What Are You Thinking? Continued 14

[CuriousRick]

Exactly! Extremely gun shy of getting “involved” again. I’m at the point now if I ever hear “I’d never ghost you”that will be a big red flag for me.

Sorry ghosting hurts more then them just saying they are moving on

 

[OldDirtyAltGuy]

Fucked off. No- one gives a damn.
Ghosted and had enough of investing in people when none is returned.

Dude. You give alts a bad name.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Does it really matter if Lit has changed? People come and go, some are still here. Certainly people change. That's life and living. I've changed a lot, and yet still the same in so many ways. Just fucking engage and see what happens. That part of Lit has not changed. Do not dwell too long in missing the past of Lit. It does little for anyone. Move forward one way or another.

I think I encountered a thread lamenting the “good old days of Lit” and discussing the changes that were “ruining Lit” in my first week on the forum, lol.

Short sun dresses aren't made for leather seats and high temps.

Ooouuuuch!

 

[kieranhalcyon01]

That I can't wait until I can go to bed

 

[jason28053]

I think we found @AmberLGreen

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[cheekygirl75]

I think we found @AmberLGreen

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I think you did!!

 

[Girly_girl]

Sorry ghosting hurts more then them just saying they are moving on

Agreed. I’d much rather have someone say, “ Hey, I can’t do this anymore.” I’d be disappointed but I’d understand.

 

[CuriousRick]

Agreed. I’d much rather have someone say, “ Hey, I can’t do this anymore.” I’d be disappointed but I’d understand.

Especially someone you have been talking to a lot, who just stops answering messages

 

[Girly_girl]

Especially someone you have been talking to a lot, who just stops answering messages

This 100%!

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

And I get that life happens I really do, it’s just hard to explain what I meant in my last post.

No, I know, and it's a complicated set of emotions to explain. Every relationship worth having that lasts for any meaningful amount of time has its complications. That's just life, man. And, I'm sorry, I'm probably not articulating myself well.

 

[Photog1rl]

Agreed. I’d much rather have someone say, “ Hey, I can’t do this anymore.” I’d be disappointed but I’d understand.

When I’ve suggested this to folks I’m told that it’s mean and it’s better to just slowly stop responding until someone “gets the point.” I am shit at responding and have let things drift with great people but none of those have been an attempt at letting someone down without saying anything. They’ve just been me being a bad/inconsistent communicator or in my own head. It doesn’t make it better if it feels like ghosting to the other person and I am sorry for this. If I am done talking to someone, friend or otherwise, I’m direct about it. Maybe too much so.

 

[Girly_girl]

No, I know, and it's a complicated set of emotions to explain. Every relationship worth having that lasts for any meaningful amount of time has its complications. That's just life, man. And, I'm sorry, I'm probably not articulating myself well.

Don’t worry about it, maybe I should just start having their state of mind when it comes to making a connection. Perhaps it would hurt less.

 

[JerseyJade]

Agreed. I’d much rather have someone say, “ Hey, I can’t do this anymore.” I’d be disappointed but I’d understand.

Hugs!

 

[Girly_girl]

When I’ve suggested this to folks I’m told that it’s mean and it’s better to just slowly stop responding until someone “gets the point.” I am shit at responding and have let things drift with great people but none of those have been an attempt at letting someone down without saying anything. They’ve just been me being a bad/inconsistent communicator or in my own head. It doesn’t make it better if it feels like ghosting to the other person and I am sorry for this. If I am done talking to someone, friend or otherwise, I’m direct about it. Maybe too much so.

I don’t think it’s mean at all, I’d rather know that it’s just time to part ways than the silence. The silence is cruel and coward, being an overthinker you think the worst but then again not everyone has the same heart. I know it’s a virtual connection but there is still a human on the other side that you spend many hours a day chatting with getting to know them.

 

[Rach9703]

I’m thinking things I shouldn’t be.

 

[Girly_girl]

Hugs!

JJ!!! Girl, is it hot enough for you? When did Jersey become Florida?

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

When I’ve suggested this to folks I’m told that it’s mean and it’s better to just slowly stop responding until someone “gets the point.” I am shit at responding and have let things drift with great people but none of those have been an attempt at letting someone down without saying anything. They’ve just been me being a bad/inconsistent communicator or in my own head. It doesn’t make it better if it feels like ghosting to the other person and I am sorry for this. If I am done talking to someone, friend or otherwise, I’m direct about it. Maybe too much so.

As someone who inadvertently drifts in and out of friendship conversations from time to time without meaning to, I get this. Sometimes my bucket just gets too full across all the facets of my life. But I know it sucks, having been on both sides of it. Truth is, there's no good way to let go of a friendship/relationship if both parties aren't in agreement about it ending.

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

Don’t worry about it, maybe I should just start having their state of mind when it comes to making a connection. Perhaps it would hurt less.

It also wouldn't be your nature. At all. At least, I dont' think so.

 

[JerseyJade]

JJ!!! Girl, is it hot enough for you? When did Jersey become Florida?

I know, right? I love the hot weather, but this is definitely too much. We're planning on going to Asbury Park or Point Pleasant over the 4th of July weekend. Hopefully it won't be as hot there.

 

[Girly_girl]

It also wouldn't be your nature. At all. At least, I dont' think so.

You’re absolutely right about that.

 

[Girly_girl]

I know, right? I love the hot weather, but this is definitely too much. We're planning on going to Asbury Park or Point Pleasant over the 4th of July weekend. Hopefully it won't be as hot there.

I do too, I just can’t handle the high humidity. My bff went there today and she said it was beautiful and not too bad. I’ve never been to either of them but she loves it there.

 

[jason28053]

Don’t worry about it, maybe I should just start having their state of mind when it comes to making a connection. Perhaps it would hurt less.

It’s hard to put yourself out there and feel rejection. But, the high from having someone care out weighs the downside for me

 

[Noor]

I don’t think it’s mean at all, I’d rather know that it’s just time to part ways than the silence. The silence is cruel and coward, being an overthinker you think the worst but then again not everyone has the same heart. I know it’s a virtual connection but there is still a human on the other side that you spend many hours a day chatting with getting to know them.

I’m sorry that happened. I discovered that someone I had known since I started at Lit had/had been doing that and probably had been doing that all along. It wasn’t something that affected me until relatively recently.

Some here think it’s the same set of people, mainly men, who keep starting up friendships and online affairs and then disappear, take down their accounts and after a bit come back as a new alt.
I don’t trust anyone who says they would never ghost, they aren’t players and/or they are only interested in me.
I figure anyone who says they aren’t a player is one, they may not realize it, they may justify what they are doing in some other way, but if you are picking up people, serially telling them to they are important, you are friends and then disappearing, you are a player and using them for whatever

 

[Noor]

It’s hard to put yourself out there and feel rejection. But, the high from having someone care out weighs the downside for me

Except when you discover it was never real, just part of a game for them.

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

Except when you discover it was never real, just part of a game for them.

Frankly, I don't understand this. It's a level of sociopathy that is hard for me to follow. Have i had more casual things? Of course! Have I always tried to be up front that I was more interested in casual, flirtatious fun? Also yes.