Leahaven

[liqueur]

I'm slowly working my way through this entire thread as time and other commitments allow. There's so much I find myself wanting to say, but I've determined that I won't make any comments specific to what you're doing until I've read it all. But for now, I just want to say again how impressed I am by the quality and consistency of your introspection, and likewise how clearly and thoughtfully you express it to us. There is a maturity in this that goes beyond your years. And what I know of your journey, so far, delights me.

 

[LeaHaven]

My response to a DM:

I would not lock him up for more than a few days at the most. I feel like, after so long, both of us would lose interest. But for the few days he is locked up, I tease him as often as possible, and I am not nice about it. I like to cause him the frustration and embarrassment of long-endured erections painfully confined in steel. I like to make him suffer like that while his obedient mouth tends to my pleasure. It's a huge power trip, and it makes me insanely aroused.

My new problem is that sometimes he will cum in his cage. But that is not necessarily a problem, because I've told him if it happens again, there will be serious consequences. Now that I have learned about "impact play," that sounds like the kind of consequences I could really get into. So I'll make sure it happens again.

 

[LeaHaven]

In a DM a week or so ago someone said something like, "In a year's time, I think Travis will realize he made a big mistake moving back home." To whoever sent me that DM, it didn't take a year. It took less than 2 weeks.

Last night around 12:40 AM, Travis sent me a text. I didn't see it until this morning, but the text said, "I think I fucked up." I just got off the phone with him. His "fuck up," he explained, is that he moved back home. We talked for a while, but I did not offer for him to come back. I am not sure I want that. I am enjoying my time with Robbie, and I didn't realize how much I missed him. I will update more later.

 

[9to5]

its funny how he now wants to come back. work with robbie first and maybe when he is on his knees and knows your rules. then decide

 

[Artfan2]

In a DM a week or so ago someone said something like, "In a year's time, I think Travis will realize he made a big mistake moving back home." To whoever sent me that DM, it didn't take a year. It took less than 2 weeks.

Last night around 12:40 AM, Travis sent me a text. I didn't see it until this morning, but the text said, "I think I fucked up." I just got off the phone with him. His "fuck up," he explained, is that he moved back home. We talked for a while, but I did not offer for him to come back. I am not sure I want that. I am enjoying my time with Robbie, and I didn't realize how much I missed him. I will update more later.

I can see where living with Travis would be too much, but hopefully you will find a way to spend some quality time with him in the future.

 

[LeaHaven]

I have to vent.

When I talked to Travis on the phone on Friday, and I told him that I didn't want him to move back in with Robbie and me, he was like, "Why not?" He was being defensive with me and acting like we owed it to him. I got a little heated, and I told him "because I am not running a fucking hotel, and I don't want you moving in and out on a whim, Travis!" He got quiet (belligerent is a better word), and I tried to explain to him that now that he is adulting, or at least he is supposed to be, he has to learn that he is responsible for himself. "It's all on you, Travis," I said. "If you make a bad decision, that's your problem." We talked for too long, and I had to end it, because, as I told Travis, "I actually have a job."

Two things. I don't think I want Travis living with us again, and the bigger issue is, I want him to feel some pain from his decision or he is never going to learn. He has to understand that once you fly the nest, it's all up to you. But he really needs to learn that eventually, you have to actually fly the nest!

And then on Saturday my mom called. Travis' mom found out that I said, "No," she called my mom, and my mom called me. "I understand you told Travis he can't move back. Why is that? He'll never find a job here, you know that." I thought I might explode. OMFG! MY own mom is on Travis' side? I told her, "He had a job!"

I mean, seriously. WTF? My mom and dad, who are always like "everyone has to be responsible for themselves," now want me to bail out Travis?

At this point, there is no way Travis is moving back in with us. He can become a homeless person for all I care. And my mom and I are going to have a talk. It doesn't matter what I do or how much I accomplish, one way or another, I am never good enough. I could become the fucking CEO of Google, and it wouldn't be enough for them. I have had it with that shit, and they are going to hear it.

What a great weekend it has been.

 

[Purple_Fronds]

Fabulous vent, probably doesn’t seem like it, but the good part is it puts a nice underline to your decision. After all, it’s one thing to be rash, dumb and want to have a take back, it’s completely different to call your mummy and complain that his former baby sitter is being a big meanie and won’t baby him any more. Poor little Travis.

One more thing, irrespective of being a CEO etc, how you’re conducting your life is very impressive. My guess is that your mom recognizes this and is not only proud of you but also maybe a little jealous.

 

[liqueur]

I have to vent.... What a great weekend it has been.

Hugs!

 

[whenagain]

Oh man. I’m sorry it’s been so rough.

 

[LeaHaven]

Robbie said he thinks I am being too hard on Travis, but I shut that argument down quickly. I reminded him that he wasn't there to hear Travis on the phone with me. The really disappointing part about all this is that I was just about to invite Travis to come spend a weekend with us. There are some things about Travis that I really (really) miss.

I will be away until Saturday. I fly out later today to attend some training in New Orleans. I will try to check in here while I am away, but I am not sure how busy I will be.

I will catch up on DM's as soon as I can. Please bear with me.

If I don't get in here until Saturday, I hope you all have a nice week!

 

[9to5]

I hope your week goes well and look forward to your return

 

[NancyPan]

Robbie said he thinks I am being too hard on Travis, but I shut that argument down quickly. I reminded him that he wasn't there to hear Travis on the phone with me. The really disappointing part about all this is that I was just about to invite Travis to come spend a weekend with us. There are some things about Travis that I really (really) miss.

I will be away until Saturday. I fly out later today to attend some training in New Orleans. I will try to check in here while I am away, but I am not sure how busy I will be.

I will catch up on DM's as soon as I can. Please bear with me.

If I don't get in here until Saturday, I hope you all have a nice week!

I read your posts from the perspective of a submissive male (whole had a very successful professional career, btw). Your “rant” sounds like you are parenting Travis rather than he is a MAN who you allow the incredible privilege of fucking you. I understand that you might miss his cock, and he was a fun plaything for you, and it was humiliating for Robbie that you enjoyed, and favored, Travis’s cock. Yet, as a Superior Woman, as a Domme, IMHO, it would not be your role to take care of Travis, or any male, or mother them, it is males who should be taking care of You (and not in a paternal way, for sure, but treating you as a Queen, as a Superior).

As far as your parents, I think we all eventually learn to take our parents with grains of salt. They, of course, do not have the full picture, nor should they. Let that go. And Robbie suggesting you are too hard on another male, especially one who cuckolded and humiliated him? Fascinating, but of course You have the pussy, you make the rules!

 

[LeaHaven]

I have to be downstairs in 5 minutes. Wrote this last night, and I wanted to get it posted. I'll be back as soon as I can....

It is a little after 11 PM, Wednesday night, and I am back in my hotel room. Training was boring, and the training room was FREEZING! Why are the training rooms at seminars like this always so cold?

But anyway, you people will probably love this.

I've got a guy after me.

At breakfast this morning there was this guy paying more attention to me than he should. I couldn't decide if he was admiring me, or if he was just creepy, but I finished before him and walked to the training room. I sat down at a table next to another woman, and she and I began polite conversation. Next thing you know, the same guy sits down on the other side of me and says, "You were on the same flight with me."

I'm thinking, "Ok, this guy is weird."

He talked with me right up until my training session started, and then he went across the hall to a different seminar. He was very easy to talk to, and he put me at ease from my initial reaction, but it was still kind of awkward having a guy I don't even know come sit down next to me in a training session he's not even attending. People were watching.

At lunch break he waited in the hallway until our session broke for lunch, and he asked "us" (I came out of the room with others) if we wanted to do lunch. We said, "sure," and we ate lunch at a restaurant about a block away. (It was hot outside, but I was glad. I needed to warm up!)

Anyway, I won't bore you with the details, but I guess we've kind of hit it off. He and I and some others ate dinner together, and then he and I had drinks in the hotel bar....overlooking the Mississippi river. So romantic.


Sounds kind of racy, doesn't it?
Lol! I'm kidding about the "romantic." There was nothing like that, but it was nice to have some company. He's funny and interesting, but he's done a lot of dangerous stuff! Makes me wonder if he's a little nuts.

I gotta go to sleep. Morning will be early. I'll try to post this during lunch tomorrow. I hope all of you are doing well!

PS: He and I did breakfast and lunch together today.

 

[liqueur]

Have fun, and be careful! Wherever that balance point lies.

 

[policywank]

Robbie said he thinks I am being too hard on Travis, but I shut that argument down quickly. I reminded him that he wasn't there to hear Travis on the phone with me. The really disappointing part about all this is that I was just about to invite Travis to come spend a weekend with us. There are some things about Travis that I really (really) miss.

I will be away until Saturday. I fly out later today to attend some training in New Orleans. I will try to check in here while I am away, but I am not sure how busy I will be.

I will catch up on DM's as soon as I can. Please bear with me.

If I don't get in here until Saturday, I hope you all have a nice week!

I think that the reality of dating - especially as a married woman - is that it is a bit of a numbers game. You have to quickly ascertain whether a guy can fit into what you want and need and move on quickly if he doesn't as opposed to trying to change him to be what you want. However, sometimes there is room to explore a bit more to see if maybe what you want is in him once he better understands his place.

Certainly with Derek I would have had the same response as you did. Slagging his wife to another woman in whom he is interested is deeply unattractive. It is so obviously inappropriate and it speaks to who he is as a character. That would be a hard no from me.

However, without knowing what Travis said to you I could see the possibility of him being a bit different. It was already clear that he was immature so that is no big surprise. If he was giving you attitude or being whiny that is unacceptable. I have certainly had guys like that who try to manipulate the situation or distort it to get things their way. Again totally unacceptable. But the question for me becomes is this a guy who will always come back to this kind of behaviour or is he a guy who just needs to be set straight? Often young men are impetuous and struggle to accept not getting what they want. That together with the way they have been conditioned to think and act towards women leads them to behave like a dumb-ass. But sometimes they can be reformed. For me I seek to distinguish between the two by finding a way to lay down the law and demanding immediate attitude and behaviour adjustments.

For instance, if he is being whiny or argumentative I will hit that head on. I tell him that his behaviour is unacceptable and I will not waste any time trying to convince him of that. Either he accepts that completely in the hopes of being given a second chance or it is over. I don't mean this in the sense that I have to always be correct about everything. I mean it in relation to his behaviour and attitude. One can disagree on many things and still have productive conversations. But the reality of having access to me or my household is that I set the terms. Whether that is behaviour, attitude, dates/times or activities in which we engage. Those things aren't a matter of who is right or wrong about a given topic. They are a matter of how I expect to be treated, which is entirely up to me just like how he wishes to be treated is up to him. Often the lesson that a young man needs to learn is that access to my bedroom means behaving in the manner that I dictate. He will never be in a position to "argue" what it is that I want so his place is to listen, accept and adjust or leave.

It sounds like maybe Travis's response was more maddening than I imagine so he will not be given a second chance. But if you should decide to give him a second chance (after an attitude adjustment) a great way to reinforce his place is to talk openly with him and Robbie about the man you met at the offsite training session and how much you enjoyed his company. I would couple that with giving him instruction to do certain things that you know he is naturally inclined to resist effectively compelling him to choose between being with you or indulging his own selfish behaviour (daring him to disobey and lose access).

I know that all sounds like a lot of work. It isn't always worth it of course. But reality is that men will always require somme degree of management and that is more so the case for a hotwife.

 

[LeaHaven]

I think that the reality of dating - especially as a married woman - is that it is a bit of a numbers game. You have to quickly ascertain whether a guy can fit into what you want and need and move on quickly if he doesn't as opposed to trying to change him to be what you want. However, sometimes there is room to explore a bit more to see if maybe what you want is in him once he better understands his place.

Certainly with Derek I would have had the same response as you did. Slagging his wife to another woman in whom he is interested is deeply unattractive. It is so obviously inappropriate and it speaks to who he is as a character. That would be a hard no from me.

However, without knowing what Travis said to you I could see the possibility of him being a bit different. It was already clear that he was immature so that is no big surprise. If he was giving you attitude or being whiny that is unacceptable. I have certainly had guys like that who try to manipulate the situation or distort it to get things their way. Again totally unacceptable. But the question for me becomes is this a guy who will always come back to this kind of behaviour or is he a guy who just needs to be set straight? Often young men are impetuous and struggle to accept not getting what they want. That together with the way they have been conditioned to think and act towards women leads them to behave like a dumb-ass. But sometimes they can be reformed. For me I seek to distinguish between the two by finding a way to lay down the law and demanding immediate attitude and behaviour adjustments.

For instance, if he is being whiny or argumentative I will hit that head on. I tell him that his behaviour is unacceptable and I will not waste any time trying to convince him of that. Either he accepts that completely in the hopes of being given a second chance or it is over. I don't mean this in the sense that I have to always be correct about everything. I mean it in relation to his behaviour and attitude. One can disagree on many things and still have productive conversations. But the reality of having access to me or my household is that I set the terms. Whether that is behaviour, attitude, dates/times or activities in which we engage. Those things aren't a matter of who is right or wrong about a given topic. They are a matter of how I expect to be treated, which is entirely up to me just like how he wishes to be treated is up to him. Often the lesson that a young man needs to learn is that access to my bedroom means behaving in the manner that I dictate. He will never be in a position to "argue" what it is that I want so his place is to listen, accept and adjust or leave.

It sounds like maybe Travis's response was more maddening than I imagine so he will not be given a second chance. But if you should decide to give him a second chance (after an attitude adjustment) a great way to reinforce his place is to talk openly with him and Robbie about the man you met at the offsite training session and how much you enjoyed his company. I would couple that with giving him instruction to do certain things that you know he is naturally inclined to resist effectively compelling him to choose between being with you or indulging his own selfish behaviour (daring him to disobey and lose access).

I know that all sounds like a lot of work. It isn't always worth it of course. But reality is that men will always require somme degree of management and that is more so the case for a hotwife.

Gosh, Policywank, you are right on the money on so many things, and I want to comment further, but I can't right now. I just came in here to tell everyone that I am still alive! I will be back as soon as I can. I have been drafting a post, but it is getting really long. There is so much to tell you, but I need more hours in a day! I will be back as soon as I can!

Have a nice day everyone!

 

[Toro1886]

Have to say @policywank does seem to have her head screwed on... knows what she wants and how to get it!

 

[LeaHaven]

I think that the reality of dating - especially as a married woman - is that it is a bit of a numbers game. You have to quickly ascertain whether a guy can fit into what you want and need and move on quickly if he doesn't as opposed to trying to change him to be what you want. However, sometimes there is room to explore a bit more to see if maybe what you want is in him once he better understands his place.

Certainly with Derek I would have had the same response as you did. Slagging his wife to another woman in whom he is interested is deeply unattractive. It is so obviously inappropriate and it speaks to who he is as a character. That would be a hard no from me.

However, without knowing what Travis said to you I could see the possibility of him being a bit different. It was already clear that he was immature so that is no big surprise. If he was giving you attitude or being whiny that is unacceptable. I have certainly had guys like that who try to manipulate the situation or distort it to get things their way. Again totally unacceptable. But the question for me becomes is this a guy who will always come back to this kind of behaviour or is he a guy who just needs to be set straight? Often young men are impetuous and struggle to accept not getting what they want. That together with the way they have been conditioned to think and act towards women leads them to behave like a dumb-ass. But sometimes they can be reformed. For me I seek to distinguish between the two by finding a way to lay down the law and demanding immediate attitude and behaviour adjustments.

For instance, if he is being whiny or argumentative I will hit that head on. I tell him that his behaviour is unacceptable and I will not waste any time trying to convince him of that. Either he accepts that completely in the hopes of being given a second chance or it is over. I don't mean this in the sense that I have to always be correct about everything. I mean it in relation to his behaviour and attitude. One can disagree on many things and still have productive conversations. But the reality of having access to me or my household is that I set the terms. Whether that is behaviour, attitude, dates/times or activities in which we engage. Those things aren't a matter of who is right or wrong about a given topic. They are a matter of how I expect to be treated, which is entirely up to me just like how he wishes to be treated is up to him. Often the lesson that a young man needs to learn is that access to my bedroom means behaving in the manner that I dictate. He will never be in a position to "argue" what it is that I want so his place is to listen, accept and adjust or leave.

It sounds like maybe Travis's response was more maddening than I imagine so he will not be given a second chance. But if you should decide to give him a second chance (after an attitude adjustment) a great way to reinforce his place is to talk openly with him and Robbie about the man you met at the offsite training session and how much you enjoyed his company. I would couple that with giving him instruction to do certain things that you know he is naturally inclined to resist effectively compelling him to choose between being with you or indulging his own selfish behaviour (daring him to disobey and lose access).

I know that all sounds like a lot of work. It isn't always worth it of course. But reality is that men will always require somme degree of management and that is more so the case for a hotwife.

You've commented on several things I would like to discuss, but in the interest of time, I will confine my comments to the Travis situation.

The reason I got angry with him is because when I told him I didn't want him moving back in with us, he immediately, like a challenge, said, "Why not?" If you ask me, I don't owe him an explanation, especially not when Robbie and I had already done him a huge favor. That kind of attitude never sets well with me.

But Travis isn't used to hearing the word, "No," and when I first posted about Travis, I think I said that when I babysat him, I thought he was a spoiled brat. He is a spoiled brat. His mom dotes on him like he is next in line for the throne. She does everything for him. It was his mom that made the effort to get him moved to a city where he might find a job. Not Travis. But she probably does these things because Travis' dad has never been much of a dad. He has never really been involved in his kids' life. If Travis died tomorrow, his dad would not notice anything different until someone told him.

So what does Travis need to grow up? Like you suspected, he needs to be set straight, but I've known that for a long time. He hated me as a babysitter. He said I was mean because I wouldn't let him do whatever he wanted to do. But now, having quit a good job and moved back home, he has gotten himself into a real bad situation. His previous employer, where he worked when he lived with us, is not hiring. Tariffs have hit them hard on new installs, and that's what Travis did. So at this point, the only thing he has been offered is a job installing drywall. That is not what he went to school for, and it pays next to nothing, and the employer is in a town that is over an hour's drive from his house. It is also not a guaranteed 40-hour workweek. It's a bleak prospect. His only other option is to convince me to let him move back in with us and hope he can find another job in his field.

Honestly, I don't want him to take a job installing drywall and get trapped in a situation where he is unable to move into his chosen field. I haven't told him yet, but I will let him move back in with us. I am only hesitating because I am enjoying making him sweat. It's probably not necessary, he has a much more humble attitude now, but I want to make sure he understands who sets the rules and who follows them.

By the way, do you remember why he moved back home? To be with Crystal. Well, guess what. They broke up. When he told me that on the phone, I was like, "You're shittin me."

Given all that has gone wrong for the poor boy, I think Travis will think twice next time. And although he is spoiled and immature, he really is a good person. He would never do harm to anyone, and I think some day he will make a wonderful husband. But he needs a little more training, and the rules around here will be a lot more strict this time. I hope he likes cutting the grass.

Actually, no I don't.

But I don't want to give anyone the wrong impression. I am looking forward to having a capable boyfriend living with us again. I love Robbie, and that has never wavered, but there are some things he's just not equipped to give me. Now that I have had those "things," I really miss them, and I need them going forward. I can't give them up for the rest of my life. And to be honest, I enjoy making Robbie witness my greedy, panting, enthusiastic use of those things.

 

[Toro1886]

You aren't Travis' mum but maybe you should tell him a little of the above... whether he will understand and take it on board is another matter.
However I agree you don't owe him an explanation and you certainly do not need to justify yourself to him. Telling him just that might make him think a bit!
I do think he will obey your rules if he is allowed to move back in! Well he'll have to won't he!!

 

[policywank]

You've commented on several things I would like to discuss, but in the interest of time, I will confine my comments to the Travis situation.

The reason I got angry with him is because when I told him I didn't want him moving back in with us, he immediately, like a challenge, said, "Why not?" If you ask me, I don't owe him an explanation, especially not when Robbie and I had already done him a huge favor. That kind of attitude never sets well with me.

But Travis isn't used to hearing the word, "No," and when I first posted about Travis, I think I said that when I babysat him, I thought he was a spoiled brat. He is a spoiled brat. His mom dotes on him like he is next in line for the throne. She does everything for him. It was his mom that made the effort to get him moved to a city where he might find a job. Not Travis. But she probably does these things because Travis' dad has never been much of a dad. He has never really been involved in his kids' life. If Travis died tomorrow, his dad would not notice anything different until someone told him.

So what does Travis need to grow up? Like you suspected, he needs to be set straight, but I've known that for a long time. He hated me as a babysitter. He said I was mean because I wouldn't let him do whatever he wanted to do. But now, having quit a good job and moved back home, he has gotten himself into a real bad situation. His previous employer, where he worked when he lived with us, is not hiring. Tariffs have hit them hard on new installs, and that's what Travis did. So at this point, the only thing he has been offered is a job installing drywall. That is not what he went to school for, and it pays next to nothing, and the employer is in a town that is over an hour's drive from his house. It is also not a guaranteed 40-hour workweek. It's a bleak prospect. His only other option is to convince me to let him move back in with us and hope he can find another job in his field.

Honestly, I don't want him to take a job installing drywall and get trapped in a situation where he is unable to move into his chosen field. I haven't told him yet, but I will let him move back in with us. I am only hesitating because I am enjoying making him sweat. It's probably not necessary, he has a much more humble attitude now, but I want to make sure he understands who sets the rules and who follows them.

By the way, do you remember why he moved back home? To be with Crystal. Well, guess what. They broke up. When he told me that on the phone, I was like, "You're shittin me."

Given all that has gone wrong for the poor boy, I think Travis will think twice next time. And although he is spoiled and immature, he really is a good person. He would never do harm to anyone, and I think some day he will make a wonderful husband. But he needs a little more training, and the rules around here will be a lot more strict this time. I hope he likes cutting the grass.

Actually, no I don't.

But I don't want to give anyone the wrong impression. I am looking forward to having a capable boyfriend living with us again. I love Robbie, and that has never wavered, but there are some things he's just not equipped to give me. Now that I have had those "things," I really miss them, and I need them going forward. I can't give them up for the rest of my life. And to be honest, I enjoy making Robbie witness my greedy, panting, enthusiastic use of those things.

It sounds like you have Robbie well trained and will soon have Travis set straight (or have already done so). Although I expect that Travis will need further direction and potential course corrections. If it were me I would be inclined to be direct and strict so that he knows he can't get away with bad behaviour. That need not be harsh, although it can be, especially if you enjoy that (I do). But it helps to be unyielding and accept no pushback if that entitlement rears its head again.

I think that as I have said before I seek to make sure all my men know that they have no claim on me. Travis should know that he is there for your pleasure and at your pleasure. In return he will be rewarded with access to your bedroom, but again only as you see fit. Over the years I have had a few boyfriends live with my husband and I. In addition to the above comments (although none were as immature as Travis) I sometimes insisted on an "availability" clause so to speak, meaning they would do everything in there power to make themselves available to me, including cancelling other engagements.

 

[LeaHaven]

Posting what I can for now....

I am sorry to report that nothing happened with the guy in New Orleans. I chickened out.

I will call him, Alex. He is 46 years old (What is it about me that I seem to attract 40-something guys?), and he was soooo easy to talk to. He lives in the same city we live in, but on the complete opposite side. Things between us were getting really friendly, but in the end, I just felt too uncertain. I didn't know if I was ready to start having sex with strangers. Am I really that kind of woman? Is it ok to be that kind of woman? I was also concerned about what Alex would think of me. I know, I would never have to see him again, but that didn't matter. I didn't want to be considered a dirty woman in his eyes, but then, I fantasized about him seeing me as the dirtiest woman he had ever been with.

Wishy washy, I know.

I couldn't decide, should I be a respectful young lady or the dirty little thing he can't stop thinking about? Honestly, I could decide, I wanted to be the latter, but I was just too afraid to go through with it. Once it happens, what will I think of myself on the other side?

I called Robbie every night, and I told him everything that was happening. It got to be very titillating, telling my husband, waiting at home, about the flirtations between me and another guy in a hotel in another city. Robbie was hanging on every word. I suspect he jerked off afterwards. More about that later.

On Thursday night, after a group of us got back to the hotel after dinner, Alex and I hung back until everyone else had left for their rooms, and then he and I had drinks in the bar. But we didn't plan that. It was like an unspoken agreement. He wanted to be alone with me, and I wanted to be alone with him, and we both knew it. We talked about everything. High school, college, my one boyfriend, his girlfriends, marriage, sex lives. He didn't believe me when I told him that Robbie and I were virgins when we got married.

"YOU made it through college without ever having sex?" he said. He looked me up and down. "You must've had every guy on campus after you."

Of course that last part was just sweet talk, but it worked. I like sweet talk, and he was good at it. I assured him that, as embarrassing as it is to admit, yes, Robbie and I were virgins.

"So everything turned out ok? The sex life is good?" he asked. I honestly wasn't sure if I should be honest or not, but my intentional hesitation implied the answer, just as I hoped it would, and Alex said, "Oh!" He looked at me for a moment and then said, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I so wanted to tell him. I wanted him to know. I wanted to be able to tell Robbie that I told him. I am not sure why, except that it felt like giving up Robbie's secret inadequacy to this guy was a bold and sexually adventurous thing to do. I think maybe I liked knowing that if I told, then that meant I controlled Robbie's story. And I like controlling Robbie. Maybe too much.

I had paused for too long.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to," Alex said.

The bar in the hotel is a huge room, and we were at a table near a window, not at the bar itself. There was another couple to our right, and I turned my head slightly to make sure they were not in earshot, then I turned back to Alex.

"Robbie cums too soon, like really soon."

Alex seemed unfazed. He picked up his drink from the table, calmly shrugged, and said, "I wouldn't worry about that. It'll go away with time." And then, just as he was putting his drink to his lips, I told him the extent of it.

"It's been four years," I said. He almost spewed his liquor. He wiped his mouth and looked at me in shock.

"Oh!" He stared at me with concern. "So it's not going away with time."

"No, not at all. If anything, it's getting worse."

"I'm sorry, Leah," he said. "That has to be very frustrating for you."

I explained that in every other way, Robbie is the best husband in the world, and I love him to death, and he has so many talents, "...but sex isn't one of them." As it turned out, I wasn't the only one with sex-life problems.

"When [he and his wife's last child] was born," he said, "[his wife] lost interest in sex, and it's never really come back. We have sex, but not very often, a few times a year maybe, and her heart is just not in it, anymore. My sex drive hasn't slowed down one bit. That's hard on a man, going without. Really hard. Sometimes I find myself looking at my neighbor's dog."

"Alex," I laughed, "that's terrible!" We had a good laugh, and then I asked, "Have y'all tried couples therapy?"

"She won't do therapy."

"Well, if she won't do anything to fix it, isn't she afraid you might go outside the marriage?" I asked.

"I don't think she cares."

"She doesn't care if you go outside your marriage?"

"It doesn't seem like it."

I softened my voice so the other couple wouldn't hear.

"Have you ever considered it?" I said.

Alex turned and looked at me with an inquisitive expression. It took a second for my dumb mind to catch on, and then it hit me. Here we were in a hotel bar, and me, the sexually frustrated young woman, with a softened voice, had just asked the sexually frustrated older guy if he was interested in an extramarital affair. My face turned 10 shades of red. Alex got a big, amused smile and jokingly asked, "Are you propositioning me?" I put my hands to my face to hide.

"No!" I said, "I'm sorry!" Alex began to laugh, and I added, "I should know better than to get into this kind of conversation."

"It's ok," he said, chuckling, "I knew what you meant."

That was a lie, but it was nice of him to play down my naivete.

On the phone that night, I told Robbie about that conversation. He didn't complain about me telling Alex that he cums too soon, and I knew he wouldn't. This new, sexually-charged, femdom, FLR, whatever you call it, relationship between us has taken on a life of its own. It seems to drive itself. It's like our whole marriage is now predicated on sex, and the more authority I exercise, the more I make him submit, the more aroused we both become. My phone calls with him were like phone sex. It was a new thing for us, and a new way for me to taunt him. My voice became soft and sultry.

"I told him how you cum too soon," I said. Robbie was completely silent, listening intently. "I told him how that leaves me constantly frustrated and needing more."

Robbie, like he so often does when I hit the mark, sighed in a voice I could barely hear.

"God, Leah."

They were just two words, but they were Robbie's way of expressing his total submission. He was telling me that he could not believe that I had told Alex. I used to be shy and harmless and safe, but I had just given away his deepest secret to another guy - a guy who I viewed with strong sexual interest. For Robbie, it was scary and humiliating, and it stripped him of his right to decide his own fate. It meant that his wife controlled everything about his life now. He really was a boy.

I am sure his little penis was as hard as nails, and I strongly suspected he was touching himself.

"Don't you jerk off tonight, baby," I told him. "If I'm not getting anything, you certainly don't."

"I won't."

Whether he did or not, I already knew I would treat it as a lie. He got punished on Sunday.

 

[liqueur]

I was also concerned about what Alex would think of me. I know, I would never have to see him again, but that didn't matter. I didn't want to be considered a dirty woman in his eyes, but then, I fantasized about him seeing me as the dirtiest woman he had ever been with....
should I be a respectful young lady or the dirty little thing he can't stop thinking about? Honestly, I could decide, I wanted to be the latter, but I was just too afraid to go through with it.

I know that tension between “dirty” and ”nice.” it's possible to be both, of course, but I'm sure you already know that.

You know how much it excited you, and how it made Robbie hot. Think of it as a practice run.

 

[LeaHaven]

I know that tension between “dirty” and ”nice.” it's possible to be both, of course, but I'm sure you already know that.

You know how much it excited you, and how it made Robbie hot. Think of it as a practice run.

A practice run. That's a good way to look at it.

To be honest, I am kind of disappointed in myself. I regret I did not "enjoy" my college years in that way. When do I start to live the life I want to live?

I guess I first have to decide what life I want to live.

 

[LeaHaven]

I finally got caught up with DM's this morning. If you sent me a message before today, and I have not responded, please let me know. Sometimes I open a message and then get interrupted and I have to close it. I may not remember that I have not responded to the message, and I don't know of an easy way to see which ones I have responded to without opening every single message. So, if I have not responded, please let me know.

 

[9to5]

Im sure you get a ton of DM;s and nice that you try to reply to them all.
I enjoy what your thoughts are here in the thread