🫧Chloe's Curiosities Captivated🫦

[BrendaBear]

I copied this from the “What am I not wearing” thread. But that thread is mostly about silly jokes so I didn’t want to ask there.

Not wearing a cross tie in order to be groomed

@Lily13 … please forgive me, what does this mean? I read “cross tie” and am immediately wanting to know what that is…

And is this a kinky kind of groomed? My kinky brain is dying to know….

 

[Lily13]

I copied this from the “What am I not wearing” thread. But that thread is mostly about silly jokes so I didn’t want to ask there.



@Lily13 … please forgive me, what does this mean? I read “cross tie” and am immediately wanting to know what that is…

And is this a kinky kind of groomed? My kinky brain is dying to know….

Haha, just found this out myself. It’s basically for horses to keep them still while they are getting groomed or being looked at by the vet. But, I’m sure it can be used in a kinky way

 

[Chloe_Harper]

Haha, just found this out myself. It’s basically for horses to keep them still while they are getting groomed or being looked at by the vet. But, I’m sure it can be used in a kinky way

I'm sure if any pony play people pop in, they can explain all the kinky ways it has been used

 

[BrendaBear]

Haha, just found this out myself. It’s basically for horses to keep them still while they are getting groomed or being looked at by the vet. But, I’m sure it can be used in a kinky way

Oh! Thank you! After finding a pic I realized I have seen those before. I didn’t know that is what they were called.

https://www.equimade.com/wp-content/uploads/Horse-in-crossties-at-grooming-area-2048x1774.jpg

As a rope bunny, I could totally think of ways to make that kinky. No pony play required.

 

[Chloe_Harper]

As a rope bunny, I could totally think of ways to make that kinky. No pony play required.

Of course you can doesnt surprise me. At. All.

 

[TXRafe]

such great conversation going on in here this morning...while i wont respond to anyone specifically, i would like to add my experience, which is very new. while certainly not new to being called "daddy" and playing a role during playtime, i am new to the "real" bdsm world, finding myself in a dynamic that is both very much new, but very much my authentic self, as a partner at the same time. i am not one for labels or putting myself in a box, which is good, because i find myself wearing a lot of hats, that can change in an instant, whether playing or in our day to day dynamic. as has been discussed, i am definitely not a "scene" dom, which luckily for me isnt required with my partner. almost from the beginning our dynamic WAS the relationship and vice versa, giving each of us the freedom to be our true authentic selves with each other. i am her pleasure dom, her daddy, her dom, her sir, her brat tamer, her lover and her partner, shifting seamlessly between the roles depending on the situation and her needs in the moment. she is my baby, my kitten, my sub, my brat, my lover and my partner. she is always my equal, with her own voice, her own thoughts and opinions, and i do my best to advise and guide her in her decisions and actions, but they ultimately and will always be hers. i never know which of these roles she will need me to play, but she is my priority and i am always "here" to listen, to hold, to cuddle, to comfort, to pet, and to play. we have our own language, our own communication, and depending on her state of mind and current place in the spectrum those can look very different. sometimes she needs to know daddy is there for her, sometimes she needs to play and to brat, sometimes (especially when she is in her head and hesitant to share) she needs the authority figure to tell her how things are and reassure her (which requires one reply, though she is still struggling with that response at times, but it lets me know she truly understands, "yes daddy", to which she receives simply a "good girl". i believe this dynamic is very new to both of us, especially in this way, and being at the core of our relationship, but i love watching her grow into her authentic self and find her safe place within me. it is not a responsibility i take lightly. now all of this is not to say that she doesnt fill me just as much as i fill her, by allowing me to be these things for her and truly express my authentic self. all of this long windedness is simply to say that every relationship will look different and every label is a spectrum. never let anyone tell you who you are and find someone who is willing to accept and nurture all of who you are.

 

[Neanderthal247]

such great conversation going on in here this morning...while i wont respond to anyone specifically, i would like to add my experience, which is very new. while certainly not new to being called "daddy" and playing a role during playtime, i am new to the "real" bdsm world, finding myself in a dynamic that is both very much new, but very much my authentic self, as a partner at the same time. i am not one for labels or putting myself in a box, which is good, because i find myself wearing a lot of hats, that can change in an instant, whether playing or in our day to day dynamic. as has been discussed, i am definitely not a "scene" dom, which luckily for me isnt required with my partner. almost from the beginning our dynamic WAS the relationship and vice versa, giving each of us the freedom to be our true authentic selves with each other. i am her pleasure dom, her daddy, her dom, her sir, her brat tamer, her lover and her partner, shifting seamlessly between the roles depending on the situation and her needs in the moment. she is my baby, my kitten, my sub, my brat, my lover and my partner. she is always my equal, with her own voice, her own thoughts and opinions, and i do my best to advise and guide her in her decisions and actions, but they ultimately and will always be hers. i never know which of these roles she will need me to play, but she is my priority and i am always "here" to listen, to hold, to cuddle, to comfort, to pet, and to play. we have our own language, our own communication, and depending on her state of mind and current place in the spectrum those can look very different. sometimes she needs to know daddy is there for her, sometimes she needs to play and to brat, sometimes (especially when she is in her head and hesitant to share) she needs the authority figure to tell her how things are and reassure her (which requires one reply, though she is still struggling with that response at times, but it lets me know she truly understands, "yes daddy", to which she receives simply a "good girl". i believe this dynamic is very new to both of us, especially in this way, and being at the core of our relationship, but i love watching her grow into her authentic self and find her safe place within me. it is not a responsibility i take lightly. now all of this is not to say that she doesnt fill me just as much as i fill her, by allowing me to be these things for her and truly express my authentic self. all of this long windedness is simply to say that every relationship will look different and every label is a spectrum. never let anyone tell you who you are and find someone who is willing to accept and nurture all of who you are.

Treasure what you have and don't let it go, a lady's submission is a privilege to have, hold on to her for as long as possible and if you're lucky forever. It's not a dime a dozen thing to find, it's very rare to find that match.

 

[Strixaluco]

such great conversation going on in here this morning...while i wont respond to anyone specifically, i would like to add my experience, which is very new. while certainly not new to being called "daddy" and playing a role during playtime, i am new to the "real" bdsm world, finding myself in a dynamic that is both very much new, but very much my authentic self, as a partner at the same time. i am not one for labels or putting myself in a box, which is good, because i find myself wearing a lot of hats, that can change in an instant, whether playing or in our day to day dynamic. as has been discussed, i am definitely not a "scene" dom, which luckily for me isnt required with my partner. almost from the beginning our dynamic WAS the relationship and vice versa, giving each of us the freedom to be our true authentic selves with each other. i am her pleasure dom, her daddy, her dom, her sir, her brat tamer, her lover and her partner, shifting seamlessly between the roles depending on the situation and her needs in the moment. she is my baby, my kitten, my sub, my brat, my lover and my partner. she is always my equal, with her own voice, her own thoughts and opinions, and i do my best to advise and guide her in her decisions and actions, but they ultimately and will always be hers. i never know which of these roles she will need me to play, but she is my priority and i am always "here" to listen, to hold, to cuddle, to comfort, to pet, and to play. we have our own language, our own communication, and depending on her state of mind and current place in the spectrum those can look very different. sometimes she needs to know daddy is there for her, sometimes she needs to play and to brat, sometimes (especially when she is in her head and hesitant to share) she needs the authority figure to tell her how things are and reassure her (which requires one reply, though she is still struggling with that response at times, but it lets me know she truly understands, "yes daddy", to which she receives simply a "good girl". i believe this dynamic is very new to both of us, especially in this way, and being at the core of our relationship, but i love watching her grow into her authentic self and find her safe place within me. it is not a responsibility i take lightly. now all of this is not to say that she doesnt fill me just as much as i fill her, by allowing me to be these things for her and truly express my authentic self. all of this long windedness is simply to say that every relationship will look different and every label is a spectrum. never let anyone tell you who you are and find someone who is willing to accept and nurture all of who you are.

That's beautiful to read.

In my relationship we do have "sessions" - but in reality, the dynamic never really takes a break. The sessions mainly mark the application of certain specific rules (that don't fit to daily life - like needing permission to fix or change my attire or hair - can't do that when he isn't with me! ) It's not like I am able to change my attitude towards him as if turning a switch - that I learned early on, and he quickly noticed how he prefers it that way, too.

Just outside session it varies much more. Like you describe - the roles are various and it ebbs and flows according to situation.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

such great conversation going on in here this morning...while i wont respond to anyone specifically, i would like to add my experience, which is very new. while certainly not new to being called "daddy" and playing a role during playtime, i am new to the "real" bdsm world, finding myself in a dynamic that is both very much new, but very much my authentic self, as a partner at the same time. i am not one for labels or putting myself in a box, which is good, because i find myself wearing a lot of hats, that can change in an instant, whether playing or in our day to day dynamic. as has been discussed, i am definitely not a "scene" dom, which luckily for me isnt required with my partner. almost from the beginning our dynamic WAS the relationship and vice versa, giving each of us the freedom to be our true authentic selves with each other. i am her pleasure dom, her daddy, her dom, her sir, her brat tamer, her lover and her partner, shifting seamlessly between the roles depending on the situation and her needs in the moment. she is my baby, my kitten, my sub, my brat, my lover and my partner. she is always my equal, with her own voice, her own thoughts and opinions, and i do my best to advise and guide her in her decisions and actions, but they ultimately and will always be hers. i never know which of these roles she will need me to play, but she is my priority and i am always "here" to listen, to hold, to cuddle, to comfort, to pet, and to play. we have our own language, our own communication, and depending on her state of mind and current place in the spectrum those can look very different. sometimes she needs to know daddy is there for her, sometimes she needs to play and to brat, sometimes (especially when she is in her head and hesitant to share) she needs the authority figure to tell her how things are and reassure her (which requires one reply, though she is still struggling with that response at times, but it lets me know she truly understands, "yes daddy", to which she receives simply a "good girl". i believe this dynamic is very new to both of us, especially in this way, and being at the core of our relationship, but i love watching her grow into her authentic self and find her safe place within me. it is not a responsibility i take lightly. now all of this is not to say that she doesnt fill me just as much as i fill her, by allowing me to be these things for her and truly express my authentic self. all of this long windedness is simply to say that every relationship will look different and every label is a spectrum. never let anyone tell you who you are and find someone who is willing to accept and nurture all of who you are.

Rafe - I think what you just described is excellent.

That's beautiful to read.

In my relationship we do have "sessions" - but in reality, the dynamic never really takes a break. The sessions mainly mark the application of certain specific rules (that don't fit to daily life - like needing permission to fix or change my attire or hair - can't do that when he isn't with me! ) It's not like I am able to change my attitude towards him as if turning a switch - that I learned early on, and he quickly noticed how he prefers it that way, too.

Just outside session it varies much more. Like you describe - the roles are various and it ebbs and flows according to situation.

Strixaluco stole some of the words from my mouth.
For some people, they have a dynamic partner who is not their primary significant other. For some people, their significant other is their dynamic partner. I assume it is easier to keep in the "role" when the dynamic is strictly play. Not to say that a play partner isn't going to be a friend who is invested in your life and wellbeing, but they may not carry the same level of personal intimacy if their primary function is the dynamic and playing through scenes.

When the dynamic involves your significant other, the ability to ebb and flow through all of life's highs and lows. For me, for us, part of that dynamic is always there, if only right beneath the surface, but it in no way the foundation of the relationship in the "normal" parts of life; in this, we are a balance of equality with our own strengths and weaknesses.

And always, ALWAYS with the caveat that everyone's relationships look different.

I'm really enjoying the discussion on this!

 

[Strixaluco]

Not to say that a play partner isn't going to be a friend who is invested in your life and wellbeing, but they may not carry the same level of personal intimacy if their primary function is the dynamic and playing through scenes.

Intellectually I get this, and i also have no problem discussing situations like that with people.

But my little side does not get that AT ALL. It's all or nothing for me. Anything such would be... A surrogate in absence of the real thing.

 

[BrendaBear]

I'm really enjoying the discussion on this!

Me too. I find this all fascinating.

While I am not currently in a serious relationship, I find the concept of "a scene" to be unappealing to me. Simply because, I've spent most of my life being required to "be a certain way", and not allowed to just be me. Now, I value that "allowed to be me" very highly. Perhaps it's because I don't really understand what "a scene" means or maybe because I don't understand that aspect of being submissive.

In my case (and I know some of you will be shocked to hear this), I'm pretty much always a smart ass. I'm going to make jokes at any time if something strikes me as funny and I want to share it. I'm going to laugh at any time something strikes me as funny. It doesn't matter if we are in a store shopping, walking alone on the beach, or I'm completely tied up and at my must vulnerable. Perhaps that works for me because I don't mind (probably would enjoy) if I get gagged just to get me to shut up.

So, since that is my perception of what life in love is for me, I love seeing you all share about how it is for you.

Oh... I guess that in itself is a critical difference... I need to be in love.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Intellectually I get this, and i also have no problem discussing situations like that with people.

But my little side does not get that AT ALL. It's all or nothing for me. Anything such would be... A surrogate in absence of the real thing.

And it’s wonderful you’ve found someone you have that with. I’m envious.

 

[Strixaluco]

While I am not currently in a serious relationship, I find the concept of "a scene" to be unappealing to me. Simply because, I've spent most of my life being required to "be a certain way", and not allowed to just be me. Now, I value that "allowed to be me" very highly. Perhaps it's because I don't really understand what "a scene" means or maybe because I don't understand that aspect of being submissive.

What a "scene" actually means may vary. For some it's simply just the time when the dominant has the right to give commands.

As in, if you don't do as you're told then, you'll get punishment or funishment, but in other instances you won't. Or it can make a difference in how you've agreed it's ok for your partner to react to you being a smart ass - what are the limits for the use of gags?

Sure, it's still not for everyone...

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Intellectually I get this, and i also have no problem discussing situations like that with people.

But my little side does not get that AT ALL. It's all or nothing for me. Anything such would be... A surrogate in absence of the real thing.

And this is absolutely a function of personality. I could have a play partner who wasn't my partner in life. But to have it in one person? I couldn't ask for anything more.

And yes, a scene is just playtime. It has it's rules and expectations and is for a period of time. Sort of game on/game off.

 

[Strixaluco]

And this is absolutely a function of personality. I could have a play partner who wasn't my partner in life. But to have it in one person? I couldn't ask for anything more.

Before finding my partner I had thought that iI might, if I didn't find everything in one person, have a session-based relationship for a while.

But I cannot do poly. I simply cannot. And in my heart I know that if the sex is good, my feelings will get involved. And if there's no emotional attachment or potential for it, it will leave me empty, possibly even feeling dirty.

I've experienced that already when counting myself as all vanilla, more than once. There's no use in trying to bang my head in the wall.

And yes, a scene is just playtime. It has it's rules and expectations and is for a period of time. Sort of game on/game off.

And as rules and expectations vary wildly...

For many it is not when you're required to be something, but when you have the possibility to be something. For me, the time to be careless and let my Dom lead and take care of me, in a more thorough way than otherwise.

And in a more practical manner... It's the time I know I need to.... Eh, prepare myself in certain ways. A date night actually describes it rather well for me (our sessions even include dinner, sometimes staying overnight with all that it entails.)

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Before finding my partner I had thought that iI might, if I didn't find everything in one person, have a session-based relationship for a while.

But I cannot do poly. I simply cannot. And in my heart I know that if the sex is good, my feelings will get involved. And if there's no emotional attachment or potential for it, it will leave me empty, possibly even feeling dirty.

I was tempted to say that this may be a stereotypical gender thing, but probably not. I think it's really just a personality difference, not that anyone is right or wrong. For the longest time I'd been excited for a group experience, but with what I have now, I don't know. I am so territorial and possessive of her. Just an example of how everyone changes as their circumstances do, so it's great we have discussions like this where we can express the myriad options that exist.

I've experienced that already when counting myself as all vanilla, more than once. There's no use in trying to bang my head in the wall.

And as rules and expectations vary wildly...

For many it is not when you're required to be something, but when you have the possibility to be something. For me, the time to be careless and let my Dom lead and take care of me, in a more thorough way than otherwise.

Yes! I do and and say things as a Dom that I would NEVER contemplate with my beloved. But the freedom to explore tones, behaviors, emotions, etc. in a scene, where my sub is fully consenting, of course, and then do the best part - after care. Where we bask in the trust, afterglow, and affection of one another as a reminder and solidification of our devotion to one another. Scenes make space for a place that wouldn't otherwise exist in "normal" entanglements.

And in a more practical manner... It's the time I know I need to.... Eh, prepare myself in certain ways. A date night actually describes it rather well for me (our sessions even include dinner, sometimes staying overnight with all that it entails.)

Exactly! Scenes can be as short and simple or long and elaborate as fits the need. And the possibilities are virtually endless!

 

[BrendaBear]

…. Scenes make space for a place that wouldn't otherwise exist in "normal" entanglements.

Exactly! Scenes can be as short and simple or long and elaborate as fits the need. And the possibilities are virtually endless!

But where do you get someone to hold up that board thingy and slap it when you start? And who yells “cut”?

*** I’ll see myself out…, but I will still be giggling as I go ***

 

[Strixaluco]

But where do you get someone to hold up that board thingy and slap it when you start? And who yells “cut”?

*** I’ll see myself out…, but I will still be giggling as I go ***

You wrote that as a joke, but... In fact, my Dom does it for us. We have a short ritual for both.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

But where do you get someone to hold up that board thingy and slap it when you start? And who yells “cut”?

*** I’ll see myself out…, but I will still be giggling as I go ***

We don't need a director, so we cue ourselves in and out.

And in.

And out.

 

[TXRafe]

We don't need a director, so we cue ourselves in and out.

And in.

And out.

https://media1.tenor.com/m/V9SnQk_iiewAAAAd/searching-mark-angel.gif
has anyone seen @Chloe_Harper 's eye roll emoji?

 

[BrendaBear]

https://media1.tenor.com/m/V9SnQk_iiewAAAAd/searching-mark-angel.gif
has anyone seen @Chloe_Harper 's eye roll emoji?

https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExdHI2dzRzMTdjOTMzbmNldmh6YjVnb3NiaHJ3emIwN3pqYWI3MTVpbyZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/cfYuHRcGsDph1raQ2y/giphy.gif

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

https://media1.tenor.com/m/V9SnQk_iiewAAAAd/searching-mark-angel.gif
has anyone seen @Chloe_Harper 's eye roll emoji?

https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExdHI2dzRzMTdjOTMzbmNldmh6YjVnb3NiaHJ3emIwN3pqYWI3MTVpbyZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/cfYuHRcGsDph1raQ2y/giphy.gif

I'm really just here for my own amusement.

 

[BrendaBear]

I'm really just here for my own amusement.

Wait… so for you, Lit is word masturbating?

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Wait… so for you, Lit is word masturbating?

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Wait… so for you, Lit is word masturbating?

Unless we meet up somewhere - isn’t it for all of us?