The 50 Plus Cafe, Pub, All-Nite Greasy Spoon and Dive Bar

What's the old saying? " If I known I was going to live so long I'd taken better care of myself"

Aw, hell no! If I went back to do it all again, the ramps would be taller, the girls would be too. I wouldn't have spun out the family Buick Century into a culvert, but I would take a girl with me on that joy ride. I would have more parties... Oh, I see now.
 
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex.
But my wife insists it says dyslexia.

For her birthday, I took my wife to an orchard and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour.
Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently…

I was buying my wife some underwear, I asked the shop assistant; “Are these knickers satin?”
“No” she said, “They’re brand new…”

My wife said she would leave me because of my obsession with algebra.
Now she is my X.

I surprised my wife by getting romantic last night…
Best Scrabble score I’ve ever had…

I asked my new wife when her birthday was.
She said March 1st.
So I walked around the room and asked again.

I told my wife: There’s only one thing that scares me during Halloween…
My wife: “Which is?”
Me: “Exactly“
 
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