What do you decide to reveal in the “short description”?

[Need_a_bedtime_story]

I have 9 chapters of a story, 10K words each. There is a lot happening in each chapter. And usually there is a shocking revelation/plot twist in the last paragraph.

I don’t want to be vague because that might not be the best for drawing attention and viewers but I’m hesitant to reveal the plot twist spoilers in the short descriptions. And at the same time so much is happening in one chapter and I don’t know what to bring forward.

So for example in ch4 the hero learns the existence of an alien planet and at the last paragraph of ch4 the hero escapes an seemingly inescapable prison. In the 5th chapter they get in serious trouble, are found and brought back, some romance happens, and at the end of ch5 they find out a shocking detail about the person who imprisoned them.

How do you decide on a summary when a lot is going on?

 

[ElectricBlue]

How do you decide on a summary when a lot is going on?

Do print novels have summaries of every chapter?

No, they don't. So why would a digital version be any different?

Your thinking is short term, geared around your chapter release rate. In six months or twelve months that's irrelevant, because the whole thing is out there, and can be read just like any book - sequentially, with no pause between chapters.

Why don't you let readers read each chapter without authorial guidance? I'm sure they can manage that by themselves.

 

[Lifestyle66]

How do you decide on a summary when a lot is going on?

That one line doesn't need to be a summary of the story. It's an "attention getter"!

Use those words to grab the attention of a potential reader of that category. In "Loving Wives" (my favorite category, where they like BTB stories), for example, my best viewed story has the line "Husband discovers his wife’s deception."

I didn't tell them whether he burns her or reconciles. It's the deceiving wife they are looking for, and that story has over 120k views.

 

[SimonDoom]

What Lifestyle said. Don't think of it as a summary. There's no need for a summary. You just want to attract readers. What is the single most interesting and appealing thing about your story? Focus on that, not on giving away the plot.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

There are many ways to write your description depending on different factors.

1 ~ Do you tell them something arty and sensual?
2 ~ Do you tell them something more direct and kink-based?
3 ~ Do you give straight up spoilers?

For most readers, you want to just tell them flat out what they are getting. The majority of readers on lit WANT spoilers. They just do. They're not here for your plot. They want to be hit over the head with the kink that they're into and they would rather have you spoil it and tell them exactly what they are getting than to get surprised by something that they don't like. They're not here for a new experience. They're here to feed an addiction.

However, those readers are kink-based and really don't care about plot. That's why they don't care about plot spoilers. If you are writing a plot oriented story the plot readers don't want plot spoilers. However, most of the plot readers DO still want kink spoilers, so option 2 is usually the best.

However, you also have to keep in mind your title. If your title is arty and/or vague it is best to use a description line that is more direct. If your title is already direct, you can get more arty with the description, or get even more specific.

Sunday Drive ( <- vague title)
Riding in the backseat with Mom. ( <- direct description)

Mom in my Lap in the Backseat ( <- direct title)
Mom mounts on while Dad drives. ( <- even more specific description)

Family Ride ( <- sorta vague title)
How will Mon and Son get away with this? ( <- hints at but does not spoil plot)

And there are many variations of these. I came up with these quite quickly obviously. The important thing is that your title and description work together. What you want to avoid is this:

Sunday Drive
Mom and Son go for a Sunday Drive.

Description is redundant. It says not much more than the title does. You only have 35 chars for title and 60 for tagline to grab attention. Don't waste any of them like this.

 

[RejectReality]

One thing that's helpful on the final chapter is to have the description plainly indicate that it's the final chapter. A lot of people won't even start a story that isn't yet posted in full. Seeing the last chapter with a description that says "Finale" or "Epilogue" or something encourages people to check out the first one who might not otherwise.

 

[SimonDoom]

However, you also have to keep in mind your title. If your title is arty and/or vague it is best to use a description line that is more direct. If your title is already direct, you can get more arty with the description, or get even more specific.

Sunday Drive ( <- vague title)
Riding in the backseat with Mom. ( <- direct description)

Mom in my Lap in the Backseat ( <- direct title)
Mom mounts on while Dad drives. ( <- even more specific description)

Family Ride ( <- sorta vague title)
How will Mon and Son get away with this? ( <- hints at but does not spoil plot)

And there are many variations of these. I came up with these quite quickly obviously. The important thing is that your title and description work together. What you want to avoid is this:

This is exactly the way I think about this, and these are useful examples.

The title and the tagline should work together to pique maximum interest in the potential reader.

I like to make the tagline a squeeze, sometimes turning the tagline into a question (like PSG's third example) or ending with an ellipsis, teasing the reader that something fun but unknown is to come.

With respect to the first example above, I'd turn it into an active sentence to give it a bit more punch: Mom rides in the backseat with me, and . . .

Something like that.

 

[TheLobster]

I've seen many series that simply repeat the description of chapter 1 through every subsequent one. To me, this is a sign of laziness and stifled creativity, but I understand that avoiding spoilers may be a good motivation for doing it.

The counterpoint to that is the universal understanding that things happen in stories (gasp!). If your first chapter is 20k words and there significant developments in there, after five more such chapters it's quite likely that the story might be almost unrecognizable at that point (but hopefully in a good way).

As such, I don't think it's actually all that spoiler-y for readers still at ch. 2 to accidentally glance at ch. 10 and see its description that reads, "At long last, <character that hasn't been introduced yet> faces <villian that hasn't been mentioned>". It might even work as further enticement to read on, hinting at the yet-unknown marvels and delights that await to those who persevere.

 

[SinclairGroupLLP]

I try to give enough of a preview that it tells people what's happening and tries to drag them in, but nothing too spoilerish. The deeper into a series we go, I use character names that folks who are reading will get. This may turn off some folks, but that's fine - I'm trying to tell a story and don't want to cater to Donnie, wandering into the middle of a movie like a child, asking...

Essentially, I've always treated the short description kind of like it's a clickbait headline.

 

[TheLobster]

Essentially, I've always treated the short description kind of like it's a clickbait headline.

Ten Things To Do On a Family Trip -- #7 Will Shock You!

 

[Need_a_bedtime_story]

Your thinking is short term, geared around your chapter release rate. In six months or twelve months that's irrelevant, because the whole thing is out there, and can be read just like any book - sequentially, with no pause between chapters.

Why don't you let readers read each chapter without authorial guidance? I'm sure they can manage that by themselves.

I don't think there's anything wrong with advertising your story the best you can. You can have banger story not do well when you don't pay attention to some details.

What is a long term success strategy you can think of except for having written a good story?

 

[Need_a_bedtime_story]

There are many ways to write your description depending on different factors.

1 ~ Do you tell them something arty and sensual?
2 ~ Do you tell them something more direct and kink-based?
3 ~ Do you give straight up spoilers?

For most readers, you want to just tell them flat out what they are getting. The majority of readers on lit WANT spoilers. They just do. They're not here for your plot. They want to be hit over the head with the kink that they're into and they would rather have you spoil it and tell them exactly what they are getting than to get surprised by something that they don't like. They're not here for a new experience. They're here to feed an addiction.

However, those readers are kink-based and really don't care about plot. That's why they don't care about plot spoilers. If you are writing a plot oriented story the plot readers don't want plot spoilers. However, most of the plot readers DO still want kink spoilers, so option 2 is usually the best.

However, you also have to keep in mind your title. If your title is arty and/or vague it is best to use a description line that is more direct. If your title is already direct, you can get more arty with the description, or get even more specific.

Sunday Drive ( <- vague title)
Riding in the backseat with Mom. ( <- direct description)

Mom in my Lap in the Backseat ( <- direct title)
Mom mounts on while Dad drives. ( <- even more specific description)

Family Ride ( <- sorta vague title)
How will Mon and Son get away with this? ( <- hints at but does not spoil plot)

And there are many variations of these. I came up with these quite quickly obviously. The important thing is that your title and description work together. What you want to avoid is this:

Sunday Drive
Mom and Son go for a Sunday Drive.

Description is redundant. It says not much more than the title does. You only have 35 chars for title and 60 for tagline to grab attention. Don't waste any of them like this.

Those are some great examples! Thank you. I think I will indeed go for a more attention grabbing description rather than a summary like others have also mentioned.

 

[Need_a_bedtime_story]

I've seen many series that simply repeat the description of chapter 1 through every subsequent one. To me, this is a sign of laziness and stifled creativity, but I understand that avoiding spoilers may be a good motivation for doing it.

The counterpoint to that is the universal understanding that things happen in stories (gasp!). If your first chapter is 20k words and there significant developments in there, after five more such chapters it's quite likely that the story might be almost unrecognizable at that point (but hopefully in a good way).

As such, I don't think it's actually all that spoiler-y for readers still at ch. 2 to accidentally glance at ch. 10 and see its description that reads, "At long last, <character that hasn't been introduced yet> faces <villian that hasn't been mentioned>". It might even work as further enticement to read on, hinting at the yet-unknown marvels and delights that await to those who persevere.

That is a good point. Although I've seen that mentioning names in the description doesn't really draw people. You're better off describing them. For example instead of "Kelly learns to..." you'd do "Attractive lawyer learns she..."

 

[Need_a_bedtime_story]

I try to give enough of a preview that it tells people what's happening and tries to drag them in, but nothing too spoilerish. The deeper into a series we go, I use character names that folks who are reading will get. This may turn off some folks, but that's fine - I'm trying to tell a story and don't want to cater to Donnie, wandering into the middle of a movie like a child, asking...

Essentially, I've always treated the short description kind of like it's a clickbait headline.

I'm thinking of doing the same thing but I'm still a bit iffy on the name thing! I've heard it does have some effect and I have experienced it myself where a description of the character will draw me more than a name.

 

[THBGato]

I sometimes outline the inciting incident e.g. "Misgendering in Madrid causes sparks to fly during flamenco." or the genre e.g. "New planet, same old patriarchy: lesbian love is hard." (when the story could have gone in more than one category). I often give clues about the setting (see above).

Other times though, I am deliberately obtuse e.g. "The best laid schemes o' dyke and friend, gang aft agley." because I'm in a weird mood at the time.

 

[SinclairGroupLLP]

I'm thinking of doing the same thing but I'm still a bit iffy on the name thing! I've heard it does have some effect and I have experienced it myself where a description of the character will draw me more than a name.

So, I did that in my first chapter - referred to the MC as "college student." But every reference after that was to "Jack" since he was introduced, and it seemed weird if I kept saying "College student" instead of his name. YMMV, but I don't think it takes too much away, although I can get where you're coming from.

If it was anything but a chaptered story, I'd go with what you're suggesting. Be vague for the first one, but I don't think the vagueness gets you much if you keep it going too long.

 

[ElectricBlue]

What is a long term success strategy you can think of except for having written a good story?

I was going to say that, but people would have interpreted that to mean your story wasn't good. But I've not read it, so I don't know.

My comment still stands - why is a chapter here any different to a chapter in a printed book? Other than the fact that your story might not be finished yet - and there's many an unfinished story here on Lit. Which is the downside of publishing a story as you write it, rather than finishing it first.

 

[NotWise]

The best advice I've gotten on writing short descriptions came from @yukonnights, who said the short description should contain the major elements of the story. I've had varying success with it, but that's a problem with execution, not with concept. The best is probably

My Sister's Wedding
Old traditions, broken vows, and dirty little thrills

In my longest chaptered story my short descriptions were summaries of the content, and I don't think it worked very well. They were only meaningful to somebody who had already read the story to that point, so the short descriptions on later chapters did nothing to pull in new readers.

 

[Need_a_bedtime_story]

I was going to say that, but people would have interpreted that to mean your story wasn't good. But I've not read it, so I don't know.

My comment still stands - why is a chapter here any different to a chapter in a printed book? Other than the fact that your story might not be finished yet - and there's many an unfinished story here on Lit. Which is the downside of publishing a story as you write it, rather than finishing it first.

A printed book has a cover you can decorate, a synopsis on the back and pages you can scroll through before deciding on it. In addition there will be reviews and recommendations on the internet. It's all marketing. That's how you sell a printed book in a store.

For a lit story? We get votes, favorites, tags, popular boards, a short description, ect. That's the equivalent and to a certain degree marketing. That's how you "sell" a story on lit.

If you don't care to consider these things, you do you. But it most certainly makes a difference and for me it's important to educate myself on how to give my story the best chance with the tools I am handed.

 

[RejectReality]

On a multi-chapter story, you're really only going to sell new people on the first five chapters or so. Once it gets beyond that, you're looking at only the odd person who hasn't seen the previous five pop up in the new list who are going to pay attention to it at all. From there on out, you're trying to excite those already hooked, and keep them engaged. You can be a lot more "inside baseball" with character names rather than enticing descriptions of them, and things like that. You're selling to a specific, limited audience, so shift your perception a little. Using a character name can save you space, letting you put more into the description line for the people you're targeting.

Now, if your story is primarily sex with just a little connective story, that's a different animal. If there's new people, new positions, new exciting places, etc. then call it out in as enticing of a way as you can. If the bulk of the story is sex, and someone could treat it as stroke material without scrolling through a lot of story, then lean into it. You're still going to have the issue of anyone not already on the line ignoring higher chapter numbers, but you'll get a few more and potentially hook them if there's new fantasies to enjoy in every chapter.

Always call out the sex with the tags. If there's a genre like fantasy, call out magic, monsters, etc. if you still have tags left. After a certain point, a lot of your views are going to come from that. The tags portal is one of the highest traffic subdomains of the site after the main domain. A lot of people are using that to find stories.

If you're writing a multi-part story, the new series function provides you with a nice, long description box for the entire series. If you use that instead of the automated series generated by just submitting with chapter numbers, that's something to take advantage of. It's not very prominently featured right now, but that's planned to change in the future as more of the site shifts from listing individual chapters to highlighting the series as a whole.

 

[Need_a_bedtime_story]

On a multi-chapter story, you're really only going to sell new people on the first five chapters or so. Once it gets beyond that, you're looking at only the odd person who hasn't seen the previous five pop up in the new list who are going to pay attention to it at all. From there on out, you're trying to excite those already hooked, and keep them engaged. You can be a lot more "inside baseball" with character names rather than enticing descriptions of them, and things like that. You're selling to a specific, limited audience, so shift your perception a little. Using a character name can save you space, letting you put more into the description line for the people you're targeting.

Now, if your story is primarily sex with just a little connective story, that's a different animal. If there's new people, new positions, new exciting places, etc. then call it out in as enticing of a way as you can. If the bulk of the story is sex, and someone could treat it as stroke material without scrolling through a lot of story, then lean into it. You're still going to have the issue of anyone not already on the line ignoring higher chapter numbers, but you'll get a few more and potentially hook them if there's new fantasies to enjoy in every chapter.

Always call out the sex with the tags. If there's a genre like fantasy, call out magic, monsters, etc. if you still have tags left. After a certain point, a lot of your views are going to come from that. The tags portal is one of the highest traffic subdomains of the site after the main domain. A lot of people are using that to find stories.

If you're writing a multi-part story, the new series function provides you with a nice, long description box for the entire series. If you use that instead of the automated series generated by just submitting with chapter numbers, that's something to take advantage of. It's not very prominently featured right now, but that's planned to change in the future as more of the site shifts from listing individual chapters to highlighting the series as a whole.

That is very detailed and helpful, thank you!

I was considering using "he" and "she" after describing them for the first chapter as it saves me even more space. Especially since my story is in an alternate universe and the names are made up, thus not directly giving away their gender.

I'd say the story is 50% sex and 50% plot for each chapter with equal importance, so 5K words each. The sex scenes have new elements and are different from each other in every chapter, but always between the same two people. The plot has many twists and is quite thick. Alternate universe, fantasy, crime, mystery, romance, ect.

I assume that sex draws more people in but I also feel like I would do my story a disservice if I left my plot out the short description completely. I might have to find a way to combine them!

 

[ElectricBlue]

If you don't care to consider these things, you do you. But it most certainly makes a difference and for me it's important to educate myself on how to give my story the best chance with the tools I am handed.

To be honest, when you said "summary" in your opening post, I thought you were on about that, literally - providing a very brief synopsis for each chapter, at the top. Now I see that you're talking about the sub-title description, which in my mind was something else.

You've only got sixty or something characters in that field, so that's a quick descriptive hook, not a summary as such. We've been at cross purposes, I reckon .

 

[Need_a_bedtime_story]

To be honest, when you said "summary" in your opening post, I thought you were on about that, literally - providing a very brief synopsis for each chapter, at the top. Now I see that you're talking about the sub-title description, which in my mind was something else.

You've only got sixty or something characters in that field, so that's a quick descriptive hook, not a summary as such. We've been at cross purposes, I reckon .

Ah I see. Yeah, that's not what I mean. I agree that would have been weird.

But damn that 60 character limit does test me!

 

[Voboy]

There's no rule. I ask myself, "what kind of blurb would get ME to click on that story?"

Then that's the blurb I write. If the main kink isn't obvious from the title, or if it differs from the category, I try to hint at that.

 

[Candy_Kane54]

I like to use song lyrics for titles so sometimes I quote the next line in the summary.

For example:

Title: I Fought the Law ...
Summary: ...and the law won ... my heart.

Title: If I Never Knew Your Name
Summary: I'd love you just the same.