Are my expectations/desires too high?

[Cheshire_cat71]

I have discovered my knack for two types of men: the one that treats me as if I have no value, will physically hurt me, or is just a plain ass and expect me to work completely around their schedule when its their circumstances that is the problem; or two, they are completely unavailable (married, in a committed relationship, they say they are single then find out they are the prior two). Today I deleted all of my hook up and dating apps (3Fun, Hinge, Match, etc.). The amount of scams on all of them is crazy - luckily I am really good at researching and can find information.

I don't feel like I am asking for a lot, but please, by all means, I am open to any advice you have to give. I want someone close to my area (DFW - can be within 100 miles), which gives us the ability to chat, message, video, and meet up. I like consistency, I am not asking for a commitment or marriage (absolutely not for several years down the road, if at all). I would love a Dom, in fact, I really need one in my life. A true Dom, one that understands that the dynamic is not to dominate me, that understands it's a negotiation, a gift I give. The amount of "red pill" guys that believe I should bow to them for no other reason than they are male, SMDH.

A man with confidence - not arrogance, one that is more interested in who I am, not what I am. A man that who can agree to disagree, is intelligent and can hold my attention as I am somewhat sapiosexual. I will not lie, physical attraction is also needed, but in no way do I believe everyone should be 6'4" 260 (I mean I wouldn't complain about it). I am in NO WAY perfect, and I really don't expect perfection, I expect the ability for growth. There is a reason a Dom is what is needed.

This information is not very succinct, and probably makes little sense, but I feel lost without a consistent sexual partner. I wouldn't care if they were attached necessary, but they would need to be in a situation where I am not a last minute decision and expected to be available at a moment's notice, or in an open relationship.

I'm a complete mess!!!
Cheshire

 

[beliefofmine]

I'm assuming your knack isn't necessarily what you're after then?

It's an interesting perspective, because I think that the internet while giving us the opportunity to connect a lot more with people has ruined relationships. Dating is hook ups. Sex is transactional. Sex work and scams everywhere, which pervert men's view of authentic women. And forces women to change to fit the new expectations.

Do you have other single people in your life that you can go out with? I feel like if you have the courage to go out to bars, you should be able to find plenty of single, willing men. My suggestion would be to approach them, maybe it's too aggressive, but what do you have to lose?

As for your knack in men, you'll just have to weed them out until you find the right person. I don't know if there's a way around that. People are rarely upfront with that type of information.

Good luck

 

[Cheshire_cat71]

I'm assuming your knack isn't necessarily what you're after then?

It's an interesting perspective, because I think that the internet while giving us the opportunity to connect a lot more with people has ruined relationships. Dating is hook ups. Sex is transactional. Sex work and scams everywhere, which pervert men's view of authentic women. And forces women to change to fit the new expectations.

Do you have other single people in your life that you can go out with? I feel like if you have the courage to go out to bars, you should be able to find plenty of single, willing men. My suggestion would be to approach them, maybe it's too aggressive, but what do you have to lose?

As for your knack in men, you'll just have to weed them out until you find the right person. I don't know if there's a way around that. People are rarely upfront with that type of information.

Good luck

No single friends at all sadly. Thank you for the insight

 

[beliefofmine]

No single friends at all sadly. Thank you for the insight

Not to make this about me, but the problem I have is the older I get the less other single people there are, and those who aren't really in a place for you to meet them.

 

[Cheshire_cat71]

Not to make this about me, but the problem I have is the older I get the less other single people there are, and those who aren't really in a place for you to meet them.

Same. And the younger men want a bucket list item checked off!

 

[Glamguy7]

I'm assuming your knack isn't necessarily what you're after then?

It's an interesting perspective, because I think that the internet while giving us the opportunity to connect a lot more with people has ruined relationships. Dating is hook ups. Sex is transactional. Sex work and scams everywhere, which pervert men's view of authentic women. And forces women to change to fit the new expectations.

Do you have other single people in your life that you can go out with? I feel like if you have the courage to go out to bars, you should be able to find plenty of single, willing men. My suggestion would be to approach them, maybe it's too aggressive, but what do you have to lose?

As for your knack in men, you'll just have to weed them out until you find the right person. I don't know if there's a way around that. People are rarely upfront with that type of information.

Good luck

Very insightful perspective! She is so so true & wise!