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Would you sleep with a married person?

perhaps my most passionate relationship of the last thirty years was with a married(to someone else) woman. And her husband I considered (and STILL consider) a friend and a person I had no desire to hurt. The plain fact was that he encouraged his wife's sense of playfulness and her intense libido, but then turned around and expected to be able to direct where that libido focused. that is, in my opinion, a fool's errand. Especially since his primary focus in trying to enhance and expand her libido was to try and get her to bring other women into their bed. in my analysis, this meant he was sending two messages that complimented each other but didn't work to the advantage of what he wanted. ONE: It's a very big positive for her to be horny almost all the time and TWO: it's perfectly fine and even desireable for her to look to satisfy those urges outside the confines of the current relationship. He KNEW, perhaps better than anyone, that his wife was the epitome of bisexual. She developed desires for people completely independent of their gender. This means that increasing her libido AND encouraging her to look for outside partners was just as likely to create a new man she was interested in as a new woman, let alone a woman that would then agree to play with HIM.

I consider myself extremely blessed that her libido ended up focusing on ME. It was less of a blessing for him in some ways, but a good thing in another. I was a release valve of sorts for (I'll use her Lit name) Biplaymate420. And since she was extremely attractive and extremely passionate, this became a wonderful thing for me. Especially because she had no interest in pulling me away from my wife, she just wanted to play with me in my "extra time." Similarly, I had no interest in breaking up her and her husband. It would have hurt them both and they were both friends, and I didn't want to see my friends hurt.

Since her death, I have slowly come to believe that he knew of our sexual relationship the whole time, and silently accepted it because he knew I genuinely cared for her and would not deliberately do anything to hurt her, including things that would in the process hurt him. At the very least, he was well aware that we desired each other and the possibility of sex was always there. If he would have forced a "choice" on BP420, she would have chosen him. But it would have hurt her. I think he knew this, and eventually came to the conclusion that he was better off with me as her lover than he would likely to be with someone else... and that if I were out of the picture, someone else would definitely be brought into it. someone who might not be as "considerate" of her current marriage.

I know he knew I loved her. If nothing else, the way he treated me in the wake of her passing proved this. We continue to be friends, with the knowledge that we've both lost the person who linked us in the first place.

In truth, she may have been the person I have loved the most in this life. There is a picture of her by my right hand at this very moment, and I cannot seriously imagine a day that would not be better if blessed with her presence. I still love her.
 
Lowkey, it does make me feel a little excited, not gonna lie—having a married man talk to my wife. But wouldn’t that make things more complicated? And are married men really okay with talking to another married woman? How would that even work?
 
artgorden said:
A married man who's wife would never suck his dick. If he would bring it up it would lead to a week long argument. We got drunk one night and I gave him some good head. We're both married, I really liked his dick, and he liked my head. We would hook up to watch a game at a local bar and the night would always end with him cumming in my mouth.
Click to expand...
That sounds like the perfect solution to the problem...
 
I am 75 years old, with a body count of 33. 14 of those have been married women. A married woman in play is one of God's greatest gifts.
 
Maboater0318 said:
Married guys are great you don’t have to be concerned with them getting attached, wanting to marry you or an other type of commitment. They are also usually pretty great in bed because they know how to satisfy their wives.
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Except when they get attached…
There are men who leaves their wives for their lovers.
Depending on which studies you look at, conservatively 20% of married men cheat and 5% of married men leave their wives for a lover, so your changes are at least 1 in 4 that the guy will get attached.
 
Maboater0318 said:
Married guys are great you don’t have to be concerned with them getting attached, wanting to marry you or an other type of commitment. They are also usually pretty great in bed because they know how to satisfy their wives.
Click to expand...
This is exactly why I love married women. They’re also great because they aren’t getting what they need at home, and I’ll give them whatever they want. Then they’re puddy in my hands.
 
Noor said:
Except when they get attached…
There are men who leaves their wives for their lovers.
Depending on which studies you look at, conservatively 20% of married men cheat and 5% of married men leave their wives for a lover, so your changes are at least 1 in 4 that the guy will get attached.
Click to expand...
I don’t think you can put those numbers together like that. It would only work if each cheater only cheated with one person. Or if you were guaranteed to be “the one,” among the various people one of those 5% guys cheats with.
 
Britva415 said:
I don’t think you can put those numbers together like that. It would only work if each cheater only cheated with one person. Or if you were guaranteed to be “the one,” among the various people one of those 5% guys cheats with.
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I’m assuming that the ones who get attached are not habitual cheaters, but are cheating “for love”
 
Noor said:
I’m assuming that the ones who get attached are not habitual cheaters, but are cheating “for love”
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That's not evidence of anything, though, it's just an assumption. One can just as easily assume that nobody* "cheats for love" and it's a surprise when they catch feelings for their bootycall.

* nobody at all, anywhere, ever

Of course that's ridiculous and I'm sure the truth is that everyone's different and the average is somewhere in between your assumption and my assumption.
 
Britva415 said:
That's not evidence of anything, though, it's just an assumption. One can just as easily assume that nobody* "cheats for love" and it's a surprise when they catch feelings for their bootycall.

* nobody at all, anywhere, ever

Of course that's ridiculous and I'm sure the truth is that everyone's different and the average is somewhere in between your assumption and my assumption.
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Well that’s where the average usually is.
There are guys here on lit that have cheated for love, fell in love first before cheating, so they do exist.
Maybe they will come out of the woodwork and talk about it.
Almost none of them ended up long term with the love they cheated with though. It’s usually older guys who fall into this, possibly those with little experience dating before marriage.
 
Noor said:
Well that’s where the average usually is.
There are guys here on lit that have cheated for love, fell in love first before cheating, so they do exist.
Maybe they will come out of the woodwork and talk about it.
Almost none of them ended up long term with the love they cheated with though. It’s usually older guys who fall into this, possibly those with little experience dating before marriage.
Click to expand...
As someone with limited experience before marriage, I will admit that it is an itch. I wont scratch it real life, but there are fantasies in that direction.
 
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