LilKitKat's Second Cumming Thread 💦

[standard_dad]

How many elephants fit in a mini?
4, two in the front, two in the back.

How do you fit a giraffe in the fridge?
Open the door, put it in, close the door.

How do you fit and elephant in the fridge?
Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door!

How do you know an elephant has been in the fridge?
There's a footprint in the butter.

How do you know two elephants have been in the fridge?
There's two footprints in the butter.

How do you know three elephants have been in the fridge?
There's three footprints in the butter.

How do you know four elephants have been in the fridge?
There's a mini parked out the front.

How does an elephant hide in a strawberry patch?
Paints it's ears red.

Ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.
See, it works!

How does an elephant hide in an apple tree?
Paints it's balls red.

What's the loudest noise in a forest?
A giraffe eating an apple!

 

[Papi34]

My ex wife took off her top during an argument where I was winning. It was a boobie trap

 

[Apollo96]

Post a joke. Make me laugh. It can be sexy, it can be a "dad" joke, it can be not pc, IDGAF, but make it decent.

Here is my favorite (maybe) Italian joke.

An Italian workman wants a job on a construction site, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
"Here's your first question,"' the foreman says. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Withouta numbers?" the Italian says, "Datsa easy." and he proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?' the boss asks.
"Ave you gotta no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes a nine," says the Italian workman.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99!"
The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree..."Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Eacha of da trees is a dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Datsa a 99." says the workman.
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian guy, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. '"You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little doga come along and shita by eacha tree. So now you gotta dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data makea one hundred. So, whenna I start?!"

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?


Doyouthinkhesawus

Is bad but still makes me laugh :,)

 

[standard_dad]

What did the mumma llama say to the baby llama when she was was getting ready for a picnic?

Alpaca lunch!

 

[ho_hum_drum]

Post a joke. Make me laugh. It can be sexy, it can be a "dad" joke, it can be not pc, IDGAF, but make it decent.

Here is my favorite (maybe) Italian joke.

An Italian workman wants a job on a construction site, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
"Here's your first question,"' the foreman says. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Withouta numbers?" the Italian says, "Datsa easy." and he proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?' the boss asks.
"Ave you gotta no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes a nine," says the Italian workman.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99!"
The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree..."Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Eacha of da trees is a dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Datsa a 99." says the workman.
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian guy, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. '"You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little doga come along and shita by eacha tree. So now you gotta dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data makea one hundred. So, whenna I start?!"

What has four legs, green skin and would kill you if it fell out of a tree on top of you?
A pool table.

 

[ho_hum_drum]

Its Friday...take a LOAD off

https://i.postimg.cc/PfyY43DQ/fullfrontal.jpg

This picture makes perfect sense…

 

[nothingatall27]

It was George the mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced!
When he had enough, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup’s bottom edge.
“All of this was just too wonderful for words. ”
He said, “But what’s the dollar for”?
“Well, ” she said, “last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you, and he said, “Fuck him. Give him a dollar. ” “The breakfast was my idea!! ”

 

[nothingatall27]

no. But same panties I believe!
I'd say good eye, but also...pretty sure some people "study" my pics more than I ever have hahahaha!

It was the panties that made me think it was from that video. I did closely study that one. It was actually the only video you ever posted that I missed. I was quite excited when you reposted it and even more excited as I watched it, so I would say that one is etched on my brain better than any others. My brain does have quite a few etchings done by you though.

 

[Jw75766]

Good morning, Kit.
I hope your day is blessed with much joy and happiness. You smiling makes the world a more beautiful place.

 

[ScarletDaisy]

Post a joke. Make me laugh. It can be sexy, it can be a "dad" joke, it can be not pc, IDGAF, but make it decent.

What do you call a short psychic on the run from the police?

At small medium at large!

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

What do you call a short psychic on the run from the police?

At small medium at large!

The audible groan I just had to that

 

[LilKitKat]

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?


Doyouthinkhesawus

Is bad but still makes me laugh :,)

someone watched Jurassic Park the other day...

 

[Jaws82]

What’s the difference between a Rolling Stone and a Scotsman?

A Rolling Stone says “hey you get off of my cloud”

A Scotsman says “hey MacCloud get off my ewe”

 

[peekingone]

you could eat sushi off a naked Kit maybe...

I had sushi last night. Too bad I didn’t see this before. Dinner would have been that much better and with a hard on too

 

[roses_and_sake]

someone watched Jurassic Park the other day...

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes’ dog?

Doyourhinkhesawus Rex

Had to follow the idea…

 

[LilKitKat]

Thanks for telling some jokes to me! There were a few funny ones in there for sure!

I have one more for ya.

The teacher says to the class "Ok kids, time for vocabulary lessons. Today's word of the day is 'Definitely'. I want you to use 'definitely' in a sentence."
Little Johnny raises his hand enthusiastically and the teacher calls on him "Yes, Johnny?"
"The sky is definitely blue!" he says happily.
The teacher responds by saying "Well, very good effort Johnny, but at sunset the sky turns orange and pink and then dark blue and then black right? Try again if you have one..."
Johnny slumps down in his seat, dejected, but thinks hard.
No other kid has his/her hand raised and Johnny's hand shoots up again.
"Yes, Johnny, did you come up with another?"
Johnny says "Yes! The leaves on the tree are definitely green!"
The teacher smiles and then says "Well, again, a good try, but in the Fall they turn orange and red and then fall off and turn brown right? You will need to think harder Johnny."
Johnny frowns and shifts in his seat.
Other kids dont even try in fear of being told they got it wrong.
Suddenly Johnny shifts really wildly in his chair and leans over left and right and then raises his hand and waves to get the teacher's attention.
"Ok, last try Johnny." she says.
"Do farts have lumps?!" he asks.
The teacher makes a face and says "Umm, Johnny we dont use that language here but to answer your question. No, they don't."
Johnny replies "Then I definitely shit my pants".

 

[OldSoldier96]

What dinosaur doesn’t make noise when it pees?

Pterodactyl because the P is silent.

 

[LilKitKat]

Ok, combining three requests in one:

one follower keeps asking to see me "bounce"
another has been vocal about seeing videos of me
and another has said he wanted me to repost some older videos he hadnt ever seen/wants to see again...

so...enjoy...in whatever way you men like to enjoy videos of topless women. hahahaha!

https://vlix.io/video/d1b2d5036bd56e27d061/

 

[Jw75766]

Thanks for telling some jokes to me! There were a few funny ones in there for sure!

I have one more for ya.

The teacher says to the class "Ok kids, time for vocabulary lessons. Today's word of the day is 'Definitely'. I want you to use 'definitely' in a sentence."
Little Johnny raises his hand enthusiastically and the teacher calls on him "Yes, Johnny?"
"The sky is definitely blue!" he says happily.
The teacher responds by saying "Well, very good effort Johnny, but at sunset the sky turns orange and pink and then dark blue and then black right? Try again if you have one..."
Johnny slumps down in his seat, dejected, but thinks hard.
No other kid has his/her hand raised and Johnny's hand shoots up again.
"Yes, Johnny, did you come up with another?"
Johnny says "Yes! The leaves on the tree are definitely green!"
The teacher smiles and then says "Well, again, a good try, but in the Fall they turn orange and red and then fall off and turn brown right? You will need to think harder Johnny."
Johnny frowns and shifts in his seat.
Other kids dont even try in fear of being told they got it wrong.
Suddenly Johnny shifts really wildly in his chair and leans over left and right and then raises his hand and waves to get the teacher's attention.
"Ok, last try Johnny." she says.
"Do farts have lumps?!" he asks.
The teacher makes a face and says "Umm, Johnny we dont use that language here but to answer your question. No, they don't."
Johnny replies "Then I definitely shit my pants".

That was hilarious!

 

[LilKitKat]

That was hilarious!

I enjoy that one and you can tell it in mixed company and just change the last line to "poop" if you are telling a 10 yr old or something.

 

[ycym]

Ok, combining three requests in one:

one follower keeps asking to see me "bounce"
another has been vocal about seeing videos of me
and another has said he wanted me to repost some older videos he hadnt ever seen/wants to see again...

so...enjoy...in whatever way you men like to enjoy videos of topless women. hahahaha!

https://vlix.io/video/d1b2d5036bd56e27d061/

That's a hand held I like!

 

[OldSoldier96]

Ok, combining three requests in one:

one follower keeps asking to see me "bounce"
another has been vocal about seeing videos of me
and another has said he wanted me to repost some older videos he hadnt ever seen/wants to see again...

so...enjoy...in whatever way you men like to enjoy videos of topless women. hahahaha!

https://vlix.io/video/d1b2d5036bd56e27d061/

Gorgeous. So lovely and firm. Beautiful nipples as well btw.

 

[Cybmorg]

Ok, combining three requests in one:

one follower keeps asking to see me "bounce"
another has been vocal about seeing videos of me
and another has said he wanted me to repost some older videos he hadnt ever seen/wants to see again...

so...enjoy...in whatever way you men like to enjoy videos of topless women. hahahaha!

https://vlix.io/video/d1b2d5036bd56e27d061/

Very happy to see this one return! One of my favourites for sure

 

[Azuldrgon]

Ok, combining three requests in one:

one follower keeps asking to see me "bounce"
another has been vocal about seeing videos of me
and another has said he wanted me to repost some older videos he hadnt ever seen/wants to see again...

so...enjoy...in whatever way you men like to enjoy videos of topless women. hahahaha!

https://vlix.io/video/d1b2d5036bd56e27d061/

This brought a smile to my face, but to be honest you always do.
As always, thank you.
And thank you to the followers for their requests.

 

[LilKitKat]

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