Make me dirty

[Bamagan]

Thanks to sloppy pronunciation, my true love brought me seven swains a-swimming on the seventh day of Christmas; I fucked two immediately and put golden rings on the rest to keep them stiff while I recovered.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

When she accepted his offer of a golden shower, she was thinking more of Danaë than Manneken Pis.

 

[intim8]

When she accepted his offer of a golden shower, she was thinking more of Danaë than Manneken Pis.

"Hey, that dere's mah daughter. Get offer! You wanna get an ass full of buckshot?"

 

[Tio_Narratore]

"Hey, that dere's mah daughter. Get offer! You wanna get an ass full of buckshot?"

Whenever his hips would buck, shot after shot of jism would fly across her belly.

 

[MargotPayge]

She continued stroking, surprised to see how much Buck shot, (Cheating? I don't care.) - crap I was too late. But it is the same idea as Tio's.

 

[nerdboy1000]

Whenever he came, he thought of that long, hot, summer with his distant cousin.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

As a general rule: the more distant the lover, the more passionate the reunion. We didn’t even make it out of baggage claim.

(Remember, the challenge is to write something that sounds dirty entirely by implication or innuendo. Using words like “fuck” or cum” is a cop-out.)

 

[intim8]

He was a world-weary man loaded with baggage; she was the carousel.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

He was so cheap that when he went to the bar for a pick-up, he looked for a girl who was already loaded so he wouldn't have to buy too many drinks.

 

[Bluebanzai]

He was so cheap that when he went to the bar for a pick-up, he looked for a girl who was already loaded so he wouldn't have to buy too many drinks.

As he dispassionately pummelled away at her rear, she felt cheap: but he'd simply not had the funds to afford her more expensive co-worker.

 

[WCSGarland]

As he dispassionately pummelled away at her rear, she felt cheap: but he'd simply not had the funds to afford her more expensive co-worker.

Gazing at the woman the man thought, a whore he could afford, a wife he could not, so he made a swift exit.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Gazing at the woman the man thought, a whore he could afford, a wife he could not, so he made a swift exit.

swift fingers, nimble tongue, and steady grips carry through to success

 

[Tio_Narratore]

swift fingers, nimble tongue, and steady grips carry through to success

He promised to carry her over the threshold, but he didn't tell her the groomsmen would all be waiting there for her.

 

[WCSGarland]

He promised to carry her over the threshold, but he didn't tell her the groomsmen would all be waiting there for her.

When his penis went beyond the threshold of her hymen, she was no longer a virgin.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

When his penis went beyond the threshold of her hymen, she was no longer a virgin.

Unusual sexual practices such as your favorites were only found beyond the pall of civilization.

 

[WCSGarland]

Unusual sexual practices such as your favorites were only found beyond the pall of civilization.

His wife practices making babies in the hopes of perfecting coital relations.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

His wife practices making babies in the hopes of perfecting coital relations.

The newly-wed couple were eager to have sex with all their friends and relations.

 

[WCSGarland]

The newly-wed couple were eager to have sex with all their friends and relations.

Are orgies best with a couple of close friends or best with complete strangers?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Are orgies best with a couple of close friends or best with complete strangers?

With their mastery of the Chinese Basket, the couple's goal of experiencing all of the basic 169 positions was complete.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

With their mastery of the Chinese Basket, the couple's goal of experiencing all of the basic 169 positions was complete.

As the Sex Olympics announcer howled, "Goallllll!" the vanilla doubles team achieved a perfectly paired orgasm.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

As the Sex Olympics announcer howled, "Goallllll!" the vanilla doubles team achieved a perfectly paired orgasm.

"Sex isn't a dirty word," declared the minister; "but having sex is a dirty act!"

 

[WCSGarland]

"Sex isn't a dirty word," declared the minister; "but having sex is a dirty act!"

Having a lover minister to her every secret sexual whim made Lady Chatterley a very happy woman.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

"The secret," she murred, "is observation. See the reactions as they happen, then press for more."

 

[WCSGarland]

"The secret," she murred, "is observation. See the reactions as they happen, then press for more."

The button of her clit begged me to press it until she devolved into a squirmy wet mess of a sex crazed mound of female flesh.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

The button of her clit begged me to press it until she devolved into a squirmy wet mess of a sex crazed mound of female flesh.

The masked ball began innocently enough, but as bits of clothing were shed with every dance, it quickly devolved into a a full-fledged orgy.