Tanka Poem

[Jocelyn_Nicole_Sawyer]

and the AWARD for the thread with the HIGHEST literary/poetic pedigree goes to...

 

[NivKay]

he's too modest... but do I have a marketing degree or don't I?

https://www.literotica.com/authors/NivKumar/works/poetry

You're too sweet...but I tell you what, @Annelih and @Angeline have some serious poetic swagger happening there

 

[Jocelyn_Nicole_Sawyer]

Did yiou catch that jump at 0.35...that was bloody brilliant!!!

I watch that almost daily ... like, I need that in my life -- so much beauty

 

[Jocelyn_Nicole_Sawyer]

You're too sweet...but I tell you what, @Annelih and @Angeline have some serious poetic swagger happening there

I know that now took me awhile to realize the talent I had in my Tanka-Stable ... I think we should all publish a book together! okay...so I don't have any poems... so I'll work on the formatting and what not... but I'm serious

 

[Tzara]

Do you hear the soft
Slow plucking of that guitar?
That sound plucks at me
In the way your brown eyes pluck
My buttons right off my chest.

sound of koto strings
remind me of her sitting
at her instrument
and later, her removing
her kimono like a song

 

[WCSGarland]

Flaxen filigree,
Adorns and frames her soft brow,
Grabbing haloed light,
Angelic are her features,
And fleeting are her concerns.

 

[Annelih]

Flaxen filigree,
Adorns and frames her soft brow,
Grabbing haloed light,
Angelic are her features,
And fleeting are her concerns.

And yet, what they see
is so far from how she feels,
She knows what they see
But she knows the wickedness
she harbours, her silent song.

 

[Annelih]

You're too sweet...but I tell you what, @Annelih and @Angeline have some serious poetic swagger happening there

Are you saying no one else here has swagger?? Would you like to rethink this?

 

[WCSGarland]

And yet, what they see
is so far from how she feels,
She knows what they see
But she knows the wickedness
she harbours, her silent song.

I'm not sure changing the tenor of the poem from diaphanous to furtive is the proper path.

 

[Annelih]

What, pray tell, Sir, is the 'proper path'?

 

[WCSGarland]

After your addition, the only response could be a war between natures - diaphanous versus furtive. Anything less would make it more incongruous.

 

[WCSGarland]

And yet, what they see
is so far from how she feels,
She knows what they see
But she knows the wickedness
she harbours, her silent song.

Delicate fingers,
Weave the softened light to form,
spider webs of dew,
Dream catchers silvery net,
That puff with humorous thought.

 

[AlinaX]

young bride on her knees
teasing the best man's sceptre
with mischievous lips
"I'm not marrying," she says
"without a fortune in pearls"

 

[Jocelyn_Nicole_Sawyer]

young bride on her knees
teasing the best man's sceptre
with mischievous lips
"I'm not marrying," she says
"without a fortune in pearls"

I'm sure the rest of the groomsmen are happily standing in that line too!

 

[AlinaX]

the first of many
groomsmen standing in that line
to bestow treasure
she'll be gliding up the aisle
to give the vicar his turn

 

[Jocelyn_Nicole_Sawyer]

not the vicar! that would be scandalous...

 

[AlinaX]

dearly beloved
we are gathered here today
in, ah, in, hold on
ahh, yes, in the sight of God
to join, mmm, together this -

 

[Jocelyn_Nicole_Sawyer]

dearly beloved
we are gathered here today
in, ah, in, hold on
ahh, yes, in the sight of God
to join, mmm, together this -

you're killing me!

 

[Jocelyn_Nicole_Sawyer]

maybe our Tanka-gents will compose a couple from the groom's pov -- what has he been up to?

 

[Jocelyn_Nicole_Sawyer]

Let's see who can...ahhh...rise to the occasion!

 

[WCSGarland]

Remind me again,
Does the groom pluck the flowers?
And then doth arrange,
The maid's deflowered bouquet,
for the bride to toss away?

 

[Booboobear84]

The Maid of Honor
Maidenhead happily gone
Groomsmen so eager
Different receiving line
Of nectar naughty and fine

 

[Booboobear84]

I was thinking of this when wrote the above https://voca.ro/16jgechPaZ8K
I’ll try to find a version with pretty singing and post it. And it’s again the very essential Robert Burns

 

[NivKay]

A tardy entrance,
And a buzzing gathering,
Clueless but intrigued
By the Vicar’s sacrament
Administered with passion

 

[Jocelyn_Nicole_Sawyer]

Thanks for noticing
I was there on a mission
though I was clueless
But you sensed, then took me home
and Fuck-erased-away...him