Looking for a writer for a custom erotic story (free request)

[Bamagan]

The thread broke its humerus and is getting a little choleric.

Sorry, did you say the thread is getting a colonic? Well, it was starting to seem a little dirty.

 

[MrPixel]

I keep reading the thread title and thinking, "Well, requests are certainly free..."

 

[MelissaBaby]

Have we reached the end of the anal humor booty? Is there no one left who will say, "Butt wait, there's more!"

Oh, sit on it.

 

[StillStunned]

I'm sure we can think of more crappy jokes if we probe deep enough.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I'm sure we can think of more crappy jokes if we probe deep enough.

Perhaps a cleanse is in order...

 

[MelissaBaby]

I'm sure we can think of more crappy jokes if we probe deep enough.

That would be a stretch.

 

[stickygirl]

I'm tired of the anal thing being shoved down my throat

 

[Voboy]

That would be a stretch.

I like this one. It's got a nice ring to it.

 

[StillStunned]

It never ceases to fill me with pride how the AH can turn a one-word joke into an entire thread of themed puns.

If GenAI ever takes over from us as writers, we'll always have this.

 

[stickygirl]

Looks like the thread has come to a sticky end

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Looks like the thread has come to a sticky end

No talking with your mouth full.

 

[stickygirl]

No talking with your mouth full.

Who let the scat out of the bag?

 

[FrancesScott]

I am reaching out because I'm looking for a writer who would be interested in crafting a custom erotic story based on a few character names and ideas that I will provide.

To attempt to answer your question and also explain some of the reaction…

You have misread the room to a degree that makes me almost think it’s intentional trolling. But I will give you the benefit of the doubt.

I’ve been writing a few years and I think you are misunderstanding a few things. First about writers:

1. Most writers have a work in progress folder full of things they want the time to finish
2. They probably have a list of ideas jotted down somewhere too
3. They are probably in the middle of writing one or more stories which they find compelling and can’t devote enough time to
4. Many of us are also helping other writers by beta reading or editing or proof reading their stuff
5. We are busy

Why would anyone drop all that and jump on your suggestion? Which gets me to the second set of misconceptions, which are about your ideas. I’ll be blunt:

1. It’s highly doubtful that your plot ideas and characters are very good - it takes lots of experience to come up with good plots and convincing characters
2. But maybe I’m wrong and you have a one in a million idea, but it’s just an idea
3. Turning your ideas into even a short story takes time and effort, why would anyone do that?
4. If your ideas aren’t compelling enough to you for you to put in the time to write them, why would anyone else?

 

[StillStunned]

To attempt to answer your question and also explain some of the reaction…

Thank you for doing what none of us longtimers have bothered to do.

Instead we reverted to toilet humour. I'd feel a flush of embarrassemt if I wasn't so pooped.

(But seriously, well done. We should have been kinder to the OP. @Spitfires I for one apologise for not addressing your request more seriously before driving it off the rails.)

 

[stickygirl]

To attempt to answer your question and also explain some of the reaction…

You have misread the room to a degree that makes me almost think it’s intentional trolling. But I will give you the benefit of the doubt.

I’ve been writing a few years (not here), and I think you are misunderstanding a few things. First about writers:

1. Most writers have a work in progress folder full of things they want the time to finish
2. They probably have a list of ideas jotted down somewhere too
3. They are probably in the middle of writing one or more story which they find compelling and can’t devote enough time to
4. Many of us are also helping other writers by beta reading or editing or proof reading their stuff
5. We are busy

Why would anyone drop all that and jump on your suggestion? Which gets me to the second set of misconceptions, which are about your ideas. I’ll be blunt:

1. It’s highly doubtful that your plot ideas and characters are very good - it takes lots of experience to come up with good plots and convincing characters
2. But maybe I’m wrong and you have a one in a million idea, but it’s just an idea
3. Turning your ideas into even a short story takes time and effort, why would anyone do that?
4. If your ideas aren’t compelling enough to you for you to put in the time to write them, why would anyone else?

I'd only add to this... Why did everyone start talking about anal?

 

[StillStunned]

I'd only add to this... Why did everyone start talking about anal?

Mea culpa:

Bummer.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I'd only add to this... Why did everyone start talking about anal?

Are you really trying to make sense of the direction an AH thread went?

 

[Actingup]

Are you really trying to make sense of the direction an AH thread went?

This is an AH ‘around the world’ special, for free. Look for it soon on a podcast near you.

 

[MrPixel]

We should have been kinder to the OP.

No. Temerity. He/she/it got what they deserved. I am a musician who has played both in professional and volunteer/amateur capacities. I know what it's like with "Oh, I understand you play [the X]. We could sure use you on [X] or even on one of those other instruments you play." Expected for free, when other musicians (a/k/a "ringers") are being paid to fill holes with the same group.

It's galling, and, frankly, an insult, and especially an insult when I step up to help the group with rehearsals, and the ringers manage to only show up for the performance(s).

So, no. Because we are hobbyists in this writing thing does not mean we are giving away our efforts for no compensation to produce somebody else's project.

[grumble]

 

[Voboy]

No. Temerity. He/she/it got what they deserved. I am a musician who has played both in professional and volunteer/amateur capacities. I know what it's like with "Oh, I understand you play [the X]. We could sure use you on [X] or even on one of those other instruments you play." Expected for free, when other musicians (a/k/a "ringers") are being paid to fill holes with the same group.

It's galling, and, frankly, an insult, and especially an insult when I step up to help the group with rehearsals, and the ringers manage to only show up for the performance(s).

So, no. Because we are hobbyists in this writing thing does not mean we are giving away our efforts for no compensation to produce somebody else's project.

[grumble]

This.

OP is being very presumptuous. Fuck being kind.

 

[PennyThompson]

1. It’s highly doubtful that your plot ideas and characters are very good - it takes lots of experience to come up with good plots and convincing characters
2. But maybe I’m wrong and you have a one in a million idea, but it’s just an idea
3. Turning your ideas into even a short story takes time and effort, why would anyone do that?

There IS an Story Ideas forum here though, OP! If you've got a story or scene idea that you think has merit, that's a good place to start.

You might get some valuable feedback, or the encouragement you need to write it yourself. And occasionally, if the idea is genuinely interesting, it CAN inspire a writer to create a story!

I've written a couple that were partly inspired by things I read in Story Ideas

 

[StillStunned]

I think that's a bit harsh. You know it's a faux pas, I know it's a faux pas, but that doesn't mean that everyone knows the mores. If you're a complete outsider, with no idea of what writing involves, it's probably very easy to get the wrong impression.

We're forever bragging about how much we love writing - presumably the OP didn't stop to think about the connection between conceiving of an idea and moulding it into a story, or how it's not just the writing we enjoy but the entire creation process.

 

[crookedletter]

“If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.”
― Toni Morrison

 

[Voboy]

I think that's a bit harsh. You know it's a faux pas, I know it's a faux pas, but that doesn't mean that everyone knows the mores. If you're a complete outsider, with no idea of what writing involves, it's probably very easy to get the wrong impression.

We're forever bragging about how much we love writing - presumably the OP didn't stop to think about the connection between conceiving of an idea and moulding it into a story, or how it's not just the writing we enjoy but the entire creation process.

I don't think it's difficult to gain an understanding of this particular forum's culture. I don't think the OP made even the slightest attempt to do so. I, too, am a jaded veteran of the "hey, does your band want to come play at my event? Wait, you want money for that? Why would you expect to be paid for it?" mindset; it devalues the skills, ability, and creativity of the people who choose to write here.

No thank you. @PennyThompson is right: if you want someone to write you a free story based on your ideas, then post them in Story Ideas and cross your fingers. Don't come in here and pretend you're doing us any favors.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Thank you for doing what none of us longtimers have bothered to do.

Instead we reverted to toilet humour. I'd feel a flush of embarrassemt if I wasn't so pooped.

(But seriously, well done. We should have been kinder to the OP. @Spitfires I for one apologise for not addressing your request more seriously before driving it off the rails.)

Do I owe the same courtesy to a guy who rolls down his car window and propositions me?