Question on Asian names

[Zeronix]

Doing some digging for visual inspiration for characters, I found Chinese model Dong Lei who is extraordinarily tall. The name apparently means 'winter' and is more associated with males.

Now we all know that 'dong' has a different slang meaning in English I was thinking of playing on that.

How common is Dong for a first name for Asian females?

Would using it in a joking way compared to the slang term be insensitive?

'Poor Dong had no idea what her parents set her up for in America.'

FWIW, I’m Asian and I would find this hilarious (as long as it wasn’t overly obnoxious)

 

[Voboy]

Again, if I go there at all, it will be a group of girls who notice that she's being picked on. They welcome her into their little group of enticing vixens and help her get the upper hand.

Though it may be mentioned in passing, my characters won't do it. They'll be seeking to help her get power over those that did by making them drool and wish they'd treated her better.

I will say this: when I was in elementary school, we had a Vietnamese kid named Dong in our class. He was a nice dude and made a lot of friends, but we all teased him mercilessly about his name. We didn't know any better, but I think if you DO include a "Dong" in an American context, it would be highly unlikely that they would not have been picked on unfortunately.

Just a thought. If I'm your reader and you put in a character named Dong, I'd be a little surprised not to see something like that mentioned. If it wasn't, I might wonder why you'd picked that name at all. It wouldn't be nearly enough to get me to nope out of a good story, but it is something I’d notice.

 

[FrancesScott]

I find it deeply uncomfortable, even disturbing, how quickly this thread is sliding into virtuous preening and grandstanding about "cultural insensitivity" and similar concepts from the dodgy neighborhood of self-censorship through peer pressure.

I’ll write what I want to write, as you suggest. That includes trying to write authentic characters and abandoning the attempt if I feel I can’t do that. I’m happier writing an American Chinese character than a Chinese Chinese one. That’s my own choice based on the respect I have for other humans. Are you saying that I’m not allowed to make that choice? Sometimes people want to be considerate to other people without peer-pressure.

FWIW I abhor jerk-circles with their own narrow purity tests. But don’t confuse trying to be a decent person with virtue signalling. Those are often different things.

 

[Voboy]

I find it deeply uncomfortable, even disturbing, how quickly this thread is sliding into virtuous preening and grandstanding about "cultural insensitivity" and similar concepts from the dodgy neighborhood of self-censorship through peer pressure.

Ignore all that noise, OP. Write characters that you want to write, whether or not the 'sensitivity readers' would consider them objectionable. Heck, write blatant racists if you wish to do so; there are few things more compelling in a story than believable villains.

lol. OP is asking for feedback. I gave some that was based on an actual story I actually wrote, with actual readers telling me their actual opinions.

It’s not me “virtuously preening.” It’s me answering a fucking question using something other than my opinion. Not everything needs to become a commentary on how you think the world works. Sometimes, an OP merely wants to know something.

 

[FrancesScott]

lol. OP is asking for feedback. I gave some that was based on an actual story I actually wrote, with actual readers telling me their actual opinions.

It’s not me “virtuously preening.” It’s me answering a fucking question using something other than my opinion. Not everything needs to become a commentary on how you think the world works. Sometimes, an OP merely wants to know something.

It’s rather amusing that people who say ‘don’t cave to peer-pressure’ then tell others what to do and how to behave. It suggests a certain lack of self-awareness at the very least.

 

[TheLobster]

It’s rather amusing that people who say ‘don’t cave to peer-pressure’ then tell others what to do and how to behave. It suggests a certain lack of self-awareness at the very least.

This kind of "no u" arguments only serve to highlight the projection done by those who are making them.

 

[FrancesScott]

This kind of "no u" arguments only serve to highlight the projection done by those who are making them.

Maybe don’t wade in throwing aspersions on people’s motivations based on zero knowledge of them next time. It’s rather sad that trying to be nice to other people is so triggering to others. Not sure how we got here TBH. It’s a bad place to be.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

It can be a last name, and can also be a given name. Lei is also a common family name that can also be used as a given name (and there are many different characters and meanings for Lei as well). Donglei itself can be a given name btw (Li Donglei).

FWIW, I’m Asian and I would find this hilarious (as long as it wasn’t overly obnoxious)

So, not sure I want to use the famous model ... maybe. But if I were to create a character and Dong were to be the given/first name, what would be an appropriate family/last name?

 

[Writer61]

I find it deeply uncomfortable, even disturbing, how quickly this thread is sliding into virtuous preening and grandstanding about "cultural insensitivity" and similar concepts from the dodgy neighborhood of self-censorship through peer pressure.

As far as I can see people have just been answering a question from the OP. That is not 'preening and grandstanding', it's honesty.

 

[Writer61]

So, not sure I want to use the famous model ... maybe. But if I were to create a character and Dong were to be the given/first name, what would be an appropriate family/last name?

Yes, it is a suitable family name.

 

[TheLobster]

It’s rather sad that trying to be nice to other people is so triggering to others.

Yeah, no. It wasn't about "trying to be nice." There were multiple replies that pretty clearly tried to steer the OP away from the idea of including a 'culturally insensitive' character who'd make fun of Asian names on the account that it may reflect poorly on the moral standing of the author.

That's what I call trying to compel self-censorship through peer pressure. You may call that being nice; you wouldn't be the first one to do so.

 

[Zeronix]

So, not sure I want to use the famous model ... maybe. But if I were to create a character and Dong were to be the given/first name, what would be an appropriate family/last name?

Any last name works. You can probably find a list of common last names and pick one. Li, Huang, Chen are three off the top of my head.

I have a friend whose full name is Mu Dong Mei. Here [Mu] is the family name, [Dong] is the generational name meaning ‘winter’ and [Mei] is the given name meaning ‘beautiful’ (a very common given name for girls.) When I refer to her, I call her Dong Mei.

She has a sister named Dong Li. [Li] also means beautiful.

IMO it’d be pretty weird (but not totally implausible I guess?) for a girl to be named just “Dong”.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

There's a big difference between knowing you're dealing with a sensitive subject and writing about it anyway, choosing to deal with whatever reaction you get, versus not having a clue and sticking your size tens in a minefield. People trying to research before writing can only be a good thing.

For reference, I have a minor character who goes by his surname, Wang, on the grounds that it's less embarrassing than his other names. Other characters have wondered what could be worse than Wang, but I figure it works best for the story if no-one else ever finds out.

I agree you can't have a character called Dong in a story on Lit without it being commented on. I remember being taken to meet a colleague once when I was new, and being warned, yes, his name is Dong. He doesn't find it funny. Do your laughing now. Ready? And once I'd met him, it was just his name.

 

[Voboy]

So, not sure I want to use the famous model ... maybe. But if I were to create a character and Dong were to be the given/first name, what would be an appropriate family/last name?

You could always go whole hog and call him Long Dong. Or Dong Wang, or Dong Ke, or whatever you wish. Depends on what your objectives are.

The kid I knew was Dong Bui, but again, he was Vietnamese.

 

[Baztrachian]

You probably shouldn't be trying to poke fun at a person's name just because it means something funny in English. It's pretty rude.

But it can also be entertaining.

Over my years I got to work with two guys at a tech firm. One was named Phuc Hue and how did he pronounce it?

Just like 'Fuck You'. Which made it interesting to have to talk to him on the phone when other people were listening.

There was also Mr. Chitti from Bangalore. Yup, that's how he said his name.

Playing on these quirks of culture might offend certain woke sensibilities but the funny thing is that these folks themselves are quite often not bothered by these things at all.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

^^ Never use the 'w' word. Might the most offensive of all and ruins one's credibility. People that use it are why the rest of us have to question how to say things.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I have a friend whose full name is Mu Dong Mei. Here [Mu] is the family name, [Dong] is the generational name meaning ‘winter’ and [Mei] is the given name meaning ‘beautiful’ (a very common given name for girls.) When I refer to her, I call her Dong Mei.

She has a sister named Dong Li. [Li] also means beautiful.

I can see 'Murican rednecks having a blast with Dong Me baby! Or something about Mei (my) Dong.

Li might work though. Close to the model, but not the same. How would she react to a westerner calling her Li?

 

[crookedletter]

Yeah, no. It wasn't about "trying to be nice." There were multiple replies that pretty clearly tried to steer the OP away from the idea of including a 'culturally insensitive' character who'd make fun of Asian names on the account that it may reflect poorly on the moral standing of the author.

That's what I call trying to compel self-censorship through peer pressure. You may call that being nice; you wouldn't be the first one to do so.

That's a pretty loose definition of "peer pressure." The OP asked. People answered. If it's peer pressure to provide a point of view when prompted, then that label applies to just about any discussion.

 

[Kasumi_Lee]

Isn’t Dong her family name? Maybe have it wrong, but I thought Chinese names went: [Family] [Given]. So Lei would be her given name.

You got it right, but in that case, the character for Dong as a family name is totally different. 董 = family name; 冬 = winter; both pronounced "dong".

 

[Kasumi_Lee]

Dong is a family name and decently common.

董 is a family name, but the word for winter is 冬. Identical pronunciation "dong", but different tones.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

So, not sure I want to use the famous model ... maybe. But if I were to create a character and Dong were to be the given/first name, what would be an appropriate family/last name?

Dong in itself is actually an uncommon Chinese given name for females AFAIK.

What about Dongmei 冬梅 which translates to Winter Plum? would also open her up to ALOT of bullying.

For family name take your pick lol
Just Google most popular Chinese family name and pick the one that would amplify the bullying.

 

[Writer61]

董 is a family name, but the word for winter is 冬. Identical pronunciation "dong", but different tones.

I would argue that the different tones mean that the pronounciation is different.

For the unitiated, the tones are one of the things that make the various dialects of Chinese difficult for non-natives to master. I was told that I was very good at sounding them correctly, but I could never hear them.

 

[Actingup]

Doing some digging for visual inspiration for characters, I found Chinese model Dong Lei who is extraordinarily tall. The name apparently means 'winter' and is more associated with males.

Now we all know that 'dong' has a different slang meaning in English I was thinking of playing on that.

How common is Dong for a first name for Asian females?

Would using it in a joking way compared to the slang term be insensitive?

'Poor Dong had no idea what her parents set her up for in America.'

Just want to thank you for asking the question. I’ve learnt a lot about Chinese names from the responses, and I think the discussion about insensitivity and the migrant experience is interesting. There are hundreds of thousands of Literotica stories that don’t touch on any cultural themes - discussion like this is a good way to expand our range.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

^^ I'm reading, but I'm a slow learner. I'm gearing this up for a Summer Lovin' thing about a bunch of bikini girls needing to find a way to raise money for their club. But I don't want all dumb blondes. I try to use educated characters with qualities that don't show when their boobs do. The bodies are a distraction to keep people off guard from their brains and intellect.

With this one and Anok Yai, I'm getting some base work laid out. Hispanics are quite common, the best example I cam think of off hand is Roselyn Sanchez. Looking for an Arabic example too.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I was worried when you said 'Asian' in the subject line - 60% of the world's population live in Asia.

The western world I'm familiar with considers Asia to be China, Japan, Korea, Thailand, VietNam , et al.

Though India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Malaysia, Philippines and others are technically Asia, they are thought to be South Asia, separated in geography and culture.