Tzara
Continental
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2005
- Posts
- 7,758
Now with "musical" accompaniment.Idiosyncratic Poetry For Old People
When I hear 77 Sunset Strip I snap my fingers. Twice.
Week 16, Poem 1, Total 15
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Now with "musical" accompaniment.Idiosyncratic Poetry For Old People
When I hear 77 Sunset Strip I snap my fingers. Twice.
Week 16, Poem 1, Total 15
I knew you'd understand.Now with "musical" accompaniment.
I actually used Brylcreem when I was about 10. Disgusting stuff, but apparently it's still being manufactured.I knew you'd understand.
Also for the record I was *not* in the Kookie fan club. That comb was probably coated with Brylcreem. Yech!
Your poetry speaksLike Richard Hell and the Voidoids, my poetry cums in spurts.
The lyrics laugh loud,Deep Elem Blues
The band is bouncing,
rocking joyful melody.
But aren't these blues?
Blues blow your sorrow away:
that's what they're made for, Mama
Week 21, Poem 2, Total 21
I believe Wat is doing hard time in Litmo.Ahhhhh. Absence is the fragrant fertilizer for a yearning heart. Oh, how I exhale and regret my weeks of missed time.
Pretty sure no one needs any accounts of the crazy things that I've encountered lately. Life - life gets in the way of intentions. That's my best explanation. Soooooo let's jump right in and do some catching up and acknowledgments and who knows what else we may do today! Shall we? Let's go!
A hearty welcome to the challenge is extended to sister jenny, rapier55, and Politruk. Welcome back remec, D K Moon, and goddessofglee!
My apologies if I missed anyone else!
So many damn good pieces submitted! So many damn good lines that I loved. I do want to get to them all, but I am going to skip all that this particular week because there's something I need to do/correct.
I have been on the record saying that I intend to submit a poem a week. No more. No less.
Good thing I did not back that promise with a wager of a pound of flesh or a first born son! Right?
But just because I had trouble wrapping my head around how others could so easily churn out multiple pieces a week doesn't mean I should ignore and diminish the hard efforts of those who can do that. Since this challenge has started, there's been one member who has been doing this like no other and I gotta be honest and say that I struggled trying to credit so many submissions - that's all on me, though. Those are my admitted failings.
Soooooo let me try and make up for my lacking abilities and make do my having an all encompassing and special edition of WWYT!?
For all your submissions and hard work and dedication to the craft of poetry - Wat_Tyler, c'mon down! You're the next highlighted member on WWYT!?
Let me ask the easy questions first - the ones that have confounded my simple, one note at a time mind: Your poems are not generally short, 2 stanza pieces. How do you do it submitting the 2, 3, 4 pieces you can submit a week? WWYT!? I have not looked back on past challenges to see if you participated, but do you have a lockbox or a personal stash full of already written poetry or do you make yours up on the spot and in a day? WWYT!?
Your pieces don't follow any particular formed rule of poetry - I like that! But they all do come across as musings - sometimes written as being blurted out in the moment or deep thoughts from the recesses of your mind and many mention the loss of a woman that's occurred unexpectedly. For example, in February 8 you write, "You moved on... Three years ago... Beyond sight and hearing" and in Newton Grove the first lines are "I never did like...How we ended" WWYT!? In your piece Emotionally unavailable, you end by taking the blame with saying "...You were right about me". Whether if it's about you or not, I love the fact that poetry can be self relflective. When you have finished a piece, what is your main objective - conveying to the reader your thoughts or does being true to yourself your only concern? WWYT!? I think that my favorite poem of yours is Is IT Better?:
Hell, I donāt know
Not sure what it is
Not sure what is it
I came
Thought I could do better
No chance back home
My port of origin
Was simply that
I pushed very hard
To get where I am
Here, and now
This place
Exhaustion
Can I do it?
Or will I fail?
Mere inches
From the finish line . . . .
Love the subtle, easily unnoticed, change in lines 2 and 3! You have practically been a member here since Methuselah! Most of us here are all probably closer to our mortal end than the exit of our mother's womb. As I asked Tzara before, how do you feel about what you leave for others to read here on Lit and your legacy as one of the respected old guards? Do you have ideas on how to make Lit a more welcoming place for others who enjoy poetry as yourself? WWYT!?
There are two poems here that when I read surprised me with the thought of, "Where the heck did THAT come from?!" The first was death of a wheelbarrow by member butters (Hello? A not so subtle hint of a future WWYT!?) and the other was Wet Feet. This was submitted on March 1, and I invite everyone to read and it raises too many questions on my part so I give you now the floor to explain exactly WWYT!?
I could do more because this member has many pieces I could individually break down, but I will close now.
Thank you, Wat_Tyler, for your enthusiastic participation in this challenge and being the subject matter of a WWYT!? I think I speak for all the other members here when I say we look forward to reading and enjoying many more of your pieces!
Oh this is very muscular!! Love the epic verse here!In fair Fólkvangr a Shield
Maidenās wall ever falls
Woe this acrid flock of crows in
stone ship stood the ancient verse
in the dark a maidenās passage
is passed, rune written in Odenās
withering steel, the shield cloven
is but half Frejaās womanly wealth,
forever heroic the heraldic stars
shine upon the fair of SessrĆŗmnir,
heavenly hall of my slain maidenās head.
W2 P2
Ah! A villanelle!! Lovely!!The Bear Stumbles Into Spring
The bear breaks hunger with trembling pawsā
the thawed world stinks of sweat and bloom.
He stirs with no knowledge, only cause.
The quietās goneāreplaced with flaws,
a roar too big for his borrowed room.
The bear breaks hunger with trembling paws.
He gnaws at the air, ignores the laws
of soft beginnings or measured gloom.
He stirs with no knowledge, only cause.
Muscle and fang without a clause,
desire his compass, rage his womb.
The bear breaks hunger with trembling paws.
He claws at meaning, lost in the gauze
of dreams undone too fast, too soon.
He stirs with no knowledge, only cause.
This is not sin. This is the raw
truth of a boy turned beast by moon.
The bear breaks hunger with trembling paws.
He stirs with no knowledge, only cause.
10/52
Forms provide challenge to my imageryAh! A villanelle!! Lovely!!
Land, super fucking poem.
https://forum.literotica.com/thread...ms-only-thread.1624946/page-10#post-101041139
I agree. Land has been posting a lot of wonderful writing. He was really good when I knew him a gazillion (Land, super fucking poem.
https://forum.literotica.com/thread...ms-only-thread.1624946/page-10#post-101041139
I agree. Land has been posting a lot of wonderful writing. He was really good when I knew him a gazillion () years ago and he's gotten even better since then.
I have a lot of reading and catching up to do.
Just no time to do it. I did catch lands last poem and I thought it was fabulous but I havenāt read any of the other ones.
I'm so glad that it's touched you, I remember my first journey in to the forum and how much it challenged me to think beyond my childhood memories of poetry and my need to release. My poetry has grown since finding this sanctuary and those whose words and heart had the grace to accept my art and heart before they were worthy. This place has meant a lot to me, I found my soul and soulmate right here on these pages.@_Land your recent work, āI Remember All of Youā absolutely melted me. These threads, and some of the friends I have made here, even if only for a bit, have helped me through much in the last few years. Some through their weaving of words, some through their sacrificial listening to my troubles, and some by inspiring me to write. So many voice, so many wonderful people... I'm grateful to all of them and all of the work and words they have shared with me. Thanks for creating a tapestry of words that reflects all of that.
Hey! Thank you for taking the time @Angeline! Yeah, I did think that too...And I see how the "round curves" does sound a huge improvement from buttocks...Oh god, even thinking this out loud makes me cringe at the buttocks! haha!! I'll keeping working on that line. You're right.. Always good to have a readre, a fresh set eyes. Thank you kindly.Niv, I love The Moon Pays a Visit. I've read it a bunch of times since last night and it creates such a strong image: the play of moonlight over the woman's body. The whole piece feels lush and alive. I'm not sure if the narrator is the moon or someone else watching, which I think is a good thing.
These two lines are the only bit I'd edit:
My eyes given only a hint of her resting apple,
Her buttocks sheathed in cotton cloak,
"Resting apple" feels off to me and in fact you have to clarify it's her butt in the next line. And "buttocks" doesn't fit the ethereal tone of the rest of the piece. Maybe something like:
My eyes given only a hint of her resting form,
Round curves sheathed in cotton cloak
Just my opinion of course. Thanks for posting it: it's lovely, sensuous writing.
@_Land way to rip prolific.I have been so deep into the pen lately,
Love itThere once was a man called Todd
Who had a magnificent rod
When his mast was unfurled
It lured all the girls
Wanting a ride on his tripod