Leahaven

Giving them regular chores like that is a great way to remind them of their place. It is another form of communicating where they stand. It also gives them an opportunity to be obedient, which they will come to see as it's own reward and they will not want to break the trend of ongoing compliance. That trend is aided by motivating Travis to do as he is told as you have done with the prospect of reward (the carrot so to speak) is opposed to punishment (the stick so to speak).

But the occasional rap on the knuckles is also a powerful lesson. For instance, if even that minor incident of back talk results in denial of sex for a day or two (or whatever punishment suits you if you don't want to do without the sex) he will learn to check himself even more, thereby more deeply entrenching his instinct to obey.

When I started doing this I found that when informed of his punishment my man would apologize and offer to do as he was told right away. At that point I would say it is too late. The punishment stands and he is expected to do as he was told right away if he does not wish to receive further punishment. And I would do it with a smile and a pleasant attitude so that he saw that I was in complete control without negative emotion. As a result, his ongoing compliance is not a matter of fear of punishment so much as an acceptance of inevitability. He understands that the end result will always be his obedience and he will be rewarded for that obedience. All other avenues are dead ends.
Robbie and I took mass transit into the center of the city this past weekend. He had a bad attitude because of some things going on with his mom (She is still a problem in our life), but he was being bitchy with me, and I didn't deserve it. We were sitting next to each other on the train, and I asked him, "Did your mom and dad ever use a belt on you?" He turned to me like I had lost my mind.

"No," he said, "you know that."

I replied, "Well, I'm not your mom and dad."

I think a "rap on the knuckles" could be very good medicine.

Thank you for the comments. I like everything you said!
 
This remarkable twist in your sexual saga just serves as additional proof of a conviction I have held for many years, namely: The superiority of the female sex. While not as physically strong as men are, women are more representative of whatever species we evolved from, before the split into male and female, men being mere accessories to the female's primal push to procreate. You're so much more beautiful than we are, It's only right that we men should be required to do our mistresses bidding in return for receiving your sexual favors.
 
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Robbie and I took mass transit into the center of the city this past weekend. He had a bad attitude because of some things going on with his mom (She is still a problem in our life), but he was being bitchy with me, and I didn't deserve it. We were sitting next to each other on the train, and I asked him, "Did your mom and dad ever use a belt on you?" He turned to me like I had lost my mind.

"No," he said, "you know that."

I replied, "Well, I'm not your mom and dad."

I think a "rap on the knuckles" could be very good medicine.

Thank you for the comments. I like everything you said!
oooh...someone is going to be in trouble!
 
I am not sure I will get the chance this weekend. Robbie is kicking my car out of the garage tomorrow, because it is time for him to begin painting his project car. He will need the whole space. He warned me that he and Travis may be working until late in the night. If that happens, then my little plan will have to wait.

Isn't it interesting? People used to ask me, "What are you plans for Travis?" and I would always tell them, "I don't have any plans. I'm just taking things as they come." Now I actually have plans....and the best part...they're so devious!
dont forget the hooks in the garage ceiling, 2 for 2 boys someday
 
This remarkable twist in your sexual saga just serves as additional proof of a conviction I have held for many years, namely: The superiority of the female sex. Women, while not as physically strong as men, are more representative of whatever species we evolved from, before the split into male and female, while men are mere accessories to the female's primal push to procreate. You're so much more beautiful than we are, It's only right that we men should be required to do our mistresses bidding in return for receiving your sexual favors.
I really like that, Popeye, but it's too much to put on a T-shirt
 
dont forget the hooks in the garage ceiling, 2 for 2 boys someday
What 9to5 is talking about is a DM between him and me. This is me responding to him:

Anyway, I have been using Travis' "mommy" fetish kind of manipulatively and conniving ways to get him caged. It's fun and challenging, and I like that kind of control. I had a dream this morning that I had his hands tied above his head to a hook on the ceiling in our garage, and I was slapping his cock and making him promise obedience. The dream was hot, and I really wish I could make that happen. I am weird, I know. But I got the idea from lurking in these forums (all my ideas come from here.) The hook I imagined is the kind like we use to hang our bikes. I am going to tell Robbie to install another one, just a single hook, but I am not going to tell him why. Will it come to anything? I don't know, but I will like seeing the hook there.
 
My bike ride got cancelled this morning because of rain, so here I am. But it reminds me...

There's a guy in the group (the bike group), I will call him Derek. He flirts with me a LOT. He is a very nice, good looking guy, and I flirt back. But last week he asked me about meeting for lunch. I wanted to, but I made up an excuse that my week would be too busy for that. But the real reason I turned him down is because, what if someone from my work saw us together? I told Robbie about it, and he told me to meet Derek far away from work. But I can't drive to the other side of the city to meet someone for lunch, so I really don't know...how do people have affairs? I am not saying I am ready to have an affair. I just wanted to do lunch, because now I know I can. But how do you make that happen discretely?

By the way, Jack has been out of the country for the past few weeks, so I haven't seen him on our weekend bike rides. I am not sure when he is coming back. Also, I finally got up the nerve and asked Erin if there is something going on between them. Her response was basically, "I wish." So I'm not sure what to think of Jack. He is very attentive, but it never goes much further.
 
oh boy you going to have your hands full with all the boys.
if you can meet a little out of the way and someplace that you dont think others might go too
 
but then keep in mind your only meeting for lunch, so it could be out in the open
 
Things have progressed a long way in terms of the dynamics between you and the men in your life since you first started posting here! I like the way over time you have over time developed more and more control over them, first Robbie and then Travis, and first socially and then with the increased intimacy and intensity of sexual control.
 
My bike ride got cancelled this morning because of rain, so here I am. But it reminds me...

There's a guy in the group (the bike group), I will call him Derek. He flirts with me a LOT. He is a very nice, good looking guy, and I flirt back. But last week he asked me about meeting for lunch. I wanted to, but I made up an excuse that my week would be too busy for that. But the real reason I turned him down is because, what if someone from my work saw us together? I told Robbie about it, and he told me to meet Derek far away from work. But I can't drive to the other side of the city to meet someone for lunch, so I really don't know...how do people have affairs? I am not saying I am ready to have an affair. I just wanted to do lunch, because now I know I can. But how do you make that happen discretely?

By the way, Jack has been out of the country for the past few weeks, so I haven't seen him on our weekend bike rides. I am not sure when he is coming back. Also, I finally got up the nerve and asked Erin if there is something going on between them. Her response was basically, "I wish." So I'm not sure what to think of Jack. He is very attentive, but it never goes much further.

I would say that lunch is pretty innocuous. Typically I pick somewhere that I am unlikely to run into people I know. But I would also have it be a sort of busy, bustling, business like place (as opposed to a more intimate cosy place) so that if someone does see you that might think it is just a business lunch or casual platonic thing. That also helps ensure that the guy you are having lunch with will not get too many ideas until you know if you want to go further.

If it goes well then next time pick someplace more private. At that point you will both have some awareness that things might go further and suggesting some place further afield will send that message. Trust me he will go along happily. I treat it like any other date and don't bring my marital status into it unless it comes up. And like any other date I maintain control - not necessarily in the way that you do with Robbie and Travis, but certainly in the sense that as in virtually all sexual situations the woman decides what will happen. It is a subtle thing, but I like to project a clarity of thought. I enjoy the flirting back and forth and all of that, but I want the guy to know that he isn't going to romance me in the sense of convincing me to be with him as if I am not decisive. I will decide and it will be on my terms, but very favourable to him if I do proceed.

It is interesting that this has come up for you. I have always found that one of the best ways to maintain a balance between my husband and any other man I am dating (especially if he knows my husband like Travis knows yours) is to date other man as well. You have already set the tone for Travis so this isn't strictly necessary. But often times the other man will get unproductive thoughts in his head about his status relative to the husband and why a wife chooses to take a lover. Knowing that you date other men as well dispels any of those notions.

These dynamics put you firmly in control of all of these relationships. And I think it is best for the hot wife to maintain that control. You will have different interactions and connections with each man. They may not all be your 'boys' the way Robbie and Travis are. But I personally find it all works best if you set boundaries in a decisive manner.
 
What 9to5 is talking about is a DM between him and me. This is me responding to him:

Anyway, I have been using Travis' "mommy" fetish kind of manipulatively and conniving ways to get him caged. It's fun and challenging, and I like that kind of control. I had a dream this morning that I had his hands tied above his head to a hook on the ceiling in our garage, and I was slapping his cock and making him promise obedience. The dream was hot, and I really wish I could make that happen. I am weird, I know. But I got the idea from lurking in these forums (all my ideas come from here.) The hook I imagined is the kind like we use to hang our bikes. I am going to tell Robbie to install another one, just a single hook, but I am not going to tell him why. Will it come to anything? I don't know, but I will like seeing the hook there.
Just for fun, you could be a little less subtle and hang a pair of ligatures from the hook, and if you're really bold, a flogger as well. That would get people wondering.
 
I would say that lunch is pretty innocuous. Typically I pick somewhere that I am unlikely to run into people I know. But I would also have it be a sort of busy, bustling, business like place (as opposed to a more intimate cosy place) so that if someone does see you that might think it is just a business lunch or casual platonic thing. That also helps ensure that the guy you are having lunch with will not get too many ideas until you know if you want to go further.

If it goes well then next time pick someplace more private. At that point you will both have some awareness that things might go further and suggesting some place further afield will send that message. Trust me he will go along happily. I treat it like any other date and don't bring my marital status into it unless it comes up. And like any other date I maintain control - not necessarily in the way that you do with Robbie and Travis, but certainly in the sense that as in virtually all sexual situations the woman decides what will happen. It is a subtle thing, but I like to project a clarity of thought. I enjoy the flirting back and forth and all of that, but I want the guy to know that he isn't going to romance me in the sense of convincing me to be with him as if I am not decisive. I will decide and it will be on my terms, but very favourable to him if I do proceed.

It is interesting that this has come up for you. I have always found that one of the best ways to maintain a balance between my husband and any other man I am dating (especially if he knows my husband like Travis knows yours) is to date other man as well. You have already set the tone for Travis so this isn't strictly necessary. But often times the other man will get unproductive thoughts in his head about his status relative to the husband and why a wife chooses to take a lover. Knowing that you date other men as well dispels any of those notions.

These dynamics put you firmly in control of all of these relationships. And I think it is best for the hot wife to maintain that control. You will have different interactions and connections with each man. They may not all be your 'boys' the way Robbie and Travis are. But I personally find it all works best if you set boundaries in a decisive manner.
It is not unusual for us to take a client to lunch, but it is very rare for only one of us to attend that meeting. If it is only one of us, that person would be much higher up the ladder than I am. So if I did lunch with him, it would have to look like some other meeting. But you are right. Lunch is pretty innocuous. It's just lunch with a friend.

Old habits are hard to break.

With that in mind, if we do meet for lunch, I will suggest we meet in one of the normal lunch places I use (and the people I work with). Why would I hide it if I am just meeting a friend for lunch? Of course, all that depends on if I can come up with a way to get him to revisit the invitation. He probably took my turn-down as a "No."
 
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Things have progressed a long way in terms of the dynamics between you and the men in your life since you first started posting here! I like the way over time you have over time developed more and more control over them, first Robbie and then Travis, and first socially and then with the increased intimacy and intensity of sexual control.
I like it, too! But my planned NCD with Travis will have to wait. Except for a break they took to go to a festival on Saturday, He and Robbie worked on the project car all weekend.
 
And speaking of the festival, while we were there, I had Robbie take a picture of me with Travis so I could send it to one of my best friends. She lives out west, and we almost never get to see each other. When I sent her the picture, it didn't take a hot second before my phone rang. It was Sarah. But she wasn't calling about Travis. She was calling about me. She was like, "Fuck me! You're in tight jeans and a top that shows cleavage! What the fuck? And you've got bangs!" (Yes, I'm trying a different hairstyle)

She was dumbstruck. I didn't really think about the fact that she has never seen the "new" Leah.

And so standing under overcast skies, with people constantly walking by and a band playing in the distance, she and I had a long phone conversation.
 
It is not unusual for us to take a client to lunch, but it is very rare for only one of us to attend that meeting. If it is only one of us, that person would be much higher up the ladder than I am. So if I did lunch with him, it would have to look like some other meeting. But you are right. Lunch is pretty innocuous. It's just lunch with a friend.

Old habits are hard to break.

With that in mind, if we do meet for lunch, I will suggest we meet in one of the normal lunch places I use (and the people I work with). Why would I hide it if I am just meeting a friend for lunch? Of course, all that depends on if I can come up with a way to get him to revisit the invitation. He probably took my turn-down as a "No."

Engaging in any kind of extra-marital activities (or the precursor thereof such as an innocuous lunch) always has a certain amount of risk of being found out (I don't say 'caught' because it isn't really anyone else's business, but realistically there can be consequences to being found out). There is also the risk of the relationship (be it a simple hook-up or something more) having complications. Moving in small increments allows you the latitude to step back if and when you feel the need with minimal consequences.

Ultimately I think that maintaining control and owning your actions are the best ways to handle potential adverse outcomes. And doing that is also a matter of small increments that allow you to learn how best to do that with any given man and eventually a cross-section of men. One of the sayings that I am fond of is that "we teach people how to treat us." If a man seeks to push me into something and I indulge too much in explaining why I won't do it he will infer that I feel the need to explain myself, which on some level validates whatever he is trying to get me to do. In that case I have "taught" him that I accept the validity of whatever pressure he is applying and am willing to be put in a position where I feel compelled to justify my own resistance. If I give him a hard no with minimal explanation (i.e. nothing beyond simply telling him where I stand and maybe why) I establish that he has no right to impose expectations on me, my decision is final and non-negotiable and he has no option but to accept it. Likewise if someone sees me having lunch with a man and asks me about it I take the view that they have no right to know. I will give them a matter of fact response and make no effort to explain or justify it and not entertain a follow-up questions or comments. If they start speculating and asking me to confirm or deny I will refuse to do either and walk away. Or in rare instances where denial amounts to confession I may lie - I hate lying but if it is the only way to avoid someone intruding upon my privacy I feel its I justified.

Of course sometimes that is all easier said than done. And it won't stop people from talking among themselves. But the thing about rumours, innuendo and scandal is that the oxygen that feeds them is denial, debate and rebuttal. When we push back, explain, justify etc. we give people more to talk about and that keeps the matter alive. If we just own it and shrug it off people run out of stuff to talk about and quickly lose interest. Politics is a great example of this. The biggest scandals are given life by the politician who gives excuses, denials and explanations. The gives the press and opponents something to hang on to and an ongoing stream of content to publish and debate. Whereas in many cases if they just say 'yup I did it' (with or without apology) it often dies out because you can't keep repeating the same story over and over again.

It is probably easier for me being an older woman with more seniority. But at this stage if someone sees me having a lunch or dinner that appears suspect they don't even bother asking or saying anything. They will get zilch from me, a shrug from anyone who knows me and end up looking like dirt digging busy bodies.
 
Remember when Travis spilled the beans and told Robbie about my "middle of the night habit"? That night or maybe the next, I walked into my bedroom from the bathroom, wearing my nightshirt and running a brush through my hair, which was still damp from taking a shower, and Robbie was sitting up in bed waiting for me.

"Is it true what Travis said?" he asked.

I knew the question was coming, eventually. I thought for a minute and said, "I don't think it's been ten, yet."

From the look of surprise on Robbie's face, he was obviously expecting me to say, "No." Surprise turned to puzzlement, and he asked, "How? You just go to his room in the middle of the night? Do you wake him up first?"

That last question made me giggle.

I told him that I have gone to his room, but most often he comes to our room. Robbie was like, "WHAAAT?"

This situation was the first time in our 17 years that I had been, in any way, decietful to Robbie, and I could see that he was feeling unsure and conflicted. I knew he liked me to suck Travis' cock, and "like" is putting it mildly, but his wife doing it behind his back was new and shaky ground for him. Robbie is not a brave, charge-into-the-world kind of guy. I have to persuade him to get on my broomstick, and before we take off into the unknown, I have to warn him, "Hold on tight, baby. Here we go!" In this situation, he never got a warning. I knew I needed to explain, but as you all know, talking to Robbie about sex is very difficult. On top of that, I had been wanting to truly "test the waters" of our new lifestyle. This was an opportunity I couldn't pass up.

I stopped brushing my hair and asked Robbie where Travis was.

"He went to play his Switch."

That meant that Travis had gone to his bedroom for the night.

I tossed my brush on the bed and told Robbie to keep quiet and come with me. I took his hand and led him to my office, tiptoeing past Travis' room, me in my nightshirt and Robbie in thin, gray sweats and a plain, white T-shirt. As we passed Travis' bedroom door, I could hear him playing Sonic with the sound low. I thought about how considerate it was of him to keep his gameplay quiet for us, and I could imagine him laid back against the pillow with one foot flat on the bed and the other ankle resting on his bent knee, his Switch held in the air above his head. I had seen it multiple times.

I pulled Robbie into my office, very quietly closed my office door behind us, and gently pressed the lock. "Click!" It sounded so loud! In a quiet voice, I told Robbie to get under my desk, while I slipped out of my underwear. I took a seat in my office chair and rolled up to my desk...up to Robbie's face. I opened my supple legs.

"Be a good boy, baby," I whispered, "and put that faithful mouth of yours where it belongs."

Robbie didn't even hesitate. He slid up close, put my right thigh on his shoulder, and began to gently kiss my deserving pussy. He had just found out that I had been sucking off another guy behind his back, but when I told him to serve his boss, he eagerly submitted without even the slightest pause. I smiled the most gloating smile.

"Mmm..." I moaned, looking down at my good boy, "make it good, baby, and make it last a long time."

Robbie gently sucked and licked my priviledged, little button, and while he dutifully serviced my freshly showered pussy, I explained how I came to be sucking off Travis behind his back. I told him about how it all started when one night, in a text while Travis was out with friends, he suggested that I should leave my bedroom door open.

"I knew what he wanted," I told Robbie. "I wanted it, too. There's just something about sucking a big cock. And that's not something I can get from you, now is it, baby?" A belittling giggle escaped from my mouth, but my good boy kept right on sucking and licking and kissing the wet little pussy between my thighs. I was so proud of him.

I began to softly stroke his hair with my fingers, as I continued my whispered explanation.

"We thought you would wake up, but the longer you slept, the more sinful it felt. And I've gotten to where I really enjoy being sinful. I was cheating on you, baby, with a great big cock in my married mouth, right under your nose, and I was really liking it. I guess Travis was liking it, too, because he let go a muffled grunt as he ejected the first shot of warm cum into your wife's mouth. He tried to stay quiet as his cock spasmed, again and again and again, and that dirty wife of yours gladly took every drop he had to give. She should have been ashamed of herself, but instead, she loved hearing her husband snoring behind her."

I could see Robbie was loving every word I said. I said more. I don't remember it all, but I carried on for some time. I was really enjoying myself, but by now I was so wet and horny, I had to have relief. I told Robbie in an impatient voice to "give me my orgasm now, baby."

He sucked my clit into his mouth and my well-trained boy sucked it just right. I had to cover my mouth with my hand to keep Travis from hearing my orgasm-induced moans, that seemed to go on and on and on.

After I caught my breath, I told Robbie to lie down on the floor next to my desk and jerk off. I knew he wouldn't last long. I sat curled up right next to his head while he was jerking his stiff little wimpy penis. I don't know why, just to be mean, I guess, but I pulled the hem of his T-shirt up and stretched it over his head so he couldn't see. Seeing him like that made me giggle. I leaned down and whispered.

"You don't mind if I suck big cocks and cheat on you behind your back, now do you, baby?"

"Oh, God!" Robbie gasped in desperation. He shook his white T-shirt covered head to answer "No," and then began to ejaculate all over his belly. I picked up my underwear off my desk, gingerly unlocked the door, and walked quietly back to our bedroom. I left Robbie lying on the floor by himself.

Ever since that night, he's been the most attentive, obedient boy you've ever seen.
 
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