On 2nd person

[ShelbyDawn57]

Personally not a fan. I found this article and thought I’d share.

 

[iwatchus]

I don't expect to try. But maybe for a 750 just to see how I like it?

 

[Gamblnluck]

Personally, I refuse to read a 2nd person narrative. I hate being told what I did

 

[Bamagan]

Nothing takes me out of a story faster than the assertion that I'm in it.

 

[SimonDoom]

Nothing takes me out of a story faster than the assertion that I'm in it.

You wonder what you are doing in a story at Literotica.

"I gotta get out of this place," you think. "I didn't sign up for this deal."

But you pause for a moment, collect your thoughts, and realize something feels different. You check under your pants, and sure enough, your organ has grown several inches since the last time you checked it out in the "real world."

"Maybe I could get used to this," you tell yourself.

Suddenly the members of a college cheerleading squad emerge from a bar. All wear crop tops barely concealing enormous, unfettered breasts. All of the lissome beauties also sport a pair of coltish legs barely covered by matching tiny pleated skirts. They laugh among one another until they see you. Their eyes drift to the bulge in your pants and their mouths open with surprise and awe.

"Hey stranger," three of them say to you in unison.

You decide that being in your own erotic story isn't so bad after all.

 

[Voboy]

Personally, I refuse to read a 2nd person narrative. I hate being told what I did

Nothing takes me out of a story faster than the assertion that I'm in it.

Yup.

I wouldn’t read it, so I won’t write it.

 

[PennyThompson]

I think the only way I might ever attempt 2nd person would be with something intentionally weird and experimental, like a faux-Choose-Your-Own-Adventure thing. (I know you can make actual interactive stories here in theory, but I tried looking at how they work once and my eyes glazed over)

2nd person erotica kind of icks me out, it feels too much like non-consensual roleplay in a way, which is something that just about every single person with an even vaguely fem name here has probably experienced via DM

 

[Areala-chan]

Second-person is so tricky to get right, and even trickier to maintain for very long outside of specific formats where it's called for, such as a visual novel or Choose Your Own Adventure or Fighting Fantasy style book. It's a tool so easy to bludgeon with, and someone who sets out to write a story where their intention is, "You're my puppet, and I'm going to make you see and do what I want" isn't using it correctly. Like pounding in a nail with a pipe wrench. You can do it, but nobody's going to pick the wrench over the hammer if they have the choice.

However, when used correctly, in the sense of, "Turn on your imagination for a minute, and really consider what this would be like," I think it's phenomenal. Think about Grant's bit with the velociraptor claw and the kid at the beginning of Jurassic Park. That whole short scene is in second person as Grant narrates:

"Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous period. You get your first look at this 'six-foot turkey' as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird: lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still, because you think maybe his visual acuity is based on movement, like T-Rex, and he'll lose you if you don't move. But not Velociraptor. You stare at him... And he just stares right back.

"And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front--but from the sides. From the other two raptors you didn't even know were there. Because Velociraptor's a pack hunter, you see: he uses coordinated attack patterns, and he is out in force today.

"And he slashes at you with this. A six-inch, retractable claw, like a razor, on a middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, see, oh no. He slashes at you here. Or, here. Or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. But the point is... you are alive when they start to eat you."

The anecdote works well because it's short, and because Grant stages it as a quick game of "Let's pretend" with a handy visual aid to drive the point home. While it's ostensibly for the "benefit" of the kid, the real reason it works is because nobody in the audience can fail to hear the line, "you are alive when they start to eat you" and not imagine how horrible that must feel.

That's the power of second-person.

 

[ronde]

Second-person is so tricky to get right, and even trickier to maintain for very long outside of specific formats where it's called for, such as a visual novel or Choose Your Own Adventure or Fighting Fantasy style book. It's a tool so easy to bludgeon with, and someone who sets out to write a story where their intention is, "You're my puppet, and I'm going to make you see and do what I want" isn't using it correctly. Like pounding in a nail with a pipe wrench. You can do it, but nobody's going to pick the wrench over the hammer if they have the choice.

However, when used correctly, in the sense of, "Turn on your imagination for a minute, and really consider what this would be like," I think it's phenomenal. Think about Grant's bit with the velociraptor claw and the kid at the beginning of Jurassic Park. That whole short scene is in second person as Grant narrates:

"Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous period. You get your first look at this six-foot turkey as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird: lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still, because you think maybe his visual acuity is based on movement, like T-Rex, and he'll lose you if you don't move. But not Velociraptor. You stare at him... And he just stares right back.

"And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front--but from the sides. From the other two raptors you didn't even know were there. Because Velociraptor's a pack hunter, you see: he uses coordinated attack patterns, and he is out in force today.

"And he slashes at you with this. A six-inch, retractable claw, like a razor, on a middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, see, oh no. He slashes at you here. Or, here. Or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. But the point is... you are alive when they start to eat you."

The anecdote works well because it's short, and because Grant stages it as a quick game of "Let's pretend" with a handy visual aid to drive the point home. While it's ostensibly for the "benefit" of the kid, the real reason it works is because nobody in the audience can fail to hear the line, "you are alive when they start to eat you" and not imagine how horrible that must feel.

That's the power of second-person.

Your example is not second person narrative. Your example is first person narrative because Grant is not telling the other character what he or she feels. He's just describing what would happen and what that character might do or feel during that event. As you point out with "Let's pretend", the reactions are not the only possible reactions. They are just possible reactions and leaves it up to the viewer to decide how those might apply to him or her. The use of "you" does not make it second person anymore than if a character said, "You would feel the same way wouldn't you?"

True second person is the author ("I") telling the reader ("you") how the reader feels, reacts, or has a particular emotion in response to some action by "I". Those feelings, emotions, and reactions are absolute, as in there is no room for imagination on the part of the reader. The reader is suppose to somehow accept that those feelings, emotions, and reactions are exactly what they would feel during the event describe. Most male readers would not appreciate reading the male narrator caused them to have tightly swollen nipples and a dripping pussy. Most female readers would find it very difficult to identify with shooting white ropes of cum from their rock hard twelve inch cock.

Second person is one of those definitions that had to go somewhere in the definitions of types of literature. It is better left where it is, sandwiched between the two major points of view to wither on the vine.

 

[Bamagan]

I think the only way I might ever attempt 2nd person would be with something intentionally weird and experimental, like a faux-Choose-Your-Own-Adventure thing. (I know you can make actual interactive stories here in theory, but I tried looking at how they work once and my eyes glazed over)

2nd person erotica kind of icks me out, it feels too much like non-consensual roleplay in a way, which is something that just about every single person with an even vaguely fem name here has probably experienced via DM

I suppose that, by choosing to read such a work, the reader is giving a form of implicit consent to the 'roleplay' aspect of the story. I second (pun intended) the ick factor, though. I think it's akin to someone who stands too close, or likes to put their hand on your arm when they talk; it feels like an unwarranted assumption of familiarities.

 

[SimonDoom]

It feels gimmicky and unnatural to me, except perhaps in small doses. I wrote one for the 750 word challenge. It was worth doing as an exercise, but, predictably, it's score and views don't match the numbers o usually achieve with E & V stories.

 

[WittyUserName]

Personally not a fan. I found this article and thought I’d share.

I have to agree with others here. I don't like reading it, and I have no intention of trying to write it.

 

[Britva415]

Personally not a fan. I found this article and thought I’d share.

"Enhances immersion" my ass.

 

[SimonDoom]

2nd person erotica kind of icks me out, it feels too much like non-consensual roleplay in a way, which is something that just about every single person with an even vaguely fem name here has probably experienced via DM

You look up at your master, hands cuffed, savoring every moment of your submission. You--

Yes, you do. You love it. Your whole life, you've looked forward to this moment, and--

Stop arguing. You know you want this. Your eyes grow wide and--

Damnit, I'm trying to tell the story.

Whoops. Shit.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

I'm on that niche. I like the second person. I've written a few times in second person. However, I would still consider it more of a risky gamble than a bold choice. I mean, done poorly, it's pretty much gaslighting the reader into a railroad, hence why it works better when there's some interactive input, and I'm not talking about just the written word upon Interactive Fiction, but also Oral Storytelling, tales at the campfire, playing pretend, TTRPGs...

Maybe the first reason it falls flat is because it already assumes that the reader is a character in the first place. It doesn't give a warning or a buildup before saying "hey, you the one reading it, you are the hero, and you are going to see everything from their eyes!" or something similar, but in a more subtle manner. Not everyone is into it, and I mean, sure you can write on second person if that interests you, but this is one of the things where it's best to stay safe and do first or third person instead.

YMMV.

 

[stickygirl]

Most sissy-role-play hypno-porn videos are second person. No spoilers from me though - do a search and by midnight you'll be wearing those pink cuffs and calling daddy 'master' because you're a naughty little sissy and...

 

[StillStunned]

I wasn't ever going to try this again, but you know what? I'm inspired. Or challenged. Or something.

 

[THBGato]

I fully intend to write a second-person story. However, it'll be my final Literotica story before I go cold turkey and move onto my next obsession, so once I post it I won't be around to hear the deafening silence/howls of outrage/snarky comments (delete as appropriate).

Plus, it'll be written for women to read and published in lesbian, and if male readers have a problem imagining themselves as the protagonist... well, that will be entirely the point.

 

[AoiEndo]

"There is a moment when you think, she can't. Surely, she can't.

But there is a beat, as if the world's heart skips just a little, as if something has been fractured. You try to work out what has happened. When a second ago, when everything felt like the world was spinning on its axis, like an ancient woman gathering fuel in a vacant lot, when all the wheels that have turned, and turned, were turning and turning, just as you had expected, and still expect, when everything a second ago worked as if on cue, clockwork, how was it now that these things seem the strangest things to you.

You look around, the tables, chairs, they still remain where they were a second ago, the barista, whose oily hair you have never been able to appreciate, even if he makes the best coffees, all these things all seem, as Hamlet would say, common.

And yet, when she looks at you, the way she still looks at you, as if someone has slid a knife through you, you have the feeling like, you don't know what, that you want to sink into the ground, or failing which, wait for her command."

Written on a whim. Forgive me

 

[StillStunned]

I might set up a Writing Exercise later today, just so people can get it out of their system.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I fully intend to write a second-person story. However, it'll be my final Literotica story before I go cold turkey and move onto my next obsession, so once I post it I won't be around to hear the deafening silence/howls of outrage/snarky comments (delete as appropriate).

Plus, it'll be written for women to read and published in lesbian, and if male readers have a problem imagining themselves as the protagonist... well, that will be entirely the point.

Um, is ‘can’t wait’ an appropriate response here???

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I wrote one that was fairly well received. It's stuck at 4.48 at the moment but it's bounced back and forth on either side of the red H line.

One of the reasons it isn't more common is because it can be very limiting.

 

[AoiEndo]

I wrote one that was fairly well received. It's stuck at 4.48 at the moment but it's bounced back and forth on either side of the red H line.

One of the reasons it isn't more common is because it can be very limiting.

I would have to disagree.. The 2nd person opens up avenues for perspectival shifts. I don’t think it is any more limiting than 1st person.
Perhaps it boils down to comfort levels. 2nd person I’d exciting because it demands a lot from the writer.

 

[Erozetta]

I've (until the writing exercise, anyway) only done a sort of faux 2nd person. First person telling a story or things to a direct second character. People don't seem to absolutely hate those.

Dream a Little Dream of Me Erotic Couplings. Features a character talking about a dream within another dream. Features both angst and a bit of playfulness, slightly rough shower sex, and unwanted confessions of love. (Honestly, I probably should've put it in romance, but it would've done much worse there, I'm sure.)

Collars and Cravings I plan on turning this one into an audio story. Fetish. Features dom/sub dynamic, collar (obviously), and spanking.

Both are around or just under 8k words.

 

[AG31]

Personally, I refuse to read a 2nd person narrative. I hate being told what I did

I'm surprised at the number of people here that interpret a second person narrative as addressing the reader. I always think of it as giving me a peek into one character's opinions about another character.