Comments that leave you shaking your head

[Actingup]

I find they come in waves. Several of my older stories have been getting attention lately, which is kind of nice. It's encouraged me to go back and read them again. Who knows, maybe I'll even leave myself an anonymous comment. .

Yeah... if I was speculating (which I am), I'd say that when all is running smoothly at Literotica Central, the moderated comments come in batches at about the same time every day, with occasional breaks on weekends. When it's a bit crazy, the moderation is more haphazard. On top of that, there's a trickle of unmoderated comments from trusted commentators that come through straight away, so the effect is semi-continuous.

 

[kitmarlowe]

This is a comment on another website, not here, but I figured I'd share it anyway. The story was for an April Fools contest and features a group of university students who spike a bowl of punch with a dangerous amount of Viagra, which leads to shenanigans. The comment reads:

With the dosage in the story, the right thing to do would have been to call an ambulance. A stupid and dangerous story.

I didn't anticipate that people would be reading smut in order to receive medical advice, but I'll keep that in mind in future.

 

[Actingup]

This is a comment on another website, not here, but I figured I'd share it anyway. The story was for an April Fools contest and features a group of university students who spike a bowl of punch with a dangerous amount of Viagra, which leads to shenanigans. The comment reads:



I didn't anticipate that people would be reading smut in order to receive medical advice, but I'll keep that in mind in future.

Probably a medical person who’s dealt with their share of grief. I know that I lose my sense of humour pretty quickly when people behave stupidly in matters relating to my own profession. It’s an easy trap for a reader or a writer when we think we’re on a site about unrealistic behaviour but it turns out to be too close to the bone of the real world!

 

[AlexFourways]

Probably a medical person who’s dealt with their share of grief. I know that I lose my sense of humour pretty quickly when people behave stupidly in matters relating to my own profession. It’s an easy trap for a reader or a writer when we think we’re on a site about unrealistic behaviour but it turns out to be too close to the bone of the real world!

Also someone being aware that there could be a reader who thinks that spiking punch with Viagra will be a good idea and then follow the dosage in the story. These days you need to research anything you put in a story because your reader might not and implicate you in anything that goes wrong!

 

[WordsIntheWyld]

So someone hit me with this gem:

Anonymousabout 1 hour ago
So, let me get this straight, you don't seem able write in third person but you have a novel coming out?

Hmmm, a tad 'cart before the horse' doncha think?

Naturally, I couldn't resist the urge to respond with a reading list: The Hunger Games, Catcher in the Rye, The Martian, Gone Girl, The Fault in Our Stars, The Girl on the Train, you know, just a few obscure little books that also had the audacity to be written in first person.

Apparently writing in a successful, emotionally resonant POV isn’t enough unless it comes with a third-person stamp of approval. Wyld.

 

[Actingup]

So someone hit me with this gem:

Anonymousabout 1 hour ago
So, let me get this straight, you don't seem able write in third person but you have a novel coming out?

Hmmm, a tad 'cart before the horse' doncha think?

Naturally, I couldn't resist the urge to respond with a reading list: The Hunger Games, Catcher in the Rye, The Martian, Gone Girl, The Fault in Our Stars, The Girl on the Train, you know, just a few obscure little books that also had the audacity to be written in first person.

Apparently writing in a successful, emotionally resonant POV isn’t enough unless it comes with a third-person stamp of approval. Wyld.

Also, anything scoring over 4.6 in Loving Wives is doing extremely well. You can find plenty of stuff on Amazon that would be torn to pieces in that forum, regardless of POV.

 

[AlexFourways]

So someone hit me with this gem:

Anonymousabout 1 hour ago
So, let me get this straight, you don't seem able write in third person but you have a novel coming out?

Hmmm, a tad 'cart before the horse' doncha think?

Naturally, I couldn't resist the urge to respond with a reading list: The Hunger Games, Catcher in the Rye, The Martian, Gone Girl, The Fault in Our Stars, The Girl on the Train, you know, just a few obscure little books that also had the audacity to be written in first person.

Apparently writing in a successful, emotionally resonant POV isn’t enough unless it comes with a third-person stamp of approval. Wyld.

WoW, I find reading things here, where personal feelings are important, far more satisfying and allows you to 'hear' the POV's thoughts. Something difficult to do on film where you are a ghost looking on.
I also find writing in the first person easier but when you switch who is the POV you need to make it clear to the reader that you have done so. Third person seems so impersonal, but there are times and places for it!

 

[WordsIntheWyld]

WoW, I find reading things here, where personal feelings are important, far more satisfying and allows you to 'hear' the POV's thoughts. Something difficult to do on film where you are a ghost looking on.
I also find writing in the first person easier but when you switch who is the POV you need to make it clear to the reader that you have done so. Third person seems so impersonal, but there are times and places for it!

Ditto. First person POV just clicks better with my lizard brain, third person has its place, but I feel like I'm trying to write through glass. Like I told my wife when she complained about the trunk spoiler my son put on his WRX: “If you don’t like it, then don’t look at it.” I said in a full, gruff voice. So if you don’t like the POV I use… then don’t read it. Simple as that. I’m telling a story the way it needs to be told.

 

[TheLobster]

Anonymous comment on my latest I/T story:

Yawn.

Caffeine deprivation is clearly a modern scourge, huh?

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Two star review with complaint that the reader 'didn't even know who the main character was'. Given the description of Only One Bed, Again! is 'Hiking trip nudges big brother & his sister into having sex', and the first sentence is 'Chris, my brother, was ten years older than me.', I didn't think it was a tough deduction.

Also complaint about Scottish phrases - given all Scottish words are explained in the text, what they're actually whinging about is the British. To use an actual esoteric British phrase, I refer them to the reply given in the case of Arkell v Pressdram.

 

[Actingup]

Two star review with complaint that the reader 'didn't even know who the main character was'. Given the description of Only One Bed, Again! is 'Hiking trip nudges big brother & his sister into having sex', and the first sentence is 'Chris, my brother, was ten years older than me.', I didn't think it was a tough deduction.

Also complaint about Scottish phrases - given all Scottish words are explained in the text, what they're actually whinging about is the British. To use an actual esoteric British phrase, I refer them to the reply given in the case of Arkell v Pressdram.

And for anybody else who had to remind themselves on that text... https://www.nasw.org/users/nbauman/arkell.htm

 

[Kumquatqueen]

And for anybody else who had to remind themselves on that text... https://www.nasw.org/users/nbauman/arkell.htm

Oh, you spoil them, Ambassador!

For a bit more context, Private Eye is a satirical news magazine that often is the first place to report dodgy dealings and coincidences like large contacts just happening to go to companies owned by the spouse of the person awarding the contract. Its editor Ian Hislop is the most-sued man in the country, but nowadays usually wins.

 

[SkyBubble]

We've got a Comments that Make Your Day thread. I figured this would be a good counterpoint. I'll start.

This comment just came in on my latest story, Magic Cats and Wishful Thinking. No idea what it has to do with the story...

---

"Find me I\my wife and I love to get plowed"

I posted a celebrity story recently (a couple of months ago) that drew the following:

"I swear this would be so good if it weren't about her."

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Well, I got Stacnashed... so there's that.



I won’t spend too much time on this as the bestiality content has been reported to the site’s administrators. No part of me gives a fuck about your flimsy justifications for trying to circumvent the rules.
Putting aside the fact that you wrote a sex scene between an adult woman and a bear, what preceded it was an incredibly dull piece of writing. Evidently, you would’ve preferred to produce a 20,000-word document about hiking and the great outdoors. However, there’s nothing to act as a hook because you write in a very functional manner. Layla had no personality and every move she made bored me to tears. At first, I thought you were just enjoying yourself with the world-building and gave you a pass, but it became tedious in a hurry.
From a storytelling perspective, if a character has an interesting dream, show it to us. Don’t jump to her scribbling the details down the next morning. That said, you probably didn’t care as all that mattered to you was the hike and getting to the scene with the bear. When you wrote - “Somehow, she knew he wasn't going to harm her…” – it was clear that you’d thrown all logic and patience out the window.
No stars for you, just this red flag. Hold onto it nice and tight, you earned it. People like you make me embarrassed to read the content on Literotica.
1/100

 

[MiaBabe23]

Well, I got Stacnashed... so there's that.



I won’t spend too much time on this as the bestiality content has been reported to the site’s administrators. No part of me gives a fuck about your flimsy justifications for trying to circumvent the rules.
Putting aside the fact that you wrote a sex scene between an adult woman and a bear, what preceded it was an incredibly dull piece of writing. Evidently, you would’ve preferred to produce a 20,000-word document about hiking and the great outdoors. However, there’s nothing to act as a hook because you write in a very functional manner. Layla had no personality and every move she made bored me to tears. At first, I thought you were just enjoying yourself with the world-building and gave you a pass, but it became tedious in a hurry.
From a storytelling perspective, if a character has an interesting dream, show it to us. Don’t jump to her scribbling the details down the next morning. That said, you probably didn’t care as all that mattered to you was the hike and getting to the scene with the bear. When you wrote - “Somehow, she knew he wasn't going to harm her…” – it was clear that you’d thrown all logic and patience out the window.
No stars for you, just this red flag. Hold onto it nice and tight, you earned it. People like you make me embarrassed to read the content on Literotica.
1/100

Well, I had a glance and looks like your story was removed, so - presume he had a point…

 

[Actingup]

Well, I got Stacnashed... so there's that.



I won’t spend too much time on this as the bestiality content has been reported to the site’s administrators. No part of me gives a fuck about your flimsy justifications for trying to circumvent the rules.
Putting aside the fact that you wrote a sex scene between an adult woman and a bear, what preceded it was an incredibly dull piece of writing. Evidently, you would’ve preferred to produce a 20,000-word document about hiking and the great outdoors. However, there’s nothing to act as a hook because you write in a very functional manner. Layla had no personality and every move she made bored me to tears. At first, I thought you were just enjoying yourself with the world-building and gave you a pass, but it became tedious in a hurry.
From a storytelling perspective, if a character has an interesting dream, show it to us. Don’t jump to her scribbling the details down the next morning. That said, you probably didn’t care as all that mattered to you was the hike and getting to the scene with the bear. When you wrote - “Somehow, she knew he wasn't going to harm her…” – it was clear that you’d thrown all logic and patience out the window.
No stars for you, just this red flag. Hold onto it nice and tight, you earned it. People like you make me embarrassed to read the content on Literotica.
1/100

Welcome to the club!!! Congratulations on reaching this important milestone in your writing career.

Was it a real bear? Please link to the story so that we can make up our own mind. I love stories about hiking.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Well, I had a glance and looks like your story was removed, so - presume he had a point…

Well, it got approved originally and was up for almost a year.
The bear is clearly a supernatural entity.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Welcome to the club!!! Congratulations on reaching this important milestone in your writing career.

Was it a real bear? Please link to the story so that we can make up our own mind. I love stories about hiking.

No, it wasn't. It was a supernatural entity, a former Native American who had lost his tribe to disease.

 

[MiaBabe23]

Well, it got approved originally and was up for almost a year.
The bear is clearly a supernatural entity.

Trying to justify your rule breach with that ‘excuse’ isn’t making your gripe seem any more convincing

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Trying to justify your rule breach with that ‘excuse’ isn’t making your gripe seem any more convincing

What's the difference between an "excuse" and an "important plot point"?
Asking for a friend.

 

[MiaBabe23]

What's the difference between an "excuse" and an "important plot point"?
Asking for a friend.

Ugh let’s not clog the thread with this back and forth, so one more reply
The ‘friend’ you’re asking for, i.e. you, evidently need to not include bestiality as an ‘important plot point’

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Ugh let’s not clog the thread with this back and forth, so one more reply
The ‘friend’ you’re asking for, i.e. you, evidently need to not include bestiality as an ‘important plot point’

The rules for the category clearly say magical creatures are allowed. So, the important plot point is that we are dealing with a magical creature that was formerly a human being. That's well within the rules.
Perhaps you missed that element when you read the story.

 

[MiaBabe23]

The rules for the category clearly say magical creatures are allowed. So, the important plot point is that we are dealing with a magical creature that was formerly a human being. That's well within the rules.
Perhaps you missed that element when you read the story.

I was saved from reading it by it having been removed; you pointed out the banned bestiality element
You pretending not to know the difference between a vampire etc and an animal makes me, well, put you on iggy

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I was saved from reading it by it having been removed; you pointed out the banned bestiality element
You pretending not to know the difference between a vampire etc and an animal makes me, well, put you on iggy because I’m worried now why you’re continuing this

Thought you didn't want to clutter up the thread and were done?
And you're the one fixated on an alleged rule breach. Nice projection though.

 

[NuclearFairy]

Makes you wonder if things that get reported actually get a deeper look than things that get submitted. Or if they just trust that something reported is bad. I'd be tempted to resubmit the story with a note attached saying that it's not bestiality and why.