Can someone review my third chapter? (IT story))

[HaralLuhhan]

My third chapter is rated lower than the first 2, and I'm not sure what people aren't liking about it.

The first two are story buildup (IT, father/daughter) There are sex scenes but they are mainly with the mother and father. Also, I was not very detailed on those scenes because I'm not that confident writing that stuff.

The third chapter I tried being more detailed, and I'm wondering whether those scenes are putting people off because I didn't do well (a good possibility).

All three chapters are quite long (4-5 pages) so not going to ask someone to read the whole thing, that's too much. But if someone was in the mood to do so I'd be interested in hearing their thoughts on the whole thing.

Chapter 3 ramps up the action and ends with the father and daughter together.

So if anyone is willing, can you take a look and tell me if I could have done a better job?

https://www.literotica.com/s/shifting-boundaries-ch-03

Thanks!

 

[alohadave]

My third chapter is rated lower than the first 2, and I'm not sure what people aren't liking about it.

It has a 4.53 rating versus 4.62 for the first two. It's very normal for attrition to occur with multi-part stories.

You can see how the views, faves, comments, and lists are dropping off with each part. This is normal, and to be expected as readers either decide not to continue, or they lose track of the story (being published a month apart doesn't help this).

The older parts have also been up longer, so people have had more time to find them, so the numbers are correspondingly higher (views and votes will tend to go up over time, if slowly). Part 3 has only been up for 2 days. Give it time.

11/22/2024 H 4.62 20.2k 52 15 128
12/25/2024 H 4.62 5.6k 22 10 38
01/25/2025 H 4.53 3.9k 13 4 20

 

[HaralLuhhan]

It has a 4.53 rating versus 4.62 for the first two. It's very normal for attrition to occur with multi-part stories.

You can see how the views, faves, comments, and lists are dropping off with each part. This is normal, and to be expected as readers either decide not to continue, or they lose track of the story (being published a month apart doesn't help this).

The older parts have also been up longer, so people have had more time to find them, so the numbers are correspondingly higher (views and votes will tend to go up over time, if slowly). Part 3 has only been up for 2 days. Give it time.

11/22/2024 H 4.62 20.2k 52 15 128
12/25/2024 H 4.62 5.6k 22 10 38
01/25/2025 H 4.53 3.9k 13 4 20

Thanks. It's at 4.58 currently which is not bad, almost at the others. It's been dipping down below 4.5 though as more ratings come in.

I was hoping for some feedback in the comments but so far nothing beyond a few people saying they want it to continue.

I'll give it some time, as you say.

 

[HaralLuhhan]

It has a 4.53 rating versus 4.62 for the first two. It's very normal for attrition to occur with multi-part stories.

You can see how the views, faves, comments, and lists are dropping off with each part. This is normal, and to be expected as readers either decide not to continue, or they lose track of the story (being published a month apart doesn't help this).

The older parts have also been up longer, so people have had more time to find them, so the numbers are correspondingly higher (views and votes will tend to go up over time, if slowly). Part 3 has only been up for 2 days. Give it time.

11/22/2024 H 4.62 20.2k 52 15 128
12/25/2024 H 4.62 5.6k 22 10 38
01/25/2025 H 4.53 3.9k 13 4 20

By the way, 8Letters has been helping me with the story, giving me some good advice. That's part of the reason its been a month apart between chapters. It would probably be a mess if I did it any faster. lol.

Although the last chapter he didnt read since he's been busy. That's why I was wondering what other people thought of it.

The stats are looking much better now, actually, but I wasn't really concerned with the stats. The number of views on ch. 3 has almost caught up with Ch. 2 surprisingly.