Exploring Brenda’s Bondage Obsession

[cowboyup6977]

Hey Subbies….

I have been pondering why I love being restrained. Would any of you care to share how it makes you feel? Why do you need it? What is the need? Thought?

I would also love to hear the opposite point of view as well…

For me it’s a helpless feeling like I’ve been captured
When I bound someone it’s a feeling of power and control

 

[BrendaBear]

Being able to trust someone so much that you give them complete control.
That feeling of having someone that cares about you so much that they would push you to your utmost boundary.

Your exactly right
Total trust

That is a big part of it for me, too. There is zero chance I would do anything like that with someone I wasn't already in love with and trusted them completely. And for my little fractured psyche, the knowing later on that they could have done anything to me, but they chose to only do the wonderful things I enjoy... that's like showing me they really love me. Not just saying so.

There's also my deep need to feel wanted. This person wants me there, wants to keep me there. They desire me. So important to me. That's why the joke about a woman saying "tie me up and you can do whatever you want" and he ties her up, then goes and plays his video game is just so not funny to me. I mean, I get the high level joke, as a joke. But if someone did that to me, even as a joke for just a couple minutes, I would be so hurt that it would literally be the end of the relationship. I could certainly forgive, but I'd never trust him again.

For me it’s a helpless feeling like I’ve been captured

Yeah - there's kind of a slight fear there... which is a total turn on to me. Why? I have no idea. I don't understand it, but I have felt it and it was exciting to me.

And lastly, for me, it is relinquishing my responsibilities for however long I'm restrained. Because... I am not able to do anything, so no reason to worry about it. I need that release too.

When I bound someone it’s a feeling of power and control

That makes sense. When I've been the one restraining her (it was always a woman), I don't know that I felt power or control so much as this innate need to protect and please her. To make her feel deeply loved and desired. And maybe push her a little farther than she thinks she wants to go. Not much, just a little bit. Maybe that's just because that's what I want to experience when I am the one restrained.

 

[cowboyup6977]

I like to force orgasms out of her when she’s restrained until she gets so sensitive she begs me to stop
Just a couple of more I tell her
I love the look in her eyes when she realizes I can make her cum till I want it to end not her

 

[Bisexguy70]

Okay - I want to throw this out there for everyone's input and thoughts.

But also, because @Bisexguy70 and I have a little history from a while back... when we were talking often, (and life wasn't in the way), I always saw you as a Dom to me. I knew that wasn't your total nature, but like so many have done to me, that is how I chose to see you. But that gif I posted early on, with the lady tied to the bench, and another woman in a chair watching... made me ponder being her domme... and in turn... your post makes me ponder that same theme again. Which was actually inspired by something a good friend here on Lit talked to me about a few years ago. She has since passed, but she was a huge influence on me.

Anyway... so... you never had a gag. What if you had a Dom... and he was inclined to bind you, strap you into contraptions, which you would willingly do for him. And at the same time, you were a Dom to... oh, I don't know... me.... Therefore, both you and your Dom would be mine, and basically I must follow both your orders (except I don't, because I am me and don't follow instructions well). But...

So your Dom feels you need to be taught a lesson... you are strapped into some contraption, and he sticks his dick in your mouth... but what if he then instructs me to stick your dick in my mouth? I'm doing it under orders, you are doing it because you are physically bound (which I admit, is by far my preference, thus why I made this thread)....


So.... how do you feel about that?

How do any of you feel about someone being both a subbie, and a dom/domme at the same time? The idea sounds freaking crazy hot to me.

Im comfortable playing both roles. I think some of the best doms have done the sub roles and vice versa. Its the walk a mile in my shoes and your more into the head of the other. I want to be sexually gratified a certain way and I want the sub to meet my desires. At the same time I respect their limits and would not force myself or cause an uncomfortable situation and earn their trust. In the same fashion as a sub id want to gratify my DOM in the way he or she desires. Understanding that they respect my limits and know I have the trust.

Heres another one for thought and it just occurred to me writing this response. What about imaginary shackles or restraints? Theirs been many times ive held myself in a position as if im being restrained even though there was no physical restraints in place. Sometimes in a real situation where a man has been pleasuring me and i think I place imaginary restraints to hold my body in a position as if I was restrained for real.
Im also just rambling here but I also had an idea where im restrained but im the dominate one. Obviously the only domination I could do is in the form of being verbal. I mean how hot would this be: im spread eagle on the bed, fully nude, cock at full attention. I have my sub standing by and I demand they suck my dick. The conversation goes Like this
“ Suck this dick Bitch, its not gonna suck itself. Just because im tied up doesnt give you the right to stand there and do nothing. Ah yes thats it! Suck it slow, tease it. Ok you see that butt plug on the stand, reach over and insert it into my rectum. Ah yes. That's it, lube it good. Suck me more! I didnt give you permission to stop. Just like that! Yea thats it Bitch your a good sub arent you!! Now come up hear and kiss me. I want to taste my cock on your lips. Mmmm. Now lick my hardened nipples but keep softly stroking my cock gently as you suck on them.

After a short period of time the sub turns the table and forces me to orally please them and they sit on my face. The dynamics could go both ways.
Now im so freagin hard writing and thinking about this

 

[BrendaBear]

Im comfortable playing both roles. I think some of the best doms have done the sub roles and vice versa. Its the walk a mile in my shoes and your more into the head of the other. I want to be sexually gratified a certain way and I want the sub to meet my desires. At the same time I respect their limits and would not force myself or cause an uncomfortable situation and earn their trust. In the same fashion as a sub id want to gratify my DOM in the way he or she desires. Understanding that they respect my limits and know I have the trust.

Very well put.

Here's another one for thought and it just occurred to me writing this response. What about imaginary shackles or restraints? Theirs been many times I've held myself in a position as if I'm being restrained even though there was no physical restraints in place. Sometimes in a real situation where a man has been pleasuring me and i think I place imaginary restraints to hold my body in a position as if I was restrained for real.

Wow... I hadn't thought about that in a long time, but I did that for years because my lover wasn't into bondage even slightly. But it had to be there for me, even if just in my mind. That's wild I had forgotten about that.... it's been quite a while for me.

Im also just rambling here but I also had an idea where im restrained but im the dominate one. Obviously the only domination I could do is in the form of being verbal. I mean how hot would this be: im spread eagle on the bed, fully nude, cock at full attention. I have my sub standing by and I demand they suck my dick. The conversation goes Like this
“ Suck this dick Bitch, its not gonna suck itself. Just because im tied up doesnt give you the right to stand there and do nothing. Ah yes thats it! Suck it slow, tease it. Ok you see that butt plug on the stand, reach over and insert it into my rectum. Ah yes. That's it, lube it good. Suck me more! I didnt give you permission to stop. Just like that! Yea thats it Bitch your a good sub arent you!! Now come up hear and kiss me. I want to taste my cock on your lips. Mmmm. Now lick my hardened nipples but keep softly stroking my cock gently as you suck on them.

After a short period of time the sub turns the table and forces me to orally please them and they sit on my face. The dynamics could go both ways.

That's an interesting dynamic. I have pondered a third person, Dom over both other two being the one barking out orders... but with just two people... interesting.

Now im so freagin hard writing and thinking about this

Good.

 

[CX726577]

That is a big part of it for me, too. There is zero chance I would do anything like that with someone I wasn't already in love with and trusted them completely. And for my little fractured psyche, the knowing later on that they could have done anything to me, but they chose to only do the wonderful things I enjoy... that's like showing me they really love me. Not just saying so.

There's also my deep need to feel wanted. This person wants me there, wants to keep me there. They desire me. So important to me. That's why the joke about a woman saying "tie me up and you can do whatever you want" and he ties her up, then goes and plays his video game is just so not funny to me. I mean, I get the high level joke, as a joke. But if someone did that to me, even as a joke for just a couple minutes, I would be so hurt that it would literally be the end of the relationship. I could certainly forgive, but I'd never trust him again.



Yeah - there's kind of a slight fear there... which is a total turn on to me. Why? I have no idea. I don't understand it, but I have felt it and it was exciting to me.

And lastly, for me, it is relinquishing my responsibilities for however long I'm restrained. Because... I am not able to do anything, so no reason to worry about it. I need that release too.



That makes sense. When I've been the one restraining her (it was always a woman), I don't know that I felt power or control so much as this innate need to protect and please her. To make her feel deeply loved and desired. And maybe push her a little farther than she thinks she wants to go. Not much, just a little bit. Maybe that's just because that's what I want to experience when I am the one restrained.

"And maybe push her a little farther than she thinks she wants to go. Not much, just a little bit. Maybe that's just because that's what I want to experience when I am the one restrained." This 100%! Plus maybe making it as close to one of her fantasies as possible with just the two of you there. Maybe she loves the thought of being held down by several people but not really feasible to bring a group together at a given moment. She can be restrained in a way that she can close her eyes and drift into that fantasy scenario easily.

 

[BrendaBear]

So… who has some fun pics to look at and analyze why they are so hot? I suck at finding those. I get too upset by the ones that portray her in pain, and I personally don’t get why they always do photo shoots in places that look cold and miserable. Like I want to be completely immobilized in a place where a rat or bugs could easily come up and stsrt nibbling on me and I couldn’t stop them? No thanks! Not for this girl.

 

[ChasBozwell30]

Hey Subbies….

I have been pondering why I love being restrained. Would any of you care to share how it makes you feel? Why do you need it? What is the need? Thought?

I would also love to hear the opposite point of view as well…

Fascinating thread! I only wish I could play more than I have. Finding a partner is hard though. Personally I love being submissive, the anticipation and excitement that builds up over "losing" control is immense. For me it's more a mental thing than a physical one (humiliation over pain), I love the names and the mind games. It's a bit like telling someone your most secret desires and letting them have fun with them.

I always find there's a wonderful, almost euphoric, release that comes with playing. Maybe because there's so much pent up desire that needs to be explored. So much untapped pleasure...

When i was last tied down my mind just went blank. No fears. No worries. I was in such a happy space. I knew this was what i wanted and had needed. So lovely. I hope you get to play and explore more x

 

[Dreamliner]

Subscribed. Great thread B_B

 

[BrendaBear]

Subscribed. Great thread B_B

Thank you!

 

[LustyScribe]

Oh, my, what an awesome thread I've stumbled upon here! Definitely subscribing.

So far, my experience in this field is purely theoretical, as my wife of over 40 years is very much averse to it, due to trauma from childhood. Like a few others here, I think of myself as a "switch" in that certain circumstances/partners could bring out either side of me. Most of my fantasies, especially in recent years, has gravitated towards the sub side. Posts 113 & 116 depict some of my favorites. I also like the idea of being blindfolded as she/he does...whatever they want.
Being helpless and subject to the whims and desires of another is very counter to my "reality": I'm a 6'2", 290 lb, broad-shouldered & strong former football player & soldier. But when I slip into these fantasies, I can see myself submitting to women of all forms and sizes of beauty but only to men of greater strength. I'm sure Freud would have bought a season's pass to my mind!
Thanks for starting this thread, Brenda! I'm gonna sit back & eat my popcorn & enjoy the show.
(If I have your permission... )

 

[BrendaBear]

I'm wondering what kind of home made, or adapted bondage things people have made.

Anyone care to share?

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I'm wondering what kind of home made, or adapted bondage things people have made.

Anyone care to share?

Not yet, but I have lots of plans and ideas! Hopefully will start on those projects in 2026.

 

[BrendaBear]

I am pretty tall (over 6 feet), and got tired of my feet hanging off the bed, especially if I had extra pillows for reading in bed. So years ago, I built a custom headboard, which consists of a flat panel 2 foot wide (and the width of the bed), that is mounted on a frame at a 45 degree angle. It lines up exactly with the height of the mattress. So, I have pillows on there, and I can just scoot up onto it and (on the pillows) and be very comfy supported in bed for reading or watching tv….

… but it also has a few hidden metal rings in it… so I could be laying on it and have my arms spread wide, cuffed to the hooks (using a small length of chains) and completely unable to get away.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Great thread @BrendaBear. I like the idea of bed bondage.

I am a huge fan of rope bondage.

I love the look, and the control, but sometimes, what is more impressive, can be invisible bonds. Look at these two subs.

https://cdni.pornpics.com/1280/7/752/68862952/68862952_045_5a82.jpg

https://cdni.pornpics.com/1280/7/315/45214440/45214440_015_7749.jpg

No rope. No leather cuffs. No manacles. Sit and wait.

If you don't think this is discipline, try it, now. For ten minutes. On your knees, hands on your thighs. Collar and nakedness optional.

 

[BrendaBear]

Great thread @BrendaBear. I like the idea of bed bondage.

I am a huge fan of rope bondage.

I love the look, and the control, but sometimes, what is more impressive, can be invisible bonds. Look at these two subs.

https://cdni.pornpics.com/1280/7/752/68862952/68862952_045_5a82.jpg

https://cdni.pornpics.com/1280/7/315/45214440/45214440_015_7749.jpg

No rope. No leather cuffs. No manacles. Sit and wait.

If you don't think this is discipline, try it, now. For ten minutes. On your knees, hands on your thighs. Collar and nakedness optional.

I don’t think it would be easy, but… I don’t have much in the way of desire to obey. I am firmly in the “make me” camp.

Although… I would love hearing about how subbies obeying makes them feel.

No rope? No leather cuffs? No manacles? … no fun?

*** giggling away as I skip out the doorway, hoping to get chased… ***

 

[HollyS]

Great thread @BrendaBear. I like the idea of bed bondage.

I am a huge fan of rope bondage.

I love the look, and the control, but sometimes, what is more impressive, can be invisible bonds. Look at these two subs.

https://cdni.pornpics.com/1280/7/752/68862952/68862952_045_5a82.jpg

https://cdni.pornpics.com/1280/7/315/45214440/45214440_015_7749.jpg

No rope. No leather cuffs. No manacles. Sit and wait.

If you don't think this is discipline, try it, now. For ten minutes. On your knees, hands on your thighs. Collar and nakedness optional.

I find that type of submission very different in terms of the sub's experience. I'm sure it is a different set of feelings for the Dom, too.

 

[BrendaBear]

Great thread @BrendaBear. I like the idea of bed bondage.

I am a huge fan of rope bondage.

I love the look, and the control, but sometimes, what is more impressive, can be invisible bonds. Look at these two subs.

https://cdni.pornpics.com/1280/7/752/68862952/68862952_045_5a82.jpg

https://cdni.pornpics.com/1280/7/315/45214440/45214440_015_7749.jpg

No rope. No leather cuffs. No manacles. Sit and wait.

If you don't think this is discipline, try it, now. For ten minutes. On your knees, hands on your thighs. Collar and nakedness optional.

I keep thinking about this… (no shock there)… and… there is this one guy, I find myself wanting to please, however I can. I think I could probably find a great deal of personal satisfaction doing something like that purely to please him.

…and I want to say, the blonde has a serious WTF look on her face, I love that too.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

I don’t think it would be easy, but… I don’t have much in the way of desire to obey. I am firmly in the “make me” camp.

Although… I would love hearing about how subbies obeying makes them feel.

No rope? No leather cuffs? No manacles? … no fun?

*** giggling away as I skip out the doorway, hoping to get chased… ***

Then you need tight bondage. You have to be tamed, like the Brat you are.

https://cdni.pornpics.com/1280/1/336/98615707/98615707_013_a18e.jpg

 

[BrendaBear]

Then you need tight bondage. You have to be tamed, like the Brat you are.

https://cdni.pornpics.com/1280/1/336/98615707/98615707_013_a18e.jpg

Yes! You get me!

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Maybe this is a good place to start. Clothed. Seated. Unable to get up...
https://cdni.pornpics.com/1280/7/125/17341150/17341150_010_492a.jpg

It evolves into this.
https://cdni.pornpics.com/1280/7/125/17341150/17341150_049_01f4.jpg

 

[BrendaBear]

Oh my….

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

So, how about bondage devices. Say, metal?

https://cdni.pornpics.com/1280/7/139/98840059/98840059_005_4208.jpghttps://cdni.pornpics.com/1280/7/316/36374866/36374866_008_cb9c.jpghttps://cdni.pornpics.com/1280/1/340/82787053/82787053_001_99f2.jpg

 

[BrendaBear]

Okay… top one… totally kinky, but a little creepy, right? I mean, this is (to me) supposed to be fun. But if something happens she needs to be freed quickly, that one looks pretty involved… and is she having to hold all that up? Or is it holding her up?


Middle pic… bottom pic… yes please.

 

[BrendaBear]

And thank you @TANSTAAFL58 for posting those evocative images for us to explore.