Comments that leave you shaking your head

[Lumiere_Amie]

Oh, look, my first troll!

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Welcome to the club! This one couldn't be bothered to comment on your work! Knuckle-dragger extraordinaire!

 

[karina_jayde]

Seriously, I would loooove such heavy detailed critique, positive or negative. Any writer should.

Yeah, I got my first stacnash review the other day, and while it was a negative review, it definitely provided constructive feedback that I'll take into account the next time I try my hand at a similar story.

While I certainly appreciate the usual vague praise comments, something actionable and constructive is going to be far more valuable in terms of improving my work.

 

[TheLobster]

Oh, look, my first troll! It only took 9 months to happen.

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Instructions unclear. I put a paper bag over my head but it didn’t make me any thinner.

 

[Actingup]

Instructions unclear. I put a paper bag over my head but it didn’t make me any thinner.

I can't help feeling that the poster doesn't really understand anatomy or the act in question.

 

[ICantLeafYou]

I can't help feeling that the poster doesn't really understand anatomy or the act in question.

The story they commented on was about a blowjob in a cafe bathroom. While the story is fiction, the cafe itself exists. I'd recently posted a pic of myself here on the forums showing my tits in that cafe's bathroom and the troll thought it would be fun to go to the story and deal that devastating blow that has definitely ruined my life.

 

[Actingup]

The story they commented on was about a blowjob in a cafe bathroom. While the story is fiction, the cafe itself exists. I'd recently posted a pic of myself here on the forums showing my tits in that cafe's bathroom and the troll thought it would be fun to go to the story and deal that devastating blow that has definitely ruined my life.

Thanks for the background! Given that it’s a real-life bathroom, perhaps it could be set up as a liaison point for non-trolls that have 1) a life and 2) an appreciation for giving and receiving. While the trolls go and play in the car park or something.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Thanks for the background! Given that it’s a real-life bathroom, perhaps it could be set up as a liaison point for non-trolls that have 1) a life and 2) an appreciation for giving and receiving. While the trolls go and play in the car park or something.

I'd infer the 'or something' to be the street. not that I want anyone to get hurt or anything. That would be inn appropriate.

 

[Actingup]

I'd infer the 'or something' to be the street. not that I want anyone to get hurt or anything. That would be inn appropriate.

The DMZ perhaps. Nothing much happens there. They should be fine.

 

[onehitwanda]

Author, your earlier works are TOO PREDICTABLE, the identical formula over and over. Perhaps that is why you switched to Lesbian stories, a new crowd for the same formula, I don't read "Lezzie" stuff, so I won't know.

One of the choice lines of a recent rant on a story that's... shit, it's seven years old now. What the fuck?!

 

[PennyThompson]

So this is a new one for me, more amusing than upsetting! My latest story is a little stand-alone piece, something that poured out of my brain over a single night, so I edited and submitted it the next morning. It's gotten pretty good reviews overall, but it also got these two comments from different users:

Please get back to the Adventures of Penny Thompson series. These other stories have been lacking in comparison.

This was ok, but I am still waiting for you to finish your other story of Austin and Blue lost in space getting fired upon when they came out of jump into someone's battle.

On the one hand it's kind of flattering that people are so invested in my ongoing series, that's awfully sweet!

On the other hand, I'll get to em when I get to em, and I'm going to write what gives me pleasure and then I'm going to post the finished products on this free site which is free where you can read them for free

 

[Actingup]

One of the choice lines of a recent rant on a story that's... shit, it's seven years old now. What the fuck?!

Clearly, he's spruiking for new stories to edit. Hetro and aggressive only, of course.

He speared into her, thrustily. Her breasts wobbled like giant watermelons as she felt all of his twelve inches.
"That's a foot long!" she gasped. "It wouldn't sound nearly as impressive in Metric!"
"Metric," he snarled. "Metric is for pussies."

Sorry.... my mind wandered. Perhaps I'll send him something.

 

[PennyThompson]

Clearly, he's spruiking for new stories to edit. Hetro and aggressive only, of course.

He speared into her, thrustily. Her breasts wobbled like giant watermelons as she felt all of his twelve inches.
"That's a foot long!" she gasped. "It wouldn't sound nearly as impressive in Metric!"
"Metric," he snarled. "Metric is for pussies."

Sorry.... my mind wandered. Perhaps I'll send him something.

Take it to the Bulwer-Lytton thread before you make this one burst into flames

 

[Actingup]

Take it to the Bulwer-Lytton thread before you make this one burst into flames

There's a Bulwer-Lytton thread? I'm in....

 

[PennyThompson]

There's a Bulwer-Lytton thread? I'm in....

There is!! I've got a couple entries in there myself

 

[Publius68]

There is!! I've got a couple entries in there myself

Rushing there myself.
I feel like my regular prose style is almost complex enough for submission without embellishment...

 

[Orangejuicewithbits]

I had a comment that was complaining that he didn't like the story 'at all' because the characters didn't fall in love. This was not a romantic story and the POV character described himself as a 'dick who only cared about himself' within the first couple of lines. I do no know where this love came from or why this made them hate the story????

 

[Actingup]

I had a comment that was complaining that he didn't like the story 'at all' because the characters didn't fall in love. This was not a romantic story and the POV character described himself as a 'dick who only cared about himself' within the first couple of lines. I do no know where this love came from or why this made them hate the story????

There are all flavours of fantasists here, including those of us who dream of rational readers!

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I had a comment that was complaining that he didn't like the story 'at all' because the characters didn't fall in love. This was not a romantic story and the POV character described himself as a 'dick who only cared about himself' within the first couple of lines. I do no know where this love came from or why this made them hate the story????

And these are the people who are rating our stories, so we should totally believe that we wrote something good if we get a Red H. : P

 

[StillStunned]

An anonymous reader left this on Dungeon of Desire: Level 2:

Когда всё говорит - не ходи с группой, лгущей тебе, всегда нужно подставить задницу, под вероятную смерть.
Нужен тег 'контроль разума', если своей головой герой думать принципиально отказывается.

Which apparently means:

When he says everything - don't go with a group lying to you, you always need to put your ass under the probable death.
You need the tag 'mind control' if the hero fundamentally refuses to think with his own head.

I assume they're referring to the end scene of the chapter, but this seems to be a weird takeaway.

 

[TheLobster]

I assume they're referring to the end scene of the chapter, but this seems to be a weird takeaway.

My fourth-hand knowledge of Russian, which I can only apply after transcribing Cyrillic to Latin, suggests to me that this reader thinks your hero was too trusting from the get go. "Putting your ass on the line" is what weird rectal expression actually means.

 

[StillStunned]

My fourth-hand knowledge of Russian, which I can only apply after transcribing Cyrillic to Latin, suggests to me that this reader thinks your hero was too trusting from the get go. "Putting your ass on the line" is what weird rectal expression actually means.

But the story makes it precisely clear what the POV character is thinking, and why. Why she's on the adventure. She has no reason to mistrust anyone, at least initially.

There's no "mind control" beyond how everyone fools themselves, or does things without properly understanding why.

 

[Lifestyle66]

This comment was posted on my latest story, "Cheated Wives' Club" yesterday:
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by Anonymous user on 16 hours ago

It always makes me laugh to see a man write a female character.
It's so irrelevant.
We don't use the same cerebral hemispheres.
Our ways of thinking are so different.
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This comment was posted on Cagivagurl's story "Cheating Does It Spell The End Or..." yesterday:
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Anonymous about 16 hours ago
It always makes me laugh to see a woman write a mâle character.

It's so irrelevant.

We don't use the same cerebral hemispheres.

Our ways of thinking are so different.
*********************************

I wonder how many other stories received the comment, and whether I should be jealous for not deserving the extra line breaks.

 

[WCSGarland]

This comment was posted on my latest story, "Cheated Wives' Club" yesterday:
**********************************
by Anonymous user on 16 hours ago

It always makes me laugh to see a man write a female character.
It's so irrelevant.
We don't use the same cerebral hemispheres.
Our ways of thinking are so different.
**********************************

This comment was posted on Cagivagurl's story "Cheating Does It Spell The End Or..." yesterday:
*********************************
Anonymous about 16 hours ago
It always makes me laugh to see a woman write a mâle character.

It's so irrelevant.

We don't use the same cerebral hemispheres.

Our ways of thinking are so different.
*********************************

I wonder how many other stories received the comment, and whether I should be jealous for not deserving the extra line breaks.

The commenter probably read a book or something on how men and women think differently and they are now an expert.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

This comment was posted on my latest story, "Cheated Wives' Club" yesterday:
**********************************
by Anonymous user on 16 hours ago

It always makes me laugh to see a man write a female character.
It's so irrelevant.
We don't use the same cerebral hemispheres.
Our ways of thinking are so different.
**********************************

This comment was posted on Cagivagurl's story "Cheating Does It Spell The End Or..." yesterday:
*********************************
Anonymous about 16 hours ago
It always makes me laugh to see a woman write a mâle character.

It's so irrelevant.

We don't use the same cerebral hemispheres.

Our ways of thinking are so different.
*********************************

I wonder how many other stories received the comment, and whether I should be jealous for not deserving the extra line breaks.

AI bot?

 

[Lifestyle66]

AI bot?

I doubt it..

It's just a serial hater.