Out Boast the Poster Above You

[AlwaysDancing]

My cum is so potent, it will tattoo my name on the back of your throat for all to see when you say “Ahhhh”

 

[calmlikeabomb]

What more can you do to hurt me
When my memories stretch like thorns to eternity

 

[bbcbarry9033]

What more can you do to hurt me
When my memories stretch like thorns to eternity

I'll stretch your mammaries
and your twat
and your asshole

 

[albunk]

I smoke ribs that are fantastic.

 

[chame1eon]

I smoke ribs that are fantastic.

I can put my foot on my ear lol

 

[Seokrocks]

I can put my foot on my ear lol

That’s better than the time you put your foot on my ear!

My wife can hear things I never said!

 

[Coyote100]

No. Never a need.

 

[AnomalyLady]

No. Never a need.

You didn’t do it right, ya dog.

 

[Quimpossibility]

I make love in a way that turns vampires mortal. The old ways, as were taught in secret by fallen gods whose names are spoken in dark whispers. At the discount aisles of cheap supermarkets

 

[Photog1rl]

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like, it's better than yours
Damn right it's better than yours
I can teach you, but I have to charge

 

[Sunlover102]

My insanity is way better than your insanity.

 

[Coyote100]

I have been abducted by aliens many times, but always rejected for not being a human specimen.

 

[Jw75766]

My cums so tasty, Chef Ramsey asked me for my recipe!

 

[horny_hiker]

Mine's so thicc Kim Kardashian asked me to spray it over her booty

 

[horny_hiker]

I can slay your booty in no time. No sitting for two days

 

[deft]

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion... I've watched C-beams glitter in the dark, near the Tannhauser gate...

 

[TheStefanSinadinovicLore]

I've done things you people wouldn't survive... bodies trembling in zero-G, moaning my name across Martian canyons... I've watched lovers lose their minds tracing the orbit of my girth, spinning slowly like C-beams around the Tannhauser Gate...

Time may take all things but the echoes of what I’ve done with this cosmic-sized gift? They'll shimmer forever in the dark.

 

[Jodaily]

I made so many monumental things in just six days that I had to take a day off.

 

[Divindisguise]

My eye is so big and fiery that the fair folk of Mordor built a tower to hold it up.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

My eye is so big and fiery that the fair folk of Mordor built a tower to hold it up.

That's not a tower. Also explains why your eye's so red....

 

[Divindisguise]

That's not a tower. Also explains why your eye's so red....

The reason Orc-women were not part of the story is because they were ALL in my harem.

 

[Jodaily]

Harems of orc women?! Ooh yuck! No comparison to my harem of sweet looking fairy women. And no, not that kind of fairy! Mostly not.

 

[SpicyBean99]

What’s this talk about sweet looking fairy women? I’m a real ass forest nymph, harnessing powers of seduction from Aphrodite herself. Druids themselves have offered their souls for a mere single touch of my lips.

 

[Shenanigans90]

What’s this talk about sweet looking fairy women? I’m a real ass forest nymph, harnessing powers of seduction from Aphrodite herself. Druids themselves have offered their souls for a mere single touch of my lips.

Your boobs are fabulous but they will never be as hairy as mine.

 

[Chernosoth]

What I sneezed a few seconds ago tastes better and is more nutritious than the best meal you ever cooked.