, tone, and tense. And, every word must put in work. Example, ‘The sidewalk splits like an age,‘ vs The sidewalk splits an age.

Like SpermFactory I am a fan of Fragment with a Petal and Pavement. However, I feel Fragment with a Petal and Pavement is best served as a stand alone poem. Not part of a triptych.

Thank you NivKay for sharing your essay. If we’re not sharing what are we doing here? The greatest developmental gift poet to poet is getting to ignore the other poet. Or not.

 

[Angeline]

On feedback

These three things I know to be self evident, read, write, receive and give feedback.

Steven King once a aspiring author drove a nail into his bedroom wall. To impale all his rejection letters. Similarly, I enjoy writing rejection letters to my rejections letters.

Every word in a poem should put in work especially titles. Especially important in poems like Fragment with Petal and Pavement. Is there space for the title to unlock the stylistically clever word smithery? A title acting as a key?

I subscribe to the idea; a well wrought poem is entirely consistent in theme, tone, and tense. And, every word must put in work. Example, ‘The sidewalk splits like an age,‘ vs The sidewalk splits an age.

Like SpermFactory I am a fan of Fragment with a Petal and Pavement. However, I feel Fragment with a Petal and Pavement is best served as a stand alone poem. Not part of a triptych.

Thank you NivKay for sharing your essay. If we’re not sharing what are we doing here? The greatest developmental gift poet to poet is getting to ignore the other poet. Or not.

A poet once told me that after I write a poem I should take out ten words that don't add anything to the poem. Then go back and cut more and keep doing it until there's nothing extraneous left. I am not always so effective in that being a wordy biotch but I try. That's my (moderately sized ass) opinion.

 

[SpermFactory]

A poet once told me that after I write a poem I should take out ten words that don't add anything to the poem. Then go back and cut more and keep doing it until there's nothing extraneous left. I am not always so effective in that being a wordy biotch but I try. That's my (moderately sized ass) opinion.

Mmmmmm tasty moderately assed sized opinion

 

[ThatIrishGirl]

On Porn Poems that matter to the poet.

Mouth Melting Moments
Irish ice cream loving sun,
those twin views are ice,
sweat, trickling diamonds

@ThatIrishGirl
my eyes come
tongue tribute
you in a poem.

Thanks @SpermFactory for sharing your effusiveness. I think all would agree, it’s the act of composing porn poems that really matters.

love this although I don't think I'm deserving of such a tribute lol

 

[_Land]

A poet once told me that after I write a poem I should take out ten words that don't add anything to the poem. Then go back and cut more and keep doing it until there's nothing extraneous left. I am not always so effective in that being a wordy biotch but I try. That's my (moderately sized ass) opinion.

My Moderately Sized Ass Opinion
(a poetical protest in cheeky defense)

A poet once told me—
cut ten words.
Then ten more.
Then your soul.

Soon all that's left
is a sigh
in a haiku
wearing minimalist pants.

But here’s
my moderately sized ass opinion:
I like words
the way a raccoon likes trash—
with fervor.
With fingers.
With zero shame.

I want adjectives
that sparkle like disco balls in church,
adverbs that prance in stilettos
across lines too long for sonnets,
and metaphors so bloated
they need Spanx
and a forklift.

You want spare?
Go date a monk.
I want poems
with meat on their bones,
hips that knock over furniture,
and clauses that wander off
mid-thought
to flirt with the margins.

Yes, I know—
brevity is the soul of wit.
But sometimes
a bitch needs
an extra stanza
and a sassy footnote.

So cut if you must.
Trim your verbal bush
to a respectable haiku.
But I’ll be over here,
with my rhymes
my run-ons
and my rococo commas—

shakin’ my moderately sized ass
in full poetic protest.

 

[_Land]

I miss discussions like this..... I was hoping to get better engagement in the new poetry thread.... But if I'm being honest there is not a lot of great poetry being submitted to lit anymore ......

 

[_Land]

My Moderately Sized Ass Opinion
(a poetical protest in cheeky defense)

A poet once told me—
cut ten words.
Then ten more.
Then your soul.

Soon all that's left
is a sigh
in a haiku
wearing minimalist pants.

But here’s
my moderately sized ass opinion:
I like words
the way a raccoon likes trash—
with fervor.
With fingers.
With zero shame.

I want adjectives
that sparkle like disco balls in church,
adverbs that prance in stilettos
across lines too long for sonnets,
and metaphors so bloated
they need Spanx
and a forklift.

You want spare?
Go date a monk.
I want poems
with meat on their bones,
hips that knock over furniture,
and clauses that wander off
mid-thought
to flirt with the margins.

Yes, I know—
brevity is the soul of wit.
But sometimes
a bitch needs
an extra stanza
and a sassy footnote.

So cut if you must.
Trim your verbal bush
to a respectable haiku.
But I’ll be over here,
with my rhymes
my run-ons
and my rococo commas—

shakin’ my moderately sized ass
in full poetic protest.

Response from a Slim Poem in Tight Jeans
(minimalist revenge)

Too many carbs.
Too much sass.
This poem
needs
a salad.

Adverbs?
Gone.
Your metaphors?
Evicted.

You wrote a buffet.
I came for tapas.

Less is more.
Except your ass.
That’s
just
enough.

 

[SpermFactory]

I like words
the way a raccoon likes trash—

Love this line.

 

[SpermFactory]

But if I'm being honest there is not a lot of great poetry being submitted to lit anymore

Don’t be a peninsula. I hate realy realy realy dislikeing this line. Every poem ever written was loved by someone.

 

[_Land]

Don’t be a peninsula. I hate this line. Every poem ever written was loved by someone.

I'm not a particular fan of how I feel about the poetry either but I can't change the way I feel

A long time ago there was an amazing amount of poet submitting poetry and there was a lot of great poetry being submitted but when you go and look at the new poems now there's very few poets submitting new poetry and some of the poetry that submitted well go read some of it yourself...........

I read the poetry that submitted almost every day


And when you want to review a poem you want something that has meat something that has quality to it,

Something that captures your imagination.

Not a lot of the new poetry submitted right now is doing that for me.

I would encourage you to do some reviews yourself that's an open forum and open for all of us to review poetry that inspires us

The goal is to help others find poems and is well to learn about form and what makes poetry great


And I agree every poem written was loved by somebody but that doesn't necessarily mean it's me or you.....


or that we should find appreciation for every poem written. If it doesn't speak to us it doesn't speak to us

 

[SpermFactory]

My Poetics Review

Poems are like ice cream, there is a flavor for everyone. And like poems some poets are vegans. That’s the beauty of poetry. It is everything and nothing. A fellow poet’s enjoyment is a wonder to behold, beating down a poem is not.

 

[_Land]

My Poetics Review

Poems are like ice cream, there is a flavor for everyone. And like poems some poets are vegans. That’s the beauty of poetry. It is everything and nothing. A fellow poet’s enjoyment is a wonder to behold, beating down a poem is not.

And this is why I'm encouraging you to do a review or two in the new poetry section


I will never beat down poetry although I will review honestly and on occasion offer suggestions....

But I'm not going to take a poem that I'm gagging on and post it there LOL

I'd love to see the new poetry thread have everybody involved again and talking about the poetry that inspires them

 

[SpermFactory]

Land let’s be honest, to compare poems against poems is akin to comparing cock size.

Encourage away dear sir, encourage away. I for one review poems with an emoji vocabulary: Like, Love, WoW.

And occasionally review by the odd line; by and large I do love your poetry Land. As for gagging, this is Lit, gagging is poetically permissible and for some sexually desirable.

As for the halcyon days of yesteryear I send those poets my love from the here and now.

 

[SpermFactory]

This line I love, ‘I'd love to see the new poetry thread have everybody involved again and talking about the poetry that inspires them.’ Because here we are doing exactly that, in a new day, in a new way. And yes we need more oxygen.

And less SpermFactory.

 

[SpermFactory]

Speaking of gagging or more aptly choking, Oh 42Below s back what about that Jazz refrain of Angelines… still waiting buddy for your blow back!

 

[42BelowsBack]

Speaking of gagging or more aptly choking, Oh 42Below s back what about that Jazz refrain of Angelines… still waiting buddy for your blow back!

hey buddy gott fuck yourself, no with the other hand Yeah yeah yeah SpermFactory Shuddup.

 

[42BelowsBack]

And less SpermFactory.

I Love this line (haha).

 

[NivKay]

Oh my!

I'm on the road...hadn't checked in for a day, and all you people...! such joy...thank you all!

 

[NivKay]

I miss discussions like this..... I was hoping to get better engagement in the new poetry thread.... But if I'm being honest there is not a lot of great poetry being submitted to lit anymore ......

What new poetry thread?

 

[_Land]

What new poetry thread?

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/new-poem-recommendations.904458/