Comments that leave you shaking your head

[WordsIntheWyld]

I’ve seen some ridiculous comments about my fictional stories. One person basically said, “This would never happen in real life,” as if dragons, time travel, and perfect Wi-Fi signals in deep space were all totally reasonable, but my plot twist was where they drew the line.

 

[Actingup]

This comment was posted on my latest story, "Cheated Wives' Club" yesterday:
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by Anonymous user on 16 hours ago

It always makes me laugh to see a man write a female character.
It's so irrelevant.
We don't use the same cerebral hemispheres.
Our ways of thinking are so different.
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This comment was posted on Cagivagurl's story "Cheating Does It Spell The End Or..." yesterday:
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Anonymous about 16 hours ago
It always makes me laugh to see a woman write a mâle character.

It's so irrelevant.

We don't use the same cerebral hemispheres.

Our ways of thinking are so different.
*********************************

I wonder how many other stories received the comment, and whether I should be jealous for not deserving the extra line breaks.

Wait until they find out that you’re a woman pretending to be a man….

 

[Publius68]

...

I wonder how many other stories received the comment, and whether I should be jealous for not deserving the extra line breaks.

All your questions will be answered in Anonny’s forthcoming book Men Are From Mars, Women Need Space...

 

[WordsIntheWyld]

One recent comment baffled me: the location used in one of my stories and the fact that I didn't get the layout of the interior or exterior correct. My bad; I should have taken the time to get the architectural drawings before using that namespace.

 

[Actingup]

One recent comment baffled me: the location used in one of my stories and the fact that I didn't get the layout of the interior or exterior correct. My bad; I should have taken the time to get the architectural drawings before using that namespace.

If it was Westminster Abbey or Stonehenge, I'm potentially on their side. If it was a random Holiday Inn though...

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I've had a comment saying I need to use the word "cunt" more often.

I don't really like that word at all.

 

[karina_jayde]

I've had a comment saying I need to use the word "cunt" more often.

I don't really like that word at all.

Lol, that really is a baffling request. Usually I see the opposite (people complaining about the usage of it), rather than asking for *more*

 

[Actingup]

I've had a comment saying I need to use the word "cunt" more often.

I don't really like that word at all.

I think you can tell them to stick that suggestion where the sun doesn't shine....!

 

[Bazzle]

Anonymous has started reading too much Shakespeare?

"To each his own, yet 'tis confounding to mine understanding, how so many fellows, possessed of a penchant for the cigarette, do not themselves indulge in its pleasures. 'Tis akin to observing others of the bath whilst ne’er partaking in such cleansing, or frequenting fine establishments merely to behold others feast whilst thou art bound by a fortnight’s fast. Methinks 'tis a variant of voyeurism…"

https://www.literotica.com/s/jennifer-the-real-deal

 

[Agent0069]

A story about an awkward first time from two shy teens that barely turned 18. Comment:

Nice premise.
Why does she have to 'figure out' how to give a blowjob? She has a computer. She never watched porn? She's never masturbated to thoughts of sexy stuff with him?
He's soft when this starts. He doesn't get hard right away. She doesn't play with his cock and balls? She doesn't ask him if it feels good? Can he imagine how good it'll feel when she uses her mouth?
Nothing with her breasts? Nothing with her ass?
Four stars.

Oh no. Oh no! What have I done?! I must immediately delete my story and rewrite it to include scenes of her giving him TurboHead9000 while he slaps her ass and fondles breasts, just so I could earn the fifth star!

 

[Actingup]

Getting a heap of (mostly positive) comments on "The April Fools' New Story". One plot element is that a journo convinces her boss to run an April Fools Day prank about the hypocrisy of politicians and faith leaders preaching about public morality but having immoral private lives. I tried hard to not mention politics, but rather politicians. I kept the country it was set in as vague as I could. But of course, Mr Anon had to tell me this:

Quit about 1/4 of the way through when. you brought politics into it and lumped half of the population into a category of hypocrites, as if they are the only ones guilty of doing one thing and saying another. "All of them are having affairs." Really? What horse shit. If you want to write political shit, bot somewhere else. But leave it out of erotic stories. I can't be the only one who thinks this way since after 17 stories you have a whopping 251 followers.

Ah well. At least he didn't have to read the remaining 5000 words after the ONE paragraph that mentioned politicians that he read. And it's 266 followers tonight, thank you very much.

 

[Publius68]

I've had a comment saying I need to use the word "cunt" more often.

I don't really like that word at all.

Even when writing smut, I shy away from that word. Hard. Above all other profanity, I feel like there needs to be some very specific, probably troubling, reason for using it.

 

[onehitwanda]

Even when writing smut, I shy away from that word. Hard. Above all other profanity, I feel like there needs to be some very specific, probably troubling, reason for using it.

I don't particularly like the word; it's a vulgar word, but it has its uses... particularly when referring to certain politicians.

That said, around here it's practically "hello".

 

[Bazzle]

I don't particularly like the word; it's a vulgar word, but it has its uses... particularly when referring to certain politicians.

That said, around here it's practically "hello".

Can't a character trump in peace any more ;P

 

[StillStunned]

That said, around here it's practically "hello".

 

[TheLobster]

Oh no. Oh no! What have I done?! I must immediately delete my story and rewrite it to include scenes of her giving him TurboHead9000 while he slaps her ass and fondles breasts, just so I could earn the fifth star!

Exactly! Glad we cleared that up. Next time, you will think twice about writing and especially posting an actually realistic sex story!

 

[onehitwanda]

Can't a character trump in peace any more ;P

not without opening the windows for the rest of us, no.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Oh no. Oh no! What have I done?! I must immediately delete my story and rewrite it to include scenes of her giving him TurboHead9000 while he slaps her ass and fondles breasts, just so I could earn the fifth star!

You didn't provide the unicorn. What did you expect? (shrug)

 

[Actingup]

"You have no idea what you’re doing. No part of you possesses the requisite skill to create memorable, developed characters and the important chemistry between them. All of your dialogue is as stiff as a board and you did a terrible job conceptualising the story. You’re a lazy writer and you’d rather crank out material like this in a couple of sittings than spend a few minutes performing the research that would’ve added some realism, credibility and quality. That’s why it doesn’t matter that your beta reader didn’t actually do their job and read this before you published it because, when your skill set is so lacking, you’ve got a mountain to climb to even make it into the middle of the pack.
This was garbage and I’m exhausted after enduring every word of it."

An extract from Stacnash's 1200 word 'Review' of An April Fools' News Story. Since the story has been overall very well received for Loving Wives and after 36 hours has more votes (~1450) than any of my other stories, I'm okay with taking her comments with a grain of salt... there's really very little constructive criticism in there. I've published a fair bit academically and have a reasonably thick skin. I've had 'revenge reviews', where peer reviewers have tried to sink my papers because I'd been critical of them, and I've had direct personal attacks designed to undermine my career. But heaven help any sensitive souls who would really like some helpful and supportive feedback and then get hit by a bully like that.

 

[YmaOHyd]

I really wish Stacnash would publish something in Essays and Reviews outlining her reviewing philosophy and her critical analysis process. I think that'd be really fascinating.

 

[Actingup]

I really wish Stacnash would publish something in Essays and Reviews outlining her reviewing philosophy and her critical analysis process. I think that'd be really fascinating.

Or scary...

One of the subsequent comments was: "UNIQUE! Loved it. All the stars I can muster. I forgive minor slips. Who is this stacnash weirdo? Is it HarryinVA reborn?"

I found this reference to HarryinVA from 2013. It doesn't sound like the same person.

 

[YmaOHyd]

Or scary...

One of the subsequent comments was: "UNIQUE! Loved it. All the stars I can muster. I forgive minor slips. Who is this stacnash weirdo? Is it HarryinVA reborn?"

I found this reference to HarryinVA from 2013. It doesn't sound like the same person.

No, it doesn't.

Stacnash reminds me a bit of Armond White, the semi-legendary gay Black conservative film critic for Out and The National Review. Find me two more different publications -- oh wait, he also wrote for First Things and The Nation. White has a philosophy of cinema, but it's so idiosyncratic that it's nearly impossible for anyone else to parse.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Even when writing smut, I shy away from that word. Hard. Above all other profanity, I feel like there needs to be some very specific, probably troubling, reason for using it.

I suspect you have some cultural baggage with that comment. Don't ever visit Australia, if you're that delicate .

 

[Actingup]

I suspect you have some cultural baggage with that comment. Don't ever visit Australia, if you're that delicate .

Even in Australia, there's a time and a place. It's just that the time is more frequent and the places more widespread.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I really wish Stacnash would publish something in Essays and Reviews outlining her reviewing philosophy and her critical analysis process. I think that'd be really fascinating.

I'd like her to put her money where her mouth is, and publish some erotica of her own.

Idiosyncratic to say the least, definitely a curiosity. She reviewed one of my stories, favourably, and I exchanged a few PMs, quizzing what it was all for. I came away none the wiser as to the purpose of the ranking tables. I got the sense there was some secret order of quaintly puritanical librarian types, casting aspersions on our aspirations. Very odd.